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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Friday, December 31, 2004

Islamic Jihad Army speech? and a video? YES ! A Twofer!

This video and speech were made by - and i am not making this up, that's what they call themselves-"The media platoon of the Islamic Jihad Army". The media platoon. They must have some really brave soldiers there, u know, to pose infront of a camerea with guns wearing a mask. Inspirational. Really! And their speech, wow, I am still sweating from how excited it made me I almost creamed my pantie..shorts. ehh, never mind me. Here is the transcript and my comments are in blue: People of the world! These words come to you from those who up to the day of the invasion were struggling to survive under the sanctions imposed by the criminal regimes of the U.S. and Britain . As opposed to the righteous regime of the democratically elected dove that was Saddam Hussein!

We are simple people who chose principles over fear. Such as slitting the throats of helpless hostages. You got some principles guy, let me tell ya!

We have suffered crimes and sanctions, which we consider the true weapons of mass destruction.

Hmm. ok. I guess some of us don't live in the same reality?

Years and years of agony and despair, while the condemned UN traded with our oil revenues in the name of world stability and peace. Because your leader was a crazy dictator, which the american and british troops removed and you didn't. What is this, a blame-a-thon?

Over two million innocents died waiting for a light at the end of a tunnel that only ended with the occupation of our country and the theft of our resources. Yeah, and you still did not move your ass to help yourself back then. The west waited for you to take the initiative for like a decade. you had 2 million reasons to fight Saddam and now you fight those who took him out?

After the crimes of the administrations of the U.S and Britain in Iraq , we have chosen our future. The future of every resistance struggle ever in the history of man.

Riight , a future. Yeah, you didn't really have one under Saddam either!

It is our duty, as well as our right, to fight back the occupying forces, which their nations will be held morally and economically responsible; for what their elected governments have destroyed and stolen from our land.

The elected governments are to blame then. See? Democracy is bad. Bad bad democracy! We have not crossed the oceans and seas to occupy Britain or the U.S. nor are we responsible for 9/11. These are only a few of the lies that these criminals present to cover their true plans for the control of the energy resources of the world, in face of a growing China and a strong unified Europe . It is Ironic that the Iraqi's are to bear the full face of this large and growing conflict on behalf of the rest of this sleeping world.

Ok, i am confused. So this whole thing, was because the USA is afraid of a "Unified" Europe? A "Unified" europe? Ohh yeah, France and Germany, they make uncle Sam shake in his boots. And i Guess Britian isn't a part of Europe anymore, huh? I did not know that. Did anyone else know that? Did i miss a memo?

We thank all those, including those of Britain and the U.S. , who took to the streets in protest against this war and against Globalism. We also thank France , Germany and other states for their position, which least to say are considered wise and balanced, til now. Did anyone notice the subtle threat in the "till now"? Better stay wise and balanced Germany, you know France is hopeless.

Today, we call on you again. Ohh yay!

We do not require arms or fighters, for we have plenty. Yeah, we weren't really offering.

We ask you to form a world wide front against war and sanctions. A front that is governed by the wise and knowing. A front that will bring reform and order. New institutions that would replace the now corrupt.

The wise and knowing? Reform and order? Is he really talking about reform and order? I thought you blew up people and are trying to stop democratic elections. I am so confused! Stop using the U.S. dollar, use the Euro or a basket of currencies. Reduce or halt your consumption of British and U.S. products. Put an end to Zionism before it ends the world. Educate those in doubt of the true nature of this conflict and do not believe their media for their casualties are far higher than they admit.

Ok, now i am bored with this. I am leaving the rest of that transcript without comments. This is just.. a serious waste of my time. I am not gonna...wait no... done talking about it! You, the reader , on the other hand can read it and leave your own comments if you like. I gotta say though, i love that british accent in the video. It really delivers the message against the americans and especially the british. Ya Know?

5 Comments:

At 12/31/2004 05:04:00 PM, Blogger Kat said...

Sir, you are killing me. You have got this thing sown up. My one thought when he said "stop the war" was, "well, crack head, if you'd put down your weapon the war would be over. Care to contribute to the effort?"

Anyway, great blog as I've said before. Keep it coming.

 
At 12/31/2004 11:49:00 PM, Blogger jedati said...

WOW!!!! (How can I make that word BIG and BOLD?) WOW!!!!

This post did a great job showing how the lefties and US media and the terrorists are sounding SOOOO much alike.

Just found you...I'll be back for sure....

 
At 1/06/2005 03:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"We thank all those, including those of Britain and the U.S. ..."

(and I hope the next bomb that our fellow jihad-enthusiasts plant in Britain and the U.S. miss you guys. Cheers!)

"...who took to the streets in protest against this war and against Globalism."

(Or is that globalization? I can never get that straight. Wait guys!? Fellow martyrs in waiting, gather round. I have a question regarding this new advert we are doing. If some of them took to the streets against globalism but not against the war, should we still thank them? I mean it seems kind of pointless to just thank people for protesting against prosperity and modern communications that lead to freedom- Oh, wait! Now it makes sense. Shit! Tape is still rolling. Get out of the shot guys!)

"We ask you to form a world wide front against war and sanctions."

(Wait, the sanctions are already dropped aren't they? I thought I heard something about that. We had better check on that before the final edit of this advert. We don't want to look stupid.
No, that ship has not already sailed, Bob! Somebody cut off Bob's head. Last thing we need around here is a sense of humor.)

"Stop using the U.S. dollar, use the Euro or a basket of currencies."

(Ooh, that is a lovely picture is it not? Skipping to work in a theocratic paradise with a basket of currencies under your arm! Blue ones, Green ones, some paper, others coins with cute little holes in them. Pictures of dead heads of state, oohhh. Whenever you want to buy something you don't use the evil U.S. dollar, you just sprinkle the shop keeper with some currencies from your beautiful basket.)

Damn, I forgot to remove the lense cover again!
Take 6.

 
At 8/12/2005 12:10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol, i only hope that all the americans like you die in a horrible way or kill all your family and stole your money... DEATH TO AMERICA!!!!!

 
At 1/31/2006 07:49:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we should use our intelligence agency to set up a dictatorship in america, promise them billions of dollars to fight a war against mexico, then when we dont pay up, watch their nation go bankrupt so that they will be forced to invade Canada, then a worldwide coalition will attack america to defend poor little helpless Canada, then we can impose sanctions on America, watch as millions starve, and then invade it because the dictator we helped to power no longer wants to give us free oil. Then, when is all said and done, we will impose a temporary democracy that will fail as soon as our troops leave, change their constitution to fit our own needs, impose laws that make legal the theft of their resources and property, steal all their resources and allow foreigners to flood the country

Oh wait

 

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