.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, June 05, 2005

100 Things about me

The following is a list of 100 things you probably didn't know about me. I stole the idea from Sally. Here we go: 1) I have a love/hate relationship with structure: I loathe it while secretly yearning for it. 2) I am capable of great acts of goodness and horrible acts of evil and it all depends on how I feel at the moment. 3) Ohh, and I am incredibly moody. 4) I love jazz music and I can listen to blues music for hours. 5) I've hooked up with a girl once in a submarine under water. 6) I sometimes think that the location was the only reason why me and her hooked up. 7) I've only met 2 people in my life that were smarter then me, and one of them is dead now. 8) I eat my frosted flakes with whole milk doused with Hershey's syrup. 9) I like things that are bad for me. 10) Which kind of explains half of the relationships I've had and writing this blog. 11) I've attended both a Muslim exorcism and a Christian exorcism, and I can't decide which was the scarier experience. 12) I can read tarot cards really well, and started when I was 12. 13) I can also give the best backrubs and neck rubs and I know where all your pressure points are. 14) I am not afraid of death. 15) I am, however, afraid of living an unfulfilled life. 16) I am pro death: I support suicide, assisted suicide, capital punishment; anything that keeps the highway moving faster. 17) I am very protective of women, and I can’t decide if it's due to my savior complex or my middle-eastern up-bringing. 18) I've gone cow tipping before and it's actually fun! 19) I don’t trust men who call the bathroom "the little boys room". 20) If a girl has any "Princess" paraphernalia ( stuff with the word princess written on it, or a tiara) I would never ever think of dating her. 21) One of my ex's was in Hustler Magazine. 22) I love short or petite girls, but I draw the line at 4'11. 23) I have like 8 e-mail addresses and I can’t remember the passwords to half of them. 24) Sometimes I miss being a 6 year old; adulthood is no fun. 25) I can drink you under the table as long as we are not talking Whiskey or bourbon. 26) Liqueur over beer any day. Why waste time? 27) My favorite red wine is “chateau nauf de pape”. Try it. It’s excellent. 28) I think Dave Matthews is overrated and I believe Rob Thomas to be underrated. 29) I love Merrell shoes. 30) I could live on Nutella and white toast. 31) I love Making out. I think people should do it more. 32) I love the cold weather so much that when I came back to Cairo last winter I used to sleep with the A/C on. 33) It’s not that I am a know-it-all. I am just smarter than you. 34) In case you haven’t noticed, Arrogance is my middle name. 35) I love using analogies in my conversations with people. 36) I am sometimes very Manichean, and other times Mr. “It’s all relative”. 37) I prefer drastic measures over rational ones. 38) I love being the devil’s advocate. 39) Self-involved isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind. 40) I am addicted to Mango Juice. 41) I am seriously afraid of heights. 42) I can’t sleep unless I have some lights on. 43) I believe that there are little people living in the walls of every place I inhabit and they have nothing better to do but steal my good socks. 44) I love candle light. 45) I love reading in the bathroom. 46) I almost died 10 times. 47) I daydream all the freaking time. 48) I sometimes fantasize about being a stand-up comic, but I know I am not that funny. 49) I care so much about making money, yet I never save anything. 50) I am a glutton for punishment. 51) I always fall for the wrong girls. 52) I survive break-ups quite nicely. 53) Every girlfriend I know tried to change me, and the only thing I changed was girlfriends. 54) I get along with women more then I get along with men. 55) I am extremely spoiled. 56) I hate being ignored 57) I think Indifference and not hate to be the opposite of love. 58) If you are my friend, and I got love for you, there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you. 59) And yes, that would include killing people and helping you hide the bodies too. 60) “He doesn’t adapt to people, people adapt to him”. 61) My ideal way to die is to die when i am 82 years old on the hands of a jealous husband. 62) On my good days I am harmless; on my bad days I am lethal. 63) Keep your distance when I am having a bad day. 64) I find that making the same mistakes over and over again is always more fun then learning from them. 65) I’ve accepted the fact that I am a little crazy a long time ago. 66) I actually prefer the company of so called Crazy people. The normal ones are always so boring. 67) My list of friends include: A circus clown, a secret service agent, a music label owner, the son of an arms dealer, and a sexaholic. 68) Drama seems to follow me wherever I go. 69) I think parents shouldn’t be allowed to have kids until they pass some sort of “you are not a psycho parent” test. 70) I have a highly addictive personality. 71) I get bored of people easily. 72) I am extremely nosey. 73) I have really big feet. 74) I am a sucker for a good conversation. 75) Challenge me mentally and I am yours. 76) I can cook really well, but refuse to cook unless I am cooking for 2 or more people. 77) I never feel as free as I do when I am behind the steering wheel of a car. 78) I read way too much. 79) I can’t decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. 80) I find the idea of predestination terrifying. 81) I think your job should be doing something you are good at, instead of something you love. 82) If all else fails, I will go to Italy, own a vineyard and marry me a nice Italian Bella and have many bambinos and bambinas. 83) I am good at figuring people out. 84) I am also good at manipulating them. 85) I hate having any kind of roommates. 86) I am a bed hawg. 87) I can line- dance 88) I find the idea of angels to be scary. 89) I am a city boy who wouldn’t mind living on a farm and riding horses all day. 90) I am a closet idealist. 91) My personal motto is: The world is a tragedy to those who feel and a comedy to those who think. 92) I can watch South Park and the Simpson’s episodes back to back nonstop and would never get tired of it. 93) I can’t drive stick. 94) I think “One more cup of coffee” is the best Dylan Song ever. 95) I love cheesy WB TV shows and could watch them for hours. 96) I say my biggest fear is finding out that I can’t have children. 97) My real Biggest fear is to be a bad father and let them down. 98) I think babies should come with mute buttons 99) My favorite color is Black. 100) I even own black bed sheets.

40 Comments:

At 6/05/2005 04:02:00 AM, Anonymous Ruth said...

The whole list transfers mainly one thing to me: You are still very young! Enjoy and accept that you will change and your perception will change too and that change will be a good thing because people who do not change get ossified.

 
At 6/05/2005 06:33:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Oh ruth, then i am doomed to get ossified then, whatever that is!

 
At 6/05/2005 07:31:00 AM, Blogger gatorbait said...

I'll teach you to drive a stick-shift. Might come in handy someday. Yeah, I'm afraid of heights ,too, especially on a big building. Nice list, Sam.

 
At 6/05/2005 08:21:00 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

lol@no. 54
as for no. 71 'I get bored of people easily.' ..try to do something about this ..;)

 
At 6/05/2005 08:23:00 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

on the other hand , a stick shift is that an ordinary gear car ? ya3ni opposite of automatic ..sorry don't know this terminology

 
At 6/05/2005 09:11:00 AM, Anonymous Kei-T said...

Re: #48 - becoming a stand-up comic
Yes, you are that funny. I think you should go for it. :)

 
At 6/05/2005 12:06:00 PM, Anonymous joefrommass said...

"It’s not that I am a know-it-all. I am just smarter then you."

I think you meant to say "than you"

 
At 6/05/2005 12:31:00 PM, Blogger Rosebuds said...

"73) I have really big feet."

ummmmm....very, very interesting... ;)

 
At 6/05/2005 02:17:00 PM, Anonymous Caroline said...

You forgot No. 101: "I'm a self-absorbed, moronic, uninteresting, spoiled rich kid who's under the impression that he's very clever,"

 
At 6/05/2005 02:56:00 PM, Blogger gatorbait said...

Sam, ossified means turned to bone (loosely)
I'd say Miss Caroline is NOT one of your fans, bud. Oh well, into each life.....

 
At 6/05/2005 02:58:00 PM, Blogger gatorbait said...

Highlander, the other term for a stick-shift is a standard . In the States, "standard" tansmissions are not as common as are automatics.

 
At 6/05/2005 03:15:00 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

In this case, ossified basically means being unintentionally dragged into the 9-to-5 life.

 
At 6/05/2005 03:28:00 PM, Blogger gatorbait said...

Jeff, you hit the nail quarely , too. Perfect context.

 
At 6/05/2005 04:36:00 PM, Anonymous Averroes said...

"7) I've only met 2 people in my life that were smarter then me, and one of them is dead now."

Are you threatening me or something?

btw, I rest on my own black bedsheets while listening to jazz I recorded, over those South Park episodes, and i am old enough to be your grandfather.

 
At 6/05/2005 07:33:00 PM, Blogger Tina said...

Oh Sam, you haven't lived until you drive a high power car with stick shift up a winding mountain road. There is no feeling quite like it!

 
At 6/05/2005 10:28:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Rob Thomas! Love him!

Tell us how you almost died.

-Daphne

 
At 6/05/2005 11:54:00 PM, Anonymous ruth said...

Sam,

ossification is what happened to the dinosaurier bones - they turned to stone and endured million of years.

Jeff,

strange as it might appear there is life even in middle age and with a standard job (mine is 8 to 5).

 
At 6/06/2005 09:25:00 AM, Blogger Brian H said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6/06/2005 09:26:00 AM, Blogger Brian H said...

ruth:
Not only are there no such things as "dinosauriers", what you describe is fossilization. Ossification is "turning into bone", not "turning into stone".

Sandmoron;
you have other grammar errors in your list, too. But it's probably too mentally challenging for you to find them.

:D

Are you as lumb as you dook?

 
At 6/06/2005 01:11:00 PM, Anonymous Dagusha said...

People like Brian H,Ruth and Caroline should try to smile or include fun in their lives. What is so wrong about Sandmonkey posting something light about himself?.

I bet you, you guys are dressed in dark colors,live in brown houses and you are hateful looking at all times.

Bunch of old farts! I feel sorry for you that you are as old as "dinosauriers" and have no sense of humor!

 
At 6/06/2005 04:47:00 PM, Anonymous Caroline said...

My my, what an elevated and enlightening discussion this is. But then again, what does one expect from someone who calls himself "sandmonkey"? Where I come from, that's called...racism.

 
At 6/06/2005 06:03:00 PM, Anonymous dagusha said...

Racisim hahaha! you mean the slavery that was going on up to mid 50's.

If you talk about racism you might as well rinse your mouth with bleach before you post here.

 
At 6/07/2005 04:56:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Brian H: you are probably right. What can i say, english is after all only my third language ( I speak 4 , currently learning a 5th and understand another 2). So let me bow down to your superior ability of finding grammatical errors in posts written-by a foreigner mind you- in your mother tongue and possibly the only language you speak.

Seriously man, how do you do it?

Caroline, baby,ehh, who exactly are you accusing of racism?? Me? i am being racist against myself? And says who? You? Oh, ok. That makes sense! You are soo smart!

 
At 6/07/2005 06:11:00 AM, Anonymous Caroline said...

"Baby"? So not only are you a racist, but a sexist as well. I'm sorry you don't understand my comment.

It's been interesting passing by here. Good luck to you in your adventures of desperately trying to prove to the world (and yourself?) how "smart" you are.

 
At 6/07/2005 07:58:00 AM, Anonymous dagusha said...

Caroline,

Don't miss the sign it says "sod off" not exit, Don't forget to close the door behind you. I can see you need help with directions and comprehension.

Hint Hint Brian H and Ruth....

 
At 6/07/2005 09:12:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Caroline: But why Baby? we are just starting to have fun! you are such a tease!

LOL

Dagusha, why are they so easy to piss off? Some people have no sense of humor left! At least Brian was trying!

 
At 10/20/2005 03:24:00 PM, Blogger Nicole said...

Oh if people only knew how true this list is ....

 
At 11/16/2005 06:37:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude you fucking rock my socks - - - I want to know how you have attended 2, let alone one exorcism...how does one go about doing this?

 
At 12/15/2005 07:11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My goodness, you sound like my evil twin. Except I prefer Family Guy to the Simpsons, CAN drive stick shift and bellydance instead of line dance. Other than that, the similarities are terrifying...although I suspect my ego may be even bigger than yours.

 
At 2/06/2006 12:23:00 PM, Anonymous elle21 said...

71, 75, 84, 91 sound familiar to me
(30 unfortunately does that too *g*)

33- knowing that you don't know me, i doubt that, definitely ;)

 
At 2/18/2006 10:21:00 AM, Anonymous Miss Leigh said...

I think you sound awesome. Some people have no sense of humor! ;)

 
At 2/23/2006 04:07:00 PM, Blogger Kickers said...

Here's the real test:

WB TV shows are awesome because of:

a) Smallville, Supernatural, Angel (rip), Buffy (rip), Charmed

b) Everwood, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, Dawson's Creek (rip), Realted, 7th Heaven

Look out for Pepper Dennis and The Bedford Diaries coming soon.

 
At 3/02/2006 09:35:00 AM, Blogger K-2 said...

How is a muslim exorcism?, I thought catholic were the only ones who had them.

 
At 3/04/2006 03:39:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

read abaut Wafa Sultan
search google

 
At 3/31/2006 03:22:00 AM, Blogger KareemFromEgypt said...

61) My ideal way to die is to die when i am 82 years old on the hands of a jealous husband.

your husband?
why would you marry a jealous guy sam?

sorry, bad attempt at humor

 
At 4/16/2006 12:44:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a typical Gemini to me.

-Pheras

 
At 5/29/2006 07:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has been a year since you posted your list of 100 things about you. Has anything changed in that year?

 
At 8/03/2006 09:44:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"7) I've only met 2 people in my life that were smarter then me, and one of them is dead now."

Smarter than I.

 
At 9/22/2006 05:58:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

61) My ideal way to die is to die when i am 82 years old on the hands of a jealous husband.

if you learned how to drive stick, you could probably get away and live another 3 years at least.

 
At 1/19/2008 02:33:00 PM, Anonymous ito said...

Brian H, lumb should be dumb and dook should be look. Please learn your own language sunny.

Dear ape, that list is indeed amusing. May your 82 years of life be enough and full of near misses with jealous husbands!

Caroline, he said he has big feet.

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home