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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Lindsay Lohan is really on the cocaine diet!

You know, when I reported that Lindsay Lohan’s sudden weight loss maybe due to her getting on the Cocaine Diet, I was actually joking. It was, if anything, an educated guess at best. Imagine my surprise when i found out that I was (allegedly) right. Who knew? “It’s cocaine and diet pills.” TVgasm has learned from a source close to Lindsay Lohan that her shrinking, frail frame is not the result of an eating disorder, but of a coke addiction mixed will diet pill abuse. Rumors have been circulating the Hollywood party scene for quite a while about Lindsay’s bathroom stall antics with other celebutants such as Nicole Richie and even an Olsen twin, though TVgasm didn’t really care on account of the fact that it was Lindsay Lohan and even in a vacuum, she sucks. But once an acquaintance of mine, and part of the Lohan elite, agreed to give me some confirmation information on conditions of anonymity, suddenly it peaked my journalistic interest. Crazy Blowhan’s “partying is getting out of control,” the source reports. “She’s gone from occasional coke use to a full on fiend; it’s scary.” Blowhan. Hmm… I guess it’s an improvment compared to being called Hoehan. Wait, nope, not really much of an improvement there. Anyway.. I don’t know, I kind of feel bad for the girl, with her car getting hit by paparazzi and her dad going to jail, the last thing she probably needed was a cocaine habit that virtually eliminated her breasts, which were, let’s face it, her main asset. What is kind of funny and ironic about all this, if such a thing is possible, is the fact that Disney- who produced Lindsey’s latest movie “Herbie: Fully Loaded”- technicians have spent over 1 million dollars to “digitally alter numerous scenes - especially those showing Lindsay jumping up and down at a motor racing track - reducing her breasts by two cup sizes and raising revealing necklines on her T-shirts” in an attempt to make her less “sexy” and more “family friendly”. You know, they could’ve waited a while and they would have gotten a really not sexy “family friendly” Lindsay, without having to pay an extra penny. They must feel pretty dumb right about now. On the other hand, I am kind of glad that Lindsay’s weight loss is due to cocaine and not her joining the “Ana” cult ( You can see her eating here), because –in my experience- getting someone off cocaine is definitely a hell of a lot easier then getting them to rid themselves of an eating disorder. I hope she gets help soon though, cause she used to be really hot, and now all she looks is, well, sad.


At 7/06/2006 09:19:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well hey it's a quick and easy way to lose weight and a lot cheaper and quicker then lipo lol


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