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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Now that's a Party

If you are a british reader and you are confused about which party to vote for today, then allow me to recommend to you the one party that makes sense: The OMRLP a.k.a. The Official Monster Raving Looney Party. Here are a couple of their policies in case you are not familiar with them: Economic Policy: Our team of experts has decided that Income Tax has not proved popular with the public and will therefore be abolished. It was started in order to finance the Napoleonic war in 1799 and we now believe that the time is right to announce the cessation of hostilities with Napoleon. We will issue a 99p coin to save on change. The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND. Education Policies: In the interests of fair education policy, under a loony government all children will automatically be given full marks in their exams. Bright pupils will be provided with dimmer switches to prevent them distracting the rest of the class. SAT’s tests will be abolished and replaced by Gordon Ramsey style cookery lessons and Rolf Harris art classes. And finally Law and Order Policies: Regarding tobacco it will now only be legal to smoke it with cannabis. Anyone found to have a ciggy not containing any cannabis will be made to walk to Coventry with a stone in their shoe, unless they come from Coventry in which case an alternative major city will be substituted on the advice of a committee who will meet far too often and eat dope cakes. Anyone caught breaking the law will be made to mend it. Aren't they geniuses? Now that's a platform that we could all stand behind and support. Screw the torries, the labour and the liberal democrats; they all suck. Vote for the Loonies! :)

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