Jordan is angry, Al Qaeda explains

The Jordanians are furious over their hotel bombings by Al Qaeda, so furious that they have taken on the streets in protest to Al Qaeda, demanding that it goes to hell. No, for real. Thousands of Jordanians rallied in the capital and other cities shouting "Burn in hell, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi!" a day after three deadly hotel bombings that killed at least 59 people. As protesters in Jordan and elsewhere in the Arab world denounced the Jordanian-born leader of al-Qaida in Iraq, security forces snared a group of Iraqis for questioning and officials said one of the bombers spoke Iraqi-accented Arabic before he exploded his suicide belt in the Grand Hyatt Hotel. The main demonstration in Amman lasted for more than an hour. But honking vehicles, decorated with Jordanian flags and posters of King Abdullah II, cruised Amman's streets until late in the night, as passengers chanted "Death to al-Zarqawi, the villain and the traitor!" and anti-terrorism slogans. About 50 people, including Jordanian children holding tiny flags, placed candles on a makeshift sand memorial in the driveway of the Hyatt. Al Qaeda was so preplexed by the reaction, that for the first time ever, they issued an explanation: Earlier Thursday, the group posted a Web statement claiming responsibility for Wednesday's attacks. Then a second al-Qaida statement appeared on the Internet "to explain for Muslims part of the reason holy warriors targeted these dens." That statement appeared after Arab-wide expressions of outrage. This should be good. "Let all know that we have struck only after becoming confident that they are centers for launching war on Islam and support the crusaders' presence in Iraq and the Arab peninsula and the presence of the Jews on the land of Palestine," the group said. The statement said the hotels that were hit were "favorite places for the work of the intelligence organs, especially those of the Americans, the Israelis and some western European countries" for what the group called "invisible battles in the so-called war on terrorism." Ahh, ok. So the war on terrorism was being conducted from the Radisson. Who knew? The statement also said the hotels, the Grand Hyatt, the Radisson SAS and the Days Inn, were used by NATO as a rear base "from which the convoys of the crusaders and the renegades head back and forth to the land of Iraq where Muslims are killed and their blood is shed." Ehh....emm... BY YOU YOU NIMRODS. YOU ARE THE ONES KLILLING MUSLIMS YOU GODDAMN MORONS. So far you have killed like 25 times more muslims there then you've had americans. You did that. You. Ehh..nevermind. And now for some moral hand-wringing... Striking a moral tone, the al-Qaida manifesto said the hotels were a "secure place for the filthy Israeli and Western tourists to spread corruption and adultery at the expense and suffering of the Muslims in these countries." At the expense and suffering? Aren't the tourists the ones who are bringing the money in? And who is suffering exactly from the existance of the hotels? I know who will be that those Hotels are destroyed: the employees in the hotel, the workers in Jordan touristic industry establishments, you know, those muslims. Or aren't those muslims? I am so confused. And now for the sweet farewell note: Warning that Wednesday's attacks would pale by comparison, the statement promised "catastrophic" assaults in the future. "Let everyone know that we will never hesitate in targeting these places wherever they are... . By God, we have never noticed them caring when they shed the blood of Muslims and rape the honor of the decent women," the statement said. So we will kill them. Because they don''t care about our problems, those damn westerners and their insensetive minding of their own business. Because they don't care, we will destory their hotels and kill them on their vacations. Then they will care. Oh yes they will. They will care enough to demand that we get hunted down like dogs and killed by any means necessary. That may not be what's in our best interest, but at least they will care again. They will have feelings for us. Is it just me or is Al Qaeda starting to sound like that crazy ex-girlfriend who will kidnap you and torture you so you can love her again? Oh well...