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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, June 26, 2005

More Blahh

Someone at my work saw me yesterday at the wedding and went all over the place telling everybody that i was extreemly drunk, which i wasn't. I was slightly tipsy at most, with only 3 drinks in me (it usually takes 7 to 9 drinks to get me drunk; chugging half liter bottles of Jaeger meister and goldschlagger in college will do that to your tolerance) and i was completly composed. But that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was when 3 of my co-workers decided to pull what can only be called an "islamic intervention", asking me why i drink alcohol in the first place and if i was aware of how much i was going to burn in Hell for it. When i informed them that "Yes, i am aware, and i am quite comofrtable with the idea of going to Hell", they got all huffy and proceeded to tell me stories about how if i had died in the wedding i would've been sent to be judged by god in the form i was in (oh the horror). In my attempt to really piss them off, i Informed them that that would've been fine, because then i would meet God while being impeccably dressed, and that i would have a drink with me, which is exactly what you would need if you realized that you just died and that you are meeting God. They shook their heads, told me that they will pray for me and left the room, leaving me secretly cursing assault laws and the fact that it's illegal to shoot people, especially those you work with. Ohh yeah, and a mosquito bit the back of my neck! I am NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY! *pouts*


At 6/26/2005 06:29:00 AM, Blogger BP said...

One question sandmonkey or qird el remal: where do you work??? masna3 seba7 (prayer beads factory)?? :)

At 6/26/2005 07:21:00 AM, Blogger Twosret said...


You are halarious, I bet all of them smoke and may be do weed. Uggghhhh hypocrisy. What a bunch of schovenistic pigs!

The wedding had a bar so why don't they make the groom life hell :) he must be Christian isn't he? How did it go with Mo? I bet you they made a scene out of it to get his attention didn't they?

e-mail me the latest on that front please.

At 6/26/2005 08:58:00 AM, Blogger gatorbait said...

Sam, you can hang out with me.I have several front row seats in Hell reserved.

At 6/26/2005 02:04:00 PM, Blogger chichimi said...

Do they really think the God of us all, has time to worry about whether you have a drink, Millions are dead from aids UN workers are raping children. Your happy, healthly and quite wise for one so young, Tell them there is time to repent after Last call.

It is nice to know where ever you are in the world everyone is the same. Spending more time minding the business of others and turning a blind eye to their own.

Loved the story of the funeral, I am not allowed to sit with my family at them because I do not behave.


At 6/26/2005 04:32:00 PM, Anonymous PE said...

hahaha...too funny, but kind of saddening at the same time...

At 6/27/2005 01:53:00 AM, Blogger Shamoussa said...

ya 7aram! And I thought working in public sector is where you get the best criticism of all!!
By the way, ya3ni eih sandmonkey??

At 6/27/2005 04:02:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


The answer to your question is here:


Hope that clears it up for ya!

At 6/27/2005 05:54:00 AM, Blogger Shamoussa said...

Hey.. you're right about that mental image ;) and the name is really cute!

At 6/28/2005 04:16:00 AM, Anonymous SAM2 said...

Jeez, I get that shit over freakin cigarettes! those assholes are out of control...


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