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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Friday, February 17, 2006

and you thought "freedom fries" was dumb

Shit, I never thought anyone would ever do something dumber than when a US congressman with too much time on his hands renamed french fries into freedom fries in the US congres cafeteria. That was slated to remain on top of the "hollow stupid gestures" mountain for a long ass time. But lo and behold, the iranians have actually managed to knock it off its top spot with their newest idea: rename danish pasteries as “Roses of the Prophet Muhammad". Bakeries across the capital were covering up their ads for Danish pastries Thursday after the confectioners' union ordered the name change in retaliation for caricatures of the Muslim prophet published in a Danish newspaper.

"Given the insults by Danish newspapers against the prophet, as of now the name of Danish pastries will give way to 'Rose of Muhammad' pastries," the union said in its order.

"This is a punishment for those who started misusing freedom of expression to insult the sanctities of Islam," said Ahmad Mahmoudi, a cake shop owner in northern Tehran.

Ohh yeah. That will show them. LOL...


At 2/17/2006 04:35:00 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

I wonder if you will get a punishment if you still order Danish pastries instead of Roses of Mohammed in Iranian bakeries...

At 2/17/2006 04:42:00 AM, Blogger Cindy said...

Eating a Muhammad. Doesn’t this just bring on a whole new line of jokes?

At 2/17/2006 07:23:00 AM, Blogger Mortiferex said...

I AM STUNNED. One thing is freedom of speech. But FREEDOM OF PASTRIES. If I wasnt shaking my head in wonder, I would cry. Anyway, a Danish, by any other word, is still a Danish. (Take that you Iranian sugarjunkies, you)

At 2/17/2006 08:16:00 AM, Anonymous Thomas Christensen said...

So the pastry is now a depiction of Mohamed? It's okay to bake and eat the guy, but not to make a drawing.

Great find. Some of the funniest stuff in this ongoing farce.

At 2/17/2006 08:26:00 AM, Blogger EducSubNorm said...

I shall replace all references to the Prophet by the phrase "that unknown inventor of pastry".

At 2/17/2006 08:34:00 AM, Blogger EducSubNorm said...

The world's bakers are having a hard time this week ...
A school in Suffolk has banned hot cross buns - in case they offend pupils from religious minorities.
Head teacher Tina Jackson asked for the crosses to be removed from all buns supplied by caterers in case it upset some of her pupils who are Jehovah's Witnesses.
Miss Jackson, of The Oaks primary school in Ipswich, said: "For our students who are Jehovah's Witnesses, hot cross buns are not part of their beliefs.
"We decided to have the cross removed in respect of their beliefs."

At 2/17/2006 08:41:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If depicting the Prophet Mohammed is such a crime, shouldn't then using his name in a trademark (this could also be seen as an act of greed) be even worse?

At 2/17/2006 10:26:00 AM, Blogger elengil said...

Good question.. will people start to worship the danish because of the name?

At 2/17/2006 11:39:00 AM, Anonymous Marianne said...

A funny twist to this story is that Danish pastry is called wienna bread in Denmark; because it was first introduced by bakers from Wienna.

Another funny twist is that muslim immigrants wanted Danes to change the name of a special kind of christmas cookie, because the muslims was offended by the name.
It is called a jewish cookie, but has nothing to do with the jews in any way.
No one knows why it has this name - and in any case it is just a name.

At 2/17/2006 12:36:00 PM, Anonymous ccn said...

"A Danish", as you know it...or knew it... has in fact a nickname in danish: "the bakers bad eye", because it can look a little sloppy somtimes with all that jam

At 2/17/2006 01:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard about the 'Jewish Cookie incendent'. What a bunch of intolerant fascist hate filled racist bastards. Offended by a cookie? puh-lease!

At 2/17/2006 03:24:00 PM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Marianne, in Denmark? Jews cookies exist in the Netherlands as well. Some people don't mind the name, some people do.

Samuel goes to the bakery and asks the baker how many raisins there are in his raisin bread. The baker says that he has no clue. The next day Samuel asks again how many raisins the baker has in his raisin bread. The baker answers angrily that he doesnt know. THe third day Samuel has the guts to ask again, how many raisins the baker has in his bread. The baker explodes shouting at him: like if I can tell youw how many Jews I'd put in the Jews cookies!


Anyhow, in the Netherlands there are also "negerzoenen" (nigger kisses) for sale as well; guess they are better known elsewhere as angle kisses. There is also a pastry in one particular place called "nonnenvotten" (buts of the nuns).

Shrug. They are pastries. It's fun to be called after a pastry, I believe. :)

I do object though towards stereotyping in language itself. check this article to know what I meant. Check also the comments.

At 2/17/2006 04:02:00 PM, Blogger Blogspat said...

Aschhh - I'm a bit late in this post - but there is a much more funny twist to the "Rose of Muhammed" name. The guy responsible for printing the cartoons is called... Rose!

(Now there is a scaary sign sent from above).

Apart from that Sweden also used to have "Neger bullar" (Nigger rolls) but ahhh some one won a court case and they had change that name too...

At 2/18/2006 01:21:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sandmonkey, what an interesting site, you have created here. Being Danish, I guarantee you, that I never will look at Lurpak quite the same way, I once did.

JP didn’t excuse bringing the cartoons, they excused that peoples feeling had been offended by doing so. And that excuse is honestly, and 99% of the Danes feel the same way, because we aren’t mean people having fun by hurting other people – NEVER! I anybody don’t believe that, then ask Muslims living here (Don’t ask the extremists though…)

What JP was trying to point out, was that they had ascertained an increasing self-censoring, diving deeper into the matter only unveiled they were sadly right. People didn’t want to speech out about issues concerning Islam; because they were (and still are!) affright of reprisals from extremist’s i.e. sudden death for not only them self, but also perhaps to their families.

In the past years extremists Muslims in Denmark have been more and more out of line. Actually they broke the law numerous of time, that issue I will return to.

To protect our values, JP printed these cartoons: to measure the climate in Denmark between Danish and (extremist) Muslims, and to measure if the Old Danish values were in danger. It was very courageous of JP to print these cartoons – if there were no response, their fear was groundless, if there was a response, they were right… yah, were they right or were they right?

Freedom of speech and freedom itself truly is the most valued things in Denmark, and so it should be in the rest of the world, we think. It’s the breath we breathe, and simply the basic for democracy and enlightening. It’s through that freedom; Denmark has become a rich country not only economically, but also at the cultural and intellectual plan. If anybody disagrees in those principals, please tell me what’s better for men and woman than to be free.

Neither the parliament in Denmark nor the “common” people or the Queen have any rights what so ever to even attempt to control the press, or for that matter, control each other. IT’S AGAINST THE LAW – it’s as simple as that. Of cause there are at lot of legal rules, just like traffic rules; if I called Ahmed an idiot, he is entitled to drag me to court - so I wouldn’t do that! In Denmark, conflicts are solved in court, if we cannot solve them our self. But usually, it doesn’t go that far, we are trying to talk things through and comes to agreement.

The Danish people also resist very much against any form of religious force. We will NOT in any way allow other people to judge or suppress us, nor accept any restrictions in our way of living, dictated of a religion, not from the Christian Bible, and not from the Koran either.

You might think this sounds very uncompromising, and I can assure you that it is. But we are entitled to that attitude without interfering from the outside world, because we don’t kill people in Denmark, or for that matter, blow anybody in a Mosque to pieces in the name of God or Jesus Christ. Here is a real challenge to any doubting Muslim: go back 50 years or more if you want, and try to find one single incident, where a Danish citizen have killed anybody in the name of God and/or Jesus Christ….. Try it….. I’m waiting in excitement, but I won’t keep my breath while you are searching (haven’t got a particular death wish)

It is exactly the same uncompromising attitude which allows religious freedom as well in Denmark, everybody is entitled to believe in any religion they want, and of cause also entitle to not believing in anything at all.
No person have the right to judge another person on the background of the way, he or she lives their life (as long it doesn’t violate the Danish law). So Muslims don’t have any right to judge any person at all, who disagree with them, they should leave that up to Allah - but it seems some Muslims don’t trust Allah to be able to look into the heart of non-Muslims.

Most Danish people are not at all afraid for the day of judgement. Let’s say, that Gods name is Allah: “hello there” he says. “I have noticed that you from time to time have been a naughty girl, but also that you have done a lot of good things for people.” “I also have noticed, that you have never killed anybody, and I can see in your heart, that you a nice person”. “You’re in, remember to wipe of your feet before entering my Kingdom.” “NEXT please!” (Hope this doesn’t offend anybody, if so, please excuse me, I’m Danish and cannot help myself)

Now back to the cartoons. We must admit that these weren’t very flattering, and I really, really am sorry, that some people’s feelings have been hurt. As stated by JP – that wasn’t the attention at all. And also, please remember, being non-Muslims, we are not bounded of the religious rules, which forbid drawing the Prophet. It would be the same, if Hindus went crazy or even into the terrorism business to kill all Muslims, because you eat meat from cows.

Let me explain. I I’ve told before, the Danish people will not tolerate any form for devaluation of our freedom including the freedom to speech - nor other values like equal rights for men and women. But who was trying to devaluate our values? Some extremists Muslims sure did. If we didn’t follow their codex – in our own country – lot of terrible things would happen to us.
But again – how come these cartoons were not very flattering? Well, it comes with the whole issue, because extremists Muslims carries their oppression, violence and threats out in the name of Allah and the Prophet Mohammed.

So here is the secret: extremists Muslims actually - indirectly - draw the cartoons themselves, the cartoonists only copied their minds. If you ask children I China, Hindu’s in India or anybody non-Muslim person to draw a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed, what do YOU think would be the result? And as they carry out these crimes in the name of Allah and the Prophet Mohammed, could the result be any different? Take a look on this site: http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/index.html#Attacks

Though, we do understand that common peaceful Muslims have been hurt, but we do hope you see the circumstances and thoughts behind the drawings. But it was not the peaceful Muslims, which were in the mind of the cartoonists, if it had been, the drawings would have been very much different. Or more correct: there would never have been any cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed at all.

When that is said, I must say we think that also the so called moderate Muslims did overreact: 1. They knew – or should have known - the intentions with the drawings 2: living in Denmark they really should know our way of expression by now, 3: and that our law is granting freedom of speech, which they also enjoy themselves, 4: and distinct double moral - cartoons dated several years back to present time in Muslim media are most definitely not very nice too. 5: when it comes to hurt feelings, does Muslims in India take notice of not hurting the 730 mill. Hindus, when they pass them in a few feet distance dragging a cow wearing a sacrificial garland outfit?

In the beginning of this “manifest” I wrote that extremists – but also more moderate Muslims – living in Denmark, have violated the Danish law several times, before as well as after the cartoon affair:

Extremists – this is against the Danish law

- They spread false rumours in the Muslim world and showed false materials in writing and “homemade” photos to uproar the Muslim world, that is a treason to Denmark and highly illegal. Also (for some reason) we thought that the making of pictures of the Prophet Mohammed by Muslims themselves were most forbidden? Did we miss something, or are we just plain stupids?
- They have urged for Jihad against the Danish population!
- They are planning to change Denmark to shari’a (found out after the cartoon affair)
- The extremists are threatening the moderate, so some moderate have to be guarded by the Danish police 24h a day (and the Danish population have to pay the expenses for that – don’t misunderstand, OF CAUSE we will guard them happily)
- The extremists kills their own in so called “Killings of honour” – the Danish people thinks it is highly dishonour full, its murder and against our laws.
- The extremists – and some moderates as well – are beating their wife’s and children. It’s absolutely forbidden in Denmark.
- The extremists – and some moderates as well – force their daughters into marriage, and if they refuse, they risk to be killed.
- Extremists have said a lot of – in our western ears - weird things: “women and girls not wearing burka ask to be raped” (we have never ever in our history worn burkas, so comes the extremists and say that to us in our own country?!), “Danish women and girls are all hors”, and some more sayings, which are against the law. It’s obviously that they patronize us because of our way of living, and because we are not Muslims. Think about how it feel to be patronized in your own country, because you want to live the way, you always did, and at the same time you even have to pay money to persons patronizing you, if they don’t have a job.
- The crime rates for Muslims in Denmark are approx. 8 times higher than for Danish people, even though we haven’t put anybody in prison for sayings about women, which if so, would increase the crime rate. It seems that crimes are OK, as long as it is against the worthless Danes?

The Danish people have to put up with this – in our own country.

And what did we do to deserve this

- We let them into our country where they didn’t have to fear for their life (except perhaps from other Muslims)
- We offered them a place to stay, and so much food to eat, that they never have to be hungry (again) – for free
- They are free to have their own religion
- They can have exactly that education, they want – for free
- If they don’t have a job, we provide for them – at don’t ask for anything in return, except for them to learn the Danish language
- If they want, they can run for parliament, which some of them have chosen to do, and also been elected.
- Muslims with Danish citizenship have full right to vote on equal terms as the Danish population – of course both men and woman
- Kindergartens serves halal – before the cartoon affair, Danish children had to eat only halal
- If a Muslim man beat his wife, we provide shelter for her and her kids
- They can be treated by well educated doctors and in our hospitals, if they need that – also for free
- They can have medicine to a low price like the rest of the Danish population, if they don’t have a job, often for free (Muslim people without a job receive a monthly amount, and besides that, every Muslim family - job or not - every 3 month receives a so called Children’s cheque for each child in the family (that’s goes for every family in Denmark, also the Danish)
- So, besides living in a peaceful country, I claim that Muslims living in Denmark have increased their economy substantially, to a much higher level, than in their home countries - even if they don’t work.

Do you think Danish people would have the same treatment, if some of us moved to a Muslim country? Do you think we are treating Muslims bad in Denmark?

Excuse me, but sometimes it feels like we have been shooting our self in the foot and stabbed ourselves in the back at the same time – ooohh… I forgot, that could take the pleasure from the extremist, who wants to cut us all into very tiny pieces – as been said by a Muslim street parliament on TV.

But also I have to point out, that we have a lot of really fine Muslim people in Denmark. Some of them are now working on pressing charges against extremists, and a lot of Muslims have urged some Imams to buy a one-way ticket and never come back. Muslims have cried, because they couldn’t take the sight of our flag burning – which by the way is the eldest national flag in the world – they have been in sheer rage, because some extremists burned a lot of the Danish flag, which they rightly consider to be their flag as well. And many Muslims have made excuses, which really torn our hearts, because they haven’t done anything at all, they should make excuses for. I guess that those who really aught to excuse, never will. Instead I guess they are busy planning to hurt us. I’ve read a lot in the Koran, so I know they are wrong. But also they have to face God in due time. Do you think the extremists will be granted access to his Kingdom?

Well Sandmonkey, this site of yours really helps to come in a better mood. Sorry to fill it all up. Can’t tell how great full we are for your support, and also thanks to the your like-minded. I don’t know where you are living, but I do hope for all of you a happy life in freedom. Take good care,

Just another Dane.

At 2/19/2006 01:41:00 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

@another Dane,

Does the muslim population (and I mean with this, those people affiliated with the imam who went to the east to show them 15 pictures overthere) in Denmark like to draw a similarity between how they are treated and how the Jewish population in western Europe had been treated before WWII?
I'm kind of getting sick of that comparison. First of all, because much of the hatred/disliking - and i am not mentioning the extreme right neo nazist who just hate everything which is not aryan) - derives from news like this: suicide bombings, intolerance towards "infidels", extreme punishments (death penalty (hanging/stoning), chopping off limbs, etcetera), women completely veiled and are about only allowed to bare children and that is it. This picture of islam might in the essence be greatly distorted. But then it is due to the fact that this kind of islam is often being practised in islamic / arabic countries and not the west to blame to have a distorted image. It is like the Hamas saying that the west has a distorted image of them. Well, perhaps if you quit killing people or calling for the death of people, then we might change our negative image about the Hamas. Anyhow, comparing the - perhaps distorted - image the west has about Islam is not quite comparable as how the west looked at the Jewish population before WWII. They just hated the people, and because they were deprived from many basic rights, they found other ways to survive in Europe. Instead of owning land, they chose to trade. And they knew how to do it. And people did not like it and hated the Jews even more. Perhaps some of them cheated the now and then, but they never blew up buildings or killed innocent civilians for the cause of their religion. Still about everyone spit at them. And the same rights they never got. (Still some have to fight for their rights after WWII)
Secondly, because muslims do not have less basic rights as any other non-muslim in any western country. If public schools (thus, non-religion affiliated school) in France decides not to show any religious sign, it does not only affect muslims, but ANY religious persons,.. Jewish, Christian, Buddha, Hare Krshna, Hindu, whatever. Even though I was not happy with this prohibition, it is not like it that this only affects muslims and deprives them from their rights but other religious people. That's just simply not true. Unless, the Jewish population who were really having less rights than non-Jews in western countries.

Now, I also want to say something about distorted image.
I also believe that a distorted image of the west lives in the east: that muslims have less rights than non-muslims, that about all westerners hate muslims, that they like to torture muslims because they are muslims, and so on. Misinformation and awful true stories gave this image to the east. Like, e.g. Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay as the awful stories, and misinformation around the cartoons and the stories around them.
Concerning the misinformation, we can only provide true information and concerning the awful stories, we have to do whatever it takes to bring justice for those who have been treated wrong.

At 2/19/2006 08:23:00 AM, Anonymous Einherjar said...

How is this any better than Allah ice cream?


At 2/19/2006 08:34:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Suzanne, it's very interesting that in the Netherlands you still call the kisses by something so politically incorrect. In Finland we used to call them something like Negro kisses (note it's an old name from a time when Negro was still a politically correct term) but now they're simply kisses.

Check the website of the producer:

You can see the wrappings as well. Myself, I think the pictures are quite, hhhmmmm, old-fashioned and would probably not suffer from an update ;).

Also, we still eat ice creams called Eskimo, not Inuit ;).

At 2/19/2006 09:48:00 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Click for an image Negerzoenen = nigger kisses. Not even negro kisses :P Because then it would be called something like Negroid kisses.

Ow,.. there is another pastry: "moorkop" the head of a Moor (Moors =the medieval Muslim inhabitants of al-Andalus (the Iberian Peninsula including the present day Spain and Portugal) and the Maghreb).

Let's keep quiet about them ;)

Anyhow. They are all delicious. If it would be toilet paper... the story would be different :)

At 2/19/2006 09:56:00 AM, Blogger Suzanne said...

Image of a Moorkop

Image of a Nun's ass

And did I mention Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet? Dutch traditional festivity, originally a christian festivity, but non-christians celebrate it too. Sinterklaas = Saint Nicolas and he was a Turkish bishop. He had some helpers (maybe rather slaves) and they were said to be Moors (see above). I do not know the details very well, but he was said to be kind to children and did something for the poor. Anyhow, they changed the story a bit: the saint is coming from Spain together with his helpers. These helpers are black, because they go through the chimney to deliver presents to the children. :P
To be politically correct they once tried Groene Pieten (green helpers), but no-one liked it. And the dark skinned people I met said it was silly to do that. Especially because people do not really connect slavery to it (anymore).


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