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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Friday, January 14, 2005


Heather MacDonald at Slate had just came up with the "perfect soloution" to prevent future Tsunami's, natural catastrophies and other examples of the Lord's wrath: She wants all of us to Boycott God! I am not kidding! Here is her reasoning: Centuries of uncritical worship have clearly produced a monster. God knows that he can sit passively by while human life is wantonly mowed down, and the next day, churches, synagogues, and mosques will be filled with believers thanking him for allowing the survivors to survive. The faithful will ask him to heal the wounded, while ignoring his failure to prevent the disaster in the first place. They will excuse his unwillingness to stave off destruction with alibis ("God wasn't there when the tsunami hit"—Suketu Mehta) and relativising ("for each victim tens of thousands yet live"—Russell Seitz), even if those excuses contradict God's other attributes, such as omnipresence or love for each individual life. Where is God's incentive to behave? He gets credit for the good things and no blame for the bad. Former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft is fond of thanking God for keeping America safe since 9/11; Ashcroft never asks why, if God has fended off terrorist strikes since 9/11, he let the hijackers on the planes on the day itself. Was God caught off guard the first time around, like the U.S. government? But he is omniscient and omnipotent. So, whats the plan again? It is a sad fact of human relations that unqualified adulation often produces from the adored one contempt and a kick in the chops, rather than gratitude and kindness. Apparently, the same applies to human-divine relations. So, let the human race play hard to get. Imagine God's discombobulation if, after the next mass slaughter of human life, the hymns of praise and incense do not rise up. He checks the Sunday census; the pews are empty. Week after week, the churches and mosques are unattended; the usual gratitude for his not wiping out even more innocent children does not pour forth. He starts to worry. Has he gone too far this time? Maybe he should've exercised his much heralded powers of intervention, the same powers that his erstwhile worshipers presupposed every time they prayed for him to cure a cancer victim, or get them into law school. And so, no longer guaranteed an adoring public, he starts to make nice. He calls back avalanches poised to wipe out whole villages; he brings rain to drought-stricken communities; he cures fatally handicapped babies in the womb, or prevents such flawed conceptions before they happen. He presents tokens of his love to malaria victims and children paralyzed by auto accidents. Africa blooms with peace and prosperity. Aww, so that's what it's gonna take to make the world a perfect place to live? Why didn't we think of that? I mean it seems so simple, boycott god and he will make things so much better; and of course- in return- we will give him credit then for a job well done. You know, the same way Democrats give Bush credit for keeping the US safe from Terrorist attacks since 9-11? What has it been now, more then 3 years and not a single terrorist attck on US soil? Ask any Bush-hater if they are gratefull to Bush about that the next time you talk to one of them. It should be a fairly interesting conversation. I am sure he will give credit where it's due, cause we humanbeings are fair like that! But what do i know?


At 1/14/2005 11:44:00 AM, Blogger Josie said...

I figure she was trying to be funny, but that chick should've read my blog before she wrote that! She would understand everything, LOL.

But basically that's what the true secularists want to do - boycott God. You know, because religion is the source of all our troubles, and if we'd just rely on mankind & forget about all that deity stuff, we could finally be happy, loving & peaceful.

At 1/15/2005 10:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cephas here.

The boycott of God isn't funny--and not just because I'm a practicing Christian.

Back in 1979, the liberal media thought of a great way to get back at the Evangelical Christians who were deserting the olf New Deal coalition in droves: label the Iranian revolution of Khomeini and Co. "fundamentalist" (did anyone ever hear of Islamic "fundamentalism" before that time), suggesting that the Evangelicals (to whom "fundamentalist" was originally applied as a theological rather than political epithet). Well, years later, in 1992, I met a Malaysian who had a reputation for being pro-American and hoping that the Cold War coalition would hold. He asked me, "If America is against fundamentalism, does that mean I am now an enemy because I pray five times daily, won't eat pork, and hope to make the hajj?" i.e., he knew "Fundamentalist" Christians were just practicing Christians, and did the verbal math. Frankly, that's what I remember when I read about the bombings and terrorism in the Islamic world. I hope the NYTimes editorial staff is proud of itself.

"Sandy", my guess is that after Heather gets her way and we have a world that is truly God-forsaken, she'll rant and rave against "nature" or something else. As far as I'm concerned, after living in societies where the bulk of the people are not Christian, Muslim, or Jewish and seeing how their religions work, I've come to the conclusion that a "secularist" is just someone to stupid, intellectually lazy, or dishonest to name the man-made idol he worships.

At 1/16/2005 05:17:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


You said : "As far as I'm concerned, after living in societies where the bulk of the people are not Christian, Muslim, or Jewish and seeing how their religions work, I've come to the conclusion that a "secularist" is just someone to stupid, intellectually lazy, or dishonest to name the man-made idol he worships."

I dunno if you noticed, but on the description for this blog i mention that i am a secularist as well, and i don't believe myself to be stupid or intellectually lazy. This secular standpoint of mine stems from the idea that no matter which faith i believe is right- and i do have my own preferance- i have seen what kind of influence having a state religion can do to a country. Don't get me wrong,I agree with you that christians ( and other people of faith) are in many ways unjustly villified in the US. My view on being secular is basically to ensure that no one- no matter what their belief system may be- may be treated unfairly due to their beliefs. That means i will stand by your right to worship god the same way i would stand by someone else right to not worship anything. There are, however, those who use secularism to advance a certain agenda that aims to remove religion from every aspect of people's lives, aided by misguided others who truly believe that certain religious beliefs oppress other religious beliefs. I do not agree with them the least bit. I say display the baby jesus statue next to the mannorah and the koran and the buddha statue instead of trying to remove one and promoting the others for diversity's sake. I say if people want to pray in school then that's fine, but it shouldn't be mendatory for all students. I say let people's faiths battle eachother in the public Arena of ideas instead of declaring some more suitable or friendly or politically correct then others. Being secular in my opinion means to be able to have your own religious beliefs without imposing them on others or having others' religious beliefs imposed on you. If that makes me dishonest, stupid or intellectualy lazy then i am glad to be all those things!


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