TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
(Me and Andrea talking at her place) Andrea: So, they are arresting people who they suspect of smoking weed. Me: Yep. Andrea: So, should we like, get rid of the 3 Kilos of weed we brought back with us from Sinai last week? Cause, you know, that would suck! Me: Nahh, I see no need. You are a pretty American girl, the police would never bother you or arrest you. They would then have to deal with your embassy and that will be too much of a headache. They generally don’t bother foreigners, especially Americans, in Egypt about anything, so you have nothing to worry about really. Andrea: Wait, that’s right. I forgot about that. That’s why that cop let me go after that car accident. Sweet! I love being an American in your country. Get all the special treatment and shit. So, tell me Sam, how does it feel to be a second class citizen in your own country? Me: I dunno Andrea, how does it feel to be female in a male dominated world? Andrea: Not bad at all actually. As you said, I am pretty, so I usually get things my way! Can you say the same about yourself? Me: You know something? I hate you. You suck. Go away! Andrea: Heheheheheheehe! Awwww. Poor baby! Hehehe!
( Me and My mom and her driver Hassan talking yesterday) Hassan: Did I tell you Ma’am? My son Mohamed has just finished memorizing the Koran. He now memorized the whole thing. Mom: Aww. That’s great to hear Hassan. Mabrook (Congratulations). Me: Mabrook Hassan. Say, isn’t Mohamed only 8 years old? Hassan: No no, he is not 8 years old. He is 6 years old. I got him started on memorizing the Koran when he was 5. Me: Really? 6 years old you say and memorized the whole Koran? That’s very impressive! Hassan: Thank you sir. You know, they say whoever memorized the whole Koran , angels come and kiss his eyes when he is asleep. Me: That’s great Hassan. Now tell me something. Did he understand what he memorized? Mom (Softly while giving me the “what the hell are you doing” look): Saaam! Hassan ( confused): What mr. Sam? What do you mean? Me: Well, I was just wondering, since he memorized the whole Koran, did he understand what he memorized? You know, what the suras mean and everything? Hassan ( amused at how naïve I am): No of course not mr. Sam. He is only 6 years old. Of course he doesn’t understand what he memorized means. Me: Well, then I have a question for you. Which is better: Memorizing something or understanding it? ( My mom squeezed my leg in an indication to stop) Hassan: Well, understanding it of course. If you memorize something and you don’t understand it, then what’s the point? You would be like a parrot. Me ( mumbling to my self): Well at least its good that you realize that! Hassan: Huh? Did you say something sir? Me: Me? Nahh. Nope, Hassan. Didn’t say a thing! ( Mom hits my leg with her hand) Me: OWWWW!
( Later on that day) Mom: You better watch out what you say in public Sam. Some things you can not just talk about the way you do. They would get you in trouble, especially these days! Me: Yes Mom. Mom: Cause if you don’t watch out one day you will be kidnapped and I won’t even know where you will be imprisoned, let alone get you out! Me: Ok mom, I will do exactly as you say. Mom: Good boy! I always said you were.. Me (interrupting here and continuing): From this day on I will continue letting fear dictate my life like the rest of you. Mom: Youhhh, talking to you is pointless.
Ahh, the sordid life I lead!