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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Sandmonkey competition finalists

3ninjas Today I was supposed to announce the winner of the Sandmonkey "beat this caption" competition on this picture, but the fact that so many good submissions were in made it very hard to pick an absolute winner. It's also sad to note that one of my absolute favorite comment, this one by zobrex, couldn't be submitted for the final round because it's written in egyptian arabic and there is no way I can translate its meaning to make it as funny in english as it is in arabic (Trust me, I tried). So to spare me the agony of eliminating other great comments from the competition, I am sticking to what I preceive to be the top 5 comments in english and I am submitting them for a vote. I am a believer of democracy here, and I think you should be the ones to decide which one you like best amongst those 5 finalists. Voting will be closed midnight tommorow, so get your vote in as fast as you can. Here are the finalists: 1) Melanie : What is this I feel? I thought they said covering up would prevent us coming into contact with large erect objects. 2) mousey: i can see your eyelid, you whore! 3) Papa Ray : Oh...its so...big..and..hard... 4) Anonymous: New MTV reality show: "Egypt's Top Model" 5) Beautiful atrocities: "That bitch copies everything I wear!" Now go and vote your favorite. Sandmonkey out!

What sex is all about

bling This sign is real. It's part of an effort in Iowa to encourage abstinence amongst young girls, as evidenced by the use of the term "bling" in it. Iowa is street yo. Funky Fresh. All kidding aside, you have to admire the message behind it: It's asking them to wait till they get married not because of any moral or religious reasons, but because there is bling involved and they shouldn't be cheated out of it. It's the old "why buy the milk when you can fuck the cow for free?" piece of wisdom, only given a new hip hop spin to help relate it to Iowa's increasingly "gangsta" youth. The message is this: Don't do it before marriage girls, or you are gonna miss out on all the shiny objects the man is supposed to buy you so you can sleep with him. A moral lesson for the ages, don't you think? God knows I am not opposed to girls preferring to stay abstinent till marriage because they are religious, or think you should wait for someone special or any of those other legitimate( ok maybe a bit corny sometimes, but who am I to Judge?) reasons they could have . But to promote abstinence for jewlery obtainment purposes? How different is that from saying :"Because you should be getting paid for this, girl!"? How about "Don't suck that thing, before you get that bling!" for their next slogan? You getting my point here? Oh well, who am I kidding? Marriage is about money. Nevermind.. So Girls, please remember: Get the jewlery before you get the sex. It's like getting paid for getting laid.

The new Christopher Hitchens column hits the spot

Our boy, this week, choses to take a somber look at a detriorating middle-east conflict that the US is engaged in a country it occupies. The situation is bad and possibly deteriorating. In spite of open elections with wide participation, and in spite of the promulgation of a federal-type constitution that controversially privileges Islam, attacks are on the increase and the number of American soldiers already killed in 2005 is almost double the number for last year. Suicide bombers, often recruited from beyond the borders but also generated internally, demonstrate increasing ruthlessness and sophistication. Kidnapping and hostage-taking suggest an overlap between jihadism and organized crime. Warlordism and sectarianism remain toxic. No obvious end is in sight. The situation in Afghanistan, in other words, is giving rise to mounting concern. And then he wonders: well, why don't people call for US troop withdrawel there as much as they are doing in Iraq? Well, the easy answer is because Iraq is different and that no one in the middle-east really cares about Afghanistan. But why is Iraq different? Well... The real difference is this, if one is permitted to mention such a coarse thing as interest: Iraq is enormously more important, geopolitically, than Afghanistan. It sits beside one of the choke-point sea lanes of the global economy, and it occupies a keystone position between the Wahhabist theocracy of Saudi Arabia and the Shiite theocracy of Iran. One may despair of the stupidity of the Bush administration's "drug war" in Afghanistan ("just hold still while we liberate you and burn your only crop and make sure that all profits go to gangsters"), but it is a bagatelle when compared to the gigantic stakes of Iraqi oil. If anything like a federal and democratic Iraq emerged and was able to recuperate its ravaged and corrupted oil fields, it could undercut the Saudi and Iranian duopoly as well as provide a modern standard of living to a people immiserated by three decades of war and fascism. This would be a prize of historic proportions. Iran and Saudi can't want that. So what are they going to do about it? Well.. However that may be, both wings of the "insurgency" spend a lot of time trying to blow up the infrastructure of the Iraqi oil industry, and they have succeeded in diverting enormous resources away from reconstruction and toward simple protection of the pipelines and refineries. Kinda gives the whole undergorund "We are doing it for Allah and Islam" Saudi and Iranian support to the "insurgency" an iffy smell, don't you think? Hmm... Read Hitchens once a week kids. He is good for you!

Sympathy for the devil

The devil is having it rough, and he openly wonders: Why does everyone hate me? I can't help but feel bad for him though; no one deserves to be worshipped by Marilyn Manson, you know?

Awesome driver

This is how people should drive and parallel park. Period.


4 peace activists get kidnapped by terrorists in Iraq, and the peace organization blames the kidnapping on the coalition forces. Al-Jazeera broadcast video Tuesday of four Western peace activists held hostage by a previously unknown group, part of a new wave of kidnappings police fear is aimed at disrupting next month's elections. The news station said the four were seized by the Swords of Righteousness Brigade, which claimed they were spies working under the cover of Christian peace activists. The captives_ an American, a Briton and two Canadians — were members of the Chicago-based aid group Christian Peacemaker Teams. The footage showed Norman Kember, a retired British professor with a shock of white hair, sitting on the floor with three other men. The camera revealed the 74-year-old Kember's passport, but the other hostages were not identified. A 74 year old US spy. The agency must be really lacking new recruits. But Christian Peacemaker Teams confirmed the others were Tom Fox, 54, of Clearbrook, Va.; James Loney, 41, of Toronto; and Harmeet Singh Sooden, 32, a Canadian electrical engineer. They had been missing since Saturday. The Chgristian peacemaker teams is of course angry at the people responsible for the kidnapping of their people, who are not the terrorists who kidnapped them and are threatening to kill them mind you, but the US occupation. In a statement, Christian Peacemaker Teams said it strongly opposed the U.S. invasion of Iraq and blamed the kidnapping on coalition forces. "We are angry because what has happened to our teammates is the result of the actions of the U.S. and U.K. government due to the illegal attack on Iraq and the continuing occupation and oppression of its people," the group said. Typical..

More then 370 of Al zarqawi's clan disown him

Al Zarqawi is probably still regretting that Jordan attack till today; after it turned his whole country against him, the attacks have caused his clan members to disown him not once, but twice. The first time it was 60 people, this time it was more than 370 members of his clan. Ouch.. The members of the Bani Hassan tribe published a full-page letter in Jordanian newspapers pronouncing their loyalty to King Abdullah II. The letter bore the stamps and signatures of more than 370 clan members. It was the second attempt to persuade Jordanians that the family has renounced all ties to the man who claimed responsibility for the Nov. 9 triple suicide blasts in Amman hotels that killed 60 people. Three weeks ago, 60 members of al-Zarqawi's al-Khalayleh clan published a similar letter. "We, the sons of the Bani Hassan tribe in all its branches in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan support and express solidarity with our cousins, the al-Khalayleh clan, and their decision to sever relations with the terrorist Ahmad Fadheel Nazzal al-Khalayleh, who calls himself Abu Musab al-Zarqawi," said Tuesday's letter. "We condemn all terrorist actions carried out or claimed by this individual — actions which are alien to members of this tribe," it said. Gotta feel bad for Zarqawi, just the day before he rebuked the 60 members who sevred ties with him as "enemies of God". His feelings were that hurt. The message came a day after the al-Qaida in Iraq group condemned other family members for disavowing relations with al-Zarqawi. "Either the enemy of God forced you to take this step ... or you agreed and did it voluntarily," the group said in a Web statement. "Enemy of God" was a reference to King Abdullah. "If the first case, then you have an excuse. In the latter case, then you can only make your excuses before God Almighty," said the statement, posted Monday on an Islamic Web forum and signed by al-Qaida in Iraq's spokesman, Abu Maysara al-Iraqi. I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't wait to hear your excuses in front of God Almighty Mr. Zarqawi.

US condemns UAE arrest of gays

The USA is mad at the UAE because of its arrest of 24 gays who were having a mass wedding. The US is not mad because gays were arrested, but because the government wanted to "cure them" using hormone therapy injections, which they say is against international law. Washington has condemned the United Arab Emirates' arrest of more than two dozen gays at what police called a mass homosexual wedding and warned that any attempt to treat detainees with male hormones would violate international law. [...] In criticizing the arrests, U.S. State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said in a statement Monday: "We call on the government of the United Arab Emirates to immediately stop any ordered hormone and psychological treatment and to comply with the standards of international law." But the UAE wants everyone to be assured that it would never force hormones injections on anyone. It will be optional, and in exchange of reduced sentencing. An Interior Ministry official close to the investigation told The Associated Press on Tuesday that hormones would be given only with the suspects' consent — either as a sentence-reduction option if found guilty in court or voluntarily before trial. Hmm.. go to jail in an arab country for homosexuality and enjoy being raped daily, or take Brave new world-ish chemical and psychological treatment that could at worst kill you and at best change who you are as a person completley and turn it into something the UAE government would deem normal? Choices..Choices..

Like it matters

Despite their gains in parliament, the government insists that it will keep the Muslim Brotherhood group banned. Like that makes a difference in the polls, you know?

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A tech question

A lot of people are informing me that they are getting lots of annoying POP-UP ads when they log on my site and it's pissing them off. Knowing that I visit this like 5 times a day and never encounterd one, I am guessing the pop-ups are targeting those with US IP's. Either way, I have nothing to do with it, and I don't know how to make it go away, which pisses me off because A) I hate pop-up ads, B) I am not getting paid for them, C) I don't like people harassing my readers and D) I HATE, SERIOULSY HATE, POP-UP ADS. Did I say that already? Well, here it is again for emphasis. I fuckin loathe them. The first person who wrote their code should get disemboweld with a spoon. A wooden one at that. Anyway... So I am asking those tech savvy amongst you to give me advice on what to do. Is My Blog hacked? Does anyone know how to make the pop-ups stop? Are crawlers involved? Is there someone I can bitch at to make this stop? Just point me to the way people, I am very good at bithcing. Or tell me how to solve the problem, because I have no idea how to solve it myself. So , yeah, please help me out here if you know how to make this stop. Thanks

Here is a scary thought

Let's say that the 25 Pakistanis who dissappeared are indeed terrorists with the intention of blowing themselves up in suicide missions. A good question would be : What would be a good target for crazy islamists terrorists to blow up in Alexandria? Think about it for a second. Hmmm...... Oh yeah. Churches. Moharam Beik may be the hub of mayhem once again this year. This begs another question though: If the terrorists did blow up that church where the infamous play was performed, how would the average egyptian muslim feel about that? Which one do you think it will be: Anger, disgust, or "they had it coming"? Just wondering.

Conversations: The Infidel Republic of Iran

( The following conversation happend 2 days ago between me and my MB leaning friend H.) Me: You ever hear of the “Koran-aen”? H: No, who are they? Me: They are a group of Muslims who say that they only follow the Koran and what it has to say, and refuse to follow anything else, including the hadiths. They claim that Hadiths authenticity can not be trusted or verified and therefore they don’t follow and reject anything in Islamic lore that deals with or comes from them. For them being a Muslim is about following the Koran and nothing else. H: Oh, so they are a bunch of Kafarah (Infidels)? Me: What do you mean Infidels? They follow the Koran and believe in god and the prophet. Why are they infidels? H: Because the Hadiths are part of the Sunnah. Hell, the Sunnah is entirely built on Hadiths. And the Prophet himself said that the Sunnah is Islam and whomever doesn’t follow it is a Kafir. Me: It's reported that he said that in a hadith, right? H: Yes. What’s your point? Me: Nevermind. Now, according to what you are saying, anyone who doesn’t follow the Sunnah is an infidel. Is that correct? H: Yes. That’s correct. Me: Does that mean that all the Shia in the world are infidels? H: I didn’t say that. Me: But they are Shia, which means that they don’t follow and down-right reject a big chunk of the Sunnah. We can chose to do so and not be infidels? We are allowed to pick and chose which part of the Sunnah we like to follow? H: No. We are not. Whomever rejects the Sunnah or a part of it is an infidel. Me: So you are saying that the Shia are infidels? H: I am saying that by rejecting the sunnah or parts of it they are infidels, yes. Me: Wow. You do realize that you have just called the majority of Iraq and the entire country of Iran Infidels? H: Oh lord. See, that’s why I don’t like talking to you about stuff like that. Me: You are not backing down, are you? You still maintain that they are infidels, right? H: No, I am not backing down. Yes, by being Shia they are infidels. Me: Nice. Now, do you think the egyptian muslim population would still support them and hail them as the model of the modern Islamic state if they figured out that they are infidels? H: Well, Yeah! Me: How so? H: They want Israel destroyed, don’t they? Me: Touche man! LOL..Tou-che!

Ayman Nour Trial fiasco

The Ayman Nour Trial circus is coming to an end, with the verdict coming out either today or tommorow, and the proceedings being nothing short of an outright fiasco. The Judge prevented the defense to call in their witnesses, so the defense withdrew on the account of wrongful proceedings. In this case, the Judge is supposed to either negotiate with Nour's lawyers or appoint a new defense lawyer. The Judge did neither and will announce a verdict either way. This shouldn't come as a surprise, since it is the same Judge that sentenced Saad El Deen Ibrahim for "Tarnishing Egypt's reputation" by doing research on egyptian election fraud. He seems to be the Government Go-To Judge to bring out verdicts against the government's enemies and critics. The Sentencing could amount to anywhere from 15 to 25 eyars in prison and the sentence would have to be implemented effective immedietly, since it's coming from the Appeals court. Sure, Nour can appeal to the higher appeals court (Mahkamet el nakd), but the court will take a minimum of 3 years and an average of 7 years to view his case. Either way, this ruling strips him from his political rights for life and will ensure he won't be able to run for anything again. The government is working to make one hell of an example out of him and I am sad to say that their efforts so far have been a success.

25 pakistanis dissapeared in Alexandria

The Egyptian newspapers are reporting that 25 Pakistani males have dissappeared without a trace in Alexandria, leaving their cloths, luggage, and passports behind in the hotel they were staying in. The Police , of course, have no leads and the newspapers are remiss not to make the connection that they are here for possible terrorist attacks. After all, one would have very good reasons to suspect that, No?

Saudi SG president is bringing discipline to ASU

Arizona State University is a very well known party school in the US, and its coeds are infamous for posing for Playboy and Hustler and other...ehem..gentlemen's magazines. This wouldn't happen without consequences anymore if the current Student Government President can help it. Undergraduate Student Government President Yaser Alamoodi is hoping to pass a rule that would prohibit males and females from posing in magazines he believes are damaging to ASU's reputation. "I was concerned to see logos and the name of ASU being associated with such magazines," he said. "I don't want the name of ASU to be a joke anymore, and I think the Playboy association is a big reason why the ASU academic reputation is not up to what it should be." Under the proposed rule, students who posed would be punished by the rules set forth in the student code of conduct. According to the code, any student who is found to violate the rules is subject to expulsion, suspension, probation, warning or payment of restitution. The reason why this is contreversial is because A) This is a freedom of speech issue, B) Posing for adult magazines is not illegal, and therefore people shouldn't be punished for it, and finally C) Yaser is a Saudi national, trying to impose a moralistic rule only he supports on american students. What's wrong with this picture? Imagine if the situation got reversed (Saudi school, american SG president tries to impose his country's morals on the school body) and you will get what I mean. Yaser, leave the ASU slutty girls alone. You want to be in a place that restricts the freedom of students to do something that will shame them and their children for years to come, well, go back to Saudi you dweeb. Trying to make it a rule that girls who expose themselves get expelled... peshhh. What are you? Gay? We should encourage more of them to pose naked you nimrod. Hurray for Boobies..or something!

This is not looking good

With one witness dead, the other witness changing his story, things are not looking good for Syria. Actually more along the lines of looking desperate. Gotta give their intelligence people props though. They are good at what they do. But I have to agree with Hani here. Getting the guy to claim that he was tortured and bribed by Saad Harriri to falsely testify against Syria, that was just too pathetic. Raja also seems to agree: In all seriousness though, this man appears to have attempted to infiltrate the investigation and failed. His initial contact with Mehlis and Khashan prove that he at least tried. His failed infiltration only increases the credibilty of the Mehlis investigation. By concocting such a public affairs fiasco, it appears that the regime may be trying to make the best out of the investment they sunk into this project. And some people will believe it. Why will some arabs go out of their way to defend indefensible , corrupt, tyrannical and morally repugnant regimes such as Bashar's Syria or Saddam's Iraq? Why? There is no heroism in defending butchers. There is no pan-arabism in making excuses for the people we know to be guilter then sin. The fact that we even contemplate defending them or supporting them because the US or Israel attacks them is indictive of our moral intellectual failure if anything. Why do people allow themselves to particiapte in defending the guilty in the name of arab solidarity? What's the point? Does anyone get it? Cause I can't for the life of me.

Monday, November 28, 2005

The Judge on Saddam's trial has to be removed

It's been two years, we all know that Saddam is guilty as sin and yet the Judge allows this kind of shannanigans to take place. What's wrong with this dude? Saddam began with a verse from the Muslim holy book that reminds believers who aspire for heaven that God knows who actually participated in jihad, or holy war. He then complained that he had to walk up four flights of stairs in shackles and accompanied by "foreign guards" because the elevator was not working. The chief judge, Rizgar Mohammed Amin, said he would tell the police not to let that happen again. "You are the chief judge," Saddam snapped back, speaking like a president to a subordinate. "I don't want you to tell them. I want you to order them. They are in our country. You have the sovereignty. You are Iraqi and they are foreigners and occupiers. They are invaders. You should order them." Saddam also complained that some of his papers had been taken from him. "How can a defendant defend himself if his pen was taken? Saddam Hussein's pen and papers were taken. I don't mean a white paper. There are papers downstairs that include my remarks in which I express my opinion," he said. Amin ordered bailiffs to give Saddam pen and paper. Oh, he should just be beaten everytime he makes a request as far as I am concerned. Saddam's trial should be as fair as the trials conducted under his rule. This trial is too lenient for his ass, and I am not the only one who thinks so. The court's tolerance of vocal complaints from the defendants drew sharp criticism from Shiite politicians who contend the tribunal is trying too hard to accommodate an ousted dictator who should have already been convicted and executed. "The chief judge should be changed and replaced by someone who is strict and courageous," said Shiite legislator Ali al-Adeeb, a senior official in Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari's party. [...] The slow pace of the proceedings has angered many Iraqis — especially majority Shiites — who believe Saddam should have already been punished for his alleged crimes. Shiites and Kurds were heavily oppressed by Saddam's Sunni Arab-dominated regime. "Iraqis are beginning to feel frustrated," said Ridha Jawad Taki, a senior official in the country's biggest Shiite party. "The court should be more active. Saddam was captured two years ago. ... The weakness of this court might affect the verdicts, and this is worrying us." [...] In Baghdad, Shiite businessman Saadoun Abdul-Hassan stayed home Monday to watch the trial on television but expressed disappointment over the pace. "Saddam does not need witnesses or evidence. The mass graves are the biggest witness and he should be executed in order for the security situation to improve," he said. I agree. I only hope he is not being kept alive as some sort of bargaining chip with the Baathists terrorist groups now that they are in talks with the government, you know?

So a family member gets cancer...

I just discoverd today that my aunt has cancer. She has it in her bones. My father told me. The only people who know about it are my dad, me, my other aunt and my cancer-ridden aunt's son, my cousin. He is a doctor and he is the one who found out from the tests they conducted when she reported having back pains. My Aunt- his mother- doesn't know she has anything beyoned back-pain. Her cancer is probably incureable and she will die. He has to pretend every day to be completly normal around her, while he cries himself to sleep every night. The same applies to my other aunt who knows that her sister's days are numberd and who goes with her to the hospital for the tests she is conducting for her "back-pain". My aunt is dying and she doesn't know. She is not the only one in the dark mind you: another aunt exists who can not be told, because she will probably get a heart-attack or tell my grandmother, who will most deifntely get a heart attack and die from hearing this news. My other cousins don't know as well, because we figure there is no reason to spread the misery around. Not to mention, the more who know the more likely they will tell her. And they don't want to tell her because they are afraid the shock may kill her on the spot or at least kill her spirit, and you want her in high spirits if there is a way to beat this thing as we all hope. But it's a fanatsy, we know this too. We know she is dying by the minute and she doesn't know. But we do. Now, here is the question: Should we tell her at all? If you had such a terminal disease, that will kill you in a matter of months and to which has no cure, would you want to know? Would you really? I mean, we are all in the nihilistic sense dying by the minute, but we always assume we have time, because no one really knows when they will die. Except people with terminal illness. They get a time-table. An approximate deadline. You have about 6 months and then you will be gone. You will never see a loved one again. You will never get to see the wedding of that grandchild of yours. Hell, you won't even get to watch him/her reach 18. Would you want to know that your time is almost up while there is still so much to do and experience? Would that help in any way, to know that every passing day brings you closer to an end that you did not expect for at least another decade? Is that how you want to spend your last months on earth? Just knowing you will die soon and you are just waiting for it, with everyone around you giving you those looks of pity and loss through their tear-filled eyes?? Is that how you want to live your last months on the planet? I don't know. I wouldn't want that. I know she has the right to know, but I am not sure it would be beneficial in any way for her to exercise that right. If anything, I don't want to be the person who tells her, nor would I want to see how she would look like after she finds out, because I know I won't be able to help crying while holding her and wishing she didn't have to die so soon. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes. I wouldn't want to do that to her. I wouldn't want to depress her like that. I wouldn't want that to be the way I spend her last days with her. But the alternative is torture. To know that someone you love is dying by the minute, while they don't know. To watch them go through their daily lives, making plans and having hopes, while you know- YOU KNOW- that they probably won't live to see any of those plans come to fruition. To pretend to be normal around them, to joke with them about their back pain, to pretend not to know that within a few months her whole body will be ravaged by a merciless killer of a disease and there is aboslutely nothing you can do to stop it. Aghhhhhhhhh.... I can't decide which is worse. It doesn't matter anyway. She is dying and there is nothing no one can do about it. That's all there is to it. Sigh... Sorry for the depressing post. But I just needed to let it out somewhere. I will probably remove that post tommorow. Whatever...

Who is afraid of the Big Bad Brotherhood?

For the past weeks I have been one of the egyptian bloggers who panicked and cried foul over the fact that the MB is gaining seats in the parliament, but that was just the reactionary person in me speaking and I know that I have been acting like a drama queen over the whole thing. In reality, however, the fact that the MB is winning those seats is not something to be worried about or fear, but in actuality will be a very good thing in the long run. Surprised that I am saying that? Well, just hear me out then. First of all, let’s agree on one thing: the democratic process is working, despite all of the thuggery, forgeries and fraud that are being enacted by the NDP. This is what we wanted in the first place: a more democratic Egypt, right? The fact that the results are not the ones we fancy is part of what living in a democracy is all about. We may not like it, but the people chose them, and if we want to live in a democratic society we have to respect that, even if we don’t like it. And hey, talk about an incentive to get up off your ass and vote the next time. So maybe it’s a good thing that the Boogeyman that is the MB had won this way this time, it should scare everybody else to vote them out the next round, No? Second of all, let’s be objective here about the size of the winnings they made, ok? They ran on 150 seats, and they will likely end up around 100 seats from a parliament of 444. That’s less then 25%. They can’t really do much damage the NDP doesn’t want them to do. And yes, they have more then 65 seats, so they can have a presidential nominee, but that’s not all she wrote. They have to win seats in the shura council and the municipal elections as well, and chances are the NDP will ensure that they don’t get the right percentage there. Not to mention, there is a huge chance that this elections results will not affect the next presidential elections at all. The next parliamentary elections is in 2010 and the next presidential elections is in 2011. In order for them to have a candidate then they have to have at least 65 seats next time and not this time. And who knows, they may not get it next time; a lot of things could change in 5 years. So as far as panicking over the 2011 goes, it’s really premature for us to do so. And let’s also be clear on something: there is a good reason why the NDP is acting so stupidly this time and couldn’t curtail the MB like it did in the other elections and it’s called In-Fighting. The NDP is currently a mess because the Old Guard is teaching the new guard a lesson in manners. The old guard are all from the military-intelligence-Tanzim Taleeay apparatus, they were all raised in the Gamal Abdel Nasser school of dirty politics. The new guard are civilians, businessmen, cronies and sons of connected people who think that all the NDP needs is a good marketing campaign and a couple of hollow slogans about democracy and reform and the people will just believe it and support them. The old guard was like: “You think that’s all it takes? Fine. Go and run without our help and see what will happen to you. You need to be taught a lesson.” And they were taught a big lesson. Biggest evidence of that is the fall of Hossam Badrwai in front of Hisham Khalil. Hossam who is Jimmy’s best friend, got his ass handed to him by a novice playboy, who was the favorite of all the old guard. It’s no accident he won this. At all. Plus, add to that equation the ex-NDP independents who are running against the candidates of their own party, the ineptness of the opposition parties of fielding candidates that can win, the other independent candidates who are saturating the ballot and a judiciary that is still pissed off over them getting sidelined during the presidential elections and you will realize what a fine mess this election has been and that the NDP candidates’ losses are something to be expected. The MB didn’t have that problem. They were unified, they had a clear message and name recognition. Why wouldn’t they win? Third of all, their win will give the egyptian people a chance to try them out and expose them for who they really are. The MB’s line has always been that the people should try them out and see what they stand for, and I support that 100%. I want people to see what kind of issues the MB likes to tackle. The MB MP’s in the last parliament had a list of achievements that ranged from protesting that Nancy Ajram concerts were on TV while the 2003 war on Baghdad was on, to the censoring of certain books they deemed immoral, to submitting a request for an investigation on how the a sanitary products company embarrassed a school of girls by coming over and talking about periods and menstrual cycles and what kind of sanitary products they should use. That’s the kind of stuff they do in parliament. Sure, it’s funny, and they can claim to be fighting social battles, but the people don’t really give a damn about books or concerts. They have serious problems and they want someone- i.e. the MB- to solve them. And they probably won’t. They are too busy demanding that the internet gets filtered from Porn and that ruby puts her cloths on, to actually propose anything meaningful. They could do it, but chances are they won’t. It’s not what they do. So the people will try them out for 5 years, and seeing how they are a group of people who don’t tackle or solve any of the real serious problems that we are facing, I am not sure they will have confidence in them to vote for them again. People voted for the MB to be the NDP’s opposition on the stuff that matters. My bet is that in 5 years they will change their minds. Finally, the MB’s winnings should act as a necessary wake up call to all of the old political parties. It should inform them that they are out of touch and need to reform, restructure themselves and reach out to the people. And that they need to show that they are actual opposition parties, even if they don’t have enough MP’s to actually effectively oppose anything. If they start reaching out to the public, and re-organize and structure themselves for the 2010 elections, and the people start seeing that the MB won’t really do anything, chances are the parties can win big then. Just in time for the 2011 elections. They will have to if they want to survive in the egyptian political arena, and I think the majority of them do. So yeah, this is why I am not really worried about the MB winning. Let them have their 100 candidates in the Parliament. Let’s try them out. Let’s see what they are all about. Let them annoy the NDP MP’s with their silly laws, requests and investigations. Let them scare the shit of the opposition parties to get up off their asses and do something. Either way we can't lose. Let them be who they are and let’s just enjoy the show. It’s one I bet will be worth watching.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

In the name of the french riots

absolutparis25yu This is kinda wrong, but also kinda funny!

Plot thickens

The Harriri assassination conspiracy gets even more complicated: A lebanese witness against Syria was killed in a mysterious road accident. A witness in the assassination of ex-Prime Minister Rafik Hariri has died in a mysterious road accident that raised suspicions of murder.Nowar Donna, owner of a mobile telephone trading business in Tripoli, was killed when his car plunged into a valley on the road to Bteghrine in Metn. An unidentified pillion also was killed, An Nahar reported Saturday. Internal Security Forces have launched an investigation into Friday's accident "amid suspicions it was a premeditated murder," according to the paper. Donna had been questioned by both Detlev Mehlis' International Independent Investigation Commission and the Lebanese judicial authorities after he was identified as the vendor of five mobile telephone sets out of eight that were used in the car bomb assassination of Hariri on Feb. 14. Huh. Must be the Jews. The same way they got this dude to "commit suicide". It's all to make Syria look guilty. Those Damn Mossad agents. But the Syrians are all about Pan-arabism even if it violates its interests, which is why they rejected Egypt and Saudi's mediation for Russia's. Ehh.wait a sec.. The Russian mediation spared Syria impending sanctions for its refusal to cooperate with the investigation into Hariri's Feb. 14 assassination. Syria preferred the Russian mediation over Egypt's and Saudi Arabia's because Moscow enjoys veto power at the U.N. Security Council which it could use in the event of a new confrontation between Damascus and the international community, An Nahar reported Sunday. And it has brought good results: neither Assad's little brother or his Brother in law were asked for questioning. Thank you Russia. Thank you Putin. Without your help those innocent men were going to get questioned and found guilty because the Jews are behind this whole thing. But here is the silly thing: under the agreement Mehlis can not arrest the officers if they were found guilty. How did the Jews not see this one coming? When asked what would happen if arrest warrants were issued against the officers, Moallem said "This is a hypothetical question and I decline to answer it." He added that Mehlis "has no jurisdiction to arrest" the officers. [...] When asked why there were only five officers when Mehlis has asked to question six, Moallem said: "There are only five officers and I am not aware of a sixth name." Moallem also said that Syria "doesn't have any doubt in the Arab solidarity with it." And of course, our very own Hack, Amr Moussa, jumps to Syria's defense. Arab League Secretary General Amr Moussa warned the international community on Friday against isolating or threatening Syria with sanctions without proof that Damascus had a hand in Hariri's assassination. "We cannot accept the fact that a member country is isolated without evidence it is involved," Moussa said. "We are sure the Syrian government is cooperating with the investigation," he added. In more fun news, the syrian-fiannced and backed Hezballah is challenging the loyalty of its critics. "While encouraging dialogue and discussion," the cleric stressed "the resistance will not tolerate being named a traitor or an agent for foreign countries." "Hizbullah appreciates the different points of views over many Lebanese internal issues and invites all parties for a dialogue," he said. "But before we hold a dialogue with someone, we will ask, 'Who are you and what have you done for Lebanon? What are your relations with embassies and ambassadors? What are your relations with Israel and Western countries?'" Nasrallah emphasized that Hizbullah values its friendships with Damascus and Tehran, calling on the Lebanese people to do the same because the resistance's ties with the two capitals have benefited Lebanon and "freed it from occupation." "Hizbullah's orders do not come from Damascus, or Tehran; they come from Beirut," he said. Of course. And the fact that they finance you and arm you has no bearing on your decisions what so ever. This is a circus. Now, why don't the lebanese just secede the south to Hezballah and get it over with? God knows South of Lebanon is more loyal to Hezballah than the rest of Lebanon and are incredibly different than the rest of the lebanese population, so why don't they seperate and create their own little hezballastan? This way Hezballah can continue duking it with Israel without affecting the rest of Lebanon and the lebanese government won't have traito..... agen.... "friends with Syria and Iran" amongst their own government or affecting their own stability or safety. This way everyone wins, you know? God knows I am starting to feel that as long as Hezballah stays in Lebanon the Harriri murder will never be resolved, Bashar's regime will never be exposed and Syria will continue to influence lebanon. Oh well...

The Iraqi resistance wants to negotiate with the government

File this under "Possible good news": Gateway Pundit is reporting that the resistance groups have contacted the Talbani government and want to join the political process. This is good news because if the negotiations are a success, Al Zarqawi and Al Qaida will find themselves alone and will be crushed in no time. I think the Iraqi resistance groups are wising up that there is a differnce in objective between themselves and Al Zarqawi's group and it may be best for them not to be viewed as one and the same. I think that even the Sunnis in Iraq are getting sick of the mayhem and want the attacks to end, so this could be the start of having a unified and peaceful democratic Iraq. I can hope, right?

The Muslim Brotherhood have 75 seats

75 seats people. They won 28 more in the run-off, making their second stage total 41 and their complete total so far 75 seats respectively. That's 10 seats above the 65 mark needed for them to have a presidential candidate. Hehehehehehe. Why am I laughing? What's so funny about that? I am not sure. Humor....sheer terror....it's a fine line really. On the other hand, this recent development may cause Mubarak to disband the new parliament citing irregularities in voting. This possibility is looking more and more as an option he may have to take in order to ward off competition against his own son in the next election. Otherwise Mubarak will have to wait at least 5 of his 6 year term until the next parliamentary elections and make sure they don't get 65 candidates and then step down and leave it to Gammal. Either way things are going to suck for democrcay and Egypt, and the possibility of violence chaos and anarchy will keep rising with every passing day. Fantastic news, no? Update: The Brotherhood are running 49 more candidates in the third stage. I say they will get at least 100 seats overall. Anyone willing to take this bet?

Michael Jackson is building a mosque

Sheikh Michael is building a mosque in Bahrain. Eih el 7alawah dih? World’s top pop singer Michael Jackson, who recently settled down in Manama has donated a huge amount of money, the figure was not disclosed, for building a state-of-the-art mosque near his luxury palace in the Bahraini capital, according to his spokesman. The proposed mosque would be designated for learning the principles and teachings of Islam, as well as teaching of English language, for which high-standard teachers would be brought from United States under his personal supervision, the spokesman said. Under his personal supervision? You mean the teachers will be surpervised by Michael? And see his freaky face everyday? Now that's a deal breaker if I ever heard of one. Jackson did so as a token of appreciation to the Bahraini people, who welcomed him and treated him as if he was one of the citizens of their country. Dude, imagine if he converts to Islam. Would that be a good thing or a bad thing? Like, do you think we would brag about it? Would it help our self-esteem or, like, hurt it even more? Cause, honestly, I am still not sure if the Mike Tyson conversion to Islam helped Islam's image all that much, You know? So one can only wonder what kind of damage an M.J. conversion would do.

Dutch muslim woman wins the right not to wear a Hijab

Hmmm....... Islamic groups across Europe have campaigned for years for the right of Muslim women to wear the religious headscarf, or hijab. Now a Muslim woman in the Netherlands has won the right not to wear it. Samira Haddad, 32, won her case against the Islamic College of Amsterdam, which insists that all Muslim women wear the hijab. The secondary school rejected her for a job after she said in an interview that she did not wear it. The country’s Equality Commission ruled in Ms Haddad’s favour, saying that the college had illegally discriminated against her on the ground of her religion and that it could not legally compel Muslim women to wear headscarves. But here is the interesting part: A member of the school board explained at the time: “If Miss Haddad were to declare she was no longer a Muslim, then she could in principle come and work for us.” So a qualified muslim woman doesn't get the job if she wouldn't wear a hijab, but if she abandoned Islam she would get it? LOL. Now that's tolerance. Who are those people, where do they come from and why did they ever leave their countries of origin in the first place? Seriously, I want to know.

Mass homosexual wedding in UAE stopped

This is interesting and disturbing at the same time: There was a huge ceremony in a hotel on the Dubai-UAE highway where 2 dozen gay men were having a wedding. The government intercepted it, and the consequences are a bit...unusual. Police say they raided a hotel along the Dubai-Abu Dhabi highway and found a dozen men dressed as traditional female brides and a dozen others in male Arab dress. The men will probably be tried under Muslim law on charges related to adultery and prostitution. Outward homosexual behavior is banned in the Emirates; although the region has a long tradition of openly homosexual wedding singers and dancers, authorities blame the recent increase in gay arrests on Westerners. Those damn westerners. God knows there was no homosexuality in the middle-east till they invented it and brought it over and infected our youth with the gay virus. Anyway, what's their punishment? The men face up to five years in jail, lashings, and a more sinister, Brave New World-type of rehabilitation. "Because they've put society at risk, they will be given the necessary treatment, from male hormone injections to psychological therapies," says an Interior Ministry spokesman. They will cure them by injecting them with male hormones. Cause, you see, that's the problem. They are gay because they don't have male hormones, thus they act all girly, wear dresses and want to sleep with men. But once they get the male hormones, they will just shake their gayness off and will be raping..ehh..chasing women in no time. Right? Riiight!

3 and a half year old girl: Jews are apes and pigs

This is just classic: Amer: How old are you, Basmallah? Basmallah: Three and a half. Amer: Are you a Muslim? Basmallah: Yes. Amer: Basmallah, do you know the Jews? Basmallah: Yes Amer: Do you like them? Basmallah: No. Amer: Why don't you like them? Basmallah: Because. Amer: Because they are what? Basmallah: They are apes and pigs. Amer: Because they are apes and pigs. Who said that about them? Basmallah: Our God. Amer: Where did he say that about them? Basmallah: In the Koran. Amer: He said this about them in the Koran. That's right. Basmallah, what do the Jews do? Basmallah: What? Amer: What do they do? Basmallah: The Pepsi company. LOL Amer: Basmallah, Allah be praised. May our God bless her. No one could wish for a more devout girl. May God bless her and her parents. The next generation of children must be true Muslims, Allah willing. We must educate them while they are still children to be true Muslims. Awesome!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

News Items

Dear readers, The following is a list of news items and announcements that need to be made in reagrds to this blog: 1) The Sandmonkey competition: Since people are still coming in with comments , I will still be open for submissions for 2 more days and then will take a day to choose the best comment (which is getting harder by the minute) and the winner will be announced by Wednsday the 30th. The runner-ups will each get a shiny nickle for their effort as well. And rememebr, there are no losers, but there can only be one winner. Hold on... 2) Oh Yeah, and the concerns raised by Twosret, Highlander and Prog. Craig ( I am sexist apparently) will be responded to sometime tommorow. I don't have the energy right now for a response to be perfectly honest. 3) I am very tired and stressed out. I have been doing a million things at once and have a ton of personal and professional pressure on me and I am stressed out to an extent you wouldn't believe. I am not wiped out yet, but very close to it. Now since I will have to deal with those issues, there will be very lite blogging for the next few days. It won't last forever, I won't dissappear on you, but I will stick to 1 or 2 posts a day instead of the usual..I dunno... 15? I am just letting you guys know that I am dealing with some stuff, and that there could be a day or two where I may dissappear. Don't Panic, I will be right back. Now, speaking of dissappearing bloggers.. 4) Please stop asking me where Ritzy is. For the last time, I have no idea where Ritzy Mabrouk is or why she dissappeared. I don't know where she is, where she lives or what her number is. We were not close. As far as I know she wasn't close to anyone and stuck to being totally anonymous (even ignoring interviews with the media) and stating some line about how "she only exists on the web". So yeah, I am just like you when it comes to her: I don't know shit about why she dissappeared. For all I know she could be on vacation, she could be bored with blogging, she could be in a coma or she even could be a guy who just got tired of pretending to be a woman. Who knows? All I know is that its highly doubtfull that she is incarcerated somewhere, because, honestly, if they were going to arrest bloggers she is not going to be the first. I can name a list of at least 10 others who would have to dissappear before she does and who are far more contreversial then her. So yeah, If I would venture a guess, I would have to say that her dissappearance is voluntary. Either way, I don't know. ok? That is all for now. Sandmonkey out!

Don't bomb us

The Al Jazeera staff have responded to the rumors of Bush's plot to bomb Al Jazeera in a positive way: They started a blog to demand the truth of the existance of such a plot and to give the Al Jazeera staffers a more human face (there us even a flicker account for staff pictures). The name of the Blog? Don't Bomb US! How could you not love that? (Hattip Mostafa)

David Duke in Damascus to express solidarity with Syria

You know you are in trouble when the former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan* is a big supporter of you. (Hattip Stefania) Former US Louisiana Representative David Duke on Monday expresses solidarity with Syria in face of the pressures and threats against the country.Duke told a news conference at the 'Nation's Tent' at Rawda Square in Damascus that "I have come to Syria to express my support to the Syrian people and their just stances...it's the duty of every free man to reject the conspiracies and threats Syria is exposed to." [...] Duke questioned why nobody has so far talked about the Israeli mass destruction weapons and its violation of more than 50 UN resolutions while it continues to occupy Arab territories and increase the number of its settlements in the West Bank. He added that Iraq was invaded under false allegations, that the country had WMD which never existed. Duke expressed appreciation of Syria under the leadership of President Bashar al-Assad, saying he would do his bets to convey "the real peace-loving Syrian" stances to peoples across the world. Especially amongst the Klan. After all, syrians- like the lebanese- are "whitest" of arabs. Maybe he will get Prussian Blue to dedicate a song to the Assad regime on their next album? I envision a big concert in Damascus attended by the Baathists and the army and no one else, don't you? Arhghhhhhhh........ *Funny how the article doesn't mention that little fact, don't you think?

The NDP are idiots

The MB chooses to attack the government's relationship with Israel to boost support for their candidates by utilizing egyptian anti-semetic sentiments. Basically saying the government is run by agents and traitors and the MB are the egyptian nationalists. And the NDP controlled government decides to support their theory by going around and arresting MB supporters in droves. Cause that's not gonna make the MB seem like the underdog or martyrs in the public's eye or anything. Serenity now!

Palestinians assume control of the Rafah crossing

Hmm, why does this worry me? Oh yeah!

Ahmeddinjad is an economic genius

The Iranian stock market has been in a downward spiral ever since A.J. took over the reins of the Iranian presidency because, well, he is crazy, and the fact that he called it gambeling , which Islam forbids. The effect of his words and actions created an unprecetended effect on the market. Nervous investors have been transferring their capital to other countries, and Dubai has benefited palpably from the flight of capital from Iran. The Tehran Stock Exchange has lost 20 percent of its value in the past four months.“At the moment there are no buyers in this market, only sellers”, the newspaper Ruznet wrote. “Economists believe the situation is becoming more difficult to handle day by day”. So what's our boy's soloution to all of this? A quite ingenius one actually: Hang people! Iran’s hard-line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told the latest cabinet meeting in the Iranian capital that “if we were permitted to hang two or three persons, the problems with the stock exchange would be solved for ever”, according to a Tehran-based newspaper. Ahmadinejad was addressing a cabinet meeting held to discuss the rapidly deteriorating situation at the Tehran Stock Exchange, the daily Ruznet reported on Sunday. Ministers and experts disagreed with all the different views and proposals raised at the meeting, which came to an end without any concrete results. Tempers flew high and participants shouted at each other during the discussion, according to the daily. Frustrated with the inability of his economic advisers and experts to come up with any solution, Ahmadinejad told them that the only way out of the current stock exchange and financial market problems was to “frighten” speculators by hanging two or three of them. Fantastic.

There is no shame left in the world

Michael "Brownie" Brown, the ex FEMA director who botched the Katrina relief efforts, has started his own private disaster preparedness consulting firm. No, really. "If I can help people focus on preparedness, how to be better prepared in their homes and better prepared in their businesses — because that goes straight to the bottom line — then I hope I can help the country in some way," Brown told the Rocky Mountain News for its Thursday editions. I guess his consulting would be along the line of giving them a list of his decisions as FEMA director and telling them "Don't do the shit that I've done and you will be fine." Best part of the story: Brown said companies already have expressed interested in his consulting business, Michael D. Brown LLC. He plans to run it from the Boulder area, where he lived before joining the Bush administration in 2001. "I'm doing a lot of good work with some great clients," Brown said. "My wife, children and my grandchild still love me. My parents are still proud of me." And they are the only ones who feel this way Brownie. They are the only ones.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

A Sandmonkey Competition

3ninjas Ok, I really really like this Picture, so I am starting a "Beat this caption" competition. This picture originally had this caption underneath it: "The black Ninjas travel in groups..." Now, while this isn't a bad caption per say, I don't think it really captured the comedic essence of this picture. This picture has potential man. It needs a better, funnier, caption. So I am opening the floor to you caption suggestions. Leave them in the comments section, and the winning caption will be posted with this picture again in a new post that will just reak and ooze destniction and praise for the winner's comic genius. Imagine that. The Sandmonkey, Me, dedicating an entire post to praising your wit and humor. If that's not a stroy to tell your grandchildren about, I don't know what is. So get cracking people. Show the monkey what you got. Sandmonkey out!

Man killed in egyptian election violence, tractor involved

This election is getting weirder and weirder by the day. Two days after the second stage of the election claimed 1 person dead and numerous others injured amidst clashes that involved chairs and swords, there are now 21 more others injured and another person dead, interestingly, killed by a tractor of all things. Are we inventive or what? In northwestern el-Gharbiya province on Sunday, supporters of the National Democratic Party candidate, Mustafa Mohammed Kamal, allegedly blocked the roads in the village of winner Sayyed Jabur Habayeb, preventing students from going to school. A rumour that Kamal's supporters had kidnapped five schoolgirls led the independent supporters to attack Kamal's village on Wednesday. They reportedly kidnapped 25 men, dragging one of them behind a tractor until he died, said a police official who did not want to be named because he is not authorised to speak to the media. More then 21 people got inured in those clashes as well. What makes this incident even more interesting is the fact that the NDP candidate supporter is the one claiming that the police is forging the election against him. Yeah, and he may have a valid point: His opponent is a police general. Oh, so now the police is biased and forges elections? Ahh..Ok! The constituency in the Gharbiya governorate which voted in last week's second phase of legislative elections has been the scene of several incidents since the victory of an independent candidate, police General Sayyed Gaber. Supporters of losing candidate Mohammed Kamel Marai from President Hosni Mubarak's ruling National Democratic Party (NDP) had accused the police of interfering in favour of the general and rigging the results. This is quite funny, because it shows that the police can turn rogue on the NDP and no one in that party can do anything about it. Is it just me or are they looking weaker by the minute? Anyway.... In essence this shows one thing very clearly: the police are corrupt and after their own benefit, and no one is immune to their betrayel, even the NDP candidates. Maybe they should take the recommendation of the Judges club on this to save face and bring the army in to restore a sembelnce of order. The group called for results from polling stations that saw violence to be annulled and for the military to replace police in protecting elections, saying the army was more neutral and held the respect of the people. That would be something. Even if they are a little biased towards the NDP, they at least wouldn't be as corrupt, and they wouldn't allow the disarray we are experiencing, you know? Hmm.....

"Fiddy cent" may be banned in Canada

The canadian Junior foreign minister wants to bar 50 cent from touring canada, because his music is a bad influence on kids. Yowza. The Canadian government should ban U.S. rapper 50 Cent from touring Canada later this year because he has a criminal record and glorifies gun violence, a legislator from the ruling Liberal party said on Wednesday. Junior Foreign Minister Dan McTeague said the rapper's message was inappropriate at a time when Toronto, Canada's largest city, was experiencing a surge in shooting deaths. "I do want the laws of Canada to apply to anybody who is a criminal, an admitted criminal, as Mr Curtis Jackson -- known as 50 Cent -- is. Under our laws ... he would be deemed criminally inadmissible," he told CBC television. Canadian law dictates that anyone with a criminal record needs a special permit from the office of Immigration Minister Joe Volpe to enter the country. McTeague has written to Volpe urging him not to grant the permit. Volpe declined to discuss the case with reporters but said he too was concerned by the rising gun violence in Toronto, where 49 people have been killed so far this year, many of them young black men. Hmm.. So, what does Mr. Cent have to say to concerned parents to ease their worry? Well.... The rapper told Reuters on Tuesday that parents should buy their children his new video game and use it as a teaching tool. In the game, 50 Cent is depicted making his way through New York's underworld with armed guards and guns blazing. Hehehehe.... Ok, it's official: 50 raps with a drawl not because he got shot in the mouth, but because he is retarded.

Alias is canceled

Booooooo. Damn you ABC gods for doing this. Damn you all to hell!

Newlyweds no more

Nick and Jessica are finally officially seperating. Does anyone care? No? Didn't think so.

Killed by Tequila

A swedish man goes into a 3 day coma and dies after drinking 19 shots of Tequila in 90 minutes. Wussy. As a consequence to his wussiness, the bartender who served him the shots has received 6 months in jail for, get this, illegally serving alcohol to a clearly intoxicated person. Ok, color me confused, but isn't it the bartender's job to serve alcohol to intoxicated people? Isn't that kind of in the job description? Isn't this how they make money? People getting drunk, thus order more drinks and consequently spend the rest of their evening worshipping the porcelain god while the bartender counts his tip money? I blame the dead man. He should've puked after the 10th shot. Now look where his super tolerance and the bartender's attentive customer service has gotten them both. Sheesh.

Regarding the Israel hits a nerve post

My "Israel hits the right nerve in Lebanon" , as expected, hit a nerve (Oh, i am so clever) with some people. A commentator named Charbel pointed out that the majority of lebanese bloggers I mentioned don't actually live in Lebanon, and thus their opinions may not be 100% representitive of the Lebanese street and thus I guess should be taken with a grain of salt. He had this advice for me: They all have good blogs, but their reaction does not mean as much as Lebanese opinion on the ground. Lebanese Political Journal, even if it is here, remains aloof to what people actually feel.You should listen to the speeches given by Lebanese politicians. You should look to what Michel Aoun had to say, or even dare I say Walid Jumblatt. So I did just that. Check this out: Walid Jumblat has crossed lances anew with the Assad regime, charging Syrian authorities were out to sabotage Lebanon's independence and rekindle the 1975-1990 civil war in a bid to derail the international investigation into Rafik Hariri's assassination. "The Syrian regime must beware subverting Lebanon's civil peace," Jumblat warned in an interview published by Al Mustaqbal newspaper, which ranked as his strongest denunciation of the Assad administration since the April downfall of Syria's 29-year reign of terror in Lebanon. Jumblat's stance was in sharp contrast with Hizbullah's desperate campaign to exonerate the Assad regime from Hariri's tragic death, warning that Chief U.N. investigator Detlev Mehlis was 'not a God' and accusing him of steering the Hariri probe to a political track to frame Damascus. Banding together with Premier Saniora, the Hariri family and the majority of Lebanon's political groupings, Jumblat expressed full trust in Mehlis, effectively rejecting Hizbullah's besmirching outcries that the German prosecutor 'is not a God.' "Lebanon shall not be used as venue to derail the Hariri investigation at a time the Assad regime is making an assortment of concessions to avoid getting accused Syrian officers behind bars," Jumblat asserted. "Lebanon shall not accept being rolled 30 years backward to civil warfare." Taking an apparent jab at Hizbullah, Jumblat said "arms do not provide protection for anyone. Protection is provided only by dialogue with the resistance and by national consensus backing this protection." Ok, now for the opposite view, cause you know we are Fair and Balanced here (Yeah right!) in sandmonkey land. Pro-Hizbullah Labor Minister Tarrad Hamade told reporters that the people stand strongly behind the resistance and the Lebanese Army. The Hezballah dude said that. Please note it. He added that UN Security Council Resolution 1559 is an act of aggression that deprives Lebanon of its right to defend its territories. Oh really? Resolution 1559 does that? Interesting.... What does Saad Harriri, Rafiq's son, have to say? MP Saad Hariri announced that Lebanon has entered a phase that requires increasing effort from the government. "I believe expressing ones opinion and stand is crucial in a democratic regime," he said, adding that he does not see a major dispute between the Lebanese but a diversity of viewpoints all converging on the importance of achieving stability, security and national unity. Commenting on the full enforcement of Security Council Resolution 1559 in Lebanon, Hariri said a serious dialogue with the international community needs to be opened to avoid confrontation. Guess who he means by confrontation? If I were to venture one it would be a confrontation with Hezballah. Hmmm.... So who is the threat to Lebanon's stability and independence? Yeppers, the HA. God Bless them and keep them a thorn in both Isarel and Lebanon's side and their lips firmly stapled to Assad's ass.

Nazi Olson twins won't be in Teen People

Remember the nazi Olson twins of Prussian Blue? Teen People was going to do a story on them, give them more exposure without mentioning their "white supremacist" agenda. Thankfully , it was found out and, as expected, a shit storm of outrage killed the story. Teen People spiked a story it planned to run on teen twin hate-mongering singers, after learning a magazine staffer had cut a deal to avoid using the words "Nazi," "supremacist" and "hate" in the article. Insiders at parent company Time Inc. said yesterday that Teen People, under Managing Editor Lori Majewski, had promised not to include the terms in a Q and A article about Lamb and Lynx Gaede - the singing teens who are favorites of white supremacist rallies and of David Duke, the one-time grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. In a statement, Time Inc. said "a junior employee" made unauthorized promises to the twins' mother. "Such an agreement is in violation of Time Inc. editorial policy and, as a result, we are killing the story and pursuing a formal inquiry." A profile on ABC's "Primetime" had triggered a firestorm of controversy because the home-schooled youths sported Nazi T-shirts, gave Seig Heil salutes and sang songs urging the separation of races. The Post broke the story that Teen People had snagged the hard-to-get interview with a tacit deal after the twins had gone into hiding. Politicians and Holocaust survivors on Monday turned up at Time Inc.'s Rockefeller Center doorstep to protest the magazine's plans to run the story. Oh, those damn politicians and JOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZ. They are always after bringing down the aryan movement. Damn them; Damn them to hell. Or thank god. Whichever works for you.

Jacko hates the Jews

From the man who accused Sony of racism, comes a racist rant against the Jooooozzzz: Michael Jackson picked a familiar target to blame for his mounting money problems - the Jews. In phone messages obtained by ABC News, the apparently prejudiced pop star likens them to "leeches" and claims they conspired to leave him "penniless." "They suck...they're like leeches...I'm so tired of it," Jackson tells former adviser Dieter Wiesner in one of them. "The Jews do it on purpose." The ugly message, which was made two years ago and aired yesterday on "Good Morning America," was one of several provided by Wiesner's lawyer, Howard King. Nice. I guess he will find lots of supporters for his new point of view amongst his new neighbours in Bahrain. This should make him popular there, no?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Israel hits the right nerve in Lebanon

After striking inside of Lebanon in retalliation to a Hezballah attack-which the latter used- mortars and rockets toward the Israeli-Lebanese border andwounding 11 Israeli soldiers- Israel planes went all the way to Beirut and dropped leaflets denouncing Hezballah. Earlier in the day, Israeli planes dropped thousands of leaflets over Beirut and its suburbs denouncing Hezbollah guerrillas. Lebanese security officials said the roar of jets was heard over the city before dawn, followed by thousands of leaflets falling from the sky. The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to speak to reporters. "To the Lebanese citizens, who protects Lebanon?" read the small leaflet written in Arabic. "Who is lying to you? Who is sending your children to a battle they are not ready for? Who wishes the return of destruction? Who is the tool in the hands of his Syrian and Iranian masters?" Then in bold letters, it said: "Hezbollah is causing enormous harm to Lebanon," and added that Israel was determined to protect its citizens. The note was signed "The State of Israel." Here is what the leaflet looks like:

Hezballah of course denounced the leaflets: Hezbollah dismissed the leaflets as "an expression of Israeli failures in facing Hezbollah," the group's media chief, Mohammed Afif, said in a statement. But that was expected. What I wanted to know was what the lebanese bloggers thought of all of this, since they are the Beirut dwellers who Israel targeted with those leaflets. They, as expected, have hit a nerve, but one that interestingly was in agreement with Israel's point of view. Here is what Raja from Lebanese bloggers had to say of the israeli leaflets:

It is a thought that most Lebanese have in their minds. Israeli propagandists hit the bull's eye.

Mutapha from Beirut spring also agrees and starts lamenting that the lebanese government is losing the propagnda war and should've had a tougher anti-Hezballa rhetoric before Israel's leaflets.

If Mr. Seniora had been saying all these things since the beginning, Israel wouldn’t have dared to write that leaflet. But because our government ignored the propaganda war, many Lebanese are now put in an awkward position of finding their opinions voiced in a piece of paper thrown on us like dogs by Israel. Talk about adding insult to injury.

There will be negative consequences to that fact he believes:

Hezbollah has pre-empted us , no matter what we now say, they'll say that we're talking like Israel!

And no one wants that.

But the Truth is Hezballah is Iran and Syria's puppy no matter how many times they claim otherwise and the majority of the lebanese people have grown weary of them. The lebanese have grown angry at the fact that their own independence day was marred by hezballah's attack on Israel and the fact that it was politically motivated.

It is indeed hard not to make that connection, as it's so consistent with the Party's rhetoric and positions since the March independence movement. Nasrallah and HA have been singing (solo) the tune that the "real" enemy and occupier is Israel, not Syria. Meanwhile, the focus of the rest of the Lebanese scene has been, naturally, on Syria. It was also obvious that the speeches in the celebrations of Independence Day were going to be focused on Lebanon's independence from Syrian occupation, and the recently restored sovereignty and freedom. Indeed, PM Seniora delcared that "Syria has to get used to the fact that Lebanon is an independent sovereign country." Furthermore, as I noted in my post yesterday, Walid Jumblat again emphasized the need for border demarcation with Syria, and its official recognition of the Lebanese ownership of the Shebaa Farms (which it still has not done, and the Farms remain officially Syrian territory. More on that below.)

So it was expected that HA would refocus attention on itself and its agenda, in order to try and dictate domestic discourse: independence is from Israel, not Syria. The Farms are Lebanese. The "Resistance" will continue. The UN and Seniora (with emphasis on Seniora), should never forget who has the final say and who has the weapons. It also falls in line with HA's campaign against Seniora, and its pressuring him to reject UNR 1559.

Basically they are pressuring their own people for their benefactor's sake: Syria. Lebanon be damned.

But hey, maybe I am being too harsh on Hezballah. Maybe they are patriotically motivated and have no business/financial reasons whatsoever to support Syria. But how would we find out? Oh, I know, they should let us see their sources of income, as this blogger suggested:

If Hezbollah claims it defends all of Lebanon, then all of Lebanon should have the right to see Hezbollah's sources of income.

This would not compromise their capability to defend the nation. It will reassure all of the other questioning Lebanese of Hezbollah's sincerity, and it will prove to us that we should be more appreciative of Syria and Iran who only have Lebanon's interests at heart. It will reassure us that Hezbollah has the means to resist an advanced army with access to nuclear weapons.

The Lebanese Army's budget is publicly known. Israel's budget is publicly known, and the world knows which countries support the Israeli military. It does no harm to Israel for it to be publicly known that the United States gives it billions of dollars in military aid. It does no harm to the Lebanese Army that the public knows that the United States is the single largest defense donor to Lebanon.

Hezbollah must come clean. They are asking us to trust them, but we cannot. They are asking us to trust Syria and Iran, but we cannot. Perhaps our minds have been warped by the conspiring Western nations and Zionists, as President Lahoud told us today in his Independence Day speech. The best way to bring us back into the fold of the fully aware and competent is to show us the evidence that the United States is wrong, rather than berate us for being patsies. That merely insults us. Prove to us, Hezbollah, Iran, and Syria, that you are the true defenders of Lebanon; that we need you.

Hezbollah claims it has nothing to hide, and yet it lurks in the shadows. Hezbollah claims that it is fighting a righteous fight for eternal peace, and yet they kidnap innocent civilians. Hezbollah claims that the party does not hate Jews, only Israeli actions, and yet they denigrate other Lebanese using Rabbi as an epithet. Being a man in the service of God cannot be a bad thing to a bearded cleric, so what does the insult Rabbi mean?Hezbollah has not stood up in support of freeing Lebanese prisoners from Syrian prisons. Hezbollah has not asked Syria to return Lebanese fishermen Syria unlawfully detained. Hezbollah has not offered to dialogue with other Lebanese parties about the election law.

If they want to continue speaking for Lebanon, then they must be accountable to the Lebanese people. We will gladly use their free services if we think they are needed. Hezbollah hospitals do great things for poor people. But we are not convinced that their military service is to our benefit. In fact, we worry that it is to our detriment. Therefore, they must come clean.


Makarem's Angels

I am leaving you today with a bunch of pictures of MB female supporters, or as I like to call them Makarem's angels. I just feel that these pictures represent everything that scares the shit out of me about the possibility of the MB taking over my country. Enjoy: support Too young to vote, not too young to get coverd. fugly Don't they look pretty? ye3 They come in all shapes and sizes! Koranninja And all age groups (notice the tiny veiled girl held by her mom in the cnter-left of the picture? According to her parents she is old enough to entice men to sin and therefore must be coverd. Nice, huh?) 3ninjas The black Ninjas travel in groups... green ....but the green Ninja walks alone! Khaleej "Man, I feel like i am back in Saudi !" ninja ballot That's what I call anonymous voting! ink "You mean I have to take my glove off to dip my finger in the ink? You mean I will have to expose my hand for everyone to see? But then they will get all kinds of sinful masturbatory thoughts and urges from viewing the exposed sexy flesh on my finger. Oh God, is there no other way?" observer And last but not least, I leave you with an MB election observer. Doesn't she look great? Sigh..

Catholic school fires unmarried pregnant teacher

You see, she was sending the "wrong message" to the kids by being unmarried, pregnant and keeping the baby. She should've had an abortion instead.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Our Election security

Remember how the government blamed the clashes and the thuggery of the elections on the islamists? And how they said that the security forces were neutral and unbiased? Well, ehh, check those 2 pictures out. 65837452_b8ece07139 The Anti-Riot police idely standing behind two thugs while they are walking around with swords. 65837453_e3947f7c25 One of the two thugs showing his blood-soaked sword, while the police stand behind him like troops behind their commander in battle. As if he is protecting them or something. Maybe that's what they meant by saying they were unbiased? Not getting involved while thugs ran around Alexandria holding swords and weapons? Hmm...... Pictures are curtsey of Big Pharaoh, who has even more amazing election violence pictures that you should check out. This is what our democracy looks like. Heartwarming, no?

Bush locked in

This is just a very Bush moment: The final reporter he called on critiqued Bush's performance earlier in the day when he stood next to Hu in the Great Hall of the People on Tiananmen Square to deliver a statement. "Respectfully, sir -- you know we're always respectful -- in your statement this morning with President Hu, you seemed a little off your game, you seemed to hurry through your statement. There was a lack of enthusiasm. Was something bothering you?" he asked. "Have you ever heard of jet lag?" Bush responded. "Well, good. That answers your question." The president then recited a list of things of that he viewed as positive developments from his Beijing meetings, including cooperation on North Korean nuclear disarmament and the ability to have "frank discussions" with his Chinese counterpart. When the reporter asked for "a very quick follow-up," Bush cut him off by thanking the press corps and telling the reporter "No you may not," as he strode toward a set of double doors leading out of the room. The only problem was that they were locked. "I was trying to escape. Obviously, it didn't work," Bush quipped, facing reporters again until an aide rescued him by pointing to him toward the correct door. LoL. And people wonder why I like him.

Carlinism of the day

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...and you finish off as an orgasm. George Carlin

The 10 rules of "bad-ass knitting"

For all of you who want to become "Bad-Ass Knitters", here is the way.


200506 Check out some more real time 3-d illusions here.

The Gall of Bisho

Bashar "Bisho" Al Assad has a lot of gall and no shame. Check out what he said in his latest speech about Lebanon to see what I mean. Many times we read or hear from foreign emissaries that the reason some foreign officials in these countries are angry...Today I'm using the third person, saying "they" and "them," but you all know who I mean by “they” and them”. Americans, Jews, Europeans, and Jews. Did I mention Jews? It's the Jews. Anyway.. The reason they are angry at Syria is that President Bashar Al-Assad made a commitment to them to carry out internal reform, and has not done so. I didn’t know that the Syrian people appointed them as representatives instead of his parliament members, and President Bashar is supposed to make commitments to these foreign officials. I didn’t know they cared for us more than we care for ourselves. But like, You see, you don't care about your people. It's not just you, it's a common trait in the arab leaders club. Not to mention, who are you kidding? No one in the syrian parliament would dare to oppose or say anything to you about your broken promises or your despotic rule. So yeah, maybe the critics have no right to speak in the name of the syrian people, but neither do you Bisho boy. The truth is that this indicates great contempt – not towards Syria, I’m talking about the Arab countries in general. This is how they view us, as if we do not exist – a land without a people or resources without owners. Al-Hariri (followers) began accusing Syria of killing him. At the same time, they absolved Israel of this. Lol, Had to throw Israel back in there didn't you? Ok, let's see how you throw the blame on them this time. It is as if they are saying Al-Hariri wasn’t good for Syria but he was good for Israel, and this is not true. Oh, so whatever is good for syria is bad for Israel and vice versa? So if Al Harriri opposed Syria he is supporting Israel? I love your logic Bisho. You are not reaching at all. Why are they portraying him as a traitor? Ok, what the hell is he talking about? Did anyone, ever, anywhere, portray Al Harriri as a traitor? Or do you mean, because they are saying he opposed Syria, he was therefore pro Israel and therefore was a traitor? Ehh.. a traitor to who exactly? Is anybody getting this? The truth is that most of them are blood merchants. They’ve turned Hariri’s blood into a stock exchange. This stock exchange yields money and positions. Each newspaper article has a price, each stance has a price, and each TV broadcasting hour has a price. WOW. Ok, this is disgusting. I am done with this. You can read the rest of his speech here if you like. Me out.