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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Carlinism of the day: Drink Up!

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest: "Warning: Alcohol consumption may cause pregnancy!" "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was." "Drinking will significantly improve your chances of killing a loved one." "Men: When emptying your pockets after a night of using this product, you may come across a human finger, a wad of Turkish money and a snapshot of a naked ex-convict named Dogmeat. The Photo will be inscribed: "To Dave, my new old lady." "Women: Drink enough of this and you will spend the rest of your life raising malnoruished children in a rusting trailer with a man who sleeps all day. Except for the rapes."

3 Comments:

At 8/17/2005 06:02:00 AM, Blogger raf* said...

SM-

i'll just have a sip of gin&tonic and pretend you didn't write this post.

CHEERS,

--raf*

 
At 8/17/2005 07:00:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

LoL raf,

whatever works for you buddy!

 
At 8/17/2005 01:12:00 PM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

bwa hahahaha....the last one...so funny.

 

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