Another Bullshit article on the keys to happiness

Yahoo has up this new article called : The Keys to Happiness, and Why We Don't Use Them. Articles like this one piss me off beyoned belief, because they propogate the theory that there is an actual one-size-fits-all formula to happiness that we all can follow and, you know, become happy. Needless to say that that's freakin stupid and simplistic, because people are different from eachother, and what makes you happy may make someone else truly miserable, or even freak them off. I mean, we live in a world where some people get their kicks from being eaten alive by cannibals, and other who are so happy and content being in a BDSM realtionships they write blogs and books about it. Hell, I knew a girl who would become so msierable if she didn't have sex every single night, regardless of the identity of sexual partner, that she would go into crying fits that borderd on nervous breakdowns until someone agreed to sleep with her, and then she would be very happy. The point is: People are weird, and they get happy for all sorts of reasons, and let's not even talk about the depressive people who don't even want to be happy. Those are a different story all together. Anyway... So what kind of enlightenment does the article provide? Oh, you know, same old same old crap: Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California at Riverside has discovered that the road toward a more satisfying and meaningful life involves a recipe repeated in schools, churches and synagogues. Make lists of things for which you're grateful in your life, practice random acts of kindness, forgive your enemies, notice life's small pleasures, take care of your health, practice positive thinking, and invest time and energy into friendships and family. Blah blah blah.... I tried that shit. It doesn't work. My list of things I am grateful for included how happy I was that my dad never got another women pregnant in his whoring around; the random acts of kindness crap bakcfired when people started demanding them on regular basis; I usualy forgive my enemies because usually when they mess with me they are the ones who get screwed, so they still hate me regardless; taking care of my health would mean not eating the kind of food that actually makes me happy, so screw that; and everytime I invest time into friendships and family not only do I get dissapointed from the results, I get depressed from how shitty, petty and stupid people have become, especially people related to me. This recipe is the key to depression if anything. Thinking about that shit makes me want to slit my wrists! You wanna know the key to happiness? Realizing that it's fleeting and that it won't last. That in your lifetime you will get very few moments in which you are truly happy. That's it. As Dennis Leary said: it comes in small doses. It's an orgasm, a good desert, a perfectly made cup of coffe, an interesting play, a good friday night outing with your friends, something in that vain. That's all you get. Accept it! And while you are contemplating this, here is a thought: Don't demand to be happy all the time, and maybe you won't be so depressed about your failure to do so. Now have yourselves a nice day!