The Mineral Water conspiracy

Egypt is a nation of reactionaries who don't think. I just received a phone call that confirms the hysteria that BP has been talking about in regards to our running water. The latest rumor of the day: The Bird Flu virus is in our drinking water, because some farmers threw their infected chicken in the nile. The Horror. The Horror. Better not take a shower Boys, you might get your cock infected (Sorry, had to go there). Better yet, Birds in the air maybe carrying the virus. Don't breath for the next hour or so until the air force chases them away. Can't be too safe now can you? My Boss, on the other hand, has a different theory: That the Water supply people have increased the purifying chemicals in the water out of fear that the virus may spread through that, and are afraid of the effect the chemicals may have on people if they drink it. That rumor is probably bullshit too, because anyone familiar with Egypt's running water knows that the drinkability of the water is the least concern of the egyptian water supply authority. They really don't care! Me, I think this is just another Vodafone conspiracy, and now I am thinking of how to benefit from it perosnally. After all, what's the point of having idiots around you if you don't exploit them? I am now searching the Egyptian stock market for mineral water companies that are listed there and I am buying stocks in them. Lots of stocks. This hysteria should drive people to buy shitloads of mineral water, which will mean the companies' profit will go through the roof, and so will their stock price, making moi mucho dienero. Sweeeeet! I could always use a new pair of shoes!