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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Bin Laden Book club

Osama Bin Laden has been known to be a lot of things: Murderer, terrorist, evil mastermind. He is adding a new description on that list: Book promoter. In his "Truce offer" on Al Jazeerah a couple of days ago, he mentioned a book called "Rogue state" by an unknown leftist writer by the name of Willian Blum. That was enough to make the book jump to # 35 on amazon's bestseller list after spending 2 years as # 205,763. And judging by the author, it's easy to see why Bin Laden would love the book: It's easy enough to see why bin Laden chose Blum -- despite the fact that Blum grew up in Brooklyn, N.Y., the child of Jewish immigrants from Poland. In the first line of "Rogue State," Blum writes, "Washington's war on terrorism is as doomed to failure as its war on drugs has been." This fits securely into the singular theme that Blum has pursued through four books. "The U.S. government does not mean well. It doesn't care whether it does good or bad," he explained. "The second lesson is that anti-American terrorists are not motivated at all by things cultural. It's what we do. It's American foreign policy." Over the years, Blum's books have been translated into 15 different languages, including Chinese, Korean, Greek, Finnish, Spanish and two Arabic editions. They are all displayed on one of the many bookshelves in his small living room, a converted office otherwise decorated with the detritus of an activist's life: A dollar bill with President Bush's face and the words "The United States of Aggression"; a Project Censored award; and a lapel pin that says, "Gay Whales Against Racism." He admits, "I am not very p.c." Hmmm, ok. And how does he feel about the plug from Osama? As for his newest booster, Blum offers no apologies. "The people who have interviewed me in the last few days, they keep pressing me to say how repulsed I am to get a plug from Osama bin Laden. I am not repulsed." WoW. That is not to say he has any sympathy for bin Laden's brand of violence or religious extremism, only that he is not surprised that bin Laden agrees with his writing. Why would he be surprised? They both really dislike Bush and the US, no? But don't judge him to quickly though; he is not exactly a fan of Bin Laden either. "I hate any kind of religious fundamentalism," he says. He did not support U.S. military actions in Afghanistan or Iraq, but he says he would hate to see bin Laden and his crew in charge of either country. "The oppression of women," he says. "The whole thing turns me off." The killing, the stoning, the suicidebombing, the beheading doesn't bother him apparently, only the opression of women. And it's funny, because he is against the war on Afghanistan, even though it removed a regime that would be very aptly described as "Bin Laden's crew" and that very well opressed women. But don't let that contradiction stop you, cause it sure ain't stopping him. The man is the kind of leftie that makes the left look stupid and looney. What, I am too harsh? Check out what he said next: "If I were the president, I could stop terrorist attacks against the United States in a few days. Permanently," reads the section quoted in part by the world's most notorious terrorist. "I would first apologize to all the widows and orphans, the tortured and impoverished, and all the many millions of other victims of American imperialism." In that passage, Blum goes on to explain that he would end American support for Israel and reduce the military budget by 90 percent. So let me get this straight: he would apologize to the world on behalf of America (cause every war America engaged in was its fault and part of their imperialist campaign), and then the terrorists of the world and all of America's haters would be like: "Finally, an apology. That's all we wanted. That's all we really wanted all of those years." and then they will lay down their weapons, pack up and go home and resume a normal productive life that doesn't involve Jihad or killing innocent people. Right? And since this will be the case, there is really no reason why the US would need its military budget, because the whole world would have no reason to attack it or hate it anymore, and everyone will live happily ever after and in peace. Except for Israel. But that's ok. Those Jews had it coming anyway. That's the genius plan, right? Hmm.. ok. I have a different scenario to propose: The US goes and apologizes to the world for all of the widows and the orphans it has caused in its wars against Hitler, Mossulini, Milsovic, the Taliban and Saddam Hussein, not to mention all of those conflicts it engaged in during the cold war with the USSR, since we all know that the USSR was god's paradise on earth for all of those who inhabited it. Those were all bad calls on the US' behalf and should be ammended immedietly. The US should withdraw immedietly from Iraq, after restoring Saddam Hussein to Power, who apparently killed his own people because of the US' agression and imperialism. The US will also vow not to interfeere while he attacks and invades Kuwait and Saudi, cause let's face it, it really isn't its business anyway. The US should also re-install Solobodan Milsovic and help him rebuild his military, so he could continue his genocide against muslims in Kosovo. They should also withdraw from Afghanistan, but only after they hand back power to Mullah Omar and the Taliban. Sure, they committed horrible atrocities, but that's fine. The US had no right to toople that regime, even if it did sponser terrorism and give Al Qaeda shelter. As we all know, there is never any justification for the US to go to war, even if it was attacked. The US had it coming anyway. And while we are at it, the US should withdraw its troops from South Korea immedietly and let North Korea take over that country and unify them both. It should also give North Korea all the food they need free of charge, after all, their people are starving, and it's probably the US' fault and not their ruler's in anyway. And even if it was their ruler's fault, that's none of the US' business. The US should also not do anything while the Middle-east sinks into chaos, with the start of the inevitable Iranian-Israeli nuclear war. Europe should handle it, after all, the europeans know better, are more diplomatic and are more civilized then those agressive trigger-happy americans. I am sure they will figure out a peacefull solution to the whole problem, one that doesn't involve any threat of force what so ever, and only diplomacy. It should work great, probably after the whole war is over by the mutual nuclear destruction of the engaging parties. Sure, the area will be contaminated for the next 1000 years, and hundreds of millions will die, but at least that problem will get resolved once and for all, no? The US should also let China do whatever China pleases with the world, and if they start taking over their surrounding countries, the US should not do anything. If anything, the chinese should just become the world's next super power and take over that job. You know that they are democratic, sane and not at all opressive or agressive country, where the people get to decide who leads the country. They aren't any of those things you say? Oh well, it's probably the US' fault that they are this way anyway. Don't ask me how, I am sure someone will find a way to blame it all on the US. They always do. Yes, I am sure that the US apologizing for all of its imperialism and virtually eliminating its armed forces (that's what will happen if they reduce military spending by 90% by the way) will bring about world peace and will make the world stop hating America once and for all. Egyptians and other arabs would probably be bummed out after losing their favorite excuse and scapegoat, but they will probably be dead or dying anyway from nuclear contamination resulting from the aforementioned war, so at least they won't be bummed for long. Ahh, what a paradise such a world would be. Don't you agree?

15 Comments:

At 1/22/2006 08:29:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're making sense again - better cut that out now!

Joanne

 
At 1/23/2006 12:09:00 AM, Blogger Jordan said...

As a liberal Jew myself, I suddenly have this urge to kick my own ass :)

In other news, Ciny Sheehan is giving a speech in Venezualla this week on anti-imperialism... why not just give the speech in Soviet Union's gullogs?!

Is anyone else besides me suprised that the human race survived this long?

 
At 1/23/2006 03:03:00 AM, Anonymous Don Cox said...

"Is anyone else besides me suprised that the human race survived this long?"___Not really, we are tough adaptable animals, like rats. Read the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles to see how bad things can get (or look at the Congo region over the past 20 years). Yet people survive somehow. Whether they survive in decent civilised conditions is another matter.

 
At 1/23/2006 03:08:00 AM, Blogger Josie said...

"the europeans know better, are more diplomatic and are more civilized then those agressive trigger-happy americans."

LOL. So true!

 
At 1/23/2006 04:22:00 AM, Anonymous Egyptian Harpoon said...

Don't be a dick head, nuclear stand off my ass. You're pretty slecetive with your facts. Can't be bothered pointing out every error you make. Let me assure you though, there will be no nuclear war between Iran and Israel. Mainly that Iran and Israel have been 69ing each other for a long time. Never mind the dinner and show by that monkey in Tehran. It was Iran that helped israel bomb the Iraqi nuclear project, and Isreal helped Iran fight the Iraqis. Nuclear stand off my ass. Iran major exports include Cashews and Peanuts for fucks sake!

 
At 1/23/2006 05:25:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

Look, opinions differ i know but i cannot see how America is Imperial!
AMerica is not an Empire, never was even. Just look at the way the US is running its affairs in Iraq shows how far from imperialistic they are.
Egyptian Harpoon, where did you get this information about Iran being helped by Israelis during the gulf war?

 
At 1/23/2006 06:43:00 AM, Blogger Seneferu said...

Nice post. I like the term "leftie", it's insultingly funny:-)

 
At 1/23/2006 08:15:00 AM, Anonymous redWhite&Blue blooded said...

Oh, wow. I have never read, or come across a more arrogant, self-absorbed, fact-twisting dumbass until I came across your site.

Keep it up. Osama would love to have you as his speech writer.

Dumbass.

 
At 1/23/2006 09:41:00 AM, Blogger programmer craig said...

RWBB, you haven't? You just fall off the turnip truck or what? Let me guess, you just discovered blogs :P

Wait... another guess... that was your scripted response to a Juan Cole article and you hit the wrong hotkey?

 
At 1/23/2006 10:57:00 AM, Blogger Sam The Blogger said...

To Harpoon,

Looks like you're pretty selective of what kind of logic you use.

First of all, to criticize someone and not point out the fallacies of their argument is sophmoric.

Second of all, 'assuring' us that there won't be a nuclear between ANY two countries is simply idiotic. Did you use the Force to see that vision of the future?

Third of all, Iran and Iraq were at each other's throats to be the one who would lead a unified Middle East. Everyone took part in the balancing of power between those two nations so they fought each other and no one else.

Now that Iraq is out of the picture, Iran can resume its desire to be the one to finally destroy israel and bring a unified Arab front against the middle east.

Finally, Iran also exports global terrorism, if you hadn't noticed.

Get a clue.

 
At 1/23/2006 11:18:00 AM, Blogger Lieutenant Fishman said...

Awesome post ESM!!

you smartly summed up the thought process of millions of American lefties who hate their own freedom more than hating fanatical Islamic terrorists!
Keep up the good work...

 
At 1/23/2006 11:41:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

Not open for business
I dont understand this bit
[Iran can resume its desire to be the one to finally destroy israel and bring a unified Arab front against the middle east.]
Unified Arab against the Middle east??? i dont get it at all.
first i need to say that Iraq was the agressor in that war with Iran & Iran simply was defending itself, whether or not Iran wanted to dominate the gulf is something else.
Secondly, Persians or Iranians do not have pleasant emotions with Arabs, long history of suspicion & hatred on both sides. The gulf states stood behind Iraq simply because they need to stop any ideas by the Iranians of spreading their Shiite version elsewhere to their small vulnerable states.
Thirdly, Iranians are not that blind to think they could ever unite arabs, it has not been done by arabs themselves in ancient & modern history so thats no viable option at all.
Point is to suggest that Iran wants to lead a united Arab state is something of a fairytale im afraid. To say that Iran wants to influence the region economically through political means is something else.

 
At 1/23/2006 12:42:00 PM, Anonymous Mohamed said...

Not open for business,
In addition to Jokerman's comments, neither Iraq nor Iran were ever a viable leader of a unified middle east as you've mentioned, which shows utter lack of knowledge of the middle east on your part.
Also, your mentioning Iraq's being out of the picture is so incorrect, because what's actually happening right now, in front of everyone's eyes, is that Iraq's being slowly but surely incorporated into Iran, which would make pressuring Iran economically or militarily in the future to comply with any US demands come at the risk of losing the cooperation of Iraqi shias, thus making Iraq more of a hindering factor.

 
At 1/23/2006 09:11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't see why Iran would want a unified Arab state when Iran is not even Arab. Seems to me like that's the one thing Iran wouldn't want. Given how racist Sunni Arabs are against Persians and Kurds and Shia, no unified Sunni Arab state is going to be friendly to Iran.

And it's hard to believe Iran is going to all this trouble and expense just so it can attack American cities and get itself destroyed. If that didn't happen during the Iran/Iraq war when America was helping Saddam gas the Iranians why would it happen now that the Americans and the Iranians are more or less on the same Shia side in Iraq?

The Mullahs just want nukes because they believe that might save them from being toppled by an invasion like Saddam. And because they want more power to bully Saudi Arabia and the little Gulf States and increase the influence of Shia as opposed to Wahabis.

 
At 1/23/2006 09:47:00 PM, Blogger programmer craig said...

You're first paragraph made sense, previous anon, but then you wandered off into never-never land. Let me guess... you took a couple bong hits in between?

 

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