The Onion is awesome

They have a tendency to write articles that make you laugh and feel bad for finding them humorous. The following one, about an Iraqi cop that moonlights as a terrorist to make ends meet, is a classic example. Moneyshot: While Hassim had worried that his lack of experience and his creased suit would hurt his chances of being hired, he later said "the only thing they seemed to care about was whether I had a car." Although happy to have extra work, Hassim is not always able to fulfill his duties as a terrorist, resulting in some unexpected complications. "Last week, I couldn't work a suicide-bombing shift because I had to be alive early the next morning for patrol duty," Hassim said. "I was calling everyone, but I had a hell of a time trying to find someone to replace me. At the last minute, Fathi [Abd al-Khalid] agreed to take the shift. That guy's such a martyr." Hehehe Also check out the report about Rumsfeld's surprise visit to his wife's Vagina to raise morale on the homefront. Awesome. Just Awesome!