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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Monday, August 08, 2005

The fight for the civil rights of embryos

It's official, the culture war has hit bottom and started digging. A national anti-abortion group yesterday served the administrators of California's stem cell institute with a federal lawsuit seeking to stop their work on the grounds that the civil rights of frozen embryos are violated by stem cell research. And if that's not funny enough, check out the reasoning: The lawsuit claims the embryo is a person who should be given equal protection under the Constitution, and her destruction violates her right to freedom from slavery. Slavery. Yep, that's right! Freakin slavery. And if any of you are confused about the "right to freedom from slavery" bit since abortion is legal in the states, well, they got that point coverd too: In his appeal of the initial federal case, lawyer R. Martin Palmer argues that Roe v. Wade does not apply in this case because the embryo is in deep freeze and not a mother's womb. Ok, am i the only one who thinks this lawsuit is brilliant? I personally can't wait for the next lawsuit those people will file, which should allow millions of sperm to sue an egg for deadly alienation of affection. Sperm have rights too you know. Ohh shit, wait, if they give sperm rights, does that mean everytime a man masturbates he commits mass-murder? Is that how that will work? So if a woman takes the pill, does that make her an accessory? Will condoms be considerd deadly? Will anal-sex with a woman still be legal? What, you telling me that we may never be allowed to cruise the Hershey-highway again?NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ok, I think i made my point. Will stop now.


At 8/08/2005 06:45:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A lot of people are offended by the use of embryos in experimentation. The best solution for this is to not use taxpayers money. People who aren't offended can donate their own $$ to the research.

At 8/08/2005 06:52:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Anon: I can understand that, and god knows if they filed a lawsuit for being offneded i would understand it and not make fun of it. But this lawsuit is just redicilous: stem cell research violates the right to freedom from slavery of frozen embroys? Come on...

At 8/08/2005 07:13:00 AM, Anonymous Heretic_Liberal said...

yeah and those asshats can stop spending my tax-dollars on supporting idiotic conservative-rhetoric...faith-based initiatives my ass Bush.

At 8/08/2005 08:12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The embryo is viable only after it has graduated from medical school.

At 8/08/2005 09:40:00 AM, Blogger programmer craig said...

But, SM, surely that's no more ridiculous than the idea that the constitution contains a "right" to have an abortions!

I see your libertarian ways are getting you into trouble again! This heretic liberal thinks you are on his side :p

I have problems on the abortion issue as well. I fucking *hate* partial birth abortions, that's MURDER... I'm sorry, but a 8 or 9 month old fetus is a BABY not a non-sentient collection of cells!

But on the other hand, I can't support an across the board ban on abortion and I don't believe an embryo is a human being. It seems like abortion should be legal, at least under some circumstances, up to some point in the pregnancy.

But that's not what the abortion argument is about. The argument we have instead is an all or nothing one. Abortion is completely legal right up to the time that a baby has been born, currently, and the other side are these... er... "asshats"... that our liberal friend is ranting about, who believe that a fertilized egg is a human being.

Tough issue. It's radiocative for me. I take a beating from both sides whenever I get into it, same as religion.

I really don't understand why the issue is framed in these two extreme viewpoints, though. That's not where the voters are at on this, and both sides lose votes when they use abortion as an issue.

At 8/08/2005 12:02:00 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Thank you. I needed a good laugh!

Seriously; everybody talks about "rights" but nobody can ever DEFINE a right.

So I say:

A right is a moral premise sanctioning and defining a human'
s range of activity in a social environment.

And that moral premise is: Thou shalt not initiate the use of force, either directly or through implication, in dealing with other humans.

A human is a "rational animal." Rational animals must possess a rational faculty. They must also be "animals" and NOT "potential animals" like feti, sperm cells, or what-have-you.

The human brain contains the rational faculty and it EVOLVES its neuronal connections in response to perceptual input AFTER birth. It becomes a seperate UNIT from its mother AFTER the umbilical cord is cut.

That is the truth.


At 8/08/2005 01:29:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate. ....


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