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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

What sex is all about

bling This sign is real. It's part of an effort in Iowa to encourage abstinence amongst young girls, as evidenced by the use of the term "bling" in it. Iowa is street yo. Funky Fresh. All kidding aside, you have to admire the message behind it: It's asking them to wait till they get married not because of any moral or religious reasons, but because there is bling involved and they shouldn't be cheated out of it. It's the old "why buy the milk when you can fuck the cow for free?" piece of wisdom, only given a new hip hop spin to help relate it to Iowa's increasingly "gangsta" youth. The message is this: Don't do it before marriage girls, or you are gonna miss out on all the shiny objects the man is supposed to buy you so you can sleep with him. A moral lesson for the ages, don't you think? God knows I am not opposed to girls preferring to stay abstinent till marriage because they are religious, or think you should wait for someone special or any of those other legitimate( ok maybe a bit corny sometimes, but who am I to Judge?) reasons they could have . But to promote abstinence for jewlery obtainment purposes? How different is that from saying :"Because you should be getting paid for this, girl!"? How about "Don't suck that thing, before you get that bling!" for their next slogan? You getting my point here? Oh well, who am I kidding? Marriage is about money. Nevermind.. So Girls, please remember: Get the jewlery before you get the sex. It's like getting paid for getting laid.

25 Comments:

At 11/30/2005 11:41:00 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

that's a nice funny post SM, but maybe you just got it a bit wrong this time ;) ...they are just saying "wait until you're married " the symbol of marriage is usually a wedding band isn't it ? so this is simply new age terminology for something as old as humankind . If you tell the kids don't do it for religious reasons, many of them are so far lost ...so what's wrong with trying to inculcate some morality with rap songs ;) sometimes my friend you are too cynical ...please learn to trust lol. But are definetely VERY funny ..thanks for making my day.

 
At 11/30/2005 12:20:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As long as people are not forced not to have sex, I have no problem with it.

Of course, this ad won't work on me.

 
At 11/30/2005 01:07:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once upon a time it would have said, "wait for the ring"...not bling...sis from the usa

 
At 11/30/2005 01:59:00 PM, Blogger LouLou said...

SM,

I find it really odd that in this day & age someone still thinks marriage is about money - especially in Middle Eastern culture.

Marriage in our culture is just as expensive for a woman as it is for a man. Infact families save all their lives for their daughter's wedding - especially if they have more than one daughter.

Added to which how many Middle Eastern households today can survive on one income?Unless your parents are very wealthy -which is like what? 10% of the population?- the average family today survives on 2 incomes & they still can't make ends meet. In poorer sectors of our society it's not just the man & the woman who work, even the children work unfortunately.

And if you're not talking about us - which is possible since this post is about Iowa - then you can't seriously be suggesting that American women get married to have a man support them. I've been in the States & most women I've seen there contribute financially to their married households as much as if not more than their male partners.

So where do you get this idea that women get married because we want to get paid to get laid?We pay just as much as you to get married. And in most cases we continue to pay after marriage.You need to get into this century & rid yourself of the idea that it's only men who can make money.

 
At 11/30/2005 02:50:00 PM, Blogger Papa Ray said...

This is priceless:

"Don't suck that thing, before you get that bling!"

Hell, I've always had to pay for that...

One way or the other.

Papa Ray
West Texas
USA

 
At 11/30/2005 03:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

" I've been in the States & most women I've seen there contribute financially to their married households as much as if not more than their male partners.
"

Not true, the average contribution of a working woman is 80% the average contribution of a working man - and this does not take into account the fact that a lot of married women don't work.

But I blame sexism for that, not women.

I don't know for Iraq and Egypt, but paying a dowry is not a common practice in the levant (Palestine, Syria, Lebanon). I know that it's the case in KSA and the gulf.

 
At 11/30/2005 03:25:00 PM, Blogger LouLou said...

Anonymous,

"Not true, the average contribution of a working woman is 80% the average contribution of a working man - and this does not take into account the fact that a lot of married women don't work."

Can that be because women still get paid less than men on average?Anyway my point was that women are willing to work very hard & contribute significantly to their family & their children - if they're in love & committed to their partner.

Personally I didn't meet a single married woman who wasn't working in the 5 years I lived in the States. Except for foreign grad student couples where the wife was accompanying the husband & their government or some scholarship organization was supporting both of them.

Even when dowry is paid these days most of the time it's just the man's contribution to the wedding itself. Weddings are extremely expensive - especially if you live on Third World working class wages and have no other resources like most people in this part of the world. I've seen very few women end up with anything left over from the dowry after the wedding. It's the bride's family who has to invite 500 of their relatives, neighbors & friends & 500 of the man's relatives, neighbors & friends to a big party - sometimes more than one big party. And in most cases if the man provides accomodation it's the woman or her family who have to pay for furniture & house appliances. To me it seems pretty fair that the man should be required to pay something here.

I've known couples who stayed engaged 3 or 4 years both of them working just to save up enough for the wedding & a place to live - if they don't happen to want to stay with their families. So don't tell me that she's waiting for him to pay her to sleep with him. He's costing her every bit as much as she is costing him.

 
At 11/30/2005 03:47:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

يسلم فمك يا لولو
Thank you well said !!!!!!

 
At 11/30/2005 04:34:00 PM, Blogger LouLou said...

Jess,

"My damn fiancee even had the nerve to tell me he wanted to sleep with me because he wanted to make sure no one else would have me..So that me and my bank account and my land would be his..lol Arab men.. dumb ass."

Well you just made my point. You weren't going to marry him because you wanted him to pay you to sleep with him. You already have money of your own. Not all women who get married are prostitutes. It really ticks me off when I hear men saying that because it's so much BS.

And again you're clearly from a privileged class. How many girls or guys in Egypt have land or money for their partners to marry them for?Come on. We don't live in some Disney production of Alf Laila wa Laila here.

We are mostly poor societies so why do poor people get married?

"Most of the women in the states here that work is because they are single and have to support their kids.."

So you don't see any married women working?All American women quit their job & sit at home when they find a guy to support them in exchange for sleeping with him?

 
At 11/30/2005 05:08:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SM,
Don't be so cynical. Marriage is not about money. Maybe to some, but not to most I believe. I have rejected several suitors even though they had lots of money because they lacked character and didn't seem like an individual I could talk to for the rest of my life. My parents are still silly in love after 28 years and I want the same for myself or forget it.

 
At 11/30/2005 05:35:00 PM, Blogger Mohamed A. H. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11/30/2005 06:36:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hate to point this out but this ad says alot. Only 49% of married women in America work outside of the home nowdays so this isn't that far off. Have you never heard of the saying "you get more with a wink and a promise than you do on your back?" Of course women marry to be taken care of, I did and enjoy my life alot. We aren't rich by any means but we do own several properties and do pretty well. The only people who have to both work live in the cities in America. My hubby loves getting a home cooked meal every night with fresh baked bread. Not a thing wrong with waiting for the bling/ring! Happily married for 19 years by the way.:)

 
At 11/30/2005 07:41:00 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

SM,

Are you okay?! seriously, all what you read from this sign is what you explained?! Did anything like pregnant, scared, not married, a fatherless infant came to your mind?!

I'm sorry that your attitude these days are all about SEX but maybe in due time you will read the sign different and may be read the veil different.

Hope your competition is going well and you are satisfied by the dirty results.

 
At 11/30/2005 07:44:00 PM, Blogger Twosret said...

Loulou,

Good to see you here I thought Highlander and I were the only aliens on this blog welcome to the alien blog ring :)

 
At 12/01/2005 12:35:00 AM, Blogger LouLou said...

Jess,

I agree with most of what you wrote in your last 2 posts. Nothing to add really.

Twosret,

Hi. Thanks but am not new here. Have been a regular reader since the Sharm El Sheikh bombings. Just don't often have anything to say.

 
At 12/01/2005 12:59:00 AM, Blogger LouLou said...

" Of course women marry to be taken care of, I did and enjoy my life alot."

That's great. But can you just speak for yourself & leave 'women' alone?

I have no problem with women who do want to get married because they find it too challenging to work & pay their own bills - if it is their choice.

Or with people who don't want to get married or get into anything long-term at all & want to spend their lives having a long series of one-night stands. If that fulfills them well & good.

I do have a problem with those who presume to generalize & speak for the rest of us as if they know more about our lives than we do.

 
At 12/01/2005 08:33:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LouLou, why should I when I do speak for the majority in the USA? Most women in the USA are married, and most 51% don't work. That would put you and your attitude in the minority. I didn't presume to speak for all women, just the majority. BTW, I did work and take care of myself from a very young age and I'd have no problem doing it again if I had to. Your cut was so immature of you and shows very much that you don't understand what is really important in life yet. Have you ever heard the saying "a mind so open their brains fall out"? I see you have been brainwashed by the feminazi, they lead very lonely lives after the age of 40, just so you know.

 
At 12/01/2005 09:01:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is the last time they get "paid" for it.

SK

 
At 12/01/2005 09:38:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

8:33 AM, Anonymous

You won't go anywhere in the work field bimbo. Stay home and let hubby feed your ASS. I bet you are blonde and look like Anna Nicole Smith. Oh Anna Nicole Smith actually works.

 
At 12/01/2005 10:22:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a shame you get so defensive when someone disagrees with your position. The comments are again very immature. No I am not blonde, nor do I sit on my ass. I'd say if you work in an office you do more sitting on your ass in a day than I do. Who cares about going anywhere in the workfield, you speak like that is the only thing you have in your life? How sorry I feel for you if that is true. I know by your style who you are I read your blog (immaturity and all). Besides, as an artist, I can choose to work when I want if I want. I contribute plenty to my household (money isn't everything you know) I do think you might want to ask someone who is over 50 about how those one nighter's are working for her? Men tend to settle down and all that are left are the rejects after a certain age....then comes the dreaded moment that they stop looking (unless of course if you are beautiful (some of us are blessed that way) you are 29 right? that day will come sooner than you think) but that isn't the norm. There will come a very lonely day when you realize all your friends are married and don't have time for you. Talk to you again in 15 years about this, ok?:)

 
At 12/01/2005 11:43:00 AM, Blogger LouLou said...

"LouLou, why should I when I do speak for the majority in the USA? Most women in the USA are married, and most 51% don't work."

I really don't know the source for these statistics. Assuming they're true I don't think 51% is much of a majority & I think the trend is that you're going to be in the minority soon. The proportion of women in the workplace worldwide is increasing. It's just a matter of time.

"Your cut was so immature of you and shows very much that you don't understand what is really important in life yet. "

I wasn't aware that I cut you in anyway. I assume you're the anonymous writer who said women do get married to be taken care of.To me it seems a logical conclusion that women who get married to be taken care of can't take care of themselves. All am doing is taking your comment to its logical conclusion.

"I see you have been brainwashed by the feminazi, they lead very lonely lives after the age of 40, just so you know."

Thanks for the warning but I've never been particularly lonely in my life and I don't expect to at any age in the future - with or without a man. And I do happen to have a man & he'd be pretty insulted if he thought I married him for his bank card.

And yes happily I have been brainwashed by the feminazi.:)

 
At 12/01/2005 06:18:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe anonymous logic. Is she for real? I think it is a HE:)

 
At 12/02/2005 02:54:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Lou lou,

In our middle-eastern culture marriage is most definitely about money, what are you talking about? Here it doesn;t matter how decent of a person you are or hardworking you may be, all that matters is how much you are going to pay for mahr and shabkah and the wedding and the apartment and blah blah blah. The problem isn;t the girls most of the time though; it's their parents. Marriage is hard enough as it is without family interfeering, and families here do interfeere lebokrah el sob7. I have seen people perfect for each other marriages fail because 1) he didn;t have as much money as her parents thought seh deserved or 2) she found out that the whole 7ankafe7 sawa thing to be actually hard work (no servent to help clean or cook or as much money as daddy got her used to) and gave up on the whole thing. Bas this is not the discussion here.Youa re right, this is about the US and not the middle-east.

The thing is, in the US marriage is also about money, but in a different way. Ask any married couple and they will tell you that the #1 source of all of their fights is over money. Bills, credit reprots, tax brackets, mortgage payments, joint bank accounts, visions for their future and retrirment plans, fun stuff. But the thing that I have always noticed in their media is how they relate love and affection to material posessions and gifts: You don't really love her forever unless you buy her a diamond from De Beers, cause De Beers "diamonds last forever"; You don't really show affection unless you have that whole set-up on valentiine's day, where a man has to show how much he loves his woman by getting her gits, flowers and taking her out, etc.. etc.. They connect women's affection to gifts and jewlery to a disgusting degree, and women play along, because who doesn't like expensive gifts and pamepering? And don't forget,those gifts are proof of his love and affection. If he ain't spending money on your ass, he doesn't value you or love you. This campaign works on that same paradigm.

It encourages abstinence not on the moralistic or religious grounds, but on the account of waiting for the "bling". Wait for the jewlery it says. He gotta buy your affection and love, so why not add sex into that equation? If you gonna bang him, you might as well wait till you get some bling out of it. you know?

But anyway, good to see you here. I check your blog sporadically and I never thought you actually checked mine, so me is happy. Mabrook by the way.

Twosret: 7aram 3aleiky, all about sex eih bass? One competition and one post about sex amidsts like 40 posts on politics and international relations and I am a sick sex freak? lol

And yeah, that image of pregnant unmarried and scared came in mind, but not from this ad. This ad is all about the bling yo. That's what I am objecting to and god knows that pregnant, unmarried and scared image is the image they should be using, but chose not to. Read that postbagain ya basha and you will get my point!

Twosret

 
At 12/02/2005 03:44:00 AM, Blogger LouLou said...

SM,

"But anyway, good to see you here. I check your blog sporadically and I never thought you actually checked mine, so me is happy. Mabrook by the way."

Thank you.

I could argue endlessly with some of your points but I won't. Like you said to Twosret this is not the main theme of this blog. It's just something you posted in passing so it's not fair to hound you about it forever.:)

 
At 12/02/2005 05:15:00 AM, Blogger Twosret said...

SM,

My comment was in regards of the latest posts of yours not about your entire blog. If it was your entire blog I would be gone a long time ago.

I will hound you forever though I have to disagree with Loulou! Menata 3aref Lameni wa La kefayet Shari :) Ma2darsh 3ala be3adak.

I'm glad you have a winner but let me tell you if you bring up the veil this disgusting way again "Mosh har7am Omak" LOL!

 

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