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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Batman is not gay!

George Clooney is trying to piss me off. Gotham City superhero, Batman, is gay, according to Hollywood superstar George Clooney. The actor who was being interviewed on an American Oscar show, replied to host Barbara Walters’ who asked if he would ever play a gay cowboy. Mr Clooney said he believed he had already played a gay character, "I was in a rubber suit and I had rubber nipples. I could have played Batman straight, but I made him gay." Ok, first of all Batman is many things, but gay is not one of them. Joel Shumacher made him look gay with his Batsuit with the rubber nipples crap. But he is not gay. And I resent anyone who calls him a child molester as well. So, the costume of Robin from the waist down is nothing but a green brief, which he runs and prances around in, but that doesn't mean that Batman checks him out while they engage in sweaty fights with burly men. It may seem like latent homosexual behaviour to you, but that's just life in Gotham is all. Don't jump to any conclusions. Goddamn it. Now you've ruined Batman to me forever. Damn you George Clooney. DAMN YOU TO HELL!

18 Comments:

At 3/05/2006 05:46:00 AM, Blogger Nerro said...

Have mercy on the guy, he is getting old... and no longer the sexiest guy of the year, fa he thought of crashing some selfesteem, hence, came up with the Batman gay thing...

 
At 3/05/2006 05:55:00 AM, Blogger Bo said...

that goddam Clooney.... him and his friends are EVERYWHERE!!!!!

 
At 3/05/2006 06:34:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a gay man I've always found Batman a great role model.
And Adam West was so-o-o-o-o sexy!!!

 
At 3/05/2006 07:15:00 AM, Anonymous CD said...

What does it matter, if batman's alter ego is gay? He may be a role model anyway. What is the big deal? Are you people prejudiced against a sexual minority?

 
At 3/05/2006 07:28:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

You see, I am just against the mischaracterization of my superheros. I have no problems with superheros being gay, because let's face it, some of them are gay, big time. I mean, Aquaman and his city of seamen? Come on!

 
At 3/05/2006 07:32:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clooney is a jackass, and he proves it more each time he speaks. The only time I've seen him do Anything close to sensible was 'Peacemaker.'

'Batman Begins' is really the Best Batman movie. Followed by the Original 'Batman' with Michael Keaton.

~Gary

 
At 3/05/2006 08:21:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

George Clooney just wants him to be gay. Am I the only one who has thought since the first time I ever saw
George Clooney that he was gay? It may not stand out to other people but I am from the same area of the country and that is what gay looks like here.

 
At 3/05/2006 01:46:00 PM, Blogger patrick said...

Ah, *that* explains why he made the WORST Batman movie ever. I'm going to start calling this idiot Clowney, or maybe George C. Looney.

"'Batman Begins' is really the Best Batman movie. Followed by the Original 'Batman' with Michael Keaton."

I have to agree with that assessment.

 
At 3/05/2006 03:36:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem. As a longtime DC comic fan, I'm puzzled by Clooney's comment. Batman/Bruce Wayne had more women than any three superheroes combined. Hell, he even dated his enemies: Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Ras al Ghul's daughter...

Not gay. Rest easy.

 
At 3/05/2006 04:25:00 PM, Anonymous Peter-Australia said...

I always thought Clooney's Batman sucked and now I know one of the reasons why. So Batman is supposed to be gay but his girlfriend is Elle Mcpherson? That is a waste.

Anyway Lee Meriwether's and Julie Newmar's feline, femine antics would have been lost on a gay Batman. As a young boy a Catwoman purr with her tight catsuit hugging those womanly curves wasn't lost on me. http://www.artoflawmack.com/Gothem.htm (scroll down)

I think I need to go and have a cold drink.

P.S. A Catwoman in a Burka just wouldn't have worked.

 
At 3/05/2006 09:00:00 PM, Anonymous Scott from Oregon said...

An interesting aside. In the original TV series, Robin's first episodes had him simply wearing a little green pair of... you know... tighties...

He uh, apparently had an endowment of the arts, if you know what I mean, and the censorship board stepped in and made him STRAP that thing down so it wasn't such a prominant scene stealer...

That's a fact. Ask the ladies...

(The letters below spell "ufook". Thought that was funny.)

 
At 3/05/2006 09:10:00 PM, Anonymous Sydney Kendall said...

Heee! You guys crack me up!

Hey, I'm no fan of George Clooney's politics, but I think I'm pretty familiar with his personality, because his dad was a tv and radio host in my hometown, and I always liked his dad. So when George started showing up on tv shows, I started following his career. You know - hometown boy goes to Hollywood. I watched him do interviews whenever I knew he'd be on, read about him in the newspaper, etc.

When you strip off the political baggage (which didn't appear until he'd been in Hollywood for awhile), you have a guy who's a big-time kidder, a spoofer, a tease and a leg-puller. And - I'd bet the farm - that the audience who actually saw him make this gay Batman comment could easily tell that he was just spoofing. But when it's *reported*, it comes across differently.

I saw Clooney's Batman performance, and I never once got the impression that he was playing it gay. He *didn't* play it gay as far as I'm concerned.

He's just funnin' with ya.

 
At 3/05/2006 09:12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as we're on this thread, did anyone ever see Frank DeCaro's movie review years ago on the Daily Show of that particular Batman movie? As a setup for a comment, they showed the scene in which Batman resists the literally lethal seduction by Poison Ivy. To which Frank DeCaro, who is Quite Gay, admonished: "Clooney!! What is WRONG with you?! *I* would do Uma Thurman, and I DON'T mean her hair!"

I actually blame Schumacher, not Clooney. For sooooo many reasons. So thank you, Christopher ("Memento") Nolan, for Batman Begins. Nuf-Sed.

...And while we're discussing Alternative Lifestyle SuperHeroes, did ANYONE ever see the completely brilliant Live-Action TV Series called "The Tick" starring Patrick Warburton? One episode dealt with the unhealthy relationship between a superhero named "Fiery Blaze" and his sidekick "Friendly Fire." ..If you appreciate the humor on this blog, just find a copy of the DVD of the series you won't regret it.

-Troy Z

 
At 3/06/2006 12:12:00 AM, Blogger O Pequeno Nietzsche said...

Oh C´mon man !! Why say that George Clooney "destroyed" Batman to you just because he said he´s gay ..... try to think about what you´ve just said ..... the fact of being gay doesn´t "destroy" the image of anybody, unless it´s seemed by an homofobic point of view....

And one more think, I´m not gonna conclude anything, but I´m just wondering why batman keeps Robin with him, because Robin just perturbs all the time. Everytime Btaman needs to stop the hero action, save Robin-always-in- trouble, and then come back to the hero action... I think this is very weird !!

See u

 
At 3/06/2006 04:19:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know im little late but come on ppl i saw the show and im sure he was kidding thats it.. he wasnt serious at all and he was kidding about every quistion she asked and she was kidding was him

 
At 3/06/2006 05:00:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, he may have been kidding- but he's got to know by now what impression that leaves, especially being a well-known figure.

~Gary

 
At 3/06/2006 05:48:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

as long as he doesn't start saying things like,"there's no Easter Bunny" and other assorted lies I'll be OK.

 
At 3/07/2006 07:28:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clooney told Oprah that cowboy films are the gayest genre ever. Go figure, McCarthy saw commies and Clooney sees poofs, that's the film industry for ya I guess.

 

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