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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Stop the presses

WOW. WOW. WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW. I can't believe it. Hell must've frozen over. Raed Jarrar- yes, that one- just said that he liked something about the United States. No, really! There is something special about the In-N-Out cheese burger, there is something special about the onions there. Here are three secret tips about it. 1- In-N-out is one of my favorite fast food places. Did you know that they have a secret menu there? Try ordering 3x3 or 4x4 and see what you’ll get. 2- In addition, you can ask for grilled onions instead of the regular raw ones. They have the best root beer as well, so don’t forget to consume some. 3- Did you know that some nymphomaniac customers take out the first b and last r of burger? Hehe. Oh, and there is a nice bridge near it too. I *heart* the US roads. He likes two things? Not only one , but two? Wow Raed! Better watch it man, you are close to selling out Buddy. I am shocked. I am amazed. I am flabbergasted.


At 2/19/2006 01:43:00 AM, Blogger Crazy Girl said...

The dude was asked to do it by an efriend...What the hell so it wasn't even out of the kindness of his own heart..What the hell..Holds no ground with me..You don't American than goodbye!!

There are more apperiative people that belong in the states like our sandmonkey than people that come and and like to say its so bad..grrrrrrr

At 2/19/2006 01:58:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

American food is generally crap. This dude is obviously still on a sugar high but Burger King have better burgers and Macca's have better fries...that's why they have their outlets so close to one another, saves walking too far.

At 2/19/2006 05:42:00 AM, Blogger Christine said...

I'm willing to bet he needed to go take a really long shower after writing that one.

At 2/19/2006 06:57:00 AM, Anonymous Alb Sayed said...

Whatever hate email he has received (thanks in part to free advertising by SM), I am sure SM can tell you he's received similar mail.

Just because someone seems pro-something, doesn't necessarily mean he's anti-the other. For example, many of SM's readers think just because he's pro-US, means he's anti-Islam or anti-Egypt.

I'm not defending Raed or SM, but I'm saying let's look at it from both sides of the fence.

(SM, I'm on a brief hiatus from the boycott... There. Done. Now, back to the boycott)

At 2/19/2006 08:31:00 AM, Blogger Jeffrey said...

Okay, this is nuts.

A Palestinian named Raed Jarrar moves around the Middle East with his CAPITALIST DAD Azzam and Wigged-out Mom Faiza, spending time in Dear Old Saudi Arabia to fill their pockets, then a couple years in Iraq taking money from Dear Old Saddam Hussein as they stuffed their pockets with several "businesses" (all the while, of course, never ONCE protesting against the NATIONAL LEADER), and then finally turns critical when Saddam and his army are gutted in 21 days, and then he meets an EYERANIAN chick, Niki Akhavan, whose parents fled the Dear Old Ayatollahs in the early Eighties, and then he marries the America-hating Niki Akhavan and the two FIRST-CLASS America-bashers return to the Bay Area where they go to rallies in support of murderers like TOOKIE????!!!!

Raed Jarrar has been here on a visa for a couple months and he what does he write?

Contacting the FBI is a good idea if you think anyone is a risk to the US. It’s our responsibility as US residents and citizens to keep this country safe and sound.

Let me repeat that. He says:

It’s our responsibility as US residents and citizens to keep this country safe and sound.

OUR responsibility as US residents and citizens?!

Fucking HELL!

He and his stinking family have scammed the Saudis, the Jordanians, and now this pack of flim-flam artists are trying to scam the US too.

Shame on Homeland Security if we don't kick this fucker back into the SPIDERHOLE he crawled from.


At 2/19/2006 08:42:00 AM, Anonymous RocketRay said...

This dude is obviously still on a sugar high but Burger King have better burgers and Macca's have better fries..

Obviously you've never had an In 'N Out burger.

At 2/19/2006 10:21:00 AM, Anonymous Angie said...

Well that was a little harsh Jeff,

But I agree with you in a certain spirit.


I think it can be said unquestionably, without reservation that Raed Jarrar and his wife Niki are whole-heartedly Anti-American. Despite Raed's conversation from pacha to hamburgers.

At 2/19/2006 10:31:00 AM, Anonymous Angie said...

Sorry that was supposed to read "conversion".

At 2/19/2006 12:58:00 PM, Anonymous Mohamed said...

Really? you can order the onions grilled? How come they've never asked? I'll try it next time. Finally a useful piece of information out of you SM.
By the way, he's right, there's something totally differeent about in n out.

At 2/19/2006 01:05:00 PM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


please note that grilled and raw onions is also a valid option, although I personally favor having my In N out burgers Animal style. Animal style burgers with animal style fries. That's what I usually get.

Also, I love the pieces of scripture they have on burger wrappers and cola cups. And the fact that they pay the guy who flips the burger more than the chashier. They are very interesting!

At 2/19/2006 01:06:00 PM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...


ps: Bite me!

At 2/19/2006 01:48:00 PM, Anonymous Mohamed said...

Actually, I love more the fact that the guy whose making the burgers is wearing a plastic glove for a change.
SM, my pleasure.

At 2/19/2006 04:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quick, someone get him out of the US before he sells out any further & becomes further Americanized!

At 2/19/2006 07:28:00 PM, Blogger WakkaJewbacca said...

I live in Boston and I am out in California for a few weeks on business. I had never had In-n-Out until last week, and it really is that much better than all the other burger places. All the ingredients are fresh. I didn't know about the hidden menu, but I may have to try that out before I head back to the Boston. I do have to reach my goal of trying Sonic before I leave too. We have tons of commercials for them out east, but no actual locations. The closest one to where I am staying is like 20 miles away, but I think it may be worth a drive.

At 2/19/2006 08:03:00 PM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

eric, try the double double animal style. It kicks ass!

At 2/19/2006 10:23:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Errr, what's an In 'n Out ?


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