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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Is that your spawn?

*This just happend* Boss knocks on my office and walks in. (Oh god. What do you want?) Boss: Since you are the one who used to live in the US, you might be the best person to answer this: What do you tell someone who just had a new baby? Me: Ehh, Congratulations? Boss: Well, I thought of saying that. But see, I was just wondering if there is something else they say. Something more american. (Oh Lord) Me: Congratulations on the new baby is what the americans say to each other when someone has a new baby. Boss: You sure they don't have another one, you know, like the phrases we use "May he be raised in your wealth", or something like that? Me: Nope. Congratulations is all you have. At least that's what I know. I could be wrong! (But i highly doubt it, you moron.) Boss: No, no. You are probably not wrong. I even checked the "Yahoo greetings" website hoping to find something other than "congratulations on your new arrival" and found nothing. Me: Hehe! Boss: So it's what, "congratulations on the new arrival"? (Ok, i can't take this anymore!) Me: What's with the arrival? We are talking about a baby, not a plane. It's simple: Congratulations on the new baby. Boss: That's it? Me: Yes, that's it! Boss: Ok, thanks.

You know, everyday i slowly understand why some people come to work with weapons and shoot their co-workers and bosses. Goddamn Idiot!


At 8/17/2005 05:37:00 AM, Blogger Jen said...

"May he be raised in your wealth"

LOL! Do Egyptians really say that, or is that just his take on America?

(Ooh, first!)

At 8/17/2005 06:58:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


Egyptians do say that, and they stuff like "May good keep him alive for you" or "may you see the day when he is married and has his own kids" and a number of other congratulatory sayings when it comes to having kids. He was most likely wondering if there was a cultural equivelant of the "May he be raised in your wealth" phrase.

At 8/17/2005 08:16:00 AM, Blogger aliandra said...

How about "Congratulations. Be careful, they leak".

At 8/17/2005 09:00:00 AM, Blogger JSAllison said...

Congratulations on your new tax deduction.

Congratulations, you're sure it's your's?

Congratulations, he looks just like you, poor kid...

At 8/17/2005 09:02:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

aliandra, lol. I should start using that!

At 8/17/2005 09:04:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


Now those should be official US congratulations phrases. They should make cards in Hallmark that have those on them.

"Congratulations on your new tax deduction."


At 8/17/2005 12:48:00 PM, Anonymous Suz said...

Good stuff today, Sandmonkey! Thanks for the laughs!

At 8/18/2005 04:33:00 AM, Anonymous SAM2 said...

Been there done that...I just translate for them, no need to burn your brains. "May he be raised in your prosperity" and f'n ignorance.....


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