My 2 cents
A lot of people got really worked up in the comments section of the Choices Post. After keeping my mouth shut for 4 days, and seeing all kinds of things being said about me, I finally put my 2 cents in and said my peace here.
posted by The Sandmonkey @ 9/17/2005 01:50:00 AM
3 Comments:
Sandman,
My grandmother always tells me, "We all make the best decisions we can with the infomation we have at the moment. There is no right or wrong way, just different ways." No one can say what would have happened if you had done or said something differently. It's a shame you lost such a good friend, though. If it is meant to be, someday your friendship will be rekindled. Good luck.
Ooops, sorry Sandmonkey. I didn't intentionally call you Sandman--I obviously need a second cup of coffee. Apologies.
Knowing how things are in the ME SM, we obviously figured out this info on our own ;) :
"When you register someone’s # here, they make sure u give them a missed call so they can have ur number as well. She has mine. If she wanted to return being friends again, she could. All she would’ve to do is call. "
Kudos to you for being the good samaritan with many of your friends, no matter how it turned out ya 3azizi , at least you know in your heart and mind that you have TRIED and done your best ...this is what counts in the MIZAN or balance of life. .
On another note about telling someone that her prospective suitor is a scumbag, that is what the Arab tradition of asking about the bride or groom's background is for.If you recall when they come to ask for her hand the father would say ادونة مهلة علشان نسأل على الواد
During that time her family literally should ask about him and his past and even his parents and how he did in school etc... and people who know information should /would put cough it up. That is usually someones cue ...that is why supposedly we care about the girl or the guy's reputation in the middle east ...does he drink? smoke ? do drugs ? does his dad drink ? was his dad a womanizer ? divorce, how is his police record ? university? what do his colleagues say about him at work , his neighbours , the grocer ? you can find lots of info about someoen this way and no one would blame her brothers or cousins for asking because the groom would be doing the same thing about her as well by the way .. I think these were the sound way to do this. This is what our elders did, and this is what some people still do nowadays but in this fast age ... people just don't take the trouble anymore ... and moreover if someone witheld info when asked then that is terrible because it can and does mess up lives I know that from personal experience...because whatever is in someone past WILL hit you in the present like a boomerang... mush kedda ?
I think that what most your readers wanted was you to talk to her and be someone she can count on now even if that means she will run away when she finds another man to marry her.. I hope she has learned her lesson and would not drop her male friends now but I don't know some girls are pretty mixed up in that sense and I already said that earlier.
Plus I guess I did sum it all up for you in my earlier reply here :
"SM shared this wonderful post with his readers , this means only one thing , he wishes the readers to participate and to give their input.
On the other hand each reader loves him very very much, and because they care they took the trouble to post a comment and help him in his dilemna, obviously his decision is not final (yet). But whatever it is he would have to do it eventually on his own to find peace. And whatever the outcome no body will blame or put him down."
I'm glad you've made your conclusions and have found peace. I guess now the ball is in her court.
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