The fight for the civil rights of embryos
It's official, the culture war has hit bottom and started digging. A national anti-abortion group yesterday served the administrators of California's stem cell institute with a federal lawsuit seeking to stop their work on the grounds that the civil rights of frozen embryos are violated by stem cell research. And if that's not funny enough, check out the reasoning: The lawsuit claims the embryo is a person who should be given equal protection under the Constitution, and her destruction violates her right to freedom from slavery. Slavery. Yep, that's right! Freakin slavery. And if any of you are confused about the "right to freedom from slavery" bit since abortion is legal in the states, well, they got that point coverd too: In his appeal of the initial federal case, lawyer R. Martin Palmer argues that Roe v. Wade does not apply in this case because the embryo is in deep freeze and not a mother's womb. Ok, am i the only one who thinks this lawsuit is brilliant? I personally can't wait for the next lawsuit those people will file, which should allow millions of sperm to sue an egg for deadly alienation of affection. Sperm have rights too you know. Ohh shit, wait, if they give sperm rights, does that mean everytime a man masturbates he commits mass-murder? Is that how that will work? So if a woman takes the pill, does that make her an accessory? Will condoms be considerd deadly? Will anal-sex with a woman still be legal? What, you telling me that we may never be allowed to cruise the Hershey-highway again?NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ok, I think i made my point. Will stop now.