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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Monday, July 04, 2005

Final Analysis!

Disclaimer: The following exchange was carried through e-mails between me and Sally, regarding the "Sarah and Davey" E-mail saga, which you can read here, and the developments that ensued, which you can read about here. If you could care less about all this and not really as interested as we apparently are in complete strangers lives (it's been a slow week), then just skip this post! Sally said: ok, i just read the comments section on this one again. did you see the new comment? dude, if that's true, i.e. they dated for 11 years(!!) and they just broke up in january AND he'd been cheating on herfor the last 3 years, then that's pretty messed up. i think you should post the new comment for everyone to see and davey here can respond to that hopefully... because obviously, someone is lying!.. and my inner psycho-therapist/ wanna-be detective wants to get to the bottom of this!

Hey S , I think i have figured it out: It's Sarah who is lying. Follow me on this one, ok? 1) I have done a web research for this specific e-mail exchange and on every blog i found it on I found "Sarah's friend" posting a big ass comment explaining the situation and at one blog threatening the blogger by informing him of a "slander lawsuit" that is being filed over this letter (he doesn't buy it either though) , but always claiming that it's not really Sarah, but rather someone "better acquainted with the situation". Ok, if that's not Sarah then i am willing to cut off one of my nuts, because what kind of devoted friend will take on the task of searching the internet for everyone who posted this and writing big ass paragraphs explaining "what actually happened" and how "evil bad Davey altered the e-mail" in their comments section? No one cares that much, unless it's rather personal and its only really personal to one person: Sarah. 2) The e-mail i received from "Davey" is so out of character for him and doesn’t really make sense (even polly noticed that). He sounds like a smart guy, he didn’t think his funny ass e-mail, which he forwarded to all of his friends- would reach that many people? What, he suddenly cares about her reputation or his? He doesn’t look bad in this, so why would be care? As you yourself said it " it's like dude, if you didn’t want it to be public, then why send it to people??". He wanted it public, someone else didn't. That someone is Sarah. 3) The same day i received the e-mail from "Davey" my blog received the comment from "Sarah's friend". Coincidence? Coincidence my ass! It's impossible for it to be a coincidence. And if it was one, what about Polly's blog, where the exact same thing happend to her as well? The same coincidence? They synchronize their web surfing? This can only be possible if the sender of the e-mail and the poster of the note is the same person, and that person is: Sarah. She is the one with the interest in changing the names of people involved and making herself look good. 4) The Freudian slip in the e-mails and comments, the one sentence repeated in every e-mail sent by davey and every comment posted by "sarah's friend" :"If you have any questions, please let me know". She is dying for questions, for clearing her name, for someone to talk to her, hear her sob story and curse davey. I suspected as much when i received "his" e-mail, which is why my first paragraph to "him" in my response was filled with praise. Naturally "his" response was a mere "Thank you" and that's it. She figured that she wasn't winning over this one, that psycho-identity stealing-crazy bitch, so she just thanked me in order not to arouse my suspicions. Too late for that woman, I've figured it all out and i now know that it is you who is behind it all, Sarah! So, in conclusion, and in light of all of the evidence presented, i think the story went something like this: Sarah and davey did break-up 3 years ago, but in her twisted little mind he "was only cheating" and they were still together (if he was cheating for 3 years why didn’t she leave him? See? PSYCHO). She finally gets the memo that he isn’t "just cheating" and that he "ain’t marrying her", so she sends him this e-mail in a moment of regular instability. He responds, she becomes a joke, so she sets out to do damage control by claiming that "he altered her original e-mail" and that she "isn't really crazy". She realizes that it's out of control on the net so she goes and tries to coax people into changing the names, since they weren't removing the posts, despite her threats of a "slander lawsuit". She chooses to do the coaxing by creating a yahoo e-mail in davey's name, and e-mailing people as davey ( since no one would even bother to listen to crazy Sarah) , while defending herself by posting as "Sarah's friend" who "just wants to set the record straight". Her only mistake was trying to pull that shit on the Sandmonkey, we ana masry ya mama, we el 7arakat dih mesh 3aliah ( and I am egyptian hun, so no one can pull this kind of shit on me) . That's my nifty little theory. What do you think? Inform me
Sally's response: Bravo. Bravo Detective! You should post this on your blog!
Done and Done!


At 7/04/2005 05:00:00 AM, Blogger Adam Gurri said...

So much talent used on so trivil a case ^_^ Still, it was fun to read!

At 7/04/2005 08:54:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea - Right!

Sometimes a cake is just a cake.

It is also possible that (1) this whole thing is just a farce or (2) a spat where both sides are being disingenuous. Davey could have well sent a ‘modified for humorous effect rebuttal’ to a few “friends” not fully realizing it could take on a life of its own, like the sale of the wedding dress. http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/weddress.asp

At 7/04/2005 09:47:00 AM, Anonymous Jeff said...

I find things like this entirely too interesting.

At 7/04/2005 02:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH Sam
Everyone enjoys reading dirty little secrets and fights between ex lovers, although no one admits it. So thank you for responding to a primal human need. I know I've enjoyed the ahole story. And PLEASE have a little bit more gossip.


At 7/05/2005 07:10:00 AM, Blogger The Sandmonkey said...

Jeff, I know what you mean!

At 7/05/2005 10:29:00 AM, Blogger Polly Prissy-Pants said...

I think my original analysis stands: he's a prick and "I tol' you that bitch crazy!"

At 7/05/2005 10:04:00 PM, Blogger anna said...

Just a few things...

1. I'd suggest you prepare yourself to lose one of your nuts (you know what I mean by this, right?).

2. I certainly hope you don't aspire to be a detective or investigator in your near future. While I'm quite impressed with the time and thought you put into your conclusions, there is a slight problem with them: they're completely wrong. I'd say try again, but I don't really think you should bother because you were so off this first time around.

3. I find it rather interesting that you believe that someone close to a situation would never be so involved unless they were the actual person under attack. Why do I find this interesting? I find it interesting because you, your readers, and the readers of countless other sites (all people that do not know anyone in this exchange) have allowed this to nearly consume them, even to the point of searching for other sites, posting about it for days on end, and taking time to draw a conclusion, albeit incorrect, that is extremely well thought-out.

Take my comments as you will. Believe it or not, I've kept them to a minimum.

At 7/28/2005 08:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I received this little story (of Sarah & Davey) just today as an email from a friend of mine... I searched for it online and found your blog... HILARIOUS is all I can say! The person who sent me the email forward also claims to indirectly know "Davey" -- as we all live in Indianapolis... I am still curious to its' real truth...

At 11/12/2005 01:19:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ARGH!!! Have you no life?!


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