The perfect way to start your day

You wake up 2 houres late because your alarm did not go off. You quickly shower and shave and wear your cloths and step out of the house only to slip on the iced stairs and take 6 stairs down on your ass in front of a whole street. Your pants get torn, your shoulder dislocated and your ass bruised. And then to add insult to injury, after you take your bruised aching ass upstairs again, you get a text message from your roommate warning you about the slippery stairs. Perfect!