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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Mineral Water conspiracy

Egypt is a nation of reactionaries who don't think. I just received a phone call that confirms the hysteria that BP has been talking about in regards to our running water. The latest rumor of the day: The Bird Flu virus is in our drinking water, because some farmers threw their infected chicken in the nile. The Horror. The Horror. Better not take a shower Boys, you might get your cock infected (Sorry, had to go there). Better yet, Birds in the air maybe carrying the virus. Don't breath for the next hour or so until the air force chases them away. Can't be too safe now can you? My Boss, on the other hand, has a different theory: That the Water supply people have increased the purifying chemicals in the water out of fear that the virus may spread through that, and are afraid of the effect the chemicals may have on people if they drink it. That rumor is probably bullshit too, because anyone familiar with Egypt's running water knows that the drinkability of the water is the least concern of the egyptian water supply authority. They really don't care! Me, I think this is just another Vodafone conspiracy, and now I am thinking of how to benefit from it perosnally. After all, what's the point of having idiots around you if you don't exploit them? I am now searching the Egyptian stock market for mineral water companies that are listed there and I am buying stocks in them. Lots of stocks. This hysteria should drive people to buy shitloads of mineral water, which will mean the companies' profit will go through the roof, and so will their stock price, making moi mucho dienero. Sweeeeet! I could always use a new pair of shoes!


At 2/21/2006 04:55:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vodafone stocks may be a good idea too.

At 2/21/2006 05:33:00 AM, Anonymous Adrian from Denmark said...

Perhaps Arlas milk becomes popular very soon again :o)

Have it been investigate yet if the birds that carries the disease are jewish birds?
I bet it's part of the zionsists plans....

At 2/21/2006 05:35:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Adria, I wouldn't put it past them.

Damn zionists!

At 2/21/2006 05:49:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So I called, big deal ya3ni
Considering that we're stupid enough to throw dead poultry in the nile, and knowing how credible our local media is and the fact that the rumor had been transformed to say that the source was Al Jazeera.. I guess you can't rule out the possibility..
Anyway, instead of buying mineral water stocks, better see where your stocks are and spread a rumor that this company has found the vaccine or at least cooperated with a multinational that has!

At 2/21/2006 06:17:00 AM, Anonymous Canadian in Cairo said...

Sandmonkey, I have been ignoring sms's coming in on my mobile all morning about this, then my mother in law leaves a message on our home answering machine telling us not to drink the water and I am going, "ok, whatever", then I pick up our kids from school (AIS) and find out they have had the water in the entire school shut off for most of the day!

just think what it will be like in Cairo when the flu really hits...

BTW, great blog. I lurk often.


At 2/21/2006 06:37:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

I don't believe anything until I see it. It is a fact though that Egyptians throw theirdead chickens into the river, they even throw their dead cows in there too. BUT, this time no pictures have been taken, no proof has been shown.
I mean, arent these farms supposed to be filled with press and/or security? Surely someone had a camera with them at the time! If there was no security at these farms then one should cleary question the Egyptian authorities (again).

And like you said, it's just another rumour starting from vodafone to mess with ur liberty and ur security so they gain all they want.

At 2/21/2006 08:03:00 AM, Blogger CMAR II said...


Is the MCS epidemic caused by Muslims swimming in the Nile as well? I is it solely transmitted orally?

At 2/21/2006 08:19:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait a minute, Egyptians are spinning a conspiracy that doesn't involve Israel. I'd say this is an improvement.

At 2/21/2006 08:23:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

maybe its because of your marbleshitdeadhead ghassy.Surely you cant be serious? You dont believe anything till you see it? do you belive in God by the way or the angels & saints?
No one had a camera to film them,so no proof exists! Good gosh, what are we to do now??!
now aside with the marbledwipeclean.
sandy, is it not only egyptians who are reactionary, any primitive society with minimal scientific thinking would react this way toward any rumour. dead animals have long been thrown in the Nile, so why are people worried now if they have been drinking it for decades?? what the bird flu got to do with water?
I guess next they will worry about Maggie,chicken soup, boycott KFC, Tikka & any chicken sandwich in the fast food outlets.

At 2/21/2006 08:38:00 AM, Blogger elengil said...

At 8:19 AM, Anonymous said...

Wait a minute, Egyptians are spinning a conspiracy that doesn't involve Israel. I'd say this is an improvement.

Give em time.

At 2/21/2006 09:21:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

I agree with elengil. The day is still not over!

At 2/21/2006 11:09:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its the JOOOOOOS!!!

At 2/21/2006 11:10:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

oh look jokerslut is back! Just for the record, no I don't believe in god or angels. That's a fairytale for all the ignorant shitheads like u to fall for.

At 2/21/2006 11:52:00 AM, Blogger Hope said...

It must feel great to be the only thinking Egyptian alive. Congratulations!

At 2/21/2006 02:14:00 PM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

Marbledthickasbrick is an atheist!
damn, you caught me unawaress this time. So you do have brains & didnt fall for that fairytale we shitheads fell for, tough guy & smart too, but tell me then, what is your theory about life? How did all this universe come to existence in your scientific opinion? What is the secret of humans & why do humans have a brain, like yourself & others (99% of the worlds population) dont?
if you dont believe in a creator, what created all this then??
im asking you to get answers from one of the most amazing minds of all time, im sure you have the answers to these simple questions otherwise you wouldnt have said what you did with such assertivness, correct? im waiting marbleshittypants

At 2/21/2006 02:14:00 PM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

who is that?

At 2/21/2006 03:02:00 PM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

LOL, jokerfag, you clearly never read about atheism before huh. Anyway, your questions are inevitably basic and ignorant. I'll come argue with you when you read about athiesm you fucking idiot.

Stick to your shitty fairytales about adam and eve. And your liar pedophile prophets. Those stories were meant for idiots like you.

At 2/21/2006 03:04:00 PM, Blogger Crazy Girl said...

What the hell.. I got 3 forwards not to drink water.. My friends know I'm not in Egypt..What the hell! Oh well retardedness seems like a very contagious disease these days..

At 2/22/2006 12:03:00 AM, Anonymous Mike - Denmark said...

In these times: Drink beer! The danes has done it for years, and it doesn't contain any bird flu as water does. All water does. Even that which comes in bottles from France. Even that which contains of melted ice from Greenland (no by the way. That's halfway danish water, and danish water you should buy). Even the water they use in Coca Cola.

Spread this via sms! A lot!

.. and to be politically conscius at the same time: Drink Carlsberg. You'll then support the danish cows - those that has stocks in Carlsberg, that is.

Like me, that is.

And Marblehead and Jokerman: Stop all this loving in public. It makes me blush!

At 2/22/2006 04:18:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

You ALWAYS evade answering question, ALWAYS.
You try to show you are smart, but you are dumb, a halfwit on the verge of bankruptcy, losing all the 4.5 brain cells you have left.
why cant you answer a basic question then?
I know what atheism is already, years ago, you shitbrains.
try to be a man for once in your pathetic existence & answer the BASIC QUESTIONS you claim,you never answer anything at all!!
answer them if you know, cos you sure know as hell you dont know anything, whether about atheism, youre just another sordid dimwit who wants to be different cos he hates everything else. You cant find your place here on earth can you you stupid moron...why dont you fuck off you miserable sod or go kill yourself!

At 2/22/2006 04:29:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

You never write about anything intelectually & the way you evade answering back on issues you know you will lose out if you delve into is very similair to way arabs debate, You ask them a question on any issue & they turn it personal & the easiest way out is to say go find out about it, very typical, & with a name like ghazy i wouldnt put it past you being a an arab who is hiding behind a mask he cant face up to, trying to mingle or hide yourself, feeling shame & overcome with humiliation ( the egyptian who abused you) are major aspects to what you are today, the shithole.
I am wasting time on such a nothing & a loser who has nothing remotely intelligent to discuss.
why dont you laugh again & call me all the names you want, but you know what a loser you are, & more, you have nothing in your head, except a bucket full of vomit.

At 2/22/2006 04:57:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...


How on earth do you expect me to tell you about all of my views on athiesm right now on a post that has nothing to do with athiesm but to do with mineral water? And do you think talking about athiesm and god is something that could be written in just a few seconds? Well if you do, then fuck you.

Oh and by the way, if you're calling me the 'angry' one please read your beautiful comments. Everybody will see who's the angry one.

I did even want to talk to u about anything, but there u are, popping up like the uninvited guest u usually are. And as i said before, all there proof is there, for me, you and everyone else to know who is the angry fucked up one.

And please, if you're saying that this is the way "arabs" debate, then look at the way you argue? who havent written one sentance without anger, swearing or anything uselful basically. It's all a bunch of shit.

And you also use baby talk such as "ghazzy wassy" or "the gyptian that abused you" . HOnestly jokerslut, how am i supposed to have a serious talk with someone like you?

Anyway, unlike you, i read about your lovely religion called islam and christianity and judaism and I read the logic behind all three religions, and figured out that they were all bullshit religions designed to control mindless robots such as you. And if yuo really want to debate about religion, give me ur email, or ur msn, and don't worry, you can come up with a totally new msn account just so we can argue.

That's if you're scared, which you obviously are.

So that's the challenge I offer you. A debate on msn: Islam vs. Athiesm.

And when I win the debate, I don't want you ever EVER writingo n this blog again. And same thing if you wint the debate, I won't ever write on this blog again.

So I'm waiting here. And it's ok to be scared. You don't have to be ashamed of it.

At 2/22/2006 05:41:00 AM, Anonymous jokerman said...

You started with the bad language you asswipe, & you also started with this way of debating, notme, im just playing with you the same game you are shithead.
& i wont comment on your anger or your dumb remarks,they are evident ioncase you hasdnt noticed, you hate almost everything.
you still evade answering simple & basic questions i asked you, I did not ask you to blither on about your beliefs smartjerk, i simply asked you very simple & basic, & as you put it inevitable...& by the way marblejerk, You could not have read much about the 3 religions so dont try it even, there is nothing in them that controls others via clerics or clergy or rabbis, & so dont pretend to use logic or objectivity either, you could say this to sound smart, that the followers are dumb in some way but why dont u want to discuss it here?
afraid of showing what a sore loser you are? afraid of showing a poor thought? you are using rhetoric that has by passed its expiry date you old sod, & why would i be scared? why cant you answer any questions to see what logic do you have in your mind, if we can call it a mind? why do i have to exchange any emails to discuss it when it can be discussed here? afraid of discussion you wanker? im not afraid simply cos i have discused issues with idiots like you before, sorry, they werent idiots like you, they had some brains, you dont have one, you have shit & vomit still....thats the only way to debate with shitfull of dumbfucks like you..asnwer anything in clear language & as i told you before, sod off wanker, you are way out of your league.

At 2/22/2006 05:49:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

I take that challenge vomitbrains.
Dealing with ISLAM not MUSLIMS, there is a difference, so you know seeing as youre a stupid fuck who will want to mix everything.
Would you like to extend it to the torah & bible too????

At 2/22/2006 05:50:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...


there you go again with all the anger. First of all, let me remind you, that when I used the "anger" way of arguing, I was actually arguing with anyone, I just put a post up. But anyway, you can believe what you want to beleive. I'm not going to talk about anything to be honest, all I can say is that you are a fag. You probably too scared to even come up with a fake MSN account to have a debate with me.

And don't be fucking stupid, a debate on a blog? What are you kidding me? Debates need to be real time, so chats are the best way to do it. And you can go to an internet cafe if you're really a pussy who thinks I'll fuck your computer up with a virus. Just thought I'd let you know.

You probably want it on a blog, so you can take you sweet ass time looking up the stuff you have no clue about.

So it's up to you. My offer still stands, if you want to debate, I'm right here waiting for the E-mail. If not, then please don't post anything here again, because, right infront of anyone in this blog, you are a fucking cocksucking faggot.

See ya Pussy. And say hi to your mom.

At 2/22/2006 05:52:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

If you're going to take the challenge than send me a fucking e-mail so I can add you, you fucking idiot.

Right off the bat, you're fucking stupid.

At 2/22/2006 05:53:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

And no, fuck the turah and fuck the bible. You're a Muslim, and you believe in Islam. Then we have to use the Quran.

At 2/22/2006 05:55:00 AM, Anonymous jokerman said...

You will have to answer everything & clearly, i know how some atheists love to beat around the bush & prolong on things before they can answer anything & when they do, it never makes sense, just like religious fanatics trying to twist around any verse they can find, what will you twist around other than logic, seeing as you have not answered anything & used rhetoric of primary schools like a sorry sod you are.
i wont use your teenager method of are you scared stuff, thats ancient, answer clearly & logically, & people will see for themselves & comment.
mashi ya ro7 omak?

At 2/22/2006 05:57:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

haha manta betetkalem 3araby kewayes aho. Bravo 3aleek.

Alright, I'm waiting.

At 2/22/2006 05:59:00 AM, Anonymous jokerman said...

why send you an e-mail? i thought you had some balls to discuss it out in the open you cocksucking parasite, why not here then? ahhh, you are used to he dark you slutty little paedophile, i get you, sorry mate, no can do...wanna discuss anything, try & leanr to make it in the open, ok you miserable sod!?

At 2/22/2006 06:00:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

lol, ok here would be better for you I guess. Got all your books ready pussy sweetheart?

At 2/22/2006 06:01:00 AM, Anonymous Jokerman said...

who the fuck told im muslim? & why not the BIBLE & the Torah? can deal wih them or what? you did mention shitbrains that you read three of them, so why not discuss them all & i insist on the three of them, in regards to the creator - creation - judgment - life. okie dokie
try to wash your mouth first bitch, you reek of stink!

At 2/22/2006 06:02:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

Oh so youre not a Muslim? What are you then?

At 2/22/2006 06:05:00 AM, Anonymous jokerman said...

since you want to discuss it, i would suggest you mature up & talk sense, try to live up to your words, if there ever was, anyways...i would like for you to answer my basic inevitable questions, it should be easy for you, right? cut with the swarign crap & mature now, the curtain is about to be raised, try & be smart as much as you like.
There is no need to give you any E-mail since we want this infront of others, im sure you wont mind ofcourse, try to wassh your mouth & speak properly, we dont you missing out on anything.

At 2/22/2006 06:19:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

First of all jokerfuck, I'm a 'weak' atheist, which means I don't know if God exists or not, I don't believe he does, BUT I can't take out the possibility he doesnt. I don't know how the world came into place, there are tons of theories that make sense, from your simple adam and eve shit to your big bang shit. But, what we were arguing about wasnt the existence of God or anything, I was arguing about religion. I don't believe in religion AT ALL. Yeah it might be a mixture of atheism and agnosticism.

So like I said, I can't prove the existence of god you dimwit, and neither can you. If I want to prove that god doesnt actually exist, there are so many theories to back it up. So it's a useless fucking arguement. I don't know, but I don't think so. That's all I can say.

But what I do know is that your religious shit don't provide suffiecent proof that god really does exist. Like I said it's all a bunch of fairytales for idiots, because at the time they needed to control these idiots. So for me, it's surprising that every single religion has so many contradictions but people in the 21st century still fall for it.

I don't know if you're a muslim or not, but Islam is the most religion im familiar with because I grew up a muslim, and I can tell you things about Islam as a whole, the Quran, The hadith, the prophet that could all contradict one another, and could all prove that this religion is actually a fake. And the same thing goes to the vulnerablilty of christianity and judaism.

I'll go finish off my cigarette and I'll be right back. Reply, and by the way, the "debate" hasnt started yet. this is just introductory shit

At 2/22/2006 06:42:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


Can you continue having this debate somewhere else? I think I am speaking for everyone here when I say that this has went on long enough, and that we are sick and tired of you two insulting each other. Stop it!

I am not saying don;t comment, but can you do that without , I don;t know, insulting eachother 5 times per hour? And can you not try to instigate fights? I am all for a good fight, but this one has kinda of drawn out and it's not particulraly fun to watch. I guess what I am trying to say is:


Glad we have this talk guys. Really. Stay here and enjoy your stay.

And while we are at it:

Egyptian Observer, if people are impressed with your comments, they will use your username to get to your blog. Stop harassing them to do so by urging them to "visit your blog" every 5 minutes. Ok?

Thank you guys,


At 2/22/2006 06:43:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2/22/2006 06:46:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

Sorry sandmonkey, I swear I tried to break the shit up hours ago, and you have proof on your blog, this one and the "taxi experience" blog.

Sorry man, and by the way, respect. I really enjoy your blog man, keep up the good work.

Oh, and I borrowed some stuff about the "taxis" in my blog, just hope you don't mind that lol. It's actually very different , but you reminded me how fucked up taxis ar ein Egypt.

Take care, and good luck.

At 2/22/2006 06:48:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

It's all good marblehead. I get it. However, I will remove the last comment you left before this one, that urges the continuation of this fight. Just to help end it, u know?

And no, me don;t mind at all any borrowing ya 3ammy. No problem!

At 2/22/2006 06:54:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

and back to this blog...Is the water still safe? Because I've been getting lots of "don't shower because the water is contaminated with bird flu."

At 2/22/2006 07:19:00 AM, Anonymous jokerman said...

As ugly as swearing is I didnt start it & i was looking forward to such an open debate though intelectual & wouldve been doubftul in such circumstances. & as for that kick,sandy, save it for your future battles when you will need it.

At 2/22/2006 07:49:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Ok Boys, kiss and make up now. The sexual tension is just too much! :P

At 2/22/2006 09:00:00 AM, Blogger The Marblehead Ghazy said...

Im sorry jokerman.


How about dinner sometime?

At 2/22/2006 11:08:00 AM, Blogger scandiwoman said...

AHEM! Now back to the real issue, that is, the ingenious zionist plot to rid the world of all egyptians through contaminating trained kamikaze pigeons with the deadly strain of bird flu and then sending them to roam around Egypt. I received confidential information that may save your life: stay away from the ones that only eat kosher.


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