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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The Dubies!

What do Ted Kennedy, Johnk Kerry, Saddam Hussein and Martha Stewart have in common? Ehhh.... no, probably not what you are thinking. I know that those names sound like the orgy from hell and those poeple do have the distinction of getting spanked by the Bush adminstration, but it is actually simpler then that. They are all recipients of the Esquire Dubious Achievement Award, all for different reasons: You don't have to be stopped by airport security or go to prison to win an Esquire Dubious Achievement Award - but it helps. Once again, the magazine's editors have selected the richest, most succulent morsels of celebrity absurdity. Sen. Ted Kennedy is back on the list, thanks to those vigilant sentries who blocked him from boarding planes three different times because a similar name appeared on a federal counterterrorism watch list. Similarly, Esquire salutes Nicole Richie for being forced to bare her breasts when her nipple ring set off an airport metal detector. Ex-dictator Saddam Hussein wins a Dubie for taking up the gentle prison pastimes of gardening, enjoying cookies and muffins, and writing poetry. Fellow convict Martha Stewart earns her place by describing her West Virginia prison as as being "like an old-fashioned college campus, without the freedom." But, among pandering political figures, the mag can find no one to top Sen. John Kerry, who entered an Ohio grocery store and asked, "Can I get me a hunting license here?" Ok, does anyone find it kinda distrubing that Martha Stewart likens women prison to "an old-fashioned college campus"? What kind of colleges did she go to? Was she forced to engage in activities similar to prison-sex there? Eww, mental image.. mental image!

1 Comments:

At 1/23/2005 02:27:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Believe it or not these 3 people are revered by millions and millions of shitheads.

Kennedy>Drunk, womanizer, and who could forget his past. Negligent homicide, the "Chappaquiddick cover-up" when poor Mary Jo Kopechne was killed by Kennedy's negligence and the whole team of Rich and Influential crony's in and out of government quashed any meaningful investigation. If you or I didn't pay one god damn parking ticket in Mass. they'd throw our butts in jail. Go ahead give the fucktard a metal!!

Saddam Hussein> yeah..this demon assbite from hell is now stuffing his pie hole with muffins. Next you'll be telling me he's a vegan or uses moisturizer twice a day. Fuck give him metal too and a Nobel Prize while your at it, !!!

Sen. John Kerry> Flip Flop and Fly did you hear how cheap this bastard is?..He fricken deducted used underwear donated to the salvation army off his income tax..This guy is like a 10,000 sq.mile lake 1/1000000000000000000 inches deep. There's nothing to the cocksucker but a reflection!!!!

RICARDO

 

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