The MCS Epidemic
In case you didn't hear, there were anti-cartoon protests in Nigeria yesterday and they were lovelier than all others so far: Nigerian Muslims protesting caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad attacked Christians and burned churches on Saturday, killing at least 15 people in the deadliest confrontation yet in the whirlwind of Muslim anger over the drawings. It was the first major protest to erupt over the issue in Africa's most populous nation. An Associated Press reporter saw mobs of Muslim protesters swarm through the city center with machetes, sticks and iron rods. One group threw a tire around a man, poured gas on him and set him ablaze. Wow. So, with 11 dead in Libya's prtoests on Friday, this brings the cartoon death toll to at least 26 dead this weekend alone. 26 people. Dead. If you add to them those who died in Afganistan and Pakistan, I think we are looking at about 40 fatal casualties so far. 40 people, in the last 3 weeks. Now, is it just me, or is it weird that more people died over these cartoons in the past 2 months than over the Bird Flu "epidemic"? Hell, I think the cartoon fatalities are about 3 times those of the Bird Flu in 2006 so far. Shouldn't that make it an epidemic all by itself? I mean, it has higher fatality rates, and it spreads really really fast. It should be classified as an epidemic, right? We shall call it the Muslim Cartoon Syndrome epidemic. MCS for short. MCS is a fast spreading epidemic, that has a very good chance of getting an unspecified number of people killed, but is especially good at getting Muslims to kill other Muslims. It can be spread via 1) Hearing about cartoons insulting the prophet, or 2) Reading about cartoons insulting the prophet. However, actually viewing such Prophet-inuslting cartoons will not cause an infection; on the contrary, nothing will happen and no one will get agitated. Symptoms of MCS include: Forwarding E-mails, sending text-messages, spouting empty slogans on how much you love the prophet, yelling, screaming, agitation, saying shit that doesn't make sense, carrying highly offensive signs, engaging in retarded campaigns, burning cheese, boycotting Butter, torching buildings, attacking christians for no reason and participating in other various retarded violent activities. It's ability to get muslims to kill eachother has caused multiple conspiracy theories on the origion and purpose of said cartoons, and they all involve the Jews somehow. Don't ask! Just don't! So far there has been no cure for the MCS epidemic, but scientists are working hard at finding one. There are worries that at the current infestation rate muslims around the world may have to be rounded up and sent back to the middle-east, and all westerners to go back to their respective countries, at least until this thing dies down. "Some are worried that at such infestation rate, a quarantine and elimination of the infested may be necessary for the world's survival, although thankfully we are far from having to utilize such methods, cause the damage and casualties has been primarily in muslim and arab countries so far, and really, we have no problems with muslims killing each other. Better them than us!", a western scientist said with a smirk. There is hope though. There are strong indications that this whole MCS epidemic may be cureable by the purchasing of danish dairy products, since it started around the time muslims stopped buying such products. This could mark an interesting development in the world of cow diseases, where not eating danish cow products would cause you to go crazy. The Anti-mad cow disease so to speak. So maybe you should Buy Danish to stay on the safe side. Lurpak: Eat it so you don't go crazy!