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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Saturday, September 17, 2005

My 2 cents

A lot of people got really worked up in the comments section of the Choices Post. After keeping my mouth shut for 4 days, and seeing all kinds of things being said about me, I finally put my 2 cents in and said my peace here.


At 9/17/2005 07:33:00 AM, Blogger Jane said...

My grandmother always tells me, "We all make the best decisions we can with the infomation we have at the moment. There is no right or wrong way, just different ways." No one can say what would have happened if you had done or said something differently. It's a shame you lost such a good friend, though. If it is meant to be, someday your friendship will be rekindled. Good luck.

At 9/17/2005 07:37:00 AM, Blogger Jane said...

Ooops, sorry Sandmonkey. I didn't intentionally call you Sandman--I obviously need a second cup of coffee. Apologies.

At 9/17/2005 08:20:00 AM, Blogger Highlander said...

Knowing how things are in the ME SM, we obviously figured out this info on our own ;) :

"When you register someone’s # here, they make sure u give them a missed call so they can have ur number as well. She has mine. If she wanted to return being friends again, she could. All she would’ve to do is call. "

Kudos to you for being the good samaritan with many of your friends, no matter how it turned out ya 3azizi , at least you know in your heart and mind that you have TRIED and done your best ...this is what counts in the MIZAN or balance of life. .

On another note about telling someone that her prospective suitor is a scumbag, that is what the Arab tradition of asking about the bride or groom's background is for.If you recall when they come to ask for her hand the father would say ادونة مهلة علشان نسأل على الواد
During that time her family literally should ask about him and his past and even his parents and how he did in school etc... and people who know information should /would put cough it up. That is usually someones cue ...that is why supposedly we care about the girl or the guy's reputation in the middle east ...does he drink? smoke ? do drugs ? does his dad drink ? was his dad a womanizer ? divorce, how is his police record ? university? what do his colleagues say about him at work , his neighbours , the grocer ? you can find lots of info about someoen this way and no one would blame her brothers or cousins for asking because the groom would be doing the same thing about her as well by the way .. I think these were the sound way to do this. This is what our elders did, and this is what some people still do nowadays but in this fast age ... people just don't take the trouble anymore ... and moreover if someone witheld info when asked then that is terrible because it can and does mess up lives I know that from personal experience...because whatever is in someone past WILL hit you in the present like a boomerang... mush kedda ?
I think that what most your readers wanted was you to talk to her and be someone she can count on now even if that means she will run away when she finds another man to marry her.. I hope she has learned her lesson and would not drop her male friends now but I don't know some girls are pretty mixed up in that sense and I already said that earlier.

Plus I guess I did sum it all up for you in my earlier reply here :

"SM shared this wonderful post with his readers , this means only one thing , he wishes the readers to participate and to give their input.
On the other hand each reader loves him very very much, and because they care they took the trouble to post a comment and help him in his dilemna, obviously his decision is not final (yet). But whatever it is he would have to do it eventually on his own to find peace. And whatever the outcome no body will blame or put him down."

I'm glad you've made your conclusions and have found peace. I guess now the ball is in her court.

At 9/17/2005 09:01:00 PM, Blogger thewiz said...

Wow, very deep. Hope it was cathartic. Seems ya needed to open up to someone. Strange it was strangers that you never met. Sounds like ya need a friend.

For what its worth, I once told my closest buddy his girl was cheating on him. He married he bitch and we didn't talk for twenty years. But at least I knew I had my peace.

As for the "savior syndrome" I suffer the same affliction. And it takes strenght to know when to pull back. Very difficult to watch someone ya care about sink into suffering depts.

As for "S" seems she suffers from "Beautiful Woman Syndrome" a very complex thing. One, they become spoiled adrenalin junkies. Men will do anything to be with thme from buying lots of epsenive stuff to taking them to exotic loctaions and activities to impress them. They get very spoiled, self-centered, demanding.

But what is worse is the after effects of this life style. They attract men that want them for thier beauty because it strokes their ego to have the best looking woman and to prove to all they can win her heart. Part of the attraction is the thrill of the chase. But soon they get bored with her. The chase is over so they look for another conquest.

Now the woman is rejected for another and she feels used, stupid, unloved, and even unworthy. This is why "S" says nothing ever seems to work out for her. She attracts shallow scumbags and doesn't see it.

Now she is bitter and desperate so she marries some scumbag. And makes the whole thing even worse.

Beautiful women are a mix of self-centered demanding bitches with a self-losthing, bitter losers.

My advice. . . .find an ugly woman with a good heart.


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