"I want to meet god now, and i mean NOW!"

Is it bad that i find this to be funny? Iraq's most feared terror group said Tuesday that it has formed a unit of potential suicide attackers who are exclusively Iraqis, an apparent bid to deflect criticism that most suicide bombers in Iraq are foreigners. [...] "In response to God's decree, and the heavy insistence of the (Iraqi) brothers and their longing for paradise, the Ansar platoon from the land of Iraq has been formed," the posting said. Can you just imagine their insistence? "Zarqawi, now listen up. I can't take this life for one more day. I have no money, i live with my mom, i can't get laid and Allah said that there are 72 horny virgins with my name written on their asses waiting for me to deflower them. And as you know, and as i have heard, there is nothing better then sex with a virgin, so sleeping with 72 should be 72 times the pleasure! That's a lot of pleasure dude. So will you please from this group and give me some explosives so i can get me some heavenly punanni? Stop cockblocking me man, i need to get some badly!" I am sure it didn't go exactly like that, but close enough, right? Oh wait, they even have an example of their own. "Dozens hurried to register their names to meet their God," the posting said. It told of one Iraqi youth who had rebuked his leader for failing to give him a suicide assignment, telling him he would complain to God on the Day of Judgment because "you prevented me from meeting my God." But dude, what if God doesn't wanna meet you? I mean, God is the creator of the Universe and all, so he is kinda busy. Why would you think he would want to meet your sorry ass? Because you blew yourself up? Dude, get in line! Yeah, that long one over there. I know, i know, it says Hell at the door, but that's where God wants you to go for now. Think of it as a waiting room. He should see you in a millennia or two. Don't hold your breath though. Or do, you are dead anyway! The audacity of it all astound me. Like they got God on call. Like they are a shoe in to heaven because they kill some innocent people. Like that's what the Koran preaches. Do they even freakin read? Arghhhhh Ohh, but don't fret about this. I know who to blame for this. That's right, the USA. After all, Al Zarqawi is a US agent. What? you didn't know? But it was reported in an Egyptian state-owned newspaper and you know that those never ever lie! Cause you see, they are not owned by the evil Joooooozzzzz! Hmm..........