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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, May 15, 2005

The Lindsay Lohan cocaine diet

You know, one of ex's used to tell me how much she wanted to do cocaine, not because she wanted to get coked up, but because it will help her lose weight. Cocaine, she would tell me, is an appetite depressent, so it helps you not to eat as much, thus lose weight. She waxed poetic on how it's easier then working out and less messy then her favorite method of losing weight : throwing up. The only problem with the cocaine diet, she would lament, is that it's too damn expensive. I told her that she was stupid and nuts and i dumped her wondering what in the world was i thinking dating a sorrority chick. Well, apparently, i was wrong. She was on to something. I came to that conclusion after seeing what a few months of a reported coke habit has done to Lindsay Lohan. Check out her pics before habit, and how she looks like now ( And yes, that's Nicole Richie standing next to her, who seems to be following the same diet) . Don't they look fantastic now? I personally could stand to lose a few pounds myself and after seeing what Hohan, i mean Lohan, looks like i feel rather inspired. If anyone knows the # of a really good coke-dealer in Egypt e-mail it to me. I gotta get skinny for the summer. You know?

51 Comments:

At 5/15/2005 03:03:00 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

I have this friend...he said it was fun for about 45 minutes until you absolutely need more.

I know a American guy who teaches English in Cairo. He told me he was crossing the Israeli-Egyptian border with acid. It was a hot day. The border guard, hands sweating, found the sheets and started rubbing them all over his hands then gave him back to the teacher. Poor bastard.

If you want to borrow the Sin City bootleg, e-mail me.

 
At 5/24/2005 09:45:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

they both look discusting now are you kidding me.they look freekin anerxic or something.its all right to be skinny and all but dam!!they went to far (way to far).they were both beautiful woman befor they went on the diet.they look better then,then they do now.now they just look sick.and the whole cocane diet what the hell is that.you must be crazy do you know what that stuff does to your body and voice.then you get hooked and of course your saying now it wont be me,but you will regret it because it can and wil hurt your body.who do i care,im just a stupid ex-fan that acually cared.

 
At 5/25/2005 04:21:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it is absolutely sick that you think that they look good now and bad before. I doubt it is even cocaine, that looks so glamorous and obvoiusly idots like yourself buy into it and think that it is a great way to lose weight She is anorexic and needs to get help before it gets bad. I have a friend who is battling an eating disorder and lohan and richie look fat compared to her. That is what the disease has done to her body, so maybe you should stop and think for a minute before saying stupid shit like that without knowing the slightest bit of what you are saying.

 
At 5/28/2005 02:25:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

People, the cocaine diet thing was a joke. Chill out.

And yes, i know all about eating disorders, trust me: I have dated sorrority sisters and cheerleaders. I even know the difference between Bulimic skinny and anorexic skinny ( For those of you who don't know: Bulimic skinny looks healthy, but your teeth rot).

But yeah, she got anorexic, but how did it happen? She last a huge amount of weight pretty damn fast, and I know a couple of girls who did that through cocaine. Given the accounts on her cocaine use, well, it was an educated guess. I could've gone with the Heroin theory, especially that it also causes weight loss and nicole ritchie was arrested with heroin posession before, but i figured i shouldn't go as far as the H-Bomb on poor Lindsey. You know?

 
At 6/06/2005 05:28:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriosly,Don't you have nothing else to do w your life besides worry about what Lindsay is doing?
It's not like she is your friend,and you are worried about her...it looks like you are jealous...
because she looks amazing skinny,she have money and who really cares about what other people do in their private life...
Get over it...She is HOT!!!

 
At 6/11/2005 03:26:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i would do any of those whores for free

 
At 6/14/2005 10:35:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My best friend saw Lindsay Lohan at a party on sunset last night and said that she was completely coked up and so were most of the other girls from Mean Girls. So that confirms the coke habit. Personnally, I think she looks like shit now and she looked flawless before with boobs and gorgeous red hair.

 
At 6/26/2005 11:47:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im friends with a girl who went to high school with lindsay and she said she had a $500 a week habit even then, shes even been to partys seeing lindsay and johnny knoxville doing lines together

 
At 6/28/2005 10:36:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

look up at the top y does lindsay lohan have a lighter in one of the pictures?

 
At 7/01/2005 07:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's wrong with cocaine?
personally, i love the stuff.

 
At 7/10/2005 12:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

um because coke sucks anyone who does it is an idiot. Stick to the green stuff is my motto.

 
At 7/26/2005 02:24:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She's totally doin cocaine, and no she does not look beautiful she looks GROSS. This is America/Canada, not ETHIOPIA. And people there have an excuse to look like that, whats hers??

 
At 8/08/2005 12:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know people who have used this so called coacine diet and let me tell you once they finally did get off the stuff, like 3 years later because they became addicted, it took them about 3 weeks to gain back every pound and then some. It is not the way to diet. It can kill people especially thoose who are not rich and famous, once they run out of money for it and realize they have a problem quitting the stuff.

 
At 8/18/2005 03:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everyone has a COMMENT about someone else these days, maybe she is an ex of yours cause she doesnt like small penis! If she does use coke more than occas it will catch up with her & she will overcome. Its all about moderation!

 
At 9/02/2005 12:30:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

just saw a replay of leno tonight with america's sweetheart promoting herbie... her body trembled, her eyes were glazed, and her lower jaw moved from side-to-side... poor girl has a serious coke problem and might also be on pills... hope she gets help or ends up in rehab because she looks pretty sick

 
At 10/12/2005 11:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

been there..done that..
going on a small cocaine diet..to lose 10lbs wuts the big deal
i know ive done it
i havnt touched the shit in 2months
i lost 30lbs in 2 months and its not like i used it everyday not even every second day maybe once a week..
ya its unhealthy but it made me feel better about myself
if u can keep tha cocaine undercontroll than leave lindsay lohan and nicole richie and whoever the fuck else alone.. like im sure they each have somone in they're life tellin them that they care and are trying to help them.. and somtimes thats all u need is ONE person to love u and never give up on u.. trust me i know i've expierenced it all..ya addictions r shitty..but they got tha money to go to rehab and if they're addicted they're most likely fuckd 4 life unless thay get outta the business they're in and hav no connections no temptations..

 
At 10/20/2005 01:48:00 PM, Blogger justjon said...

HHHHmmm
im thinking of doing some coke i wanna do it for the high more than anything , but the losing weight seems great,
i think if you are sensible with it you can control the need for more . thats just my thought anyways

 
At 11/06/2005 10:39:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

more americans need to get thier asses on coke anyway. the country is being overrun by obese bastards. quit hatin' on skinny girls, put the big mac down and find urself a dealer.

 
At 11/14/2005 06:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, cocaine is very expensive. For $20.00, you can get a tiny bit of it. I bought some a few nights ago, did the whole bag, about 2 grams, and nothing happened. Snorting that much was said to be "an overdode', but I did it and nothing happened. I didnt feel anything. And it does not make you loose that much weight, it depends on the person. I'm sure Lindsay and Nicole got that way the old fashion way: diet, excercise, and plastic surgery. and probably a lot of puking in between.

 
At 12/06/2005 05:21:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

alright, just clearing everything up, shes not anorexic, she gets food fed to her and goes to dinners and shit all day, she attends, but she doesnt eat..you know why? not b.c shes holding off, but because shes not hungry, b.c shes snorting the cane before every meal. trust me, people that arnt users dont understand how this drug works, YOUR NEVER HUNGRY. if you do a little before breakfast, alittle before lunch, and a little b4 dinner, you NEVER eat. shes a coke addict and shes proud...


peaacee

 
At 12/06/2005 05:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

okayyy, now coke is a very VERY good way to lose weight, but let me finish something- NO ONE is sensible enough to controll how much you want it, for the high, for the sex, for the weightloss, you SEE progress and you LIKE it, so you keep using. no one is this invinsible figure. BUTTT its not terrrrible to be addicted. i mean yeah, the comedowns get bad, REAL bad- but your always okay in the morning. the real control issue is if you can control the comedowns. but for real, if your gonna start using, space out the days that you use, its really important- youre either addicted or not, aka- your either sane, or crazy....i love it though ;)

 
At 12/15/2005 04:40:00 PM, Anonymous the painted waif said...

cocaine is a dangerous drug, but there comes a time in life when you realize thet everybody has their vices. cocaine, if you can have some and not do it, it a great way to get through the morning shifts, lose some weight and acquire that "je ne sais quoi" that affects cocaine users, a chic that is something unto itself. my freshman year i tried to imitate it, but as soon as i blew that first line, i understood what i struggled against for years. i must say, the drug completed me in so many ways.

you cannot understand until you have done it, and then forever be of two minds.

enter the matrix.

 
At 1/06/2006 10:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get a life people... and OFF the drugs.

 
At 1/07/2006 10:03:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

coke is GREAT Drug shut up above

 
At 1/09/2006 11:32:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've totally done (and am still doing) the cocaine diet. I average about 3.5 grams a day (so an 8-ball). Anyways, that's exactly what Lindsay and Nicole are doing. I mean, I thank god right now that I'm not a celebrity because coke is being blown out of proportion by the media. My motto is, if you don't have the money, don't do it. Doing too much is dangerous, so you have to be moderate. I was reading that lindsay was on illegal diet pills and cocaine...THIS IS SOOO DANGEROUS! I just say, once you fall in love with the white lady, it's hard to leave her. Anyways, i've lost over fifty pounds in less than a month, and I stopped for 3 months, and barely gained any weight. Coke makes you hate food, kinda sad, but that's what happens.

It's just learning to control how much you do that's important. Overdosing is not a pretty sight. Thankfully after 4 years of the diet, i've never had any problems.

Try it...it opens up a new world, and you'll love it! Let it take you away!

 
At 1/11/2006 12:39:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanna try coke just to feel the high a lose a few pounds

 
At 1/11/2006 12:40:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

same person as above how much does it cost?

 
At 1/12/2006 08:44:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the cost depends on where you live. for me its 50 dollars a gram which is on the higher end here, but its definitely worth the price. i usually average a gram a night

 
At 1/13/2006 09:47:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what many times do you have to take it a day to like lose weight and how high do you stay for? same person that asked how much it cost

 
At 1/14/2006 10:58:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really ppl, they are not hot!They look like ants. With the big head and small body, especially Nicole. Loosing weight is easy just reduce your calorie intake and exercise. Anyhow if your really desprete to loose weight I hear red bull helps and that wont distroy your body. Imagine lohan and nicole in like 20 years, if they dont have plastic sugery, ewwwwwww. lets no follow in same footsteps.

 
At 1/14/2006 04:11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

... Like I said how much do I have to take a day to lose weight

 
At 1/16/2006 10:43:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

all you have to do is rail a fat line, or a few little ones, and you will have no appetite..only thing is, after that first line, even if you think you just want to do it to lose weight and you dont really "like" the drug, you will definitely want more as soon as the feeling dissapates. It's one of the most addicting drugs there is. Remember that moderation is key, dont get carried away.

I have a once a month limit on cocaine, and it works fine. You can control it if you want to, but I can definitely see how easy it would be to get carried away with the shit. I havent heard many people say that they don't like coke, and if they do, it's mainly because they are afraid of getting addicted. So be careful!!! and $50/gram...$150/8-ball (3.5g) is about average for legit shit. that's another thing though- These days you really don't know what you are putting up your nose..99% of the shit out there is cut with god knows what. Consider all the variables.

P.S.- what ever happened to losing weight the old-fashioned way?! (Excersize)...Seems almost non-existant in this day and age. Kinda sad...

 
At 1/17/2006 02:43:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How mucdo you have to take to get adicted to coke? who wants to lose weight that way wen u can go on coke lol

 
At 1/18/2006 05:27:00 PM, Anonymous ALLison said...

i agree with u i think their on cocaine and oh well if they wanna do it thay can and they get away with it.... and all of yall sorry little bitches that have something against it well thats just becuz u dont have a life and honestly u say u wont do it now but u just wait until u get around it.... see u l8ter coc. heads

 
At 1/23/2006 07:27:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i used to be a coke addict. i did lose weight, but it wasnt worth the other side effects: depression, being anti-social, etc. i wouldnt wish cocaine on my worst enemy.

 
At 1/23/2006 07:59:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on it cant be THAT bad I hear its fun. I wanna try it to get high feel it and LOSE WEIGHT

 
At 1/23/2006 01:09:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo does any one know where I can buy coke in madrid spain... Im here and I realli want some coke tonite

 
At 1/30/2006 08:13:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

2 u all i cant believe how little you all r,did you ever live w a real addict. do you know how disgusting,it makes a person.even if you quit coke personality altered ego,antisocial piece of shit stays.get a life guys,who cares how much you weigh,when u r healty,if u do coke 2 lose weight, i think u have 2 come back to this site n read what u wrote when ur in total shit..coke fucks ur frontal lobe forever. is it worth it?THINK AGAIN:PRETTY N PIECE OF SHIT_A LITTLE HEAVY AND A REAL PERSON WITH A HEART SOUL MIND ~PLEASE DONT

 
At 1/31/2006 09:57:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE ARE ADVOCATING DRUG USE.

COCAINE EATS AWAY AT YOUR BRAIN CAUSING DAMAGE

THAT MIGHT NOT SHOW UP FOR YEARS IN ADVANCE.

DO NOT RISK YOUR LIFE & BRAIN TO BE THIN.

THERE IS MUCH MORE TO LIFE THAN THE SHALLOW

PERSPECTIVES VOICED ON THIS BLOG. EDUCATE

YOURSELVES PEOPLE!!!

 
At 2/03/2006 06:26:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What if you just did K instead? It's cheaper.. and it's affects are a bit different.

I did a bump of coke once when I was already high on K. I couldn't even tell the difference.. all I know is the coke was much much smoother.

 
At 2/04/2006 09:29:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello all you druggie-losers! Enjoy your short pathetic existance!

 
At 2/07/2006 01:33:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im 13 and I want to try coke, what ever I can do it I have the money for it so why not and I get to lose weight. If you ask me thats hot

 
At 2/17/2006 01:29:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lohan used to be so fine I woulda sucked on her titties back then but now she looks like a fucking granny shit. Yeah, go and blame it on cocaine but i beat she be poppin speed too and I bet she beat vomiting her alcohol and coke cuz she has nothing in her fucking stomach. Also here a fucking quarter of coke is 20$. But you can get 3 grams and a half for like 160$. So if anyone interested I aint got it could accidently be on the floor infront of me and you can accidently drop the money and I can accidently take it. If you aint got no money then I can accidently poke your eye with a knife.

 
At 3/03/2006 11:11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coke is a fucked up drug... I've done it a few times and the high is out of this world, yes. I love the stuff, yes. The only thing that is absolutely brutal for me is the comedown, you honestly feel like there is no hope for you, your paranoid and unhappy and all you wanna do is sleep and never see anyone again for a good few hours. So, in regards to a weight loss method... stick to diet and exercise... Leave the yayo for special occasions, okay guys :)
peace.

 
At 3/03/2006 11:55:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its her life. I mean the effects of shit like this is known to even the most uneducated moron on the face of the Earth. Frankly I feel sorry for her. I mean wasting God given beauty. Also for you guys advocating this shit, seriously are you that bored with you lives? Nicole Richie has always been ugly and looked like an Chihuahua dog, but lindsay lohan was just hot. Also if it is her destiny to follow the Elvis way, then so be it. wtf can we do!

 
At 3/04/2006 07:12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want to try some coke, i want to lose guess i have to get it from a fren, do it the hollywood way!!!

 
At 3/12/2006 11:38:00 PM, Blogger The Kitteh said...

Cocaine.

Damn, that shit is awesome. About 10 minutes after you snort it, though, you'll be itching for another line.

If Lindsay's doing it to loose weight, then more power to her. She can afford it. I wish I were in her position.

I don't exactly identify with the horrible coke comedown. As long as you're not just naturally depressed, the comedown only makes you feel slightly uncomfortable. Oh, and you crave more coke. Not, like crazy crave it, more like, "damn, I could probably do another line right now." Often, I feel a bit disappointed that it's wearing off but I eventually accept that the fun's over and move on for the night.

Cocaine isn't really all that bad, either. The high isn't overwhelming. Like the way taking pills gives you like a heavy high. Like a gigantic weight of numbed-out happiness has been draped on top of you. It's the lightest high, that's probably why so many people like it. It makes you feel super-happy, confident, energetic, sociable--in such an awesome way. As if all that energy comes from within, as if you hadn't taken the drug at all; as if you just naturally feel that good, like you cannot remember ever feeling any different.

<3

 
At 4/04/2006 07:45:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if the bitches wanna get skeeted-- LET EM SKEET. i'm presently trying to control my habit, and it has been pretty easy so far- going from every day to once every two weeks. i used to work out and run everyday before i started using white and smoking cigs. i completely stopped all that-- picked up a couple new habbits, n what do ya know? i've lost ten pounds n have never looked more L.A. maybe i've looked more healthy though... whatever, i'm having a good time and at least i'm not getting wasted n doing stupid shit. those girls have the money to do it and as long as they don't ruin there lives, which is highly likely-- power to them!!!!

 
At 4/04/2006 07:48:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

to the girl said she doesn't identify with the horrible coke comedown-- it comes with repeated use. i didn't have bad comedowns the first few months i was using, but now i can't make it through with out xanies or somas or something. trust me baby, it will come. unfortunately :(

 
At 4/04/2006 07:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

by the way guys--- nasal membrane doesn't grow back. once it starts endin up in ur tissues-- SWITCH NOSTRILS.

friendly word to the wise.

 
At 4/05/2006 03:29:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i started using coke on the la party scene when 1 was 17. and now being 18 i am amazed i lived to see my 18th birthday. yeah it made me lose weight and i looked totally hot but it seriosly almost destroyed my entire life. what started as casual occasional use quickly turned into a full blown everyday habit. if you can control the shit fine whatever im not here to judge, but unfortunatly many people cannot and if you have even the slightest bit of an addictive personality id say steer clear of the shit.none of you should condone and recommend it thats for damn sure. i had to leave la for a couple of months to get off that shit. i was doing about an 8 ball a day and if i hadn't stopped it would of for sure quickly killed me. i didnt have anyone to keep my ass straight at the time but hopefully lindsay does. in less then a year i went from a healthy teenager that liked to sneak into clubs and have an occasional long island to a full blown drug addict. i was extremely lucky to come out of it alive even with a hole in my nose. im not gonna say "DONT EVER DO IT!!!!" cause i mean im realistic and i know people are gonna do what theyr'e gonna do but just be careful. unfortunatly alot of people aren't as lucky as i am and if ANY good at all can come out of my past drugging i like to give advice to anyone i can.

 

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