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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Monday, February 06, 2006

The Vodafone conspiracy

*Me and BP chilling last night and talking about the Cartoon Global Crisis* BP: I think there is something wrong with us. We don't think like they do. We must be missing something. SM: My theory on this is that there is something in the water that makes people here crazy, and for some reason me and you are immune to it. BP: Hehe..Yeah. (Phone beeps indicating a message) Oh, great. Another message informing me that there will a demonstration in Denmark on Saturday where they will burn the Koran and urging me to forward this to everyone I know. Why do they send me this shit? SM: Hehehe. Bullshit. Wasn't there a message last week how there was supposed to be a demonstration where the danes were supposed to burn the Koran that last Friday? And wasn't there another message informing us of such an incident the tuesday before? BP: Yeah. I know. Who sends this shit? SM: You know who I think sends this? Vodafone. BP: You know, that wouldn't surprise me. SM: Seriously, if I was working there I would be the one sending it out and using the stupidity of the egyptian populace to make money. Imagine how many people forward that shit. Huge SMS revenue. Mobinil is probably in on it too. BP: LOL, can you imagine? I can see them blaming Mobinil and their christian owners for this. (pretending to be an outraged Mulla) "Sawiris- the damn copt- is making money off of you and your pain". SM: Oh yeah. LOL. (fake outrage) Those damn christians. BP: (laughing) Those damn christians.

13 Comments:

At 2/06/2006 12:40:00 AM, Anonymous Einherjar said...

You just made my day! I'll have to reffer all my friends to your site now. I doubt I'll ever stop laughing

 
At 2/06/2006 01:22:00 AM, Blogger egyptiansally said...

Hilarious.

 
At 2/06/2006 01:51:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Sally, you got mail!

 
At 2/06/2006 04:29:00 AM, Blogger Jimmy said...

you know, Sandmonkey, this is just what i have been trying to figure out, who works on sterning things up that way. Today I received a sheet paper handed out in the street with the same contents as the message... May be the paper companies and photocopy owners are involved lol.

 
At 2/06/2006 05:03:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear friends.

There has been no such thing as burning the Koran in Denmark. If it wasn't rude, I would have written it in capital letters.

There has been a big peaceful multicultural demonstration in favour of peace and dialogue with people listening to music.

I ask my self who will benefit from spreading those lies?

Somewhere in Denmark

 
At 2/06/2006 05:27:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, that is a really interesting theory, considering that any time you send or receive a message on your cell phone you are charged!
My son's cell phone bill is huge. When I asked him about it he said that it was people calling him that was driving the bill up.

 
At 2/06/2006 06:21:00 AM, Anonymous truc said...

Hi

Last night, at my job amongst mentally retarded people, we watched the news and saw the muslim riots torch an embassy. One of the habitants of the place asked why they were so mad... I had to answer that they were raving lunatics - he seemed to understand that!

So rioters! The mentally retarded people of the West understands you! For the rest of us? Well we'll have to see...

I won't post where I'm writing from - I don't want my embassy torched.

 
At 2/06/2006 07:13:00 AM, Blogger Mr Holger said...

There is no such thing as burning the Qu'ran in denmark: we are not that stupid!
The only person I could think of is a neo-nazi called Johnny: but we know him, and we would - maybe not beat him up - but get him arrested if we saw him in a bookstore trying to buy that book!

Theres a lot of people living from escalating this conflict - and sorry, I dont think its Vodafone...

Thanks guy's for being real in this unreal time!

 
At 2/06/2006 07:45:00 AM, Anonymous Limagolf said...

Great laugh!

Interestingly and ironically Denmark is probably the most peaceful place right now.

Unlike the Middle East we don´t have retards running around torching property. Unlike Great Britain we don´t have mad islamists promising us new 9/11s and beheadings.

We have had DANISH neo-nazis and radical leftwingers clash in a minor skirmish (which the police was completely on top of, thank you very much), but no Danish/ Middle Eastern islamists burning flags and effigies.

Anyway. Thank you Sandmonkey. It is people like you that restores my faith in humanity and our ability to peacefully co-exist. My usual tolerance have worn wafer-thin over the past week. I don´t like that feeling.

I mean I buy shawarmas from a Kurd named Azad. I get my hair cut by a Turk called Mustafa. I buy my lambchops at a halal-butcher down the street. I absolutely HATE IT that it should have come to this! We´re no fucking racists, we´d just like to live our lives in the 21st century, like we did before.

If you come by Copenhagen I´ll buy you a drink. Promise!

/Limagolf

 
At 2/06/2006 08:37:00 AM, Anonymous the Demon said...

oh yeah!
Those damned christians!!

I hate them too, the ones who did the war for the cross, the ones who burned wifes as witches, scientists for blasphemy.
I still hate the ones, who want to fight others, but those ones aren't really christians, they aren't really christians as the radical moslem martyrs aren't good moslems.

And i cann't find any irony in my words, well, you got plenty of it! and that's good really good...

 
At 2/06/2006 10:05:00 AM, Blogger Egypeter said...

IT'S TRUE:

As a Copt I have to be honest; it is a Christian conspiracy just like everything else in Egypt!

You figured us out SM...lol!

BTW - stay away from that mind-altering water in Egypt. Drink baraka.

 
At 2/06/2006 02:18:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am from Sweden and I read in a Swedish Newspaper named Expressen's homepage this saturday that about 30 Nazi skinnheads was going to burne the Kohran in Copenhagen, but I understand it never happen, but it sure sounded like something this crazy youngsters could do, but they have no official support at all.

Per,
Stockholm

 
At 2/06/2006 03:37:00 PM, Anonymous Limagolf said...

There have been NO attempts to publicly burn the Quran in Denmark.

/Limagolf

 

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