A Sandmonkey Competition
Ok, I really really like this Picture, so I am starting a "Beat this caption" competition. This picture originally had this caption underneath it: "The black Ninjas travel in groups..."
Now, while this isn't a bad caption per say, I don't think it really captured the comedic essence of this picture. This picture has potential man. It needs a better, funnier, caption.
So I am opening the floor to you caption suggestions. Leave them in the comments section, and the winning caption will be posted with this picture again in a new post that will just reak and ooze destniction and praise for the winner's comic genius. Imagine that. The Sandmonkey, Me, dedicating an entire post to praising your wit and humor. If that's not a stroy to tell your grandchildren about, I don't know what is.
So get cracking people. Show the monkey what you got.
Sandmonkey out!
posted by The Sandmonkey @ 11/24/2005 04:14:00 AM
83 Comments:
Woman one left: "Haifa, why are you holding that pole?"
Woman holding pole: "I'm trying to hide this phallic symbol before anyone gets urges. But I'm not Haifa, she is!"
Woman in middle: " Well I'm not Haifa either! I'm Farid dressed in drag; can't you tell?"
"This one won't come loose!"
While most Egyptian women voted for the government candidate, ugly women generally favored the Muslim Brotherhood.
The pole holding chick seems like saying:
يا خسارتك فى الهوا يا جميل
That's easy for you to say.
ok where are you SM ...did you forget ?
my caption would be " pole dancing coming to a place near you "
The one on the left: "Do these glasses make me look fat?"
"ok, which one of you two just tapped my ass"
The pole : Let go of me . HELP HELP . Somebody get that thing of me .
Oh...its so...big..and..hard...
Buy me a drink, sailor?
OK, so her new boyfriend is good looking - but he's still dumb as a post!
(from the movie "Showgirls):
I'm not a STRIPPER - I'm a DANCER!
Damn, lost my contact lenses.
Hey, you two, stop with the chit-chat and come help me find my contact lenses.
What?
You can't see either?
Oh, man, my husband's going to kill me. I have to feel my way home.
jonas
Wait up. My high heels are killing me.
I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts...
New MTV reality show: "Egypt's Top Model"
Behold, the black riders.
/from the Lord of the Rigns
jonas
"I can see your eyelid, you whore!"
"not to be confused with hookers"
"Am I the only one who is naked under this thing?"
Wow, its Egypt's latest hit group, the "Black Vaginas for Allah"
I don't see why those decadent Westerners get so worked up over this "pole dancing" whatchamacallit.
Three blind mice
i wont even try to enter the contest, but i figure i'd cast my vote.
top 3 (in no specific order)
mousey: i can see your eyelid, you whore!
jonas: behold the black riders, LOTR
change destiny: The pole : Let go of me . HELP HELP . Somebody get that thing of me .
Halloweeen in Egypt: trick-or-treaters hit the streets in their new spooky costumes
The Zionist puppeteers were foiled by a last minute change to a green backdrop...
islamic pole dancer
Hey, Sandmonkey. This isn't for the caption contest and it's totally off topic...do you have any idea of what has happened to Miss Ritzy of Egypt? Her blog has been unchanged for weeks which is totally unlike her--no comments or posts from her whatsoever.
If she's trying to scare her readers, she's doing a bang up job of it. Someone reading this blog must have her number. Please call Miss Mabrouk and ask if she's all right.
jonas
I can't breathe
I can't see
OH, excuse me
(sis from the usa)
Sisters! Don't just stand there! Help me! This newfangled Niqab doesn't have a slit.
Note to self: Always buy clothing from a Lebanese boutique.
Standing on the corner watching all the boys go by
What a shallow topic!
"I wish I could see properly, I've just walked into this person again"
SM ..I think I know what you are trying to do; which is take things lightly because the MB induces a fear it seems. And so comedy is always a good cure for fear (that's why I volunteered a caption above).
However, i think that in your previous post 'Makarem's angels' - and here too- you have been somewhat unfair to Muslim veiled women worldwide and have left them figuratively 'naked' for verbal abuse. You know very well that many of the heavily veiled ones in countries that do not have compulsive hijab are the most educated women who have done so by choice and not by force SM. It is a quest for identity which harks bark to the colonialism era the western coloniser made it the subject of debate and the most obvious image of differentiation between the Islamic world and Europe. They (women) have adopted it to differentiate themselves in return. Aren't they free to wear or not to wear what they want?
These people who form a considerable part of the population sincerely believe that their campaigning and their candidates are the solution and it seems they are organised enough and have enough guts to go for it -hijab or no hijab.
I must say though that you have an incredible wit and sense of humour despite the obvious 'offending' subject (to non-westerners at least); these are after all our mothers, sisters and daughters my friend. You , i and others like us may understand your objective and fadfada فضفضة, but other Arabs may not get the message.
It's politics SM ..got nothing to do with getting 'laid' or not as you say . As for prostitutes I'm sure there is no shortage of them at quite affordable prices for all tastes. Sometimes you give the impression that Egyptian men don't have any sex which of course you know is not true ;)
"Sack cloth and ashes...."
I thought you said Black cloth, no patches.
Highlander -
Wearing something because someone wants you to wear something else is not freedom. It is a reaction; and usually a childish one at that. Much like:
Father: Son, I'd like you to do well in school.
Son: You can't make me! I'm not going to study or nothing!
yes anomymous 12.09 am it is exactly what I said a reaction, because no one has a custody over someone to ask them to wear or not to wear something. With your example of son and father you made it sound as if Egypt was the daughter and the West was obviously the father and so the Egyptian women had to listent to the father's advice.
I heard it many times from western educated women that this clothing makes them feel spiritual belonging to a group and different from other women as they are immediately recognizable ( no pun intended). That does not necessarily make it right but it is not wrong either, it's personal. Now if these women have the guts to do something about the political situation in their country then kudos to them even if we don't like their agenda or think it is misguided :), and maybe others can get the hint and start organising themselves. I think the only 2 countries which still enforce hijab are KSA and Iran; everybody else is free in that respect at least. So we are not in disagreement here.
Highlander,
I agree totally with your comments. As long as people do not impose their way of thinking or their dress code on other people, they can be free to do what they can. What I don't like is that some (and not all) of these people do not do that and they go around and telling women to wear the head-to-toe niqab for all reasons,
Egyptian in Germany
You guys don't think the hijab sets the tone of female inferiority?
If not, how come in every nation where the hijab is used is rife with excessive violence towards women, legal discrimination, and of course, honor killings.
As well, we have to be honest by stating that although many women wear the hijab volunteerly, many are pressured by nasty stairs, overbearing family, etc. Chances are, a 6 year old girl never made a conscience choice to hide her body from the masses.
I just feel that the hijab is the most obvious example of male supremecy, and I understand why SM feels the need to protest it through humour.
"If not, how come in every nation where the hijab is used is rife with excessive violence towards women, legal discrimination, and of course, honor killings."
Why don't you explain to us then the violence against women and legal discrimination in the west? Was hijab the reason for it too?
This report was announced today by WHO organization and I quote:
"* In the representative sample of countries included in the report the percentage of women who suffered physical violence ranged from 13 percent in Japan to 61 percent in Peru."
You can read the full report here
http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L21733262.htm
You said:
"I just feel that the hijab is the most obvious example of male supremecy"
So can you explain to us why there aren't that many CEO's in Canada and America that are females?
Thank you anonymous 3.28 am for mentioning the report I was just going to post that link which was also brought up in BBC article yesterday.
Egyptian in Germany : I'm glad you find that we do agree. As for some women going roung trying to convince others to wear this hijab, well I guess it is up to the women to say no don't you think so ? this is a recruitment method like for any organisation and you try to get as much adherent as you can , just like jehova witnesses or born again christians or even a football club each have their own methods and slogans :)
SandMonkey... stop being such a whore... your self-hating-Arab Pro-US attitude is so yesterdays news... no one wants to hear about how you want to choke on an American dick no more... keep that between you and your mother :) (and father :S).. :D
Highlander, I'd have give your argument for tolerance and choice more weight if non-moslems weren't being attacked and victimized in Egypt. The hijab may not symbolize what you think it does, to the rest of the world. And as for choice, I have read SO many stories from women who said they felt they HAD to cover up or they'd be harrassed and abused. They can't all be untrue. That's not really a choice, is it? When society can (and does) protect people who make socially frowned upon choices, that's *real* choice.
Highlander,
I don't know why my name didn't register but I was the anonymous who posted the WHO link.
It was interesting read this from Germany "According to estimates, one in five women in Germany suffer physical or sexual violence at the hands of their partner."
And this from Australia "Domestic violence against women has shot up about 40 per cent in Sydney and more than 50 per cent in the rest of NSW over the past seven years, new research shows."
How can anyone link Hijab to violence and extremism?. If you talk to few Muslims they will tell you that hijab is a ritual and they consider it important. It has no link to women abuse or violence.
In every country and every religion there is some extreme tendencies. Why nobody is picking on the half naked 17 years old in schools? (our high school here in Missouri have 64 girls pregnant not married in last year class)
Why nobody is picking on the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows that brings nothing but humiliation to women and promotes vulgarity and sleeping with several men at the same time.
On my last trip to SF I went to my fav. casual store Old Navy (one of their biggest branches) they carried only two pants that went up to my waist, the whole store was below waist which will show my belly button and part of my butt. I have to say that I'm pushed and harassed by this store to show my belly button and butt which will subject me to violence accordingly.
Based on the remarks I read here men are sexual, vulgar beasts and I hold Old Navy responsible for the rape around the country. This is the kind of logic that is used in this forum and I can sum it up in one word HYPOCRISY.
People who claim democracy should have been encouraged by the fact that people like those Ninja's made a choice and contributed in a democratic elections even if we disagree with their choice.
It seems like we are so full of hate to the point that we have nothing to say but sexual comments on a stupid subject vs. voicing strong opposition to the thugs with swords in the streets of Cairo committing crimes in the day light to prevent voters.
Thanks to Mubarak and his supporter Bush for this sad situation that they call democracy of hypocrisy.
Hi Twosret,
Why is Old Navy your favorite store if they don't sell clothes you like? I don't understand how you feel pressured to wear things you don't want to wear, I'm really curious about this. Is somebody criticizing the way you dress, here in the US?
I really don't think you are being fair in your comparison. However, I agree with you... this topic of making fun of people for the way they dress has been offensive, especially since it also involves religion. I didn't realize it until you and Highlander pointed it out.
SandMonkey... stop being such a whore... your self-hating-Arab Pro-US attitude is so yesterdays news... no one wants to hear about how you want to choke on an American dick no more...
Actually - yes we do want to hear about it.
Why is it that muslims assume someone is an Arab hater if they make fun of muslims? Arabs have been around much longer than Islam - and Egypt has a long and great history that has nothing to do with women dressing like ninjas.
Love the Arab, hate the Islamist!
Hey sisters, wouldn't you just love to use this pole like the girls at the strip club and just let it all hang out.
unfortunately, for better or worse, the hijab has become a symbol of
submission. The public acknowledgement of a women's place to be silent
and anonymous. It is to have no opinion and to attract no attention.
I am not surprised that many women feel "empowered" by becoming nameless
and living behind a mask. Many people who come here and comment do
the same. The all go by the name "anonymous". It is fine if it is
a matter of choice. It is disctinctly NOT fine to take away the
choice. Women have every right to be known as individuals, to
shape world events, and to control their own destiny. Any social
institution that seeks to deprive them of that choice is taking from
them something that was given at birth. Anything taken from a person
without their willing consent is illegitimiate and unjust unless
they first try to take it from another.
"It's raining men, hallelujah"...
Egyptian women in 1919, threw their turkish yeshmiks (very similar to what the ninjas wear now) to the grouund in anti-imperialist demonstrations (A big fuck you to turkish islalmosfacist mysoginism as well as british imperialism).
Egyptian women in the 21st century, potential fuck sluts with vaginas too rogue not to wrap up!
*Woman leans on the pole- arms outstretched- and says, with a sigh:* "Why did I believe this was a form of protest against the west?...I'm sweaty and these leather gloves are pruning my finger tips."
"That bitch copies everything I wear!"
Bin Laden, Zawahiri and Zarkawi out on a lark.
"Let's have a holiday in Cairo, he said, it'll be such fun, he said, and no sooner had the plane touched down from Riyadh than WHOOSH! - he was gone - out all day and night - well, we've had enough of sitting around the hotel room getting indigestion from their room service mezzah plate, we're off for a walk."
OK Girls, this is the way to Uncle Osama's Liquor Store!
(So that's where he been hiding!)
Hot Babes inside!
"My girdle is killing me."
dude, this is getting hard.
Now, to Highlander, Twosret and P Craig,
I am really dying to respond to what you guys said except that I really don't have the time now. Give me a day, ok?
You two go on. These heels are fucking killing me!
AP: 2001: Mohamed El Baradei's crack inspection team returned from Iraq today insisting there wasn't an aluminum tube to be found anywhere in the peaceful country.
"What do you mean, Did I bring my bathing suit? This IS my bathing suit."
This IS my bathing suit."
lol good one- how about this
Damn, this thong keeps riding up my ass!
"Do you think I look like Posh Spice?"
Twosret -
It is interesting that your links come from Germany and Australia as both countries are known to have large, unassimilated ISLAMIC populations.
MUSLIM men in Sydney gang raped girls as young as 14. At sentencing, they asked the court for a leniency based on the fact that everyone knows ISLAMIC cultures have backwards attitude towards women. One of the many victims, we learned during the trial, was not pole dancing or even wearing low cut jeans voluntarily purchased from OLD NAVY. She was an 18-year-old girl, dressed for a job interview in her best suit, sitting on a train, and reading a book. Yet to MUSLIM men, this is an "Aussie pig" and "a slut".
MUSLIMS in Germany celebrated the honor killings of 23-year-old Hatun Surucu, gunned down by her brothers, saying "The bitch deserved it. She took off her headscarf and wanted to live like a German". Imagine that, wanting to live like a German in Germany. Imagine that, wanting to make a choice about what to wear. And imagine that, having your MUSLIM family think of you as less than human for choosing NOT to wear a hijab.
In Denmark an ISLAMIC mufti in Copenhagen, Shahid Mehdi, stated in a televised interview that women who do not wear headscarves are "asking for rape." Mehdi made his remarks in the DR2 program "Talk to Gode," and reiterated his stance in daily newspaper B.T. {note: a mufti is a jurist who interprets ISLAMIC law}
In Holland, Udo Ulfkotte {a German journalist} said he has seen examples of unveiled Moroccan immigrants slashed with a "smiley" as punishment for not wearing a veil. What is a 'smiley'? It is a knife attack in which a girl gets one side of her face cut up from mouth to ear. It punishes her and serves as a warning to other MUSLIM girls who might want to CHOOSE not to wear the veil.
In France, in the MUSLIM area of Courneuve, 77% of the veiled women reported that they only carry the veils because they fear being harassed or molested by ISLAMIC moral patrols. Some have even been killed, such as Sohane Benziane who was burned alive by MUSLIM men. One kept watch, the other poured gas over her set her on fire with a lighter as punishment for refusing to submit to the "norms of the neighborhood".
FREEDOM of CHOICE? Well from a MUSLIM perspective, I guess HIJAB or RAPE is a choice, much like "convert or die" gives you a choice, sort of...
"The punishment of those who wage war against God and His Apostle, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land. (5:36)"
{Note: not converting to Islam, BTW, is 'waging war against God'.}
Crap! Watch your step, I just ran into another fucking pole!
"You idiot, you've got it on backwards!"
"Do I have Visible Panty Lines?"
My vote is
"I wish I could see properly, I've just walked into this person again"
SK
"Does one you guys have K-Jelly?"
I'm sorry, Senator Byrd. We'll never use that dry cleaners, again.
"Me so horrrrrny! Me love you long time!"
2 entries:
French Foreign Minister Cecille Boillot escorts her Belgian and Dutch counterparts along the Champs-Elysees on Monday, November 2, 2019.
40 years after the first hole was spotted in the ozone layer, going outdoors has become a dangerous enterprise in parts of the southern hemisphere. Here, Australian women are seen making a brief foray outdoors to go food shopping. (Reuters file photo, November 4, 2020).
"C'mon girls, let's go over to Jihad Barn & shoplift some mortars & lipgloss."
slight update:
French Foreign Minister Cecille Boillot (right) escorts her Belgian (far left) and Dutch counterparts along the Champs-Elysees on Monday, November 2, 2019.
oops
ATTENTION EDITORS - CAPTION CORRECTION FOR BRA 101-106 TRANSMITTED AT APPROXIMATELY 1040GMT ON NOVEMBER 3, 2019. THE CAPTION INCORRECTLY REVERSED THE IDENTITIES OF THE DUTCH AND BELGIAN FOREIGN MINISTERS. THE DUTCH FOREIGN MINISTER IS ON THE FAR LEFT AND THE BELGIAN FOREIGN MINISTER IS ON THE FAR RIGHT. A CORRECTED VERSION IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS THIS ADVISORY. WE ARE SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. REUTERS PARIS French Foreign Minister Cecille Boillot (right) Belgian counterparts along the Champs-Elysees on Monday, November 2, 2019.
oops
ATTENTION EDITORS - CAPTION CORRECTION FOR BRA 101-106 TRANSMITTED AT APPROXIMATELY 1040GMT ON NOVEMBER 3, 2019. THE CAPTION INCORRECTLY REVERSED THE IDENTITIES OF THE DUTCH AND BELGIAN FOREIGN MINISTERS. THE DUTCH FOREIGN MINISTER IS ON THE FAR LEFT AND THE BELGIAN FOREIGN MINISTER IS ON THE FAR RIGHT. A CORRECTED VERSION IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS THIS ADVISORY. WE ARE SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. REUTERS PARIS French Foreign Minister Cecille Boillot (right) escorts her Dutch (far left) and Belgian counterparts along the Champs-Elysees on Monday, November 2, 2019.
1:11 PM, Anonymous
Please provide us with specifics and perecentages from reliable sources instead of the nonsense you posted.
Jim-Australia
PG,
I was just giving Old Navy and the trends in clothing as an example. I was trying to follow the logic some people are following here. Old Navy used to be one of my fav. stores not anymore :) I'm not into showing butts and belly buttons. I know that Highlander and I sound Odd from the lovely crowd here on the SM Porno site lol!
SM,
Please don't worry about my comments since you are stressed and under pressure, they are not that important;) you have to go through a lot of fun posts here that will cheer you :)
Jim,
According to the 2001 Census, there were 281,578 Australian Muslims. This figure represents around 1.5% of the Australian population. I have no clue what Anonymous is trying to prove ;)
Three Mossad Ladies Channel Islam
Rubin
Oh no! I've forgotten to do my hair before going out! I hope no one notices?!
"National Lampoon's Egypt: Beekeepers Lost in Cairo"
Three horny Jewish ladies going to a temple
"I shaved my head and bought a wig sisters and he won't touch me excpet through the hole in the sheets let me do it the muslim way"
M&M
"The punishment of those who wage war against Allah..." is 5:33, not 5:36. المائدة (Surah 5) also has favorable comments on Judaism and Christianity.
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