Things that piss me off

Those are 5 things that piss me off: 1) The “Yes to Mubarak” support Banners: The man hasn’t even announced his candidacy yet, and already the usual as kissers are putting up banners listing their support and the support of their whole neighborhood with them “ El Haj Ibrahim and all of Heliopolis say Yes Mubarak”. Like they are the spokes people of whatever area they live in. But I guess these pale to the one I saw in downtown Cairo that said “The Fetus in his mother’s womb says Yes to Mubarak”. I am not kidding. The freakin fetus. You know, that doesn’t surprise me, not really. Last time I masturbated my sperm came out screaming “Yes to Mubarak”. It did, all 300 million of them. Seriously. 2) Egyptian anti-Semitic graffiti: In front of one of my friends’ house there is a building where someone using white paint wrote the following sentence :"End of days! U.S.A" which was interjected by – I kid u not- a swastika and next to it he left his name "ahmed hussney" as a sign of pride of his work. I have to say that Graffiti art has ways still to go in Egypt as a form of artistic self expression, but you gotta give the guy some credit for his moronic efforts. Here is a guy who managed to get a swastika, the U.S.A., biblical apocalyptic sense of doom and a Schwarzenegger movie title all intertwined in one grand design of mass ignorance and stupidity, and then, the genius, leaves his name next to it. Ehh, artists! 3) The Egyptians response to the latest terrorist attacks: There is almost none. No one seems to care, or even seems slightly afraid, or even outraged. Every person I have talked to about this talks about it like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Like it’s ok that those attacks are happening or that those tourists are dead. Hell, the only demonstration that happened because of that attack on Israelis tourists ended up being an anti Israeli demonstration. People were actually chanting “ No to Terrorism, No to Israel”. WTF? And then the MB comes out with a statement decrying the event and saying that people who do those attacks should stop them, not because they are wrong, or because they kill innocent bystanders, but because “they only serve the American Zionist project for the middle-east”. Ohh yes, Muslim women in Burkas open fire on a tour bus and you blame the Jews. Makes perfect sense! FUCK YOU MB! I am GLAD that Mubarak rejected your alliance offer and is arresting you by the dozens you assholes. The American Zionist project! What a bunch of morons. 4) Samir Ragab: Samir Ragab is the editor in charge of the Elgomhouria newspaper, which is the 3rd largest state-owned newspaper in Egypt, and he is a huge government stooge. So it came to everybody surprise when he decided to criticize Mubarak. Here is his criticism ( Hat Tip and translation Mohamed): I say to President Mubarak today:Allow me to disagree with you, maybe for the first time since you took responsibility to lead this country in 1981, because your achievements is your book that you held with your right hand, logging in every page of its pages that is shinning with knowledge, hard work, and effort, a record that history will witness its greatness and awesomeness. How can you provide an elections campaign program, and people in your era did not enjoy safety, security, and stability, except with you being with them and they with you.. your food is their food.. their drink is your drink.. one destiny for both of you.. shared hopes.. If someone tries to disrupt their peace of mind, you are the first to dismantle the roots of evil in order for goodness to spread.. and for the society to become joyous.. its weak before its powerful.. and its opposition before its allies.. and its poor before its rich. Hey, Samir, I am just wondering: how does Mubarak’s dick taste like? And does your jaw hurt from sucking it this hard? 5) The Islamic shark car stickers: You know how some Christians put this sticker of the Christian fish on the back of their cars? You know, with that whole parable of how Christians are supposed to be like fishermen or something like that? Well, some Muslims took offense to it apparently, cause they thought that the person was parading Christianity right in their faces or something, and they made their own sticker. It’s also that of a Fish, except that it’s a shark and inside the body of the Shark “There is no god but Allah” is written in Arabic. Seriously. It drove me nuts, because the first one is a symbol of Christianity, so technically this is supposed to be a symbol of Islam. I tried really really hard to figure out what they- the people who put the sticker on their cars- were trying to say about Islam, until one of them actually answered my question with a smile :“ That Islam- Inshaa allah- is going to eat and devour Christianity and Christians”. Ahh, thanks dumb asses. You are truly great Muslims and a great representatives of Islam. Now go back to your caves and don’t come out until you read your Koran and understand what it actually says about Christians, ok? That’s it for now, I am sure more things will piss me off later and I will of course tell you all about them. Have a nice day!