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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Brit and K-fed show blows!

Disclaimer: Since my website tracker is indicating to me that the surge in traffic this website has been experiencing lately is due to people searching the internet for the "Lindsay Lohan Diet" and getting this post as a result, i figured i should cater a lil bit to that new demographic of readers by posting more about stupid celebrities. I justify my actions not as a form of selling out, but rather as an ingenious plot to lure stupid 12-16 year old females to this website and slowly get them interested in world politics by posting political news in between those on celebrities. See, i am smart ! I am also doing it for the children. There are very few reasons why i am glad that i am no longer living in the states, and one of them is that i no longer get UPN, which means i will never be tempted to watch it and risk getting dumber by their array of really dumb shows (America's next Top Model anyone?). So when i heard that Briteny Spears reality TV show-detailing the story for her amore with K-Fed and how he dumped his 8 month pregnant girlfriend to be married to our favorite tart-will be on it , i just knew it will have the same viewership quality of a highway car accident: People will watch it with the same kind of morbid fascination. Oh, and it will naturally suck. Check out this great review on it. Here is the Monseyshot: Us magazine has a regular feature called ''Stars: They're Just Like Us.'' This show could be called ''Stars: They're Just Like You, Except Nowhere Near As Smart, But They've Got So Much Money It Doesn't Matter, So Just Sit There and Hate Your Hard-Working Life As They Spend Twice Your Weekly Paycheck on a Solid-Gold Key Chain That They'll Leave in a Bathroom the Next Day and Forget They Ever Bought.'' What reaction did Britney expect from this solid hour of yammering and mugging into a jiggly camera? She says she's tired of the tabloids explaining her, so instead, here's the ''real'' story she gives us: that she's a pampered celebrity surrounded by sycophants whom she can't bear to film for longer than 30 seconds without whipping the camera around back to herself, the true star. Oh, and that her love for Kevin is the classic fairy tale: Man meets woman in VIP area of club, woman summons unemployed, undershirt-wearing man to her European tour, woman bangs man three times in one day and gets a TV show to tell the world. Gosh, it's just like Snow White, only instead of the prince waking Snow White up with a kiss, he gives her beard burn. At one point, Britney drives while listening to the Peggy Lee song ''Is That All There Is?'' Oddly, I had been humming the same song for the whole hour. Ouch. This sounds so bad that i am actually intrigued. I think i will be watching it in my "Spear Britney" T-shirt!

2 Comments:

At 5/22/2005 09:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How dare you! america's Next Top Model is an awesome show!
-Daphne

 
At 5/22/2005 05:25:00 PM, Blogger gatorbait said...

I think Brit has been speared a few times, indeed.

 

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