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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Thursday, June 02, 2005

PSA to the tragicly hip Egyptians

This is a Sandmonkey special FYI targeting Egyptians and foreigners living in Egypt ages 16 to 34: According to the lords of everything that is cool and the mecca of Egyptian hippness that is known as the AUC and its crowd, it has been officially decreed that it is uncool and unhip to go out on a Thursday night. Instead, the new cool go-out nights are either Tuesday, Wendsday or Friday, and sometimes, just sometimes, Monday. This sudden change and designation of the historically official Go-Out night known as Thursday night to be unhip may seem confusing at first, but it's not without logic, for it serves 2 purposes: 1) To make sure that when the hip go out to their respective hip places ( may it be club 35, Cairo Jazz Club , Latex, Ritmo or Sangria) they do not have to subject themselves to unnecessary crowdedness and affiliations with uncool and unhip people; and 2) To help identify those among us who are not cool but think themselves cool enough to go to cool people's hangouts on Thursday nights and finding themselves there alone, absent the fabolousness of our presence amongst them. While this may seem Childish and Highschool-like to some foreign observers, we want to assure you at Sandmonkey Inc. that in Egypt, due to certain class structures and inferiority complexes, Highschool never really ends for some people. Elitism amongst the Hip ( See also : Pretty; Rich; Powerful; Connected and Coke-head) crowd regarding the nightlife and hangout spots runs its course strong until they are in their mid thirties and then is replaced with private parties and functions, to which the unhip are still uninvited or unwelcome, unless they made obscene amounts of money, which gurantees them instant hip status in Egyptian high class society and are then ok to be seen with. So please, if you plan on going out tonight, Don't. You will receive an official "Unhip" (Bee2a) designation and you are assured to not have a good time, because the people who do provide it- i.e. us-will not be there, so you will just end up wasting your money and not having fun. Our advice to you is this: Be hip; Stay at home tonight and go out tommorow. It's for your own good! Have a nice day!

29 Comments:

At 6/02/2005 02:13:00 AM, Blogger egyptiansally said...

Don't conform.

 
At 6/02/2005 03:01:00 AM, Blogger Mohamed said...

People have been doing this for quite a while now. Whether its hip or not, not to go out on Thursday nights, its definetely sane to stay home and avoid the crowd.

 
At 6/02/2005 03:04:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

I guess that makes you Hip ya Mo. ;)

 
At 6/02/2005 04:55:00 AM, Anonymous SAM2 said...

Dude, that's been on forever...the reason people don't go out Thrusadays is to avoid the traffic....Thursdays are fine for renting a movie or going out with u'r unhip friends to the 2ahwa...save the other days for the hip friends...

 
At 6/02/2005 05:46:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

You know what's weird Sam2?

I never noticed, but i went out on Thursday like 6 times since January. It's usually because i eitehr go to people's places or i feel too tired after a week's work to do anything anyway. But i enevr noticed it to be official, until my friends told me the other day when i asked them why the sudden insistance on going to Ritmo tuesday night. I guess if it was going on forever it must 've been when i was away, so that's why i was never fully informed of it. To think i was unhip for 6 Thursdays. Oh lawd! Laaaawwwwwwwd have mercy!

So i am guessing all the egyptians reading this blog are hip already? LOL

 
At 6/02/2005 06:18:00 AM, Anonymous Bassist Of The Fall said...

F*ck what everyone says. That's the problem with this society. You just need to be a little bit different from the others and voila: You're an uncool outsider that should be ripped on by all means.

If you feel like going out on Thursday, do it for crap's sake.

 
At 6/02/2005 08:12:00 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

Never been to the hip places in Libya ( oh yes they exist * me nodding head*) ..guess i'm totally unhip he he he

 
At 6/02/2005 10:45:00 AM, Anonymous Me, Myself and I said...

we are all hip...we do not go out thursdays...this has been the hip thing to do for a while..hummm come to think about it...i stopped going out period..so does this make me more hip than the hips...me thinks i am very hip..actually beyond hip--such a mutilated society....

 
At 6/02/2005 11:24:00 PM, Blogger Mohamed said...

Exactly MMI. In SM's definition, to be hip is not to go out Thursdays AND to go to those hip places on weekdays (Wednesdays, or is it Tuesdays now?).

I don't go to those places (bcs its full of people who pretend to be hip), and I don't go out Thursdays (unless I have to). So does that just make me sane (not hip), or way too hip?!

 
At 6/03/2005 03:14:00 AM, Anonymous Me,Myself and I said...

hate to admit Mo, this makes u too sane...watch out for this is at the edge of being boring....better be unhip than sane...

 
At 6/03/2005 05:57:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

SM definition?

Did anyone else notice the tone of the post? That it was designed to make fun of the people who act this way?

No body gets me!

Sigh...

 
At 6/03/2005 06:04:00 AM, Blogger Mohamed said...

I meant the definition you provided (not that its yours).

 
At 6/03/2005 04:26:00 PM, Anonymous Dee said...

sad but true
*sigh*

 
At 6/03/2005 06:39:00 PM, Blogger praktike said...

The question is: do tragically hip Egytians make subtle Elvis Costello references these days? I'm guessing not.

 
At 6/03/2005 06:40:00 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

SM,

Nothing bore me more than people that keep saying I have been to this place and that place. Too much personal crap!

Who gives a Rat Ass anyway?! All this is a new money attitude. I think they are little kids who are dying for attention.

People who are refined don't chose to share their intimate details of when or where they go and they protect their privacy.

As someone told me before it is lame :)

 
At 6/04/2005 04:24:00 AM, Blogger Orientalism said...

SM
"( See also : Pretty; Rich; Powerful; Connected and Coke-head)"

pure gold post. I did notice the thursday boycot since i have been back, namely from some of my friends and quasi friends "izayak ya m3alem 3amel eh, while not knowing thier name". This guy i actually know who is the poster boy for tragically hip egyptians(and a bit of a habitual-not recreational drug user) said after i asked him why no going out on thursday he was like " wensday is the new thursday!!" lol what a total jerkoff, he went on to further discuss with me the egyptian social scene and complain that coke dealers have to actually get paid in euros now, and how the "ersh" is 150 now! hehehehhe thats some funny shit

 
At 6/04/2005 06:29:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Orientalism,

I am glad someone caught the joke and liked the post for what it was trying to do. I was doubting my own sense of humor there for a second.

Don't you just love the "ezayak ya me3alem" crowd? They are all like, "let's meet up and go out. take my number, call me so i have urs blah blah blah.."and you know and they know that neither of you will call or bother to keep the # beyoned next week.

As for the coke situation, i wasn't informed of the euro-ization of the drug. That's too bad for them. What's a poor cokehead to do? lol

However, the cokeheads don't bother me as much as the heroin addicts, or the "Beesa-heads". They are everywhere now, boys and girls, and they act like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Egypt defintely is becoming more interesting by the minute!

 
At 6/04/2005 07:23:00 AM, Blogger Orientalism said...

yeah it is def. Alot of people i know have chosen to go to extremes on both sides, some party themselves to death, some have beards and dont shake hands with women and stuff like that. what happend to moderation? I think ill post about this topic soon cuz its pissing me off.

 
At 6/04/2005 07:34:00 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

SM what is "Beesa-heads" please?

 
At 6/04/2005 09:32:00 AM, Blogger Orientalism said...

highlander
beesa heads= heroin junkies. they come in two types, full on injecting types, and people who "chase the dragon" i.e burn it and are in complete denial and think they are not junkies.

Its like a plague now in egypt unfortunatly.

 
At 6/04/2005 09:51:00 AM, Blogger Twosret said...

SM, I got the humor for sure but you touched an annoying topic that is all :) you know what I think of your sense of humor don't you?!

Orientalism,

I couldn't have guessed the term in million years. I can hardly keep up with the new slang terms from overseas :)

Can someone start an anti-smoking campaign in Egypt?

T.

 
At 6/04/2005 01:03:00 PM, Blogger Highlander said...

Thank you for the explanation Orientalism, walahi I was lost with that term :)

SM , I think most of us here caught the jokular- satirical drift of your post...that is why I expect to be shown around all those hip places on my next trip to Egypt for laughs ;) ...It would be double fun if Twosret can be there as well. How about it Twosret ?

 
At 6/04/2005 02:44:00 PM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Orientalism, i am with you on the moderation thing. Whatever happend to that idea?

I dunno, maybe its because we left and then we came back? It's always so strange when you do that, because you think that things will remain the same as u left them behind, yet they never are. And it's not always the other people, sometimes you also change.i have this childhood friend- we were friends since we were like sperm or something- and now we can't carry a conversation. We have nothing in common. It's sad, yet, for some reason, it doesn't really matter. It's like the 2 people that were friends are now dead, and replaced by 2 completly different people, who have nothing in common with one another but some quickly fading memories.

But that aside, i am with u on the extreemes thing. When i came back i was horrified with the amount if decedant friends who turned all islamic on me,the amount of people who got married and now have like families( wtf? we are 23-24), and the amount of people who are just hardcore druggies. And i can tolerate hash and marijuana, acid, shrooms and even coke to a certain degree, but i have zero tolerance for heroin. It killed 3 of my friends and it almost claimed a 4th this spring if it wasn't for me and my friend breaking down a door, taking him to a hospital and saving the person's life. It's all messed up.

I thought when i first came back that my life would be boring. That nothing exciting will ever happen. Yet the drama has been nonstop for the past 5 months now. It's like the political instability is making people's personal lives unstable as well. Since i am a big fan of chaos, i am naturally amused, but i can't help but wonder when the other shoe will drop. You know?

 
At 6/04/2005 03:18:00 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

Highlander,

Only for a good Siamese laugh meowwwwww!!!!

 
At 6/04/2005 04:45:00 PM, Blogger Orientalism said...

I know exactly what you mean:)

that aside, what the hell is wrong with people? exhibt A:my friend O, went to high school together, kolo tamam, he started to get religious on us a few years ago during the early stages of college. I leave for 2 point somthing years, i came back, bang! the dude has a massive beard,wears that pakistani g-unit thing, has two kids, and, get this...his wife is pregnant with the third, i shit you not!!(we're 26ish, but still but thats not an excuse)

exibit b: my highschool friend h, we did the whole Ibiza/amsterdam thing (manumission@privelage has to be followed by liedsplain park:), but when i left for sydney, i sorta mellowed out a bit, ya know? i come back, the dude is heavily into c then likes to down it with b at the end of the night, and has a dream of starting a commune, i think watching the woodstock/doors movies and readling huxley's doors of preception has finnaly gotten to him after all these years. again, i have to ask, what the hell is wrong with people? what happend to good old fashioned moderation?

 
At 6/04/2005 04:47:00 PM, Blogger Orientalism said...

the comment's for u SM forgot to title it, blame it on my short term memory:)

 
At 6/05/2005 06:43:00 AM, Anonymous Me, Myself and I said...

SM...can not u say u were friends since you were eggs or something..why sperms..such a sexist...i have a sense u are soooooooooo unhip and that u go out on thursdays with a brown bag on ur head..and listen, of course i sensed the irony and sarcasim in ur post-not that u were trying to inform the etiquette of socialization in egypt.. next time thing of it as being an egg rather than a sperm.

 
At 6/05/2005 07:24:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

MM&I: Ohh you shrewd woman you. You uncoverd my secret hidden sexist agenda. Alas, my insedious plot to bring your sense of gender pride by using "sperm" instead of "egg" has been exposed, thus rendered useless. And i was this close to brainwash you all into becoming my willing female slaves. Damn you. Damn you to hell!

And how did u know about the brown bag thing? You must know who i am in real life. Dran. Ok, let's strike a deal: U don;t tell anybody who i really am, and i will use the word egg the next time, my gender's superiority be damned!

 
At 6/05/2005 07:27:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Orientalism: If i knew what the hell is wrong with people, i would've solved all of the world's problems by dinner time. All i can say about them is this: They are stupid, and they suck!

As for whatever happend to moederation, well, it's out of style now. Face it man. We are a minority. You are either Mr islam or mr. decedance, and there is no space in between. I am considerd mr islam by my decedant friends, and mr decedant by my islamic friends. There is no way out for me it seems.

 

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