The Jihad news network

Al Qaeda has launched an Internet News Network called the Voice of the Caliphate, and you can guess what kind of stuff they are saying: In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate. The headlines of this news summary: Gaza has been liberated – a great victory, yet a weighty responsibility. In Iraq, Abu Mus'ab Al-Zarqawi declares a war of Sunni vengeance, and Hurricane Katrina is the beginning of the divine, just punishment. [...] Welcome to the program "The Nation's Weekly News Summary." First, the "Sout Al-Khilafa" team sends its best wishes to the Islamic nation for the defeat of the Zionist occupation in a portion of occupied Palestine. We also congratulate ourselves on the destruction caused in America, by one of Allah's soldiers. The Muslim multitudes in Palestine were seen thronging to the liberated lands, waving the banner of victory. Meanwhile, the mouthpieces of the so-called Palestinian Authority spoke about disarming the mujahideen under the pretext of what they called "the weapons anarchy." But the response of the mujahideen groups on the front lines was clear. They announced their refusal to disarm as long as the occupier remains in the land of the Muslims. We now move on to the occupied land, to the land of the Caliphate, the glorious land of Iraq. The American wolves, and behind them the Rafidite Shiite dogs, have desecrated our (women's) honor in Tel'afar and other Sunni cities, while the Muslims and the scholars of the Sultans keep silent. The valiant hero, the Emir of Al-Qaeda in Iraq, Abu Mus'ab Al-Zarqawi, rose to defend the honor of the pure Muslim women in the robbed land of Iraq. In two consecutive communiques, he declared the beginning of the Sunni vengeance raid. The entire Islamic world overflowed with joy when Hurricane Katrina struck in America, which seemed to reel from the strength of the hurricane and went asking for aid from all the countries of the world. Broken and completely humiliated, George Bush, a fool who is being obeyed, announced his obvious incapability to deal with the wrath of Allah that visited the city of homosexuals. LOL Ok, I gotta say: I love it. This is great. If anyone ever doubted the insanity and viciousness of those people, this is the eprfect way to erase all doubt. I just hope they broadcast this on the nightly news, so the anti-war protestors can see whom they defend. On another note, I find the fact that they launched this news Bulletin, right around the same time when it seemed that Tayseer Alouni's indictment was inevitable, sort of telling. They lost their boy at Al Jazeera, so they went ahead and created their own network. Say what you say, those boys have a sense of initiative. Ohh, yeah, and they also showed solidarity with him in a special boradcast: According to the breaking news report, which just appeared on the Qatari Al-Jazeera TV, the Spanish court deliberating the case of our Muslim brother, Tayseer 'Alouni, sentenced him to seven years in prison. The Sout Al-Khilafa media company released a communique over the internet, harshly condemning the conduct of the Spanish Crusader infidel court towards the Muslim journalist Tayseer 'Alouni, a reporter for the Qatari Al-Jazeera TV. The communique expressed complete solidarity with our brother Tayseer 'Alouni in this crisis and in light of the injustice from which he is suffering because of his reliable and completely objective reporting, which complied with the internationally accepted journalistic standards. Yeah! Al Qaeda morons, I would like to inform you that calling him a brother, isn't really helping his case. He is trying to prove he is not affiliated with you guys. Good job on screwing him over further you morons. Keep it up!