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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Can the foolishness stop now?

To all of those so eager to defend the prophet's honor by attacking Denmark, well, hold your horses. You won. Ok? I called the whole thing retarded from the begining, and I warned of the consequences of the "continued outrage", that culminated in attacks against churches in Iraq the other day. Sensing that they are dealing with crazy and violent retards, people inside of denmark started calling for someone, anyone, to give an apology to the muslim people , who apprently are so sensitive that they can not be offended without bombing something. The Danish PM couldn't give such an apology, because, and I quote :"The Danish government cannot apologize on behalf of a Danish newspaper. It does not work like that ... and we have explained that to the Arab countries. Independent media are not edited by the government." This of course came as a great shock to the people calling for the apology, because, in our countries, our leader can order the public rape and execution of journalists over anything that he may not like. The concept of an autonomous and free press that is not regulated or controlled by the government is so strange and incomprehensible to our people that they immedietly thought that the man was lying to them or making excuses to cover up for his role in this conspiracy to belittle and attack the Prophet. It became clearly apparent that someone else needed to apologize, and indeed, many apologies were made. First there was the apology posted by the Norwegian government to make sure that no one gets mad at them too. Then there was the apology that was sent by the editor of the newspaper to the people of Saudi arabia over the cartoons, then there was the open letter explanation/apology that was published in the newspaper, then there was the apology made by that same editor in public for offending muslims, and finally there was an official letter of apology by that newspaper , again, that was sent to the Jordanian news agency Petra, where the guy apologizes again. Is that enough to calm you people down? Well, hopefully it is for the majority of you, because it's apparently not enough for the Iraqi terrorist group the Mujahedeen army. They just issued a statement saying that the apology or the boycott are not enough for the insult made against the prophet, and actually called for terrorist attacks against danish and norwegian targets to avenge his honor. "Boycotting cheese and dairy products alone is a flimsy stance that fits a weak nation that cannot defend its prophet ... They started this and they have to shoulder the responsibilities," said the statement attributed to the Mujahideen Army.

It called on its fighters to "hit whatever targets possible belonging to these two countries and other (countries) that follow their steps."

Great. Fantastic. Hope all y'all "defenders of the faith" are FUCKIN happy. And don't tell me that you didn't see that one coming. This is what always freakin happens. This is what happens when you create outrage, and use big words that you barely understand like "defending our prophets honor". And now you have proven to the whole world what the people who attack you have always said : that you are just a little crazy, that you resort to violence the moment anything or anyone offends you, that you can not handle criticisms without issuing death threats. Thanks to your own actions and voiced sentiments we appear to be uncivilized, short-fused, intolerant and bloodthirsty. And the sad thing is, you can't claim it's the media distoring our image anymore. All that they would need to disprove that excuse now is to issue a cartoon, and the next thing you know you will go unhinged again. You know why? Beause YOU ARE FUCKIN RETARDED!

Fuckin Morons!

Iran and the Holocaust, again

Iran wants to invite Blair to its Holocaust conference so that he could defend the myth that the "Holocaust really happend". No, really. "It would be good for Mr. Blair to participate in the Holocaust seminar in Tehran," foreign ministry spokesman Hamid Reza Asefi told reporters.

"He can also contribute with an article. If he wants to defend the Holocaust in that article, he can do so. We will give him the time to read out his article so others can hear his point of view," Asefi said Sunday, adding the conference was slated for "the coming spring".

Blair, the israeli zionist agent who knows that the Holocaust didn't happen, of course chickend out on the offer. On Monday, Blair lashed out at the planned meeting as "shocking, ridiculous, stupid," and said Ahmadinejad "should come and see the evidence of the Holocaust himself in the countries of Europe". Resorting to name calling, huh Blair? Afraid to be exposed as the zionist agent that you are? Well, the iranians are not scared, and the courageous A.J. took him up on his challenge. "In Mr. Blair's speech there was an invitation for the Iranian president to go there and see the places close up. We have to see when the president has time for it," Asefi said.

Iran's foreign ministry has already said was willing to send a team of "independent investigators" to visit former Nazi deaths camps across Europe.

Yes, I am sure they can bring down the number of Jews killed by at least 2 - 3 millions, because 6 million jews killed is a tragedy, but 3 million jews? Ehh, that's in the acceptable range. The onion seems to have the Conference's schedule. Check it out.

We support Cindy Sheehan for US Senate

Cindy wants to run for senate against Diane Feinstin for not being anti-Bush enough. I say about damn time Cindy ran for Office. Don't ask about qualifications or anything, atually , shame on you if you do. Don't you know that her son died in Iraq and she is still grieving? Not to mention, she might kick Diane Feinstin out, and that I do support. Go here and show your Support to Cindy.

Tom cruise up for worst actor award

Finally, someone recognized this man's efforts. Go Tom!

Monday, January 30, 2006

The retardedness continues

Yesterday asked the people who were calling for a Denmark boycott to stop being retarded. They apparently did not receive that memo. Evidence of continued retardedness? Well, where should I begin? First, the Saudis called back their ambassador and its Islamic World Association called on UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan to take firm measures against institutions, media and individuals who "insult the messages of God and the prophets". The Libyans, not to be outdone in the retarded department, shut down their entire embassy in Denmark and stated that "other measures will be taken" without elaborating. The Palestinians in their turn threatened Danes in the area and told them to leave immediately, and then engaged in their favorite past-time of flag burning by, you guessed it, burning the danish flag. To be the owner of a flag factory in the West Bank. Now that's money. And last but not least Iraq. You know those bombs that attacked christian sites the other day in Baghdad? Well, according to Elaph, the Iraqi police believe they were carried out in protest against those danish cartoons. Great Job nimrods. I am sure the Prophet is very pleased by your defense of his name and honor. Fuckin Retards! Update: Given to what I've read here of arabs cheering on a forums the alleged news that the cartoonist who drew the cartoon was found dead next to his newspaper with his body torched (h/t roba), the calls for a UN resolution, backing possible sanctions , to protect religions by the Arab League and the OIC and what my co-wrokers have told me when I told them about the bombings in Iraq ("good, that will teach them not to mess with muslims again!") , I have concluded that the retardedness is more prelevant and ingrained then I so previously thought. In light of all of these events, I see that I am left no choice but to to join forces with BP and Jameed and encourage people to Buy Danish. Cause the retardedness has got to stop!

No laughing matter

After committing the incredibly stupid thing of voting Hamas into power, the palestinians seem to be going "Uh-oh" about the whole thing. Realizing that there ain't nothing they can do now about what they did, they aare taking a page out of the Egyptian passivism book and are making nervous jokes about the whole thing. A slew of jokes circulating among Palestinians following Hamas' landslide election victory reflects concerns that the fundamentalist group will impose Islamic law and social codes across the West Bank and Gaza. As one goes, all police stations in the West Bank and Gaza Strip have been ordered shut because all complaints must now be filed directly to God. Invoking God and Islamic tradition is the mainstay of all the quips that have been spreading by word of mouth and mobile phone text messages in the past few days. There are good reasons for that...

Hamas officials rushed to deny that they will force their beliefs on Palestinians.

"Rest assured we don't impose our thoughts on anyone," Hamas leader Khaled Maashal said Saturday in the Syrian capital, Damascus. "We will present our thoughts to our people and they have the right to choose."

Many Palestinians were not reassured.

One newly elected legislator has said she plans to submit a bill requiring girls and women to wear the hijab, a headdress covering the hair.

Ok, so enough about the depressing stuff. Want more jokes? Mobile phones are abuzz with text messaged jokes prophesying a new police uniform mirroring the short dress and baggy pants worn by the former hardline Taliban rulers of Afghanistan, and a discount on taxes for Christians who convert to Islam within a week. Nice. It's not all bad though in my opinion. I mean, for the palestinians it is, but not for the rest of us. This will give people a chance to see how a Muslim Brotherhood government will be like once it's in power. It shall give the rest of us a "taste for what's to come" so to speak. I can't wait!

Nadz vs. Soumaya Ghannoushi

This is no Catfight. This is Nadz tearing Soumaya a new crapshoot! It's so painful, yet so sweet to watch.

You know you have a sweet job when..

..you take a 2 week vacation, end up taking a month, and when you come back you find out that you are not fired, they didn't deduct anything from your pay, but actually gave you a 25% raise. Maybe I should've been gone for 2 months?

You know you are a crackhead when...

You take your Ipod to work and you leave your cellphone at home, because you mixed them up. I need to ask my mother if she was smoking something when she was pregnant with me, because, like...damn!

Galloway under fire

Finally, the british have booed Galloway in public. It can't be because he went on Big Brother, where he pretended to be a cat and lapped imaginary milk from a bowl and...no, wait, that did do it. The MP was initially unaware of the impact he had made when he emerged from the Big Brother house on Wednesday night after spending 21 days cut off from the outside world with a bunch of semi-celebrities under 24-hour scrutiny. But a crowd of people gathered outside booed and jeered in a sign of what Galloway, 51, might come to expect following his eviction. Confronted by several unflattering newspaper headlines about his Big Brother appearance by presenter Davina McCall, Galloway said with a faltering smile: "Oh dear, oh dear." [...] Among the more memorable moments was when Galloway impersonated a cat lapping imaginary milk from the hands of actress Rula Lenska and performed a robotic dance in a tight, red leotard with transvestite Pete Burns. His antics drew a scathing reaction from fellow lawmakers. "I think when he next stands up in the House of Commons whenever he dares he is going to be absolutely ridiculed," Alan Duncan, an MP for the main opposition Conservative Party, told BBC television's Newsnight program. Nice!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

A message to those who demand a Denmark boycott

Ok, now that I have got that out of the way, let me inform you the reason why I am giving out this message. I am guessing some background to the issue is necessary after all. Here is a very brief one: A danish newspaper published 12 cartoons depicting Prophet Mohamed, which in turn pissed off the islamic community in Denmark and caused an outbreak of outrage against the printing of those cartoons, since it is forbidden to draw the prophet in any way. The arab governments, eager to appease the growing islamist undercurrent, decided to jump in on the action and demand an apology from the Danish government and some sort of punishment exacted against the newspaper over the cartoons. The Danish Prime minister naturally thought the delegation that met him was retarded, since Denmark is a country where there is Freedom of speech, and the Prime minister can not just reprimend people for printing a cartoon. This came as a shock to the delegation, who thought the PM of Denmark was going to throw the reproters and cartoonists in jail like they do in our countries, and only encoruaged the outrage apparently: Death threats have been made against the cartoonist of course, and calls to avenge the "honor of the prophet" started to pile up all over the world. Now, the jordanian parliament just called for the punishment of the cartoonists who drew the cartoons, The International Union for Muslim Scholars threatend to call for a world-wide boycott of danish goods unless the Danish government "does something", and apparently some people went ahead with the boycott anyway, drafting a website for it and providing a list of danish products that no allah-fearing-muslim should buy. This naturally sparked a debate between the egyptian bloggers: there are those who think that Islam and the prophet need us to defend them, those who think that boycotting danish goods is fairplay if they are offended and those- like me- who think the whole thing is freaking retarded. And since I am dealing with retards here, let me try to break my reasons down in simple sentences for them to understand. So bear with me, ok? Ok, reasons why a boycott is retarded: 1) You are boycotting the wrong people: The people who published those cartoons work in a danish newspaper. They do not own danish factories, make danish cheese or toys, or any of those nifty products that they have on that list. In essence you are punishing everyone and everything danish because what one newspaper printed, and yet, you are not really punishing the newspaper. Not really. Unless they are exporting their newspaper to Egypt, which they are not, you have less than 0% of actually affecting them, hurting them or punishing them. In short, you are preventing yourself from eating some really good cheese for no reason at all. You want to hurt the people who did this? Sue the newspaper. Sue them everywhere, for any reason you like. That should affect them directly. This boycott won't. 2) This will accomplish nothing, except getting more people pissed at muslims: Given that the " we are outraged" movement has decided to go all out with their speeches, it was inevitable that some crazy hotheads decided to issue death threats against the newspaper and the cartoonists. Yes, cause nothing says we are peacefull tolerant people like death threats and boycotting a whole country. I've yet to see a single christian group get mad at the Rolling Stones for having Kanye West depicting Jesus on their cover, and you know why? because they understand that there is something called free speech and freedom of expression. That it's not always pleasant. That some people will try to provoke a reaction out of you by offending you with something like this. And you know what? Muslims fall for it every single time and then the crazy bastards amongst them go all the way and do something stupid. Like the Van Gogh murder in 2004. Remember how good that made us look in Holland? What? You want to go through that whole thing again, and drag us with you for the ride? Thanks but no thanks moron. Our reputation is already bad as it is, and we don't need anymore help sullying it. 3) The Prophet doesn't need your defense: If you truly believe that the Mohamed is god's prophet and that god exhalted him beyond all other prophets, then do you really think anything that anyone will say about him will make an ounce of difference? Will the sun rise from the west because someone said it does, or will it rise from the east regardless? Do you get my point here? Do you understand that cartoons depicting the prophet will not hurt him in any way, not will they harm his image? What is it you are afraid of? Someone looking at the cartoon depicting him and going "Ohh, that Mohamed fella really doesn't look pleasant. He must suck as a person if a cartoon shows him with bombs on his head. There is no way I will convert to Islam now, and from this day forward I will fully support the bombing of its followers."? What, cause cartoons hold so much power over people? Or are you afraid that muslims will look at those cartoons and go "Gee, our prophet doesn't look good here. I am done with Islam. I am going to turn Hindu and worship a cow instead"? Or is it his reputation that you are afraid will get tarnished because oif that cartoon? That somehow, someone will make an uneducated and totally ignorant judgment on the prophet and the religion because of 12 cartoons in a newspaper? Well, if that's the case, answer this question for me: What is more likely to tarnish the reputation of Islam: 12 cartoons in a newspaper, or calls for punishment and death threats to the people who penned those cartoons? Which damages our reputation more? Are you getting the point or do I need to draw it out for you? So please, will all of you pious fuckheads who think you will score brownie points with God over your boycott stop being retarded? A danish boycott will do nothing, the same way the american products boycott did nothing, and any future boycott will do nothing. Grow up. Accept other people's opinion even if they disagree with yours, the same way you want them to accept your opinions. And next time you see something that offends your muslim sensibilities, whether it's a movie, a cartoon, or a piglet mug, do us all a favor and just look the other way. And if you are really mad, then take a xanax or count to 10 or something. Or even better, go get laid. Find a danish woman and sleep with her. Now that's revenge. Just whatever you do, don't do something stupid, or encourage people to do something stupid, or use big words such as "demanding the Mohamed's Ummah would rise up to defend his honor" when you don't undertsand them or their consequences. And remember, prophets exhalted by God do not get tarnished by humans, nor do they need human defenders, especially ones that are as stupid as you. Thank you, and have a pleasant evening, The Sandmonkey PS: Roba has historic islamic illustrations of the Prophet from different islamic cultures. Check them out, and don't boycott her. No death threats either, ok?

Hamas wins, the palestinians lose!

So the palestinian elections came and went, and Hamas won by a landslide. Fantastic. The palestinians have truly shot themselves in the foot this time. Given how the US and the majority of the european countries view Hamas as a terrorist organization- as they should- it's not hard to imagine them cutting off all aid to the palestinian government completely. They chose their bed, so they might as well lie in it. What's interesting are all of those voices who claim that Hamas is going to get moderate once they are in power. That they will have to compromise and therefore the aid should not be cut. Those people are delusional of course, and are not listening to what Hamas' leader has to say about this. But to give you the short and sweet version, it's "Death to Israel, Death to the US, the armed struggle will continue till the last martyr, blah blah blah". Strong words coming from a leader so courageous that has to reside in Syria to avoid getting killed. Inspiring, no? I used to believe that the continuation of the peace process rested more on the upcoming israeli elections than the palestinian one, but now the whole thing is decided: There will be no peace process, since Hamas is not interested in peace. This could get even worse if Hamas did any attacks between now and the elections, because that may just give the Netenyaho Likud camp the kind of boost that they need to win this election. Talk about your nightmare scenario: Hamas vs. Netenyaho. The worst both sides have to offer. For a lack of better words, they are made for eachother. They have so much in common, that in an ideal world, they would be dating. Oh well...

Find out how racist you are

The nice people at Harvard created this test that can measure how racist you are, and you can't really lie to it. Up for a challenge or a journey of self-discovery? Take the test here.

The Sandmonkey blog is visually entertaining

Yes, I aim to entertain y'all with videos that are..well....entertaining. For example, if you are from the coveted 14-34 videogame movie demographic and would like to go see Bloodrayne because of superhottie terminator Krstianna Loken is rumored to have a sex scene in it, well, don't even bother to go to the theathre and waste your money. I got you the sex scene right here, and it's free. I just saved you 10 dollars. Who loves you baby? But if you are looking for non-NSFW fun or are a female reader, well, I got you coverd as well: Here is a video showing "Inside the actor's studio's" James Lipton reciting the lyrics to Kevin Fedraline latest attempt at rapping, a.k.a. "Popozao" on Conan. In case you missed it, watch it here. It's pretty damn funny!

Blame Harry Potter

Occult activities amongst american teens on the rise. Freaky!

Back in C-Town

So I am finally back in cairo, after spending a whole month in the USA meeting what could only be described as the best readers a guy could ask for. And then upon returning, I am greeted with the egyptian national team beating the Ivory coast's team into submission in what only can be described as an awesome game of Football (It's football, not soccer, America. Get used to it!). People's spirits were high, lots of egyptian cuties painting the flag on their cheecks,egyptian flags are everywhere, and the celebrations on the streets didn't stop yesterday for 3 houres after the game was over. You can sense we needed something to celebrate, you know? It ain't over though, and it won't be till the Africa cup is ours! capt.abc10901281944.egypt_soccer_african_cup_abc109 GO EGYPT!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

New York tommorow

I will be in town from 11 am till 3 pm. If anyone wants to meet me for lunch, e-mail me and I will call ya!

Michael Jackson wears a burka in Bahrain

When are people just gonna admit the simple truth that Michael Jackson is just plain crazy? The dude walks around Bahrain wearing a niqab, a burka, while shopping. Here is his picture. xhj103_bahrain_jackson.sff Will someone, anyone, please put him in the looney bin already? Jeeezzz...

Kanye West is Jesus

kanye-west-jesus How big of an ego can someone have really?

Poor Alaa

He comes back from his Africa trip to find that the egyptian state security agency wants him in for questioning. Bastards. This is why I am not telling anyone when I am coming back: I really don't feel like having a welcoming committe at the airport, you know what I mean?

Is it discrimination or integration?

I just read this post by Masreya on the questions that the germans are now asking muslims in their citizenship exams. She seems to view it as an act of discrimination, while I am not so sure. Here are some of the questions for your viewing pleasure: 1) In films, plays, and books, the religious feelings are sometimes insulted of those who have different religious beliefs. According to you which methods are acceptable for individuals to" use to fight against such religious insults and which not. 2 )How do you feel about criticism about your religion? Do you find this permissible? Could you discuss this? 3)What do you think of the statement: That a wife must obey her husband and he can hit her if she does not obey him? 4) Do you think it is permissible that a man shuts his wife and daughter into the house in order to prevent them from dishonoring him in public? 5) In Germany the police can intervene in a violent argument between a married couple, and in order to prevent further threats can send the aggressor out of the house for several days. What do you think about this? 6) Your adult daughter/your wife would like to dress like other German girls and women . Would you attempt to prevent her from doing this? If so, with what methods? and my personal favorite: 9) Imagine this: Your adult son comes to you and declares that he is a homosexual. He says that he would like to live together with another man. How would you react? LOL. I dunno about you, but that's a tough question to ask anybody, you know? But that last question aside, I am not sure that the questions are discriminatory against muslims, but are the-probably-too-late-of-an-attempt to find out if their immigrants will intergrate in the german society or just chose to live in their own neighbourhoods and traditions, doing the country inside a country thing. If anything, those questions are revealing: This is what they think of muslims now. For them we are the women opressers, the wifebeaters, the homophobes, the probable terrorists. This is what we stand for in their eyes now, and not without good reason. We live in a society where women are expected and asked to stay home, where hitting women is very common and considerd a common disciplinary action and where Jihady thinking runs around unchecked. And now they are calling us up on it. They are calling us on our crap, the crap that won't fly in Germany, that shouldn't fly anywhere, and we are pissed of course, cause we don't expect people to show us what our ugly side looks like in the mirror. We expect them to lie to us and ignore our baggage, pretend it doesn't exist. Instead of dealing with our very serious problems, we get offended and scream discrimination when someone else points them out for us, all the while we have a rise in honor killings in european countries amongst its muslim population, and the australians are issuing a cultural sensitivity booklet for their police that basically says not to treat domestic disputes in muslim households the same way they do any other household, because apparently hitting women is part of our culture, and not a single muslim leader objects to that. Which is more offensive: committing the act or being called on it? I don't know, but I think those questions are very valid ones, questions that I wish I could ask every muslim and see what their reactions and answers would be. I mean, chances are they will tell the germans what they want to hear on their test, but in all honesty I wonder if their honest-to-god answers to those questions would be the kind that would fail them such an exam, and if that's what's really so offesnive to us after all.

Favorite song at the moment!

Been given 24 hours To tie up loose ends To make amends His eyes said it all I started to fall And the silence deafened Head spinning round No time to sit down Just wanted to Run and run and run Be careful they say Don't wish life away, Now I've one day And I can't believe How I've been wasting my time In 24 hours they'll be Laying flowers On my life, it's over tonight I'm not messing no I Need your blessing And your promise to live free Please do it for me Is there a heaven a hell? And will I come back? Who can tell? Now I can see What matters to me It's as clear as crystal The places I've been The people I've seen Plans that I made Start to fade The sun's setting gold Thought I would grow old, It wasn't to be And I can't believe How I've been wasting my time In 18 hours they'll be Laying flowers On my life, it's over tonight I'm not messing no I Need your blessing And your promise to live free Please do it for me In 13 hours they'll be Laying flowers On my life, it's over tonight I'm not messing no I Need your blessing And your promise to live free Please do it for me I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it All that I said, I meant it, I meant it And I can't believe How much I've wasted my time In just 8 hours they'll be Laying flowers On my life, it's over tonight I'm not messing no I Need your blessing And your promise to live free Please do it for me In just 1 hour they'll be Laying flowers On my life, it's over tonight I'm not messing no I Need your blessing And your promise to live free Please do it for me 24, Jem

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Abdel Halim Qandil, Eat your heart out!

The "great" leftist egyptian "intellectual"- and I am using the word intellectual here while holding my nose - Abdel Halim Qandil is at the forefront of the movement to reject any kind of normalization or agreements with Israel what so ever. He would actually want the peace agreement with Israel annulled and calls arabs who support peacefull relations with Israel to be "arab zionists". In his "brain", not a single egyptian would be for the QIZ trade agreement with Israel, which I proved to be wrong by highlighting demonstrations by actual egyptian workers who were demonstrating to have their factory join the QIZ and get over our irrational anti-semitism. Remember this actual quote from an egyptian textile worker- the same class Qandil claims to represent and champion? "People do not understand that if we do not have a QIZ here, me and my co-workers will be kicked out of the factory. We should stop being over sentimental about Israel and see what is good for us," said Mohammed Al Assal, a 43-year-old textile worker. Well, the QIZ agreement has been good for us after all. Really good! But a little over a year ago, Egypt did accept the deal and it has been impressed, not to say astounded, by the impact on its No. 1 manufacturing sector, the garment industry: thousands of jobs created, higher wages, and soaring exports to the United States. Here are some numbers for ya: Figures from the Israeli Export Institute show that trade between Egypt and Israel, dominated by goods for the garment sector, rose from $58 million in 2004 to $142 million in 2005.

Although the amounts are small — Egypt's global exports are worth about $12 billion a year, Israel's are about $30 billion — it's still a whopping 144 percent increase in only one year.

Wages in Egypt's textile and garment industry have risen 25 percent since December 2004, when Egypt, Israel and the United States signed the Qualified Industrial Zone agreement, according to Mohammed Kassim, the vice chairman of the Chamber of Textile Industries, and Magdy Tolba, the head of the Ready-made Garment Exporters Association.

Egyptian clothing exports to the United States in September 2005 were 85 percent higher than those in September 2004, Kassim said.

The QIZ agreement enabled Egyptian exports to enter the U.S. market tariff-free, as long as 11.7 percent of their production material — textiles, dyes and packaging — came from Israel, and they were made in specific industrial zones.

The accord has proved so popular that Egyptian workers and companies successfully pushed their government to expand the QIZ zones so that they now cover the whole of greater Cairo, the Suez Canal cities of Ismailiya and Suez, and four Nile Delta provinces.


Tolba estimates at least 15,000 jobs have been created since the QIZ and 30,000 jobs will be created this year.

Wow, all of that because of just one year of the QIZ. Imagine if he had accepted it back in the 90's, when it was offerd to us and Jordan. We, the herald of arabism, refused because of the "palestinian cause". The Jordanians, who are 70% palestinains, accepted it 8 years ago, and their economy shows it. The reason? The Jordanians are after their interests, and not hollow slogans, like we egyptians are. However, there are other differences. Egypt sees Israel as a regional rival and has been loath to strengthen relations while the Palestinian conflict continues. Jordan seeks to influence Israel by engagement and, for geographic and demographic reasons, its economy will always be closer to Israel's.

The upshot is that 12 years of peace between Jordan and Israel have produced 20 Israeli factories in the kingdom while 27 years of Egyptian-Israeli peace have seen the construction of only two sizable Israeli factories in Egypt.

And I bet those factories' owners identity has to remain hidden too. Whatever. I hope those facts would help people-especially those on the egyptian left- to realize the potential and the benefits of such a trade relationship with Israel. I hope it makes them realize that at the end of the day, workers would rather make money and feed their families then stand for hollow ideals and slogans. I hope it also makes them relaize that if it wasn't for capitalism and globalization, so many of the people they claim to champion would have no jobs. I think if they are smart , they should realize that their battle shouldn't be against capitalists and businesses, but against unfair labour laws and government corruption that does stop more busineses and investment from existing in Egypt and that allows the kind of crony capitalism (cough Ahmed Ezz cough) that gives capitalism a bad name to exist. I hope. I doubt it, but I hope anyway!

Hitchens agrees with me when it comes to Osama's last speech

I said that his truce offer was a sign that he is losing, especially that it is the second offer of the kind so far ( the first truce offer was given to the europeans, remember that?). Hitchens seems to agree with me that there is desperation in Osama's voice. And he has a theory on why that is: This comes in the context of a reported and believable split within al-Qaida's own ranks. There doesn't seem much reason to doubt the authenticity of Zawahiri's letter to Zarqawi in Iraq, raising doubts about his strategy of poisoning Iraqi society by targeting the Shiites. Heretics they may be, says Zawahiri, but are you sure that blowing up mosques and mausoleums is the right way to go? Add to this the number of home-grown Iraqi "insurgents" who are turning their guns on Zarquawi's gangsters, and you have a real crisis for the bearded nutbag whose very name used to terrify even some of the stoutest in the West.

I have been attacked for callousness and worse for saying that Bin Laden did us a favor on 9/11, but I am increasingly sure I was right. Until that date, he partially owned Afghanistan and his supporters were moving steadily toward the Talibanization of Pakistan as well. There were al-Qaida sympathizers within the Pakistani intelligence services, armed forces, and nuclear establishment (which then included the A.Q. Khan network). There was also an active Saudi support system, consisting mainly of vast tranches of money, for jihadism worldwide. Now, Afghanistan is lost to Bin Laden and Pakistan has had, at least officially, to modify its behavior considerably. The A.Q. Khan network has been shut down. The Saudi ruling class identifies its state interest with a repudiation of al-Qaida, inside and outside its own borders. And the one remaining regime that openly preached holy war and helped train jihadist forces like the "Fedayeen Saddam"—the pseudo-secular terror state in Iraq—has been irretrievably smashed. Wherever Bin Laden is now, it cannot be where he wanted or hoped to be four and a half years ago.

As I said before, shouldn't be long now!

Bombs goes off in Iran

This is not about the nuclear stand-off: Actual bombs, 2 of them, went off in Iran today, killing 8 people. Who is the iranian authorities blaming? Britian! A police official told state television that "they are home-made bombs."

The official added: "A home-made bomb exploded inside a branch of the Saman bank, which is totally burned."

Another news report said: "Emergency workers are looking for the injured and the dead inside the bank." In October, another double bombing in Ahvaz killed six people and wounded more than 100. Iran has blamed Britain in the past for the unrest, accusing British forces based across the border in Iraq for backing ethnic Arab separatists.

In October, Manouchehr Mottaki, the Iranian foreign minister, said the clerical regime had proof of British meddling.

"The information shows that Britain is seeking to create insecurity in our country by interfering in our internal affairs," Mottaki said at the time, also adding that the consequences "could be worrying for the British".

Britain has firmly rejected the allegations, part of a wider deterioration of relations between Tehran and London over suspected Iranian meddling in Iraq and the Islamic republic's disputed nuclear programme.

Interesting. And here I thought that they would blame Israel or the US as usual, you know? On a side not, if we accept that this is the result of an attempt on the life of A.J. , wouldn't that make it the second such attempt in one year? He is loved by his people that guy, no?

Newton law still stands

For every action..... Koranninja fugly MB female supporters. There is an equal and opposite reaction..... image-Z151510-0001(2) nahlasalamah Egyptian actress Nahla Salamah in the Cairo film festival Oh Boy!

Kill yourself in style

Here is the ultimate guide to writing great suicide notes!

Herpes cures cancer?

It's no joke. Imagine what they will find out next!

The conservatives won in Canada

They did! And now I feel even worse for the US liberal crowd: where will they go to now?

The perfect way to start your day

You wake up 2 houres late because your alarm did not go off. You quickly shower and shave and wear your cloths and step out of the house only to slip on the iced stairs and take 6 stairs down on your ass in front of a whole street. Your pants get torn, your shoulder dislocated and your ass bruised. And then to add insult to injury, after you take your bruised aching ass upstairs again, you get a text message from your roommate warning you about the slippery stairs. Perfect!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Create your own Bush speech

Just type the words and he says it. Enjoy! Update: Link is fixed. Sorry about that!

Al Qaeda is merchandizing

No joke. They are selling Al Qaeda paraphanelia online now here. aq-teddybear Now that's messed up!

on the iranian nuclear crisis

Sometimes what we need to understand a crisis is a little satire.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Bin Laden Book club

Osama Bin Laden has been known to be a lot of things: Murderer, terrorist, evil mastermind. He is adding a new description on that list: Book promoter. In his "Truce offer" on Al Jazeerah a couple of days ago, he mentioned a book called "Rogue state" by an unknown leftist writer by the name of Willian Blum. That was enough to make the book jump to # 35 on amazon's bestseller list after spending 2 years as # 205,763. And judging by the author, it's easy to see why Bin Laden would love the book: It's easy enough to see why bin Laden chose Blum -- despite the fact that Blum grew up in Brooklyn, N.Y., the child of Jewish immigrants from Poland. In the first line of "Rogue State," Blum writes, "Washington's war on terrorism is as doomed to failure as its war on drugs has been." This fits securely into the singular theme that Blum has pursued through four books. "The U.S. government does not mean well. It doesn't care whether it does good or bad," he explained. "The second lesson is that anti-American terrorists are not motivated at all by things cultural. It's what we do. It's American foreign policy." Over the years, Blum's books have been translated into 15 different languages, including Chinese, Korean, Greek, Finnish, Spanish and two Arabic editions. They are all displayed on one of the many bookshelves in his small living room, a converted office otherwise decorated with the detritus of an activist's life: A dollar bill with President Bush's face and the words "The United States of Aggression"; a Project Censored award; and a lapel pin that says, "Gay Whales Against Racism." He admits, "I am not very p.c." Hmmm, ok. And how does he feel about the plug from Osama? As for his newest booster, Blum offers no apologies. "The people who have interviewed me in the last few days, they keep pressing me to say how repulsed I am to get a plug from Osama bin Laden. I am not repulsed." WoW. That is not to say he has any sympathy for bin Laden's brand of violence or religious extremism, only that he is not surprised that bin Laden agrees with his writing. Why would he be surprised? They both really dislike Bush and the US, no? But don't judge him to quickly though; he is not exactly a fan of Bin Laden either. "I hate any kind of religious fundamentalism," he says. He did not support U.S. military actions in Afghanistan or Iraq, but he says he would hate to see bin Laden and his crew in charge of either country. "The oppression of women," he says. "The whole thing turns me off." The killing, the stoning, the suicidebombing, the beheading doesn't bother him apparently, only the opression of women. And it's funny, because he is against the war on Afghanistan, even though it removed a regime that would be very aptly described as "Bin Laden's crew" and that very well opressed women. But don't let that contradiction stop you, cause it sure ain't stopping him. The man is the kind of leftie that makes the left look stupid and looney. What, I am too harsh? Check out what he said next: "If I were the president, I could stop terrorist attacks against the United States in a few days. Permanently," reads the section quoted in part by the world's most notorious terrorist. "I would first apologize to all the widows and orphans, the tortured and impoverished, and all the many millions of other victims of American imperialism." In that passage, Blum goes on to explain that he would end American support for Israel and reduce the military budget by 90 percent. So let me get this straight: he would apologize to the world on behalf of America (cause every war America engaged in was its fault and part of their imperialist campaign), and then the terrorists of the world and all of America's haters would be like: "Finally, an apology. That's all we wanted. That's all we really wanted all of those years." and then they will lay down their weapons, pack up and go home and resume a normal productive life that doesn't involve Jihad or killing innocent people. Right? And since this will be the case, there is really no reason why the US would need its military budget, because the whole world would have no reason to attack it or hate it anymore, and everyone will live happily ever after and in peace. Except for Israel. But that's ok. Those Jews had it coming anyway. That's the genius plan, right? Hmm.. ok. I have a different scenario to propose: The US goes and apologizes to the world for all of the widows and the orphans it has caused in its wars against Hitler, Mossulini, Milsovic, the Taliban and Saddam Hussein, not to mention all of those conflicts it engaged in during the cold war with the USSR, since we all know that the USSR was god's paradise on earth for all of those who inhabited it. Those were all bad calls on the US' behalf and should be ammended immedietly. The US should withdraw immedietly from Iraq, after restoring Saddam Hussein to Power, who apparently killed his own people because of the US' agression and imperialism. The US will also vow not to interfeere while he attacks and invades Kuwait and Saudi, cause let's face it, it really isn't its business anyway. The US should also re-install Solobodan Milsovic and help him rebuild his military, so he could continue his genocide against muslims in Kosovo. They should also withdraw from Afghanistan, but only after they hand back power to Mullah Omar and the Taliban. Sure, they committed horrible atrocities, but that's fine. The US had no right to toople that regime, even if it did sponser terrorism and give Al Qaeda shelter. As we all know, there is never any justification for the US to go to war, even if it was attacked. The US had it coming anyway. And while we are at it, the US should withdraw its troops from South Korea immedietly and let North Korea take over that country and unify them both. It should also give North Korea all the food they need free of charge, after all, their people are starving, and it's probably the US' fault and not their ruler's in anyway. And even if it was their ruler's fault, that's none of the US' business. The US should also not do anything while the Middle-east sinks into chaos, with the start of the inevitable Iranian-Israeli nuclear war. Europe should handle it, after all, the europeans know better, are more diplomatic and are more civilized then those agressive trigger-happy americans. I am sure they will figure out a peacefull solution to the whole problem, one that doesn't involve any threat of force what so ever, and only diplomacy. It should work great, probably after the whole war is over by the mutual nuclear destruction of the engaging parties. Sure, the area will be contaminated for the next 1000 years, and hundreds of millions will die, but at least that problem will get resolved once and for all, no? The US should also let China do whatever China pleases with the world, and if they start taking over their surrounding countries, the US should not do anything. If anything, the chinese should just become the world's next super power and take over that job. You know that they are democratic, sane and not at all opressive or agressive country, where the people get to decide who leads the country. They aren't any of those things you say? Oh well, it's probably the US' fault that they are this way anyway. Don't ask me how, I am sure someone will find a way to blame it all on the US. They always do. Yes, I am sure that the US apologizing for all of its imperialism and virtually eliminating its armed forces (that's what will happen if they reduce military spending by 90% by the way) will bring about world peace and will make the world stop hating America once and for all. Egyptians and other arabs would probably be bummed out after losing their favorite excuse and scapegoat, but they will probably be dead or dying anyway from nuclear contamination resulting from the aforementioned war, so at least they won't be bummed for long. Ahh, what a paradise such a world would be. Don't you agree?

I have been going to the wrong University

I should've went to the University of Maryland: They have female professors who run prostitution rings, from their own homes. Imagine that! But Howard County vice officers say she was also developing a résumé of a much different sort: The 41-year-old mother of two is accused of running a prostitution service from her Ellicott City home under the alias Alexis. According to charging documents, Britton advertised her services and rates on a Web site. Jeez....

Police began investigating Britton 10 months ago after receiving complaints about her Web site, which was shut down yesterday. This week, a police officer working undercover made an appointment with her. According to charging documents, Britton opened the door and led the officer to an upstairs bedroom. She told him to undress and place $400 on a table by the door. After leaving the marked police bills, the officer went to the front door and let other officers inside to arrest Britton, according to documents.

Police found 150 condoms and other pieces of evidence, the documents said. Officers also removed several business records that they say tie her to the Web site and prostitution, the documents said. Yesterday, Howard County police spokeswoman Sherry Llewellyn declined to say what those records included.

I heard of liberal professors, but damn!

Fred Kaplan needs your help

The Iranian nuclear crisis (you know they will call it that soon enough) is confusing the hell out of Fred Kaplan, to the degree that he is asking his readers to give him a peacefull way out, because he can't seem to find one himself. I don't know if there is one actually. War- or at least military action- against Iran over its nukes seems kind of inevtiable at this point to me, but I could be wrong. What do you think?

Cause some people need the help

A waiter informs the rest of us how to order wine in restaurants without looking like an asshole. You know from the first 3 rules that the guy knows what he's talking about: 1. Look at the wine list before asking, “What kind of wines do you serve by the glass?” The list at my bistro’s extensive. If I’ve got to rattle off all the wines, you’re wasting my time. Forgot your reading glasses? I’ll lend you mine.

2. Don’t ask, “What’s cheap?”

3. We love selling glasses of wine! The restaurant makes more money per bottle that way! Pssst! It’s usually cheaper to buy the bottle.

My Mom does the glass thing and it pisses me off. Always buy the bottle. And since we are on the topic of waiters, here is something I wanted to show you guys for a while now: This guy has the most hilariously true post on the make-up and dynamic of the restaurant's staff. If you-like me- have ever worked in the glamorous service industry, you know these people and you might've even slept with one of them (I did with the bitchy waitress). Enjoy the trip down memory lane!


In the absence of a more pressing question, slate provides an interesting article on why some of Islam's most famous Jihady clerics are actually blind. There is a blind leading the blind joke in here somewhere, but I am not really in the mood to make it.

Sandmonkey recommends

low2 Watch this movie. You will not regret it!

There is no place like home

I am heading back to egypt. Vacation is over and the tour is done. very soon I will be in NYC and I will contact my NYC peeps so I can meet them before going home. I will be back though, and I think for a long time as well, in a couple of months time. Let's just keep it our little secret, but I got kinda offerd a position working in DC. It will be a while till all the red tape is over and done with, and until then I will be chillin like a villian in good ole Cairo. Hopefully nothing will go wrong between now and then, but knowing my luck, well...yeahh....anyway... It will be good to be back though, because I was leaving way too many loose ends behind, and I think it's time I took care of them. The sucky part is that I will be running out of money again. No worries, I am not asking for donations again...yet. But when the time comes, I hope y'all be feelin generous for yours truely. TTFN, The Sandmonkey

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Get me a Peace of that!

side byside Karim has finally figured out the secret formula to a lasting peace in the middle-east and it is: 1 palestinian girl, 1 israeli girl, nudity and lots of Body paint. It's a unique and daring vision that very few would pursue, but that didn't deterr someone who longs for peace in the middle-east like Karim, who took it upon himself to go to Montreal, find the girls, get them all naked and painted and then took their pictures, which you can find right here. (NFSW..DUHHHH) Kudos Karim, we at the Sandmonkey blog salute you and would like you to keep up the good work. Bravo my dear friend. Bravo.

You know you are surrounded with egyptian guys when..

.. you go to LA and end up spending your Friday night in an arabic cafe with 12 guys and 1 girl, smoking Shisha and watching 4 guys play estimataion (a card game) for 3 houres. Never in my life did I want to shoot myself like I did yesterday. Bastards!

Here is a better hostel review

Some people complained that my review, was, well, kinda short, so I decided to give you one by this great website: Every once in a while, a horror film comes along that really raises the bar for other films in the genre. In Hostel’s case, not only is the bar raised, it’s used to sodomize a 19 year old pledge in a bizarre fraternity hazing ritual. Hostel has got to be one of the most juvenile films I’ve ever seen, and that’s a lot coming from a guy who has Attack of the Crab Monsters on DVD. This cruel, soulless picture feels like it was made by idiot frat boys for idiot frat boys, complete with nudity, violence, and a complete ignorance of the way anything other than a beer bong works. Couldn't have said it better myself!

Move over Amr Khaled..

...there is a new islamic evangelist in town and his name is Moez Masoud: He is younger, better looking, smooth, more articulate, speaks perfect english and doesn't have that girly voice that Amr Khaled has. Oh, and he is also egyptian with the kind of background story that makes you just wanna repent your evil ways. And what's the name of his show? Stairway to Paradise. Not presumptious at all, no? This is the kind of thing you find when you watch ART's USA channel (they broadcast him on all of ART's international channels; who knew there was an ART Latino?), and it's probably aimed at the US muslim audience and that elusive segment that live in the "american ghetto" in their own arab countries. Cause, you know, we can never have too many veiled girls, right? Riiiight!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Do you know what Hamsa is?

Hamsa is a middleeast human rights promotion organization, that is a collaborative initiative between two organizations that bridge America and the Middle East: The American Islamic Congress represents American Muslims - and all Americans of conscience - who stand for individual rights across the Muslim world. The Tharwa Project, a minority and civil rights group based in Syria, embodies indigenous efforts to advance a regional movement. Hamsa is also where some of our good friends at the "Or does it explode?" blog work, so you know it employs smart people. Hamsa has an essay contest, where the top prize is $2000 and whose Judging panel is stock full of celebrity reformers: From Saad El Deen Ibrahim, and Gloria Steinhem, to Bloggers Mahmood Al Yousef and Ammaraji. If you are american or middle-easterner, can write well and wouldn't mind getting 2000$ in your pocket, than I sincirely urge you to check them out.

The Bin Laden-Bush conspiracy continues

Fellow egyptian blogger, Zeinobia, seems to believe that the new Bin Laden tape, you know, the one with the truce offer, was released to get more americans to fear Bin Laden and trust Bush, because, you know, they are in it together. Bush is behind 9/11, him and the Mossad and Hallibourton and the Oil companies and the carlyle group and the saudis and..well, you watched Fehrenheit911 like her, can anyone explain to me how that conspiracy theory goes again? I get confused sometimes, because they are way too many parties involved apparently. Anyway, when it comes to that truce offer, I can only quote last night's John Stewart's reaction: "Bin Laden, we may not be happy with the Iraq War. With that war. But we are still very much pro-bombing the living shit out of you!" And that's alll there is to it.

Good luck

It wouldn't be an overstatement to say that the egyptian left got crushed in the last parliamentary elections, especially since the MB urged all of its voters to vote the socialist Tagamooa party candidates out of office after the bitter attack that the party launched against the MB in the media. It may seem strange to observer that the left may have problems in Egypt, especially that the economic conditions are just ripe to be exploited using leftist rhetoric : Poverty is rampant, government is corrupt as all hell, and the middle class seems to all but dissappeared from our class structure. The problem that the left in Egypt has, besides having almost no solid street presence, is that the current islamization of Egypt has managed to alter the perception of the leftist. The Equation now is: Leftist = Communist = Godless Infidel, and we wouldn't want Infidels to gain power in our great islamic republic now, would we? The trick to bring it back to its prominence seems to be that they have to erase this image from the average egyptian Mo's mind and make it seems possible to be both Muslim/christian and a socialist or a marxist. To strike that balance that is pro secularism and yet not anti-religion. Altough, honestly, it seems that they are just not getting that memo: He listed other reasons why the left was no longer a presence on the political scene. It is too scattered and divided, and on too many occasions the various factions have squandered whatever political capital they possessed on squabbling among themselves. "We need to unite, we need a party," he continued, "an Egyptian communist party that can Egyptianise Marxism... An elected, democratic party... we communists have never experienced democracy [from within].We know only centralisation." But you can not egyptianize marxism with the whole "religion is the opiate of the masses" part being a pillar in that ideology. Sorry man, just not happening. It would be far easier for them, if they wanted to win, to get rid of that part, and try to remind people how "nicer" the living conditions were when the country was socialist under Nasser. Do they do that? Nope. Instead, they waste their time talking about the palestinain problem, engaging in anti americanism, going on demonstrations against the normalization of relations with Israel, and all of that hollow slogan bullshit that-as the egyptian saying goes- "doesn't feed anyone bread". But, will they do that? Probably not. They are too "intellectual" for their own good and too stuck in nasserite ideology to even see that it was this same line of thinking that screwed us back then and continues to screw us now. Unless they change their modus operandi completly, the egyptian left is doomed to just fade away. And I don't really want that for my own selfish reasons, one of which is that I would rather fight socialists than political islamists for starters. The other is that their presence is a necessary balance to the islamists, which in turn can only benefit the secular capitalists, which is the group I belong in. Wishfull thinking? Perhaps. The left is all but dead, and secularism will probably follow. It seems more and more everyday that the islamist revoloution is all but inevtiable. Oh well..

Ding Dong Gomaa is gone

Finally some good news on the egyptian political landscape: The Wafd Party finally removed Nooman "walking skeleton" Gomma from his position. YAY. This is good because the Wafd party has the potential of becoming a great opposition party in Egypt, already having its old name and numerous members and established organization. The only person who used to keep it from improving or playing politics correctly was its leader, who is so out of touch and so obsolte it's not even funny. What's even better is the fact that the new temporary leader is Mahmoud Abaza, and he is a seasoned politician who wants to win and more importantly knows how to win ( he took out Zakariah Azmy's brother in the parliamnetary elections), and that's the kind of person they need at the helm. Update: It seems seneferu agrees with me!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Being the devil's advocate

Here are a couple of statements that I would like to put out there and see what your reaction to them will be, ok? Ok! Let's go: 1) Could it be, that despite the hundreds of millions of dollars given to the PA to help them built better housing for their refugees, that the only reason why no such housing was ever put in place is that its better to keep the palestinian people in a humanaterian crisis-thus put more and more pressure on the israelis- than let them have the better living conditions that this money entitles them to? 2) Could it be, that the main reason why american black civil rights activists never mention that there is slavery and slave trade in Africa till this day (Mauritania and Sudan for example) is because american blacks would realize how good they have it in evil opressive america as opposed to the african motherland? 3) Could it be, that the reason why Amr Moussa opposes the US democracy initiatives in the middle-east has nothing to do with arab nationalism and american imperialism and more to do with the fact that his salary is paid mainly by arab dictators? 4) Does anyone find it interesting that the founder of the Planstinian resistance movement was an egyptian intelligence officer in Ghaza and that Yasser Arafat was born and raised in Cairo? Or is it just me? 5) If the MB is so opposed to the zionist entity, then howcome their palestinian branch, which is also known as Hamas, was helped and funded in its begining by the israeli Mossad as an alternative to Fath? Wouldn't that mean that the clean honest MB actually collaborated with the Mossad and thus are collaborators with the " zionist enemy"? Just wondering....

This is my chair

Tomanbay has an interesting anecdote of how childish our Parliamntarians act in the Egyptian Parliament. Check it out!

Good answer

FFE tackles a very good question: What is the ideological or psychological knot that keeps the Middle Eastern people at the camp of freedom losers? Why do most Egyptians stand unconsciously in support of dictatorship? Well.... Most of seculars in Egypt are socialists or communists, hence enemies of the capitalist free world of Europe and the United States. Majority of Egyptians are pro-Arab nationalism. This ideology that kept all Arabs, including Egyptians, slaves to their dictator rulers. To be a successful dictator, you need to create an external enemy. The enemy was created through this ideology, hence the sustainability of the no-individualism and continuous hatred against invented enemies, mainly the US and Israel. The happy relationship image between the US and the regime in Egypt spread frustration feelings among Egyptians that the US is supporting their torturer and helped the US to lose credibility among Egyptians. That gave opportunity to regime to strengthen political Islam, hence creating an enemy to the US. The over-blown stories of victory in media over Israel strengthened the idea of Israel the enemy and not the peace agreement. After the death of President Sadat, the only culture that was instilled was that Israel is the enemy. It was important to isolate Egyptians from Israel to kill peace and maintain an everlasting enemy that serves dictatorship. Also, because the true battles that should be won at the domestic level, like alleviating people’s poverty is not a priority, however, making people believe that the regime is watching Israel, the enemy, is the worthwhile battle. Our neighbor Saudi Arabia was given the keys to our lands to establish mosques that worth millions everywhere while true poverty stand few meters from the luxurious mosques. Poverty is on the rise, and fatalism struck the balance. Theology is closely related to the development of all other corners in life in general. A third enemy was created here but from within the Egyptians. Egyptian Copts became another enemy to Egyptian Muslims. The reason why they became enemies is because citizens are not treated on the basis of their citizenship rights but on their religions. That also is another justification why we should hate Israel and the US, the Jewish and the Christian enemies. The Copts became the American agents because they are Christians like the US. Those whom the US considers pro-US educated Egyptians as some of them had their degrees in the US universities are double-agents. They are using the US and working with the regime against the causes of freedom and democracy and against the Egyptian people. Non-partisan opposition groups in Egypt are writing in their mission statements as preamble; “the Zionist enemy, the US occupation …etc”. They are recycling and singing the broken records of the fascist regimes in the Middle East. They make no difference to impress anyone and that’s why their base will always remain weak domestically and internationally. They do not promise a dream, they promise victories based on more hatred and revenge. Islamists in Egypt are successful because they are singing their own song. Touche...

There we go again

A bunch of idiots tried to stop the christians from building a church in Egypt and more than 10 were injured. But yeah, Christian-Muslim relations in egypt are great and strong and anyone who says different is a liar.

Syria is funny

According to the syrian government, the fact that Washington froze the assets of Assef Shawkat, Syria's military intelligence chief, and the brother-in-law of Bashar al-Assad, the president, and one of the top Syrian officials linked to the assassination of Rafiq al-Hariri, is another example of how the US wants to impose its will on the world. A Syrian official said in a statement: "This decision shows the extent of this administration's arrogant and unilateral practices in its attempts to impose its will on the international community," So the US needs to consult with the world before freezing someone's assets? Yeah, ok. The Syrian official, who was not named in keeping with government practice, said in the statement the US action "once again proves the US involvement in defending Israel's aggressive policies against the Arabs". "The policies supported by the US administration do not serve security and stability in our region. But they would increase their rejection by the Arab people," the official said. Yeah, cause arab people will be up in arms that one of Syria corrupt regime officials got his assets that he keeps in the US- which is their enemy- frozen. Yeah, that's likely! And I love how they put Israel in there as well. The message is clear: They froze his US assets because of Israel. Why does he have assets in the great Satan in the first place? Well...that's really none of your business.. and did we mention Israel? The evil zionist entity? Yeah, that's all you need to know!

Al Jazeera spin

Man, only Al Jazeera would spin the latest Bin Laden tape as a "Truce offer". Here is what it said: In an audio tape broadcast on Aljazeera, Osama bin Laden has warned that al-Qaida is preparing an attack very soon, but also offers Americans a long-term truce. The voice, attributed to Bin Laden and apparently addressing Americans, said: "The new operations of al-Qaida has not happened not because we could not penetrate the security measures. It is being prepared and you'll see it in your homeland very soon." Nice. Now on to the part about the truce: "Bush tried to ignore the polls that demanded that he end the war in Iraq. "We are getting increasingly stronger while your situation is getting from bad to worse," he told the US, referring to poor US troop morale and the huge economic losses inflicted by the war. "The war in Iraq is raging and the operations in Afghanistan are increasing." "In response to the substance of the polls in the US, which indicate that Americans do not want to fight Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their land, we do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stick to. "We are a nation that Allah banned from lying and stabbing others in the back, hence both parties of the truce will enjoy stability and security to rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan, which were destroyed by war. Ok, first of all, you don't threaten someone, and then tell them that you don't mind having a truce with them. Just kind of ruins the whole Truce offer effect of it all. Second of all, the americans aren't really suffering high casualties in Iraq at all. Not really. It's how many dead soldiers now? 2000? 2200? And that's over a span of 3 years, and including those who died in the initial invasion? That's a lot of casualties? Are you kidding me? And what's the percentage of the dead compared to the number of troops? 2000 out of 180,000 troops is what? Less than 2% casualty rate? After 3 years of war and an invasion? Fighting insurgents who are using rockets against you (which means they don't even have to aim well) instead of bullets and only killing 2200 in 3 years? Are you kidding me? Thirdly, I love how he talks about how god prevents him from stabbing people in the back, cause he has no problem slaughtering people like sheep, even if they are journalists who are on his side, let alone those who oppose him. Taking a truce offer from a guy like that is like putting a rattlesnake in your room and expecting not to get bit. Not to mention, rebuilt Afghanistan and Iraq? They will do that? In the image of the Taliban I persume? Yeah, right. That sounds like a good idea! And is it just me, or does it seem like the tailor his speeches to the democrat voters base? This fits perfectly with the "Bush lied, babies died" "withdraw the troops now" crowd, who apparently couldn't give a rats ass to the consequences such a troop withdrawel would have on the lives of iraqis, that I swear they share talking point memos. This isn't the first time this happend though, remember Bin Laden's tape right before the 04 election, where he mentioned parts in Fehrenheit911? He must really follow Michael Moore's work. Now the question is, why offer the truce now? Is it out of the benevelonce of his hearts? Are we really expected to believe that he-Mr. death to the Great Satan- cares about the welfare of the american people and doesn't want any of them to die? Or could it be that things aren't going his way anymore, with thousands in Morocco and Jordan marching against terrorism, with more and more Iraqi troops getting trained and deployed, and with the US strikes getting closer and closer to him and his Zawahiri? Could that be really why he is offering this truce now? I wonder...

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Blowback

More than 4 months ago, I wondered what we-Egyptians- actually want from the US when it comes to the pressure they were exerting on Mubarak for democratic reforms. I unlike many of my peers, actually believed that the US is sincere about pushing for reform or democracy, but really couldn't do much without the egyptian public doing something about it. The egyptians scoffed at that, saying that the US let this farce of a presidential election happen, and lamented on how Ayman Nour, the US' darling, was now rotting in prison without any of them doing anything about it. They viewed it as further proof that the US' push for democracy was nothing but insincere theatrics and that the Americans won't really do anything about it. Now- all that passive criticisms bullshit coming from people who won't do anything themselves aside- it seems that the US has already taken some action against Egypt's regime after all, and decided to hit them where it hurts: the US free trade agreement, as Freedom For Egyptians reports. "An Egyptian delegation that was to visit Washington this month to discuss a free-trade agreement has been disinvited, and the agreement itself was put on hold. Thanks to Mr. Mubarak's autocratic backsliding -- including his crude persecution and imprisonment of his leading liberal opponent, Ayman Nour -- Egypt will continue to lag behind Jordan, Morocco and other modernizing Arab states that enjoy tariff-free access to U.S. markets. For Egypt's business community and the reformist technocrats in its cabinet, the message should be clear: Egypt won't join the global economic mainstream unless it abandons its corrupt dictatorship." Smart move, since Egypt really needs that Free Trade agreement with the US. If we lived in a society that values common sense, we would use that piece of news to critisize the government for their actions, which will hinder for years to come the always ailing Egyptian economy. But since this is Egypt where the opposition is retarded, knowing the anti-American leftist Egyptian opposition, they will probably criticize the US for their decision and cite it as an example of how the US wants to influence and rule Egypt and will probably be happy that the FTA is no longer a possibility. After all, an agreement that brings prosperity to egypt through closer relationship with the US must be evil, and we wouldn't want to seem as if we support the evil US now would we? Hmmm....

Hezbollah supporters protest in Lebanon against the US

They did. Thousands of them. Protesting next to the US embassy against "american meddling in their affairs". Their protests against US meddling in lebanese affairs also included them chanting "Hail Ahmeddinjad" and "Hail to Bashar Al Assad" , cause Iran and Syria are lebanese affairs as well apparantly. Somehow they can manage to do that and not realize the irony of their actions, which was not lost on the lebanese commentators here.

This is great

Tomanbay did a google search, and now he has a list of what google says egyptians are known for. Check it out!

Oooohhh...Hamas is shaking in their boots.

They must be, because the Palestinian PM Abbas has announced that he would resign his post if the government formed after the parliamentary elections opposed his policies. Given how much influence Abbas has on the palestinian street and his control over Ghaza, Hamas leaders must have ponderd over the gravity of his announcment for almost 5 seconds, before ignoring him like they usually do.

Jill is alive

Kidnapped american journalist Jill Carroll seems to be still alive, thanks to a 20 second video shown on Al Jazeerah. Thank God. On a side note, doesn't anyone find it interesting how easyily those Al Jazeerah heads get ahold of those tapes? Howcome no one ever asks them about that? But Back to Jill, Natasha has all the updates. Update: The kidnappers of Jill had demanded that women held by the iraqi authorities be released in exchange of keeping Jill alive. This could be completely unrelated, but it seems that the coalition forces are giving in to their demands.

Those poor malaysian males

The courts in Malaysia, encouraged by women rights groups, have struck down a new Family Law bill, citing that it gave too much power to men, especially those who want to marry 4 wives. What got those women's panties in a bunch? Well.... Malaysian Muslim men are allowed four wives under Islamic law, but under the new amendments they would no longer have to prove they are financially capable of treating all their wives equally before taking on another. On taking a new wife, men could seize property belonging to existing wives, and they would be given new rights to claim assets after a divorce, as well as less obligation to pay compensation and maintenance. Oh, those damn femenists. How un-islamic of them. Oh, wait a minute.. The group is also urging the government to hear feedback from the public, particularly women with experience with the state Sharia courts. Critics have said that the bill is "un-Islamic" by taking away traditional rights extended to women, and going against the religion's principles of equality and justice. Oh, those damn islamic fundementalist femenists, abusing the males rights to have their cake and eat it too. Is there no stopping them?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

LA all over again

It seems I will be heading out to LA after all. I will be available there from tuesday till the end of the week. If you want to meet up, e-mail me!

Religious police bans play in saudi

They couldn't have women acting in plays, so saudi male actors resorted to play women's parts in plays, which now is banned by the religious police, because a fatwa came out against men dressing up andacting like women. So what they are basically saying is, if you want to act in saudi, and you don;t have an all male ensamble, you ain't acting. This seems counterproductive in an anti-gay country: bringing more and more theatre males together, you know? You would think they would know better. Oh well..

The Iraqi kidnappers of Jill Carroll are stupid

They are. They kidnapped a woman who is very critical of the US middle-east's policies and couldn't be more pro-arab. Basically they kidnapped someone who is likely to see things their way. Morons. I just wish they would let her ago. She seems like an orientalist, someone who is attracted and values the arab culture and the arab people's point of view, which doesn't make her a terrorist sympathizer or apologist as some people may say. And I wouldn't want someone to get hurt just because they love arab culture, because it has many things to love. So I hope they let her go.

“This is the absolute worst place for a woman to travel alone,” she said. Men harrass me constantly. They hiss, stare, and make kissy noises."

Michael Totten's series on Egypt continues.

Top 10 Blogger lies

This is great. Number 9 is so true!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

On Al Hurra

To the arab and arabic-speaking readers of this blog: Most of you must be familiar with Al Hurra, the US backed arabic satalite news station. If you are, then you must also be familiar with how much it sucks, or to be more proefessional here, how little credibility it has amongst its targeted arab viewers. Check out its schedule to understand how irrelevant its programming is. In case you did not know, Al Hurra is going through a series case of re-shuffeling, and the people handeling it really want to make the channel significant in the arab street. And they would like your help on how to how they can do that and they asked me to ask you for your feedback and opinions. If It's possible, you can leave such opinion in the comments section or e-mail it to me. Now, I know how some of you may have porblems with that, since you view it as the channel of the american state department or you may be anti-american in general and wouldn't want this channel to gain any kind of credibility what so ever. That's fine, but hear me out here and maybe you too will see the opprutunity given to us here. Whether we like it or not, there are 3 major arabic speaking news channels: Al Jazeera, Al Aarabiya and Al Hurra. If you watch Al Jazeerah, you know its biased against america and certain arab countries, and very much advances the agenda of the islamists in the region. Not to mention, as we in Egypt know, the fact that the channel is owned by Qatar's government means that whenever one of the other arab governments doesn't want them to focus on something, they speak to the emir of Qatar and he makes it go away. The same applies to Al Aarabiyah. They rarely give air-time to any arab reformer or pro-democracy activist or opposition member unless, for some reason, they are from the MB. Either way, they suck. And the fact that AlAarabiyah was actually running a story on how people who celebrate Halloween are devil worshippers, well, doesn't add much to its credibility. Both channels have a biased ideology, and whether you like it or not, it's not one that favors common sense, let alone reform, change or democracy. And this is where Al Hurra comes in.. Al Hurra could effectively become the news channel for the opposition in all of the arab countries. It could host and give voice to discussion groups amongst the opposition in Egypt, Syria, or whatever opressive arab country is out there. It could give the syrian opposition a voice, since the Baathist regime controls all the media in the country. It could bring to light the abuses of the middle-east regimes and get more people to realize the necessity for change and reform. It could provide an alternative source for news in the middle-east, a forum that allowes those fringe voices of change a medium to broadcast their message. What I am trying to say isthis: It maybe US funded, but we can make it work for us. And that's a good thing, because god knows we need all the help we can get. So please, if you would like to see it become a positive voice for change and democracy instead of a satalite channel that no one watches, send me your suggestions and I will forward them to the people in charge there and they will do their best to follow them. So let's give them something to follow. If you are interested, please send me your suggestions a.s.a.p. and I will just forward them along to them. Hope to hear from you soon. The Sandmonkey

Oh! Now Galloway is embaressing???

George Galloway has finally done it: The british people are demanding that he gets censored. Not because of his crazy antics, or his support to Saddam Hussein and Bashar Al Assad, but because he got on the TV show Celebrity Big Brother, where at some point he pretended to be a cat, started rolling around and then lapped imaginary milk while some actress scratched him behind his ears. No. Seriously. Here is a picture: galloway That, apparently, did not bother his spokespeople as much as they were botherd that the show producers have edited out lots of his political comments and views. Galloway's spokesman Ron McKay said the producers' decision to censor Galloway's political comments was a setup and added that the legislator would have refused to be on the show had he known that some of his comments would be bleeped out. But I guess it's ok to have him pretending to be a cat on TV. And he is the MP from the "Respect" party nonetheless. How quickly words lose their meaning. On the bright side, the anti-war "Lion" will have to endure being called a "Cat" from now on and for many years to come. That's great news to me , cause I always thought that when it came to arab tyrants he always was a Pussy. Sorry people, just had to go there!

I know that's a little late, but...

So, I know that New Year's eve was 2 weeks ago, but this may still come in handy, or for next year's new year party, or for general refrence pruposes. Just check it out!