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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Another sign of the impending apocalypse

This was just too good to pass. The following is a front page editorial of the marxists newspaper "The True Voice of the People" - didn't see that one coming did ya?- which actually states that they have finally realized that the Jihadies are not their friends. Imagine that. Dump the Jihadists

It is time for us in The Movement to reconsider our support for Jihad. I know that this editorial will rankle many of our readers who seek World Peace and Justice, but let's try to be rational for a minute. Oh Boy. Don't hurt yourself now! Islam is opposed to women's rights. They jail and hang gays. They hate blacks. They kill Jews. They have absolutely zero class consciousness. They are so religious Marx would cry, and we cannot wean them off Mohammed and onto Marxism-Leninism. They treat criminals worse than our fascist USA or fascist France or fascist China. Their Sharia Law is in total contradiction to what we aspire to. They have an unsavory, oil-based, capitalistic tendency which is abominable. They are as multiculturally enlightened as a rattlesnake. And "Green"? They don't know from green. Let's be honest with ourselves. We only love the Jihadists because they are anti-US and anti-West, and because of our wish to see Bush damaged. And for no other reasons. It's our nihilistic, adventurous streak which causes us to glamorize these people, but they are not heroic Lenins or Stalins or Fidels or Maos. Our emotion derives purely from the old "The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend." But where would these Jihadists take us? We'd be the first to lose our heads in a nation run by them. These people are exposing themselves to be semi-civilized religious fanatics, and they would carry us in the wrong direction - not towards the Revolution we all seek, but towards the Theocratic Fascism we have valiantly fought for so many generations. We hereby pronounce the Jihadists to be Counter-Revolutionaries. LOL, they just figured that out. hehehe.. LOL..Sorry, just..hehe.. keep reading. We did not come to this weighty decision lightly, but our Editorial Board concludes that it's time the Left said "Dump the Jihadists. " It's time for us to move forward towards better, saner, and more progressive allies, like Chavez and Fidel and Sanders and Hillary. If we do not eliminate Jihad, The People's Revolution will never have a chance in the world. Yes, we all wish to see the US humiliated and weakened in the world, but let's not forget why: our goal is to advance the People's Revolution. And Bourgeois Freedom is the only medium in which we can effectively work for our goal. A successful Jihad could set Our Cause back 1000 years, as it is doing in Europe right now. Notice that these are their goals, and they cite Hillary as one of their Heros. Hillary for President anyone? Politics makes strange bedfellows. We might not like the demonic Bushitler, but it's time for the Left to get on board with the so-called "War on Terror" for the moment, tactically, or our dream of Universal Justice, provided by a Benevolent State, could have no future at all. It's time to be smart, and not blinded by our anger.

Oh man. Took them long enough, no? Update: Me is heartbroken. Turns out this article is a satire. Awww. Although, honestly, that makes more sense than the alternative. I mean, marxists who use their brain and think rationally? Ha. Puleeeze!


At 2/23/2006 02:31:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It makes me ashamed to be a Marxist when I see how quickly we would desert our bretheren rather than continue on with the struggle to give them enlightenment. They aren't rabid Islamo-fascists, they're just naughty little boys ! I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the thought that the other crazy fuckers of this world want to join in the war on terror. This is a strange planet you have here Sandmonkey, not like mine.

At 2/23/2006 02:40:00 AM, Blogger Christine said...

Considering their list of "heros", " It's time for us to move forward towards better, saner, and more progressive allies, like Chavez and Fidel and Sanders and Hillary.

And their goals. I still won't see them as on our side. They are only going to do it to "save their own necks". Literally.

Proves sickness is everywhere in this world.

At 2/23/2006 08:11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, if you want to get your mind really, really boggled then you ought to check out the pro-Israel, pro-US, anti-jihadist AND marxist anti-germans. They aren't a prank ;)



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