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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Oooohhhhhhhhh

My co-workers were jumping up and down from excitment today at what they have concluded to be a sure sign from god that this cartoon crisis has been pre-ordained and foretold by Allah himself. Their proof? The 57th verse from surat Al Ahzab in the Quran, which says the following (3 translations present): YUSUFALI: Those who annoy Allah and His Messenger - Allah has cursed them in this World and in the Hereafter, and has prepared for them a humiliating Punishment. PICKTHAL: Lo! those who malign Allah and His messenger, Allah hath cursed them in the world and the Hereafter, and hath prepared for them the doom of the disdained. SHAKIR: Surely (as for) those who speak evil things of Allah and His Messenger, Allah has cursed them in this world and the here after, and He has prepared for them a chastisement bringing disgrace. What's so significant about that? Well, you see, the product code that identifies products that are made in Denmark is ...you guessed it...57! It's on the barcode of every danish product. Freeaaaaakaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! Spooked out yet? You ready to believe now? Repent you danish Infidels you! The Product code of your country goes with the # of the verse. Surely that is proof that your government better apologize and declare Sharia laws or else suffer the wrath of God, no? LOL This I am sure will go to the Urban Legend Hall of Fame, the same way the flight Q33NY thing did. What? You don't know what I am talking about? Check it out: Open Microsoft Word and do the following: 1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers. 2. Highlight the Q33 NY. 3. Change the font size to 48. 4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS And prepare to be spooked and shocked by the ultimate proof that 911 was orchestrated by the JOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZ. See? We told you so. We told you. But you just didn't listen. But You can't hide things from Microsoft. Microsoft knows all. Too bad that the flight number of the first plane that hit the twin towers was actually American Airlines Flight 11. Wait a minute! Hold on! 11, as in 9/11? WHOA..... sigh....

19 Comments:

At 2/14/2006 02:36:00 AM, Blogger Crazy Girl said...

Oh great here they go again..Will it every freakin end?

 
At 2/14/2006 03:29:00 AM, Anonymous Kevin said...

They should do the 'bible code' thing on the Quran - take every second letter, then every third, then every fourth and so on, and then look for a sequence of letters saying 'Death to Denmark' or 'Down with Danes' or 'Danes shall die' or something. It will keep them quiet for a while. They might find instructions to kill Estonians and Peruvians too. Won't that be fun.

 
At 2/14/2006 03:51:00 AM, Blogger Jimmy said...

you got complete retards at work, buddy!
LOL, nice one about the 9/11 and the twin towers lol.

 
At 2/14/2006 05:24:00 AM, Blogger Blogspat said...

Barcode issued by Denmark has the number 570 (-579).
057 is a barcode for coupons.

 
At 2/14/2006 05:28:00 AM, Blogger Fonzi Kermit said...

Hey here's one clue to the real meaning, tell your colleagues: The OIC has 57 member countries ;)

 
At 2/14/2006 06:00:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The science fiction writer Isaac Asimov (dunno if he was jewish, or not) once wrote an article about numerology, and how easy it was to find "significant" numbers. See, he said, here I will start merrily making stuff up......

He got replies from people seriously contending that his article PROVED that numerology was TRUE. So he wrote another article about that....tee hee hee.

Valerie

 
At 2/14/2006 07:27:00 AM, Anonymous Angie said...

I don't mean to be rude Sandy...


But don't these people have any work to do over there?

 
At 2/14/2006 07:46:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Angie,

what, like I do?

 
At 2/14/2006 07:57:00 AM, Anonymous Angie said...

LOL

When can I submit an appliction?

 
At 2/14/2006 08:12:00 AM, Blogger Blogspat said...

This is a fun game. Work has stopped and we are using our energy on finding great proofs for this and that.

The egyptian barcode starts with 62 (actually 622.. but lets skip details.)
Al-Baqara vers 62: Lo! those who believe (in that which is revealed unto thee , Muhammad ) , and those who are Jews , and Christians , and Sabaeans whoever believeth in Allah and the Last Day and doeth right surely their reward is with their Lord , and there shall no fear come upon them neither shall they grieve.

Now that's revelation!

But then again who are we to contradict the words of the Koran...
"..no one knows its true meaning except Allah" (Surat Al-Imran 3:7).

 
At 2/14/2006 08:17:00 AM, Blogger Blogspat said...

Sorry I didn't mean contradict, I meant comprehend..

 
At 2/14/2006 09:04:00 AM, Blogger aliandra said...

O Imams, Heinz Ketchup has 57 varieties. Is it a satanic condiment?

 
At 2/14/2006 11:00:00 AM, Blogger Beth said...

OMG, that Word thing is hilarious! I'd never heard of that one! hahahahhhahaahaaa

 
At 2/14/2006 01:00:00 PM, Anonymous Mohamed said...

My favorite egyptian urban legend, was about the Ariel detergent and how if you added isr to ariel it's going to be israel, well no, it's going to be isrAriel dumbass (as far as I know we have perfect relations with IsrAriel), but that still didn't let the genius who came up with this landmark discovery and his beatifully minded followers to give up, they just had to outdo themselves and keep staring at the Ariel logo for 30 days non stop (to reach the hallucination point), to come up with the ultimate revelation that we've all missed, the ariel logo is a star of david. True story guys, not a joke.
As much as you annoy me SM, I absolutely hear you on this one bro, I had the same exact kind of coworkers (they usually come prepackaged in sets of fives, four opinionated know it all retards constantly eating something with a lot of onions in it, the exact kind that sinked the titanic, and one nice guy who agrees with you on everything, but only voices his opinions to you, when no else is there), don't remind me man, those guys were all self proclaimed experts in law, politics, military strategy and medicine (el teb el nabawy was a big hit among them, they used to exchange teb nabawy references everyday), yet ask them about engineering, which is their field of work, hmm, not important.
Well Angie, that's the beauty of egypt, you don't really have to work much, and there's always the one cosciencious guy at the whole office (usually a prepackaged introvert genius) who makes sure no major catastrophes would take place.

 
At 2/14/2006 02:16:00 PM, Anonymous jokerman said...

Mohamed
Pity they waste their time in things that are obsolete & refrain from exchanging references that would enlighten them. There is no such thing as tebb nabawy, why dont they read some history to know how ignoant they are in their own history.
Why dont they read for themselves & stop listening to tapes? Why cant they open their eyes a bit to see whats between the lines in the quran instead of repeating verses they have no idea what was its purpose.

 
At 2/14/2006 04:00:00 PM, Blogger Meg Q said...

"Hey here's one clue to the real meaning, tell your colleagues: The OIC has 57 member countries ;)"

Yes, but Fonzi, don't you see that the deity (as an infidel, I should not say his name) has planned it that way???

 
At 2/14/2006 07:48:00 PM, Anonymous Alaa said...

you do realize that the order of soras and numbering of ayat has nothing to do with the chronological order of the revelation. the current way we organize the quran in a moshaf was invented by normal human beings years after the prophet died.

that is not even controversial information, it's well known and well recorded historical facts.

it gets more interesting when you move towards controversial issues, Hussein Ahmad Amin wrote once in Al Hilal magazine about the study of the real chronological order of the quran and how the order of ayat inside soras does not reflect real chronology, and how there are few cases where a sora that is deemed makeya has ayat that are deemed madaneya etc.

but what difference would logic, historical facts, or even common sense do when people are willing to believe god is putting easter eggs in her holy book.

kinda reminds you of douglass adams.

 
At 2/15/2006 12:47:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i will never buy wingdings from a jewish nyc street vendor again. freeaaaaakkkkkyyyyyyyyyyy!

btw, windigs also has pictures of a bomb and the little half-moon with star thing that is the muslim logo. im sure we can put some numbers together from one of the many dates that muslims have blown something up and come up with another cool thing like the nyc/jewish one.

 
At 2/15/2006 07:27:00 AM, Blogger CMAR II said...

oh! So the Prophet Muhammed (p.b.u.h) wrote the Quran WITH VERSE NUMBERS!! I didn't realize that! I just *assumed* someone put those in later. I'm such an ignorant infidel.

 

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