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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Monday, May 09, 2005

Islamic reformists are apostates!

Just in case you didn't get that memo, apparently anyone asking for Islamic reform is immediately and technically an apostate. Nope, it's not a Mullah or a mufti who issued this glorious fatwa this time, it's the fellow Egyptian journalist Rim Azmi whose article "Muslims in Name, Apostates in Fact," ran in the weekly Al Ahram El Ararby. I thought it was such a great informative article - it made me realize that i am a western wannabe asskissing apostate- that i figured i should post some paragraphs and leave some comments of my own. Shall we? Allright! Here we go: They aren't Westerners and they have not attained this honor in the eyes of the West, however, the West embraced them, not out of love for them, but rather in order to denigrate Islam. The West found in them that which they have long sought, because they were brought up in the land of Islam and they fully understand how to hurt its people. Since these people found no rest in their own countries, the West welcomed them, opening their arms to them so that they could continue to rain poison arrows down on the true faith [i.e., Islam]. Ahh, the west is against Islam conspiracy. What a way to start the article; what a great classic opener. So the West welcomes "those people" in even though they don't really like them, in order to make Islam look bad. Ok, but i am kind of wondering, what kind of special knowledge do those people who were brought up in the land of Islam have that gives them that superior knowledge and skill to hurt the people of Islam? I am guessing its something they were either taught, or experienced , or viewed, or all three combined. Right? If that's the case, then is it just me or is she admitting that such weaknesses or negative aspects do exist in Islam that allow it to be attacked? Is she saying that God's true faith has weaknesses that can be exploited to attack it to the degree that such attack is compared to "Poison arrows"? Hmm, must be just me. You encounter a long list of those who call themselves Islamic thinkers. These people put themselves above the divine message, and their arrogance deludes them into thinking that they can act as equals with the overpowering miracle of the Koran. Thus, they strongly demand a rereading of the Koran, or what is an even greater crime, they demand that one listen to those who offer a new allegorical interpretation of the religious text. Leading this group of academics is the Egyptian Nasr Hamid Abu-Zayd, who published his book Critique of Religious Discourse and then hurried to the Netherlands, after having encountered a series of problems on account of his publications. Ehh, the series of problems she is referring to so lightly are - in case you didn't know- as follows: The man wrote a couple of publications re-interpreting the Koran, which didn't go well with a bunch of Islamist lawyers who filed a lawsuit against him to separate him and his wife on the account that his writing makes him a Kafir (Infidel) and Islam states that no Muslim Woman can be married to a Kafir, so they must be separated by law. If you think that was bad, check this out: the lawyers won that lawsuit! He and his wife- the whore who didn't wish to be separated from her infidel husband- fled the country to the Netherlands, where they still live there till this day. Those, ladies and gentlemen, are the "series of problems" this man encountered on account of his publication. Yep, if i were to describe what he had to go through, i would also use the same term that can be used to describe a fight with a publisher or a bankruptcy suit. I mean hey, who of us didn't get sued by a bunch of strangers to have our marriage annulled and our significant other forcibly separated from us? Personally, i think that whole thing was just over-hyped and blown out of proportion for such an everyday occurrence. Don't you think? And there are others, less well known, who try to use Islam to aggrandize themselves. Their method is almost always the same: they rely on endless discussions and a maze of disputes that in the end lead nowhere. Their purpose is to invent a version of Islam in accordance with the latest fashions, which will be consistent with the rhythm of contemporary Western civilization. Yes, they lead to nowhere, cause as you know, you can't win against "cause god said so". And she is right about the whole latest western fashions thing: We all know that the whole women should be covered and stoned to death, and men should be whipped for committing idolatry and get their hands cut off for stealing thing is passé in the west, but is still considerd "In" around here. That's the only reason why they demand women equality and a stop to women honor killing: they are the latest fads from the west, you know, like hip huggers, and nose rings. I say if we keep things the way they are, fads like giving women the right to vote and treating them equally are bound to stop being in vogue eventually and the whole world will return to the whole "keep them in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant" fad, in which case, we will be on the cutting edge of that fashion trend. It will be better for us on the long run, i am sure! And there is also the Somali woman who was behind the killing of the Dutch director [Van Gogh] whose story we followed at the end of 2004. She is a conservative member of the Dutch parliament of Somali origin named Ayaan Hirshi Ali, and the author of the novel Submission, from which her late friend, the Dutch director Theo Van Gogh, derived the film which offends both Islam and Muslims and which angered the Muslims. A second part of the movie [was planned], if not for the fact that he was killed by a 26-year-old Moroccan immigrant. Yes, it's a good thing that he was killed before he made another movie that muslims find offensive, cause , you know, muslims have such fragile egos and self-esteem, and another one of those movies were bound to get half of the world muslim population- who will somehow watch this movie- all depressed and we would have to give away prozac and zoloft in mosques. Thank god that moroccan immigrant killed him. That Immigrant is of course Rim's personal hero, and she probably would demand that he gets acquitted and declared innocent on the account of being under "extenuating circumstances" when he shot Van Gogh and then slit his throat and then stuck a Knife with a piece of paper that declared a Jihad on the US, Europe and the Netherlands in his body. You gotta understand that he didn't really mean any of that; he was just under a lot of stress! Mimount, who complains to the Dutch [ sic, should be Belgian] police that she is being threatened, is playing the same game at which others before her excelled, namely, using insolence [against Islam] in order to gain fame at the expense of Islam, and then rushing to portray herself as a victim of narrow-minded people, having received some threats against her life. So Mimount had it coming? Wow Rim, you should be a rape counselor. Never mind that she is a Somali immigrant that managed to get elected and become a member of the Dutch Parliament , something that is just not possible at all in her country of origin. Never mind that. She just wanted to gain some fame on the expense of Islam and if she gets killed, it’s her own damn fault for being Insolent against Islam. And whoever is sending her death threats is not narrow-minded or fanatical at all: That's just being a good Muslim, at least according to Rim's definition of Islam that is. You know something Rim, somehow i don’t think the west will need to embrace any of those "Anti-Islam- western-wannabes" to "defame" or "attack" Islam. Nope, not with you around. You are doing a bang up job all on your own kiddo. Kudos on a job well done babe. As an anti-islam-apostate-western-wannabe-zionist-agent, I salute you! You sure make my job easy! Your biggest fan, Sam The Sandmonkey


At 5/09/2005 06:14:00 AM, Blogger egyptiansally said...

Good post.

I'm sick and tired of people not understanding that re-interpreting the quran isn't re-writing it. Abu-Zayed's case was really awful. And the fact that the rest of the population agreed with the Islamist lawyers just goes to show how warped everyone's thinking is.

This is what I can't stand about Egypt sometimes: the utter refusal (and persecution) of multiple viewpoints. People are still operating under the belief of an absolute truth. For example, reports on Palestinian and Iraqi suicide bombers plainly call them "martyrs." Oh, really? And how did you all come to that conclusion? Did you speak to God and verify this?

Sorry, went on a rant there....

Once again, good post.

At 5/09/2005 07:34:00 AM, Anonymous DNA said...

Current Islamic though:

'You can have any colour you want, as long as it's black.'

At 5/09/2005 07:44:00 AM, Anonymous Don Cox said...

"their arrogance deludes them into thinking that they can act as equals with the overpowering miracle of the Koran. " Do these people worship God, or a book? From my point of view, the biggest weakness of Islam is the mindless idolatry of the Quran. It is comparable to the near-worship of the "virgin Mary" by Catholics. Didn't Mohammed say you should think?

At 5/09/2005 07:59:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you put your finger on the problem during the "interview". They all need to get laid.


At 5/09/2005 09:41:00 AM, Anonymous Don Cox said...

"They all need to get laid."


At 5/09/2005 10:30:00 AM, Anonymous Don Cox said...

Maybe some of this too: http://www.iranian.com/NaderDavoodi/2005/May/Canada/1.html

At 5/09/2005 05:06:00 PM, Blogger gatorbait said...

The Moroccans I know, those who bother with the politics , cannot understand why the VanGogh's murderer is being lionized. Of course ,they have some problems with certain of their fellow Arabs ,too, though the A.P.U is active there as well, sort of in that, oh yeah.. kinda way.

At 5/09/2005 06:23:00 PM, Blogger Rancher said...

I still can't understand women that defend the subjugation of women under Islam. Yes it is good and just that a woman’s testimony equals 1/4 of a man’s, yes it is good and just that a disobedient woman should be beaten, yes it is good and just that a woman that has brought dishonor on a man should be killed.

At 5/09/2005 08:05:00 PM, Blogger J. Francis Lehman said...

I concur with the "nookie and doobage" prescription for Islamists.

Heck, I concur with it for me, too, while I'm at it! :)


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