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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Monday, March 20, 2006

Count to 4

And you will be forwarded to the new page, you lazy bum who didn't update his links yet you! :P

Friday, March 17, 2006

We have moved!

As some of you have come to find out( who spilled the beans? tell me. Rat them out. I won;t tell them who told), the big surprise was that The Sandmonkey blog has now moved to a new location: It is now both on www.sandmonkey.org and www.sandmonkeyblog.com you know, because I just couldn't decide! Anyway, I will leave this up for you for 2 days so you can update your links, but after will have an automatic forwarding thing that will just take you to the new blog. It's wordpress, which means I won't have problems with the comments or the RSS feed anymore . However, one feels sad when leaving blogger. This has always been my first home, and honestly, if it wasn't falling apart, I would've never left it. This is the place where I spent 14 months and 1844 posts. Now, in order to get the enw blog on top of the google search results, I will have to post another 1844 posts soon. Boy, do I have my work cut out for me! *If I was a smoker, I would be taking a deep breath from my cigarette for emphasis right about now* Time to get to work!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

1,000,000 hits!

Sandmonkey celebration We've come a long way, Baby! We have gone platinum. The Sandmonkey blog has finally passed the One Million hits Mark. Wohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Needless to say I couldn't have reached it without your support, and for sticking by me everytime I was at the end of my rope and felt like quitting. You lift me up people! Thank you all for being the best readers a blogger could ask for. Ok, I am going out to celebrate, and tomorrow will be off, because I am preparing a surprise for y'all. This blog has reached a benchmark, and it's time to take it to the next level. You won't be disappointed*! ;) Love you all, The Sandmonkey! *And those of you who know, keep your mouth shut. Don't spoil it!


Ok, can someone explain to me how the Chairman of CAIR gets elected to the Florida board of the ACLU? CAIR is not pro-civil liberties, and the ACLU's objectives are their total ideological opposite. CAIR is not pro-Freedom of religion, CAIR is not pro- Freedom of speech, and CAIR is definitely not pro-gay rights. So, how does this work exactly? I mean, I knew that the ACLU was run by retards, but, like, damn!

Keep your drug profits home!

Man, only the afghanis can get away with saying something like that! LOL

George Clooney is a LIBERAL

Oh yes. He is a liberal. You didn't know? Well, he even blogs about it. There. Mystery resolved. Now, remember when liberal meant this? Liberalism is an ideology, broad political tradition, and current of political thought, which holds liberty as the primary political value. Broadly speaking, liberalism seeks a society characterized by freedom of thought for individuals, limitations on the power of government and religion, the rule of law, the free exchange of ideas, a market economy that supports private enterprise, and a system of government that is transparent. This form of government favors liberal democracy with open and fair elections, where all citizens have equal rights by law, and an equal opportunity to succeed. Now, how many people think George Clooney, or the Democratic party for that matter, stand for that? Yeah, thought so.

UNC iranian psycho: I did it all for Allah

The Iranian psycho who ran over people at UNC in order to punish America seems to be on a quest to make muslims look crazy. Here, in a letter he wrote to Eye-witness News, he explains the reasoning behind his attack: "Allah gives permission in the Koran for the followers of Allah to attack those who have raged war against them, with the expectation of eternal paradise in case of martyrdom and/or living one's life in obedience of all of Allah's commandments found throughout the Koran's 114 chapters..."

"The U.S. government is responsible for the deaths of and the torture of countless followers of Allah, my brothers and sisters. My attack on Americans at UNC-CH on March 3rd was in retaliation for similar attacks orchestrated by the U.S. government on my fellow followers of Allah in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Saudi Arabia, and other Islamic territories. I did not act out of hatred for Americans, but out of love for Allah instead. "

*The sandmonkey smacks head to desk repeatedly* sigh....

Top 10 coolest Lego creations

This is awesome. It's a tie between the Han Solo one and the Volvo XC90 one.

Clever marketing

This is the way Apple markets it's new IPOD HI-FI: dsc08709 dsc08711 Pretty nifty, huh?

Biden wants to cut and run

If Biden thinks this is the way to be presidential, ehh, he is wrong: Sen. Joseph Biden (news, bio, voting record) of Delaware, who is aiming for the 2008 presidential race, said the Iraqis must have a constitution that unites fighting factions of the society or "it's game over." "We can't want peace in Iraq more than the Iraqis want it," Biden said on NBC's "Meet the Press." "We can't want it more than they want it. And if they don't step up to the ball, we're going to be gone." Ok, this is one of the dumbest statement ever said about this war, because, well, the supreme majority of iraqis want peace. It's just their leaders are too busy playing politics, setting up alliances, and setteling old scores to get that ball rolling properly. Not to mention, this statement is ignoring the effect of Syria and Iran in financing and supplying the warring factions, not to mention the agents of random chaos called Al Qaeda's foreign fighters. But sure, blame the Iraqis and claim that you will get the hell out if they "don't want peace!". And please ignore the mayhem that will ensue the moment the american troops aren't there to stabalize the situation, and encouraging effect and moral boost such a statement must give the Al Qaeda fighters, who must now believe that their campaign to defeat America is succeeding. People, have some persepctive: There are 150,000 troops in Iraq, and only 2,200 deaths after 3 years of occupation with a bloody insurgency going on and an invasion of an entire country. Your casuality rate after 3 years and fighting a major war is not even 2% and you want to just give up and run away? Are you kidding me? Ahh aggrevation in the morning. Try to ignore Biden. Must relax. Think Happy thoughts. Eva Langoria and Jessica Alba mudwrestling...naked. Yes. Much better!

Lightsaber Fight

Lightsabers are cool!

Al Jazeera in English this spring

Great. It's destined to be the american left's favorite News Channel. Me kids american left, but you gotta admit, it will be fun to have the anti-Fox News around, no?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Egyptian stock market drama

*Scroll Down for Updates* Ok, so after this whole thing that happend earlier on today, the people running the stock exchange decided to re-open it at 1:30 (regular session is from 11:30 to 3:30), where the market rebounded slightly, or at least it didn't continue its free fall. So the session ends on a somber note, except that the head of the Stock Exchange "Maged Showky", decided, on his own, to start a special session from 3:30 till 4 pm, where only a select few big Investment funds would get to buy a select few stocks, and everyone else can watch or sell, but aren't able to buy anything themselves. This caused that stock I was mentioning, which is EFG's stock for those who know our stock market, to jump from 33 to 49 EGP by the end of that special session. But it doesn't end there. Maged Shawky gets fired, and the Ministery of Investment announces the cancellation of all the trasnactions that were done in the special session, bringing the price back to 33 EGP. And now there are rumors that Maged was actually fired around 1 pm today for "improper dealings and transactions" and did this as his swan song so to speak. This leaves the name of the his collaborater in his improper dealings left to speculation, but with a strong indicaters pointing towards the Chairman & CEO of EFG-Hermes Yasser El Mallawany, who is a good buddy of Maged and whose company had the most to benefit from this "special session". If this is true, then this will be the biggest scandal of its kind in Egypt, and one that would send the stock market spiraling out of control tommorow. Rabena Youstor! UPDATE: Ehh, how can I explain this? The Ministery of Investment decided late last night to reverse all of its decision, re-instated Maged Shawky, didn't cancel yesterday's "special session" transactions and is pretending as if nothing happend. In other news, the arab stock market lost about 500 Billion dollars yesterday in transactions, and the egyptian small investors demonstrated in front of the Egyptian stock Exchange "demanding their money back". Futile attempts to explain to them that their money isn't actually inside the stock exchange were of no effect, because in their minds that's where "they lost their money, and now they wanted it back". A lot of wailing and shouting ended up happening, but thankfully no one got hurt anywhere except their pockets. And if all of that doesn't just piss you off, the government privatized its cement sector last year and sold it to 2 companies, while enacting measures to prevent the importing of outsdie cement to "protect the local mono..ehh...cement inducstry". This allowed the cement companies to raise their prices 4 times, giving one of them a profit jump from 10 million in 2004 to 271 million in 2005. Talk about a return on your investment.

Pat Roberston has lost it

Seriously, someone commit his ass already: Television evangelist Pat Robertson said Monday on his live news-and-talk program "The 700 Club" that Islam is not a religion of peace, and that radical Muslims are "satanic."

Robertson's comments came after he watched a news story on his Christian Broadcasting Network about Muslim protests in europe over the cartoon drawings of the Prophet Muhammad.

He remarked that the outpouring of rage elicited by cartoons "just shows the kind of people we're dealing with. These people are crazed fanatics, and I want to say it now: I believe it's motivated by demonic power. It is satanic and it's time we recognize what we're dealing with."

Ok Pat, we need to talk. It was kind of funny when you issued your Fatwa against Chavez, in a "Oh look, grandpa is senile and shitting his pants" kind of way. The thing about Sharon was a little cukoo, but whatever, it wasn't in any way worse than the Chavez thing. Now me thinks thinks you have totally lose it. I think you have gone bonkers. And I think someone needs to commit your ass in to a home quick, because you are showing signs that you may not be fit to run your organization or to have the kind of influence you have on people who follow you. It's ok Pat, it's not your fault; you are just old. Maybe it's time for you to retire or to take a nice long vacation somewhere. Whatever you do, just please do me a favor, actually 2 favors: 1) Do it quick and 2) Shut the fuck up. Ok?

The Egyptian stock Market crashes... hard!

The Egyptian stock market crashed really hard today. We are talking 20% losses across the board, the lowest level in more than 6 months. The crash was so severe that the people running the stock exchange shut it down for the day because of the selling panic that took over people, and they are contemplating shutting the market for a week. The stock I was talking about yesterday? It's now worth 33 EGP. 33. From 250 to 33 in 2 weeks. Our IT guy is looking downright suicidal, and this other guy we know from this other firm is now in the hospital's ICU because he had a heart attack yesterday after he lost 600,000 EGP in the market. No one dares to tell him that his losses are now close to a million. The dude could seriously die. This is bad!

Reason# 3454556544 why the Onion rocks

This is too funny: In schools and coffeehouses, parlors and public squares, Iraqis are discussing and debating the revolutionary teachings of activist Iyad al-Naqib, who is being hailed by some as the "Iraqi Mahatma Gandhi" for his commitment to practicing "a bit less severe" forms of violence against infidels and crusaders. Known for sayings such as "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind, so extract a pinky for an eye," al-Naqib, 46, is both praised and vilified throughout the Muslim world for his radical, slightly less violent teachings.

Al-Naqib's followers are instructed to bomb discos on weeknights, when they are less crowded, and to equip suicide bombers with hand grenades rather than multiple sticks of TNT.

Such views earned al-Naqib this year's Mideast Peace Prize, an award administered by the Yemeni government and presented to individuals credited with encouraging what its literature characterizes as "anything remotely close to a rough approximation of peace in the region."


Also read Alturism mocked and what the american people think of the Milosobitch's untimely demise.

Now they have a theme song?

This whole cartoon war thing is like watching The Return of the King the director's cut; every time you think it's going to end, it just keeps on going. Why am I saying this? Well, yesterday, while chilling in a cafe with a TV playing the Rotana music videos channel, they showed a song called "Anyone but God's Prophet" (ellah rassoul allah), sang by a group of unknown singers aptly titled "The Group" (el magmoo3ah). The song was about, you guessed it, the way the Prophet was insulted, how freedom of expression should have its limits and how if you danish infidels really knew him or how much we love him you would've never done what you did, and how we need to get justice over this insult. The singers of the song are all dressed in white, with the females singers wearing Al Hijab (but in the end credits, when showing them singing the song in the studio, they weren't wearing it. Sluts.) and all of them singing it with seriously sad expressions, while a sad flute played in the interlude. Each singer sang 2 lines, and they kept repeating the catchy Chorus, which I don't full rememebr except for the last 2 lines of it, which I think went something like this " It doesn't matter what religion you belong to, God wouldn't approve of this. Anyone except Mohamed, and we have to have Justice/ get even". And then in the end credits, when they show the singers singing in the studio, they have them with serious sad and pensive faces, with a couple of the female singers crying heavily- while in the studio singing- to show how hurt and affected they are by this attack and song and covering their faces from the camera while doing this. Now, the one thought that crossed my mind when I saw this video was "Shit! This will start the whole thing all over again". People were kind of done with the whole thing, with "underground" reports of Lurpak being sold in Mohandeseen supermarkets and everything, and now this song comes along, with it simple yet catchy tune and sad lyrics, and is immedietly destined to become a # 1 hit, if not the # 1 ring tone of egyptians who want to show everyone that they JUST LOVE THE PROPHET, but can no longer find any cheese to burn. I fear that this song will play on people's emotions and will bring back this issue again, because, as the old egyptian saying goes, we would love us a funeral so we could wail and cry. I may be wrong, and hopefully this song won't catch on, but knowing the egyptian people's love for sad catchy songs, especially with the whole fad of islamic pop going on, ehh, I doubt it. The "we are so hurt over the Prophet" movement now have a theme song people. It maybe a little late for the party, but it maycbe the thing that will start it all over again.

The Free Jill campaign

The Committe to protect bloggers is starting a campaign for Jill Carroll. Naturally I am in. Jill Carroll, a freelance reporter working for the Christian Science Monitor newspaper, was kidnapped in Baghdad over two months ago. All indications are that she is still alive. The Monitor has started a campaign, using Iraqi television, to distribute a video asking for Iraqis to help find and free Jill. Jill is not a blogger but she's got that spirit. She's an independent intellect who is fascinated by the world and has a desire to speak what she sees. So let's not leave it up to the newspapers and television stations. She's ours as much as theirs. So, I would like to ask every blogger who gives a damn about individual human life and the individual human voice, to post a link to this video on their blog, to blog about Jill and to pass along our concern to friends, family and other bloggers. Of greatest import are Iraqi blogs and blogs in the Arabic and Muslim worlds that may be read by people in a position to do good for Jill. Here's a link to the Jill Carroll video. And here is the CSM's feed for their Jill page. Olivebranch Network has an informative summary of Iraqi concern and action for Jill. Done and done! Let's hope this helps!

No more Chef

Isaac Hayes is leaving South Park because it disrespected his religion, Scientology, in one of their episodes. Or at least the man who cooks up Chef's voice is. On Monday, Isaac Hayes — who's provided the booming baritone for "South Park" 's cafeteria employee and resident ladies' man since the show began in 1997 — released a statement announcing his desire to be released from his contract with "South Park," blaming the program's "growing insensitivity towards personal spiritual beliefs." "There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins," Hayes wrote in the statement. "Religious beliefs are sacred to people and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil-rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices." Oh really... A spokesperson for Hayes confirmed to MTV News that the soul legend is a Scientologist but would not elaborate on whether or not the "Trapped in the Closet" episode had any impact on his decision to leave. However, according to one of the show's creators, that's exactly what happened. "This has nothing to do with intolerance and bigotry and everything to do with the fact that Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist and that we recently featured Scientology in an episode of 'South Park,' " Matt Stone said. "In 10 years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park,' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons and Jews. He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show. To bring the civil-rights struggle into this is just a non sequitur. Of course we will release Isaac from his contract and we wish him well." In a GQ interview earlier this year, Stone's partner, Trey Parker, said, "To be honest, what kept us from [parodying Scientology] before was Isaac Hayes. We knew he is a Scientologist and he's an awesome guy. We were like, 'Let's just avoid that for now.' ... Finally, we just had to tell Isaac, 'Dude, we totally love working with you and this is nothing personal, it's just we're "South Park," and if we don't do this, we're belittling everything else we've ripped on.' " True that. Plus, of all the religions out there, if there is one we should all make fun of, it should be scientology. Seriously! Those Xemu planet-worshipping people are freaky!

We are Viagra people

It's no secret that Egyptians love Viagra. They do to the degree that people use it as bribes to buy votes. It's not that the men of the country can't get it up, it's just that they like the whole "long-lasting erections on demand" thing. I for one think it's the worst thing that ever happend to us, because it deprived us of a whole generation of "Old wise men". You see, men go through life thinking with their penis, and when they hit a certain age where their "drill sargent" doesn't "stand at attention", they start using their other brain, you know, the one above their necks. That's why we used to have old wise men to counsel us; and now we have Viagra dads. Anyway... There is a big story in the egyptian media in regards to NDP's MP and ceramics magnate Mohamed Abou El Enein, whom they found in one of his shipments 1.3 million pills of Viagra. He, of course, denies involvment, and the government, ever so vigilant when it comes to Justice, arrested the cargo inspecter instead of Abou El Enein. Given that the street price for a Viagra pill is 150 EGP, it means that this shipment is worth 195 million EGP, or roughly $ 34 million dollars, in pure profit. The running joke is that Abou El Enein is the one who brought this shipment to Egypt as a surprise gift to Mubarak, to help him on his quest to really screw the people.

Mystery resolved!

Read this!

Inching towards the million hits mark

Oh man, one more day or so and I am there. Excitment!:)

Google Mars is here


Monday, March 13, 2006

Me and Alaa agree on something

This analysis is quite crappy and discounts way too many people.

Fatwa on female internet freedom

I heard about it, and now Silly Bahraini girl has it and the names of the saudi clerics (surprise surprise) who issued it. The Saudi government, on the other hand, is not satisfied with daily blocking of nearly 200 Web sites. Religious scholars and businessmen affiliated to the Saudi government are starting to launch campaigns against the freedom to use the Internet and the freedom of information exchange. Religious scholars have issued a fatwa prohibiting women from using the Internet without the presence of a mahram (a close relative they are prohibited to marry). This was followed by a call from Saudi businessmen to sue Web sites that call for freedom of thought and secularism, such as the aforementioned Web sites. The Fatwa was issued by 2 saudi sheikhs called Othman Al Khamees and Saad Al Ghamdy, and it states the following: " It's Haram to let women use the internet because of their inside wickedness, and a woamn shouldn't be allowed on the internet without the presence of a Moharam (close male relative) who is an expert in the deceptive and sexually corrupt nature of the women!". I am not making this shit up, people. That's what it said. I don't know, I am pretty familiar with the Koran and the hadith, and not once did I read anything on the internet being forbidden. Those clerics are talking out of their asses so to speak, and their disdain for females is very apparent. The sad thing is, I can see muslim men, especially saudi muslim men, being receptive and accepting to this Fatwa, if not on the grounds of protecting the morals and sensibilities of women from the "western zionist propaganda" available on the net. You know, like equality, self-determination and personal freedom. Whatever...

My poor IT guy

Of all the people in my company, my favorite has to be W. the IT guy. He is smart, funny and self-educated, and I am one of the few people who he can converse with on everything, from life to politics to IT issues. We are good work friends, and our friendship prevails despite my company's inner politics. You see, my company is divided into 2 sections: 1) The investment department, and that's where I work alongside with other US & UK graduated people, and 2) The operations department, which includes the accounting, HR , treasury and IT people, all of which are educated in egyptian universities. It's weird, but there is some kind of caste system here, because the 2 departments are not supposed to mix and mingle. My friendship with many of the operations department people have incurred me the wrath of our general manager, who doesn't like "his people" mingeling with "those people". Whatever. I let him say what he wanted and went ahead and did what I wanted anyway. He can't fire me for being friendly. Anyway.. This division, however, led to some unintended financial consequences amongst our operations department people, the most heavily hit of which was W. You see, they all invest in the Egyptian stock market, and they consult the accounting people for their investment decisions, instead of asking, well, us. As anyone who is familiar with the business world knows, the mindsets between the Finance and accounting people couldn't be more different. I would never take financial advice from an accountant, then I would take accounting advice from a financial analyst. Those are 2 different professions for a reason, and the difference between them is the same as that of between a Policeman and a Lawyer. Most people don't really realize that. W. is one of those people. Based on the advice of his buddies in accounting, he went ahead and bought an undisclosed sum of shares at 250 egyptian pounds, because they told him that the share will hit 300 pounds easily, if not 500 pounds (such is the egyptian stock market). So he went ahead and borrowed 50,000 pounds on top of his 0wn 50,000 pounds and bought that specific share. The Bank he borrowed the money from gave him 2 repayment options: 1) to pay a monthly amount that includes the interest and the principle or 2) to just pay the monthly interest without paying off the principle. The idiot, spurred by the other "experts" in the accounting department, chose option #2, because 1) It's naturally offerd cheaper monthly payments and 2) He was going to double his money in this investment within the month anyway, so it really won't make any sense for him to pay a higher monthly payment when he will pay off everything at once. This was the advice the people at accounting gave him. You can see where this is going, right? Yeah! Needless to say the share never went anywhere but down, and kept declining over the past 2 weeks till it hit 120 pounds today. He lost more than 50% of his investment capital, and is now screwed with paying monthly interest payments that do not reduce the principle at all. And he is not alone in this; everyone in the operations side of the company have lost major amounts of Moolah. But none was screwed as much as that guy. And it kills me, cause had he came to me i would've told him not to invest in that share, as I told everyone I knew. But, oh well, that was the way that cookie crumbled, and that's what you get when you invest your money based on hearsay and unsubstantiated claims and rumors. And the sad part is, that's how the supreme majority of egyptians who put money in the stock market do their investing. And then they wonder why they lose their money. The Poor guy though, you know?

My Personal DNA

It seem that I am a Genuine Inventor.

On a totally irrelevant side-note, It's kind of funny that when you take the test, in the gender category they have Male, Female and an "Other" option. Very hip, no?

Death to everyone

And people are wondering why the west thinks that Iran is a threat?

The Iraqis are turning on Al Qaeda

It took them long enough, but it is happening thanks to Al Zarqawi's stupidity. Al Sadr is blaming them instead of the Sunnis for the Mosque's bombing, the tribal chiefs of Anbar and Kirkuk have announced that they are forming the Anbar Revenge Brigade with the purpose of hunting Al Qaeda foriegn fighters down, and they are already killing them. This marks a twist for Al Zarqawi, who was attacking the US forces and the Shiites simultaniously in order to keep the dvisions between sunnis and shiite alive, and ensure that the sunnis- who he needs to keep him hidden and safe- don't turn on him because he was an effective tool of terror against the Shia. But now, especially after almost getting dragged to the fringes of civil war, the sunni tribal leaders are realizing that this guy is a huge liability. Good. I hope they are the ones that do kill him. I would be very proud of Iraqi sunnis if they were the ones who take out Al Zarqawi.

Muslims against Terrorism petition

Go sign it!

A Final Warning to the American people

Al Qaeda is making threats again. This time they are saying States like Arizona may be hit. I highly doubt it. As I said to my american friends the day after 9/11 happend ( when some of them thought the terrorists would attack Connecticut and Missouri) as far as foreigeners, tourists and terrorists are concerned, America is not really 50 states; It's more like 10 cities. We are talking New York, DC, LA, Las Vegas, San Fransisco, Chicago, Dallas, Miami, and maybe, big maybe, Boston, Cleveland and Jersey City. That's about it. If you are not living in those cities, you are freakin safer than a straight virgin girl in a monestary. This is why , when the Oklahoma bombing happend, that it wasn't arabs and muslims. Of all the places to hit, Oklahoma- like all other midwestern and southern states- would't even register on the terrorists' radar. Too small and too white. The US adminstration knows this too, which is why, in 2002, they had the winter olympics in Utah. There is nothing in Utah first of all, and they figured that if any arabs or muslims showed up there, they would stick out like a black blot on a white dress. So yeah, people of Arizona, relax. I highly doubt they would attack Pheonix. Everyone else who lives in those cities I mentioned, well, you knew it wasn't safe living there anyway. So you might as well also chill, you know?

Where Wahhabists are taking Saudi


Klinghoffer: Al Qaradwi enforces Bush's view

You know, she is kinda right!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Why am I pro women rights? part 2

Because of this: aaaa.27 This chart shows the percentages of women in parliament in Middle-eastern countries. As you can see, the top 3 countries are Afghanistan (27.3%), followed by Iraq (25.5%) , and in third place Israel (15%). 2 are occupied by the US and, well, the other one is Israel. Make your own conclusions! Now, How much are women represented in Egypt's parliament? Ehh, 2%. That's it! And we used to be the region's women rights pioneers. sigh..

Men's reproductive rights

Here is an interesting new trend in the UK and US: Reproductive rights for men. Men have finally discoverd that they should have some rights when it comes to women having their babies, since they do have to support them afterwards. However, as they say: Choose your battles; and the men- who are calling for those rights- have been choosing some very weird ones. In the UK, the European Human rights court denied a British woman's request to use frozen embryos against her ex-fiance's wishes. She says it's her last chance to have a baby since she had ovarian cancer, while her ex is saying :"I broke up with her crazy ass, and I don't want her to have my babies anymore". This one I support: A man should not be forced to impregnate a woman with his sperm if he doesn't want to, especially one he broke up with. The one I don't support is this one: The man who is suing a woman that got pregnant with his baby because he doesn't want to pay child support. His argument? He didn't want a baby, she told him she couldn't have one, and now she is pregnant and keeping it. Since only women have the right to keep and abort the child no matter what the men fathering them think, he contends men should be able to choose not to support said child if they never wanted it. This, of course, is crap. Yes, the way abortion works now is crappy for the men, cause they don't get to have a say in anything, but the moment the baby is born, you are responsible for it. It's your flesh and blood whether you like it or not. And next time, no matter what the woman tells you, use a condom. Even if she is on the pill use a condom. The Pill won't protect your ass from STD's Bubba. Safer that way. So men, to recap: All is fair until the woman gets pregnant. After that, sorry, you are screwed! So, be a man and deal with it!

March 14th should be Men's version of Valentine's day

Or as the people who are advocating for it call it: Steak and BJ day! March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th! It is only fair!

Gamal is the next President

I know it, You know it, even the WP knows it. Then why are they still denying it?

Stuff the media won't show you!

104569484_91048e5c86 (h/t AhmedT) I agree!

May the shmoozing begin

The 2008 GOP presidential hopefuls are starting their campaigns it seems. Not wasting time are we? The Sandmonkey endorses Condi for President. Go Condi!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Just a thought

Here is something that I just thought of: Does it ever strike you as odd that the muslim world hates Bush more than he does Milosevic and Saddam? I mean, the first engaged in a massive genocide against muslims (and was stopped by the US and Nato forces), and the other attacked Iran, Kuwait and Saudi, murderd thousands of their people, let alone killing thousands of Kurds and Shia's. But who does the average arab/muslim hate? Bush. How does this work again? Does anyone know?

Good Riddence

Milosevic is dead. Found dead in his Cell. And I am actually happy and glad, cause the guy is a murdering scumbag who had it coming for a long long long time. I hope he burns in hell for what he did. And hopefully Saddam is next!

The Danish conference is a failure

With all the shit that already happend, and with the dialogue being the way it is, is anyone surprised?

Ban Don Quixote

One of my readers, Paul, answerd my question on which Book the world muslim population should ban next. The answer was, incredibly, Don Quixote. Why? Well, here is his e-mail: In Chapter V we read: "...he thought himself of having recourse to his usual remedy, which was to think of some passage in his books, and his craze brought to his mind that about Baldwin and the Marquis of Mantua, when Carloto left him wounded on the mountain side, a story known by heart by the children, not forgotten by the young men, and lauded and even believed by the old folk; and for all that not a whit truer than the miracles of Mahomet."

And in Chapter XVII "They are at enmity," replied Don Quixote, "because this Alifanfaron is a furious pagan and is in love with the daughter of Pentapolin, who is a very beautiful and moreover gracious lady, and a Christian, and her father is unwilling to bestow her upon the pagan king unless he first abandons the religion of his false prophet Mahomet, and adopts his own." Perhaps more objectionable might be Cervantes' racial slurs, e.g. Chapter 9: "If against the present one any objection be raised on the score of its truth, it can only be that its author was an Arab, as lying is a very common propensity with those of that nation" Nice! BAN DON QUIXOTE!

A new Jesus conspiracy theory

There is this new book coming out that claims that Jesus is not a prophet, and never really wanted to start a religion, but instead wanted just to rule Israel and was the bastrad son of Mary and a Roman soldier. Oh yeah. This reminds me of this other book I read, it was called "The Christ Conspiracy: The greatest story ever sold!". The book, written by an archeologist, basically had the premise and the "historical evidence" to prove that not only was the story of Jesus stolen from the Legends of Horus and Vishnu, but that the disciples never really existed either, and were taken from other eastern legends. That the whole thing is a myth. For real. I thought the whole thing was incredible, because, well, not only did the author of that book disprove christianity and jesus, he disproved Islam as well. You see, the Koran is very specific in its mention of Jesus and Mary and christianity as a previous religion of good. If you prove that Jesus didn't exist, then by extension you prove that the Koran is false, and poof, you have gotten rid of 2 religions for the price of one. I am glad no one on the islamic side of things made that connection yet, other wise this dude would've gotten killed faster than you can say Fatwa.

Why am I pro women rights?

Well, because of statistics like these!

Kidnapped Christian peace activist found dead in Iraq

This is very sad: The body of the only American among four Christian peace activists kidnapped late last year was found in west Baghdad with gunshots to his head and chest, Iraqi police said Saturday.

Tom Fox, 54, from Clear Brook, Va., was the fifth American hostage killed in Iraq. There was no immediate word on his fellow hostages, a Briton and two Canadians.

The U.S. command in Baghdad confirmed that Fox's body was picked up by American forces on Thursday evening, although it provided no information on the condition.

An Iraqi police patrol was also at the scene, said Falah al-Mohammedawi, an official with the Interior Ministry, which oversees police.

He said Fox was found with his hands tied and gunshot wounds to his head and chest. There were cuts on his body and bruises on his head, al-Mohammedawi said.

This is even sadder:

Christian Peacemaker co-directors Doug Pritchard and Carol Rose said in a statement, "In response to Tom's passing, we ask that everyone set aside inclinations to vilify or demonize others, no matter what they have done." So, the people who killed this man unarmed peace activist aren't villians or evil and we shouldn't call them that would be demonizing them. We shouldn't judge the killers of un-armed peace activists, people. That would be wrong. Hmm... Ok! That makes sense! Sigh....

Feeding the ever-expanding ego part ..ehh..I lost count

So, let's recap: Tomanbay critcizes me. I respond. Yasmina and APOBE defend me. Senefru supports me. Galal thinks I am a narcissist. And Canadian Pharaoh thinks we are at war and offers to "mediate". And then we have the comments: Mohamed thinks i am a tyrannical hypocrite. Hani thinks I don't know what I am talking about. Alb Sayed gets depressed because of me. Tomanbay thinks I have a narrow focus, am intolerant and wielding an inferiority complex. And Candian Pharaoh believes that "unlike him", I haven't really "brought any concrete solutions to the table". (Read Canadian Pharaoh everyone. He has the solutions.) This is both funny, entertaining and incredibly boring and depressing at the same time. I have people continiously insulting me when I never insulted them, calling me names when I never been anything but respectful towards them, and yet they can not possibly believe that I am not in agreement with them. It's as if they think I have to prove myself to them and think exactly like they do, or I will risk "alienating them". It's as if they are contantly saying "How dare you say what you say? Your opinions are at variance with my own. You are therefore a hypocrite/self-hater/inferiority complex wielding/western-appeasing/Uncle Tom/blah blah." And then are surprised that I am not succumbing to immediate case of shameful self realization that I am wrong and they are right, flog myself in penance and then offer to not write anything without getting their approval first. Yeah, Ok! Guys, here is a novel idea: We can have a difference of opinions. Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but like, we can actually disagree on stuff. Yes, I know, I know, but believe me, it's possible. And not only is it possible, it's quite a good thing. I love me a good debate or argument, and nothing turns me on more than someone who mya have a completely different point of view and is capable of backing it up. I love that. I would like to see that. Hellme and Orientalism were masters at that, which is why I was very depressed when they pulled the plug ( and guys, if you are reading, puleeezeeee come back). I felt that the debate lost something that day and it still hasn't gained it back. I am aware I may not have all the solutions or the whole thing figured out, which is why I loved and respected their persepctive, even if I disagreed vehemently with them. They were capable of making me rethink things, unlike, well, you know who you are. Anyway: Let's agree that we are mostly on the same side. Let's agree that we may disagree on opinions or methods of approaching the problem. And Let's agree that this is ok, and quite possible, without actually needing to personally attack each other. Don't get me wrong, I love the attention (Mohamed, you know you have a crush on me), but this has become infantile. So to stop this retardedness, I vow not to write anything else in regards to this topic on this blog. It ends here. Now, have a nice day, and please rememeber: There is such a thing as a difference of opinions. The Sandmonkey

Friday, March 10, 2006

My girls got my Back

You know, when Tomanbay went after me in his post, I wasn't very surprised, because it's not the first time this happens to me, especially from an egyptian male blogger. You see, the funny thing I have noticed about the sandmonkey egyptian readers demographic is that it is very much divided along gender lines: The majoirty of the guys have serious issues with me, if not outright hate me, while the girls, ehh, how do I put this, they LOVE ME. This phenomenon is not limited just to egyptian girls either; it's middle-eastern girls in general. And all things considerd, I am glad this is the way it is, because it means I am appealing to the thinking segment of the egyptian- and arab- society. Not to mention the cutest segment too. However, when I am just web-surfing and I stumble upon something like the open letter that Yasmina and A Pair of Borwn Eyes wrote in my support and posted on both their blogs, it just makes my heart warm up. Thank you girls for the the thought and effort put in this. Thank you very very very much.

Yemeni lawyers demand the death penalty for local cartoons publisher

Ok, someone, anyone, please send some of the Qatt drug* they love so much over to Yemen; they are starting to lose it all over again. (Hattip: The brilliant, very cute and unfortunately married Natasha) Yemeni lawyers have called for a newspaper editor to be sentenced to death for showing cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad, his paper says. Muhammad al-Asadi was arrested after his publication, the Yemen Observer, showed the Danish cartoons in February. He denies the charges of offending Islam, under which he is being tried. The English-language newspaper has had its licence to publish suspended, although its staff have continued to produce material online. Lawyers leading a civil case against publishers of the cartoons - in addition to the public case - cited precedents from Muslim history when the prophet was insulted by a woman and then praised her killer. Ha. Ok. That should make the Prophet look good, don't you think? Christians, rejoice. The muslims are doing your evangelical work for you. "Our prophet once praised the man who killed a woman who insulted him. Now doesn't that make you want to follow him? What did yours say? 'Love thy enemy' and 'who lives by the sword , dies by the sword'? What a wussy. Ours praised the killer of a woman who insulted him, and we like to follow his footsteps." *The Sandmonkey smashes head to his desk 4 times really really hard. Feels dizzy for a minute. But the pain distracts him from his rage the necessary time it takes to finish this post.* And then we wonder why this happens. Sigh....

*Qatt is this cheweable drug that all people in Yemen chew, and it makes them all docile and lazy, until they run out of it. The last time they ran out of it, they had a civil war, and the country split in two (and depressingly, I am not kidding either). I fear that there maybe a couple of lawyers who did run out of it again, and they need some Qatt sent to them A.S.A.P. before they succeed in what they are demanding. Even if you are against drug use, get behind the "send yemenis Qatt" initiative. Wea re talking about someone's life here.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

First it's a cartoon, now it's a voltaire play

The French Muslims want a 265 year old play by Voltaire banned because- wait for it- it insults the prophet, and, of course, things got violent. Read this while I continue to smack my head to my desk:

A municipal cultural center here on France's border with Switzerland organized a reading of a 265-year-old play by Voltaire, whose writings helped lay the foundations of modern Europe's commitment to secularism. The play, "Fanaticism, or Mahomet the Prophet," uses the founder of Islam to lampoon all forms of religious frenzy and intolerance.

The production quickly stirred up passions that echoed the cartoon uproar. "This play ... constitutes an insult to the entire Muslim community," said a letter to the mayor of Saint-Genis-Pouilly, signed by Said Akhrouf, a French-born cafe owner of Moroccan descent and three other Islamic activists representing Muslim associations. They demanded the performance be cancelled.

Instead, Mayor Hubert Bertrand called in police reinforcements to protect the theater. On the night of the December reading, a small riot broke out involving several dozen people and youths who set fire to a car and garbage cans. It was "the most excitement we've ever had down here," says the socialist mayor.


Mayor Bertrand considered dropping the play. But after talking to aides and voters, he decided to stand by Voltaire.

A meeting two days later to defuse the crisis got nowhere. Mr. Bertrand, flanked by officials from France's security service and other state bodies, quoted a section of France's constitution that guarantees free speech. Mr. Akhrouf and Mr. Ouardiri pleaded with authorities to try to understand Muslim feelings. Mr. Akhrouf broke down in tears. "I was very emotional," he says.

The night of the reading, riot police took up positions outside Saint-Genis-Pouilly's cultural center. An hour into the performance, the mayor got called out of the hall because of street disturbances. The mayor says the mood was "quasi-insurrectional," but damage was minor. Police chased Muslim youths through the streets.

Now that tempers have calmed, Mayor Bertrand says he is proud his town took a stand by refusing to cave in under pressure to call off the reading. Free speech is modern Europe's "foundation stone," he says. "For a long time we have not confirmed our convictions, so lots of people think they can contest them."

A frenchie with a backbone. Go Bertrand!

Ok, so now let's play the game of what's next. As in, what will the muslim population of the world demand banned next? Any suggestions? My vote goes for Dante's Divine Comedy, because it says in it that the Prophet goes to Hell and gets tortured there, which I am sure is offesnive to the world's muslim population. Do you think it will be next, or will it be something else?

Let me know!

Ritzy is Back

Now you can finally stop asking me where she went. Ask her instead!

Another proof that Hamas is evil

Hey, some people still are not convinced. Maybe this will do it!

The Cairo Mock trial Of Bush and Sharon

Here is a partial transcript of the Mock Trial of Bush, Blair and Sharon that was held in Egypt and organized by the Union of Arab Lawyers, and was supposed to be attended by Goerge Galloway , but he was denied entry to the country (hehe). Here is the opening statement: The bureau of the Union of Arab Lawyers has decided to convene this popular international trial. Why a popular trial? In order to reflect the helplessness and feebleness of the official Arab regimes, just like the official world order.


I believe that it is our duty to remember the millions of dead, throughout the world, who sacrificed their lives in defense of truth, justice, and peace, and especially the martyrs of the Arab and Islamic nation in Palestine, Iraq, and the rest of the Arab [world]. I ask you to stand for a moment of silence in their memory, and in protest against the Zionist Western power, operating against Islam and the Muslims.

You can imagine how objective of a trial this is going to be. Now here is an idea Union of Arab Lawyers: How about you try Hosny Mubarak for what he did to Egypt, or Saddam Hussein for his crimes? What? Too sensitive? Then how about you try Nasser for his crimes against Egypt? What, he didn't commit any? How about removing Muhammed Naguib, suspension of human and political rights, abolishing property rights, squandering Egypt's fortune, kicking the egyptian jewish population out of Egypt, throwing thousands in gulags, starting wars that killed tens of thousands of Egyptians for his own personal glory, and-my personal favorite- having the egyptian intelligence agency train Yasser Arafat, Muammer Qhaddafi, Hafez Al Assad and Saddam Hussein to be his straw men in their countries so he can be the President of the United States of Arabia? I mean, can you imagine that the crimes committed by those 4 leaders wouldn't have been committed if it wasn't for him training and funding them? Doesn't that make him responsible for destroying not just his own, but 4 other arab countries, not to mention the wars that were sufferd in Jordan, Lebanon, Iran, Kuwait and Saudi because of those assholes he trained? Why aren't you trying him again? Hmm... Honestly, the day the egyptian people realize what a piece of shit Nasser was and stop glorifying the man who ruined this country and countless others, is the day I will believe there is hope for us yet!

The internet political divide

Ebay is for capitalists, Borrow me is for socialists!

Amr Khaled vs. Al Qaradawi

Fight Fight Fight

Ports deal spoil the party!

The House said No, the Senate might say yes. How this will end is anybody's guess! Wow, I rhymed! Me is so talented!

We are all Traitors

Jimmy follows the "thinking process" of the radicals to its inevtiable conclusion.

I heart my PC

This is what your computer should do every morning!

Egyptian Man arrested for eating Danish cheese

Big Pharaoh has the story. Only in Egypt man. Only in Egypt!

Did the Koran get reported to the german police?

I received this e-mail yesterday, and I was wondering if any of my Danish or German readers could provide me a link to confirm it. Berlin. Monday morning the prosecution authorities in Hamburg found a letter containing a highly unusual police report, which had been filed during the weekend. The police report is an indictment against the Koran, according to the filing organisation because the Koran is incompatible with the German constitution. Therefore, the proclamation of its words must be stopped, it said. The police report has for certain been filed in Hamburg, Niedersachsen, Nordrhein-Westfalen and Bayern, and most likely also in more German state unions. Lately, in a number of TV talk shows, some politicians have stated that the Koran is incompatible with the German constitution. On the 29th of January the Turkish born author Serap Cileli said that “the Koran must be historicized, it is incompatible with our constitution and human rights”. Now the Bundesverband der Bürgerbewegungen (BVB, union citizen movement), which filed the police reports, wants to bring the question to the court. Jutta Stark, who filed the police report in Hamburg, says that the Koran also was reported to the police two or tree years ago, but at that time the case was dismissed. The decision then was based on the view, that the Koran was to be seen as a historic book. “The many events in the past months have made it clear, that the Koran not only is a historic book, but in the highest degree a potent political book, which we proves very detailed in the police report” Jutta Stark said. Source: Jyllands Posten (DK) Link, anyone?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

How am I an extremist? Let me count the ways!

(Half of this post my response to Tomanbay’s criticisms, the other half is the answer to the above question. If you want the second part, just skip to bolded part that starts with “Which brings us to the part..”)

Time to give my 2 cents…

I had very conflicted feelings towards Tomanbay’s post about me to tell you the truth. One part of me (the reactionary part) immediately saw it as an unprovoked and largely unexpected attack on me and wanted to respond in kind, one part was immediately flattered by the time and effort he took to convey a point he wanted me to realize, and another part was kind of mad because with his post he ruined what I hoped to achieve by writing my post on Paradise Now, or at least shifted the debate to a direction I didn’t want it to take, as I will explain. But I would like to thank him for writing it anyway because it also brought my attention to something I wasn’t aware of: a lot of people who read me don’t really get or understand what I stand for and hope to achieve by writing this blog, so I am going to address his points and my critics in a way that hopefully will help shed more light on my reasoning and motivations- since a lot of people seem to be confused about that. If there is one thing that I agreed with Tomanbay on though, it’s that I am an extremist myself, and as extreme as some of the Wahabbi extremists, and you will see why I am this way, and why you should thank me for it, by the end of this post.


All right, but first things first, and my post on that movie will come first, or actually what I hoped to achieve with it, will come first. Here we go:

Ok Tomanbay, here is a question I wanted to ask you: How stupid do you think I am? Really? Have you not seen me present arguments before? Don’t you think that I am smart enough to present such an argument as the one I presented here with such a huge chink on my argument armor, as repeating twice that I didn’t see that movie, but will criticize it anyway? Didn’t that strike you as weird at all? Just a little strange? Didn’t you think for a second that it was presented that way, because it was supposed to push people’s buttons?

Man, I wrote this post with 2 goals in mind: 1) To mock all the people in our media who keep praising the movie and talking about “how the Jews are fighting it because it shows who they really are” without actually seeing the damn movie. I mean, you would think from the amount of support this movie was getting from all of those people who didn’t see it but were excited about it anyway that it would just make the rest of the world suddenly be ok with palestinains blowing themselves up, or understand how evil the Joooz really are. They were defending and praising a movie they didn’t see, just on the principle of “if the Jews are opposing it it must be good” mind you, and nobody had a problem with that at all. That, my friend, pissed the shit out of me and I was just trying to give people a taste of what that’s like when it’s reversed. Just being an asshole as usual. But that’s not the main reason why I wrote it.

The second reason- or goal- was to provoke a reaction out of my readers, especially the Palestinians amongst them. I fully expected the Palestinians who read this blog to take an issue with me on this post, since- as we all know- the movie doesn’t really support suicide-bombing. You see, part of the sandmonkey experiences is provoking people; to put them on the defensive and to get them to explain themselves and what they stand for. Writing this post in such a way will force every Palestinian out there that reads it to mention the positive message of the movie, decry suicide-bombing and the stereotyping of arabs. I did it fully realizing that not everyone will think this way, and some might even cuss me for it, but that’s ok, because it wasn’t really about me this time. Not really. Think about it Tomanbay, who reads my comments section? Don’t people always call my commenters “right-wing nutjobs”? Well, what will those “right-wing nutjobs” read in such a comments section then, other than Palestinians decrying suicide-bombing and violence, and criticizing stereotyping and ignorance? Can you imagine the effect of that? Do you think that’s the view they usually get of palestinains, thanks to the asshole elements of the likes of Hamas? Of Course not. And it was working too. It was starting a dialogue until you wrote your piece and changed the debate from the movie and the image of palestinains to the "Sandmonkey is a bad extremist” love-fest you had on there, which of course ruined the whole thing. Oh well. Such is life.

But besides what I intended to do, let me make something clear: I do have an issue with that movie, especially after what I heard of it, for the reason everyone states in its defense: It doesn’t condemn or condone suicide-bombing and that it leaves the viewer free to make their own conclusions. For me, in the times we are living in, and with the debates being the way they are, and with the deadly trifecta elements of ignorance, poverty and oppression feeding the fire of extremism in Islamic youth, I am not sure leaving them to make their own conclusion, after what I am assuming to be an emotionally charged movie, to be a very wise thing. I mean, doesn’t it disturb you that every movie we have on the topic glorifies the act of suicide bombing as a heroic form of self sacrifice and never the opposite? I mean, most of our people will go to such a movie with their schooling and their films telling them that blowing themselves up in order to kill your enemy is ok, so, like, what kind of a conclusion do you think they will come out with? I mean, would it be bad for once to show a movie that says, that maybe, just maybe, that suicide-bombing is wrong and that it kills innocent people? Would it have killed the director to make that the message of the movie instead of being neutral on the subject? Is that really too much to ask?

I mean, I get it that it shows that innocent people will die (the scene with the little girl on the bus in the end and all) and therefore the suicide-bombing is bad, but that’s for people who will think about the movie and its message later on, and I don’t know if a lot of people-from our side of the fence at least- will do that. I mean, after all that’s been happening lately, I am starting to doubt that our people think at all with their brains, and instead just follow their emotions. I don’t think I need to explain to you how dangerous that is; I mean, anyone who has been watching the news lately can see that for themselves.

And then you have the idiots, like this lady that left this comment on your blog:

Thank you for this post. It was right on! I can't believe SM had the audacity to attack Pradise Now without watching it and REFUSING the simple idea of humanizing the suicide bomber. Suicide bombers are not animals they are, surprise, surprise, humans! Yes! You have no idea what it takes to be willing to end your life like that.

Ok, I will say it slowly and hopefully you will get it: I don’t think suicde-bombers are animals Sonia, because I respect animals. I think suicde-bombers are monsters. I think they are mass-murdering idiots and don’t deserve an ounce of sympathy from me. I don’t know why that is: Maybe it’s because I was at the Hotel in Ras Shaitan in october of 2004 when one of them blew himself up not 400 meters away from where I was, and I saw the dead bodies, blood and carnage he committed in his efforts to kill - get this-tourists. Not Israeli army officers, not the evil American occupiers of Iraq, but rather your simple innocent by-standing tourists, who I am sure had it coming because, ehh, why is that again? Can you tell me? I would like to know.

You see my friend, that’s why I think they are monsters. It’s because I know they don't give a damn or care or differentiate between their victims. Those are the kinds of people who blow up school children buses, slaughtering 32 children, to kill one US soldier in Iraq. They are murderous nutbags, plain and simple, and even if they would like to differentiate between their victims, their bombs wouldn't, and that's the sad truth. So here I am, an arab muslim egyptian male, and I am well aware of all the history and the injustices and all the other excuses we all know and are ready to spout on a second's notice, and yet I can't seem to care about those people anymore. For me, as far as I am concerned, they want me dead. Not me personally, but if I die for being in the wrong place on the wrong time, they wouldn't really care. And you know something? I am not really ready to die. I don't wanna die. I want to live. I have places to see, parties to go to, girls to sleep with and children to screw up raising. And if it's between me- or you for that matter- and 100 of those Koran thumbing allahu akbar shouting misogynistic racist jihadist assholes, it is no contest: I choose us. They've got to go. It really is that simple.

Hope I made myself clear on that front, and now back to you Tomanbay, and your criticisms of me. The first one, the port deals one, is stupid, because if you read the IMAO parody, you would understand that it was making fun of the people who were against the deal. It was logically refuting every argument people were raising against the UAE taking over the ports, while making fun of the critics misconceptions of arabs as being “all terrorists who want to kill them all”. In my opinion it did it brilliantly, which is why I was surpised to know that this is when you started “questioning my motives”. I was like, come on Tomanbay, you are smarter than that. You are the guy who would get this.

And then the second point you raise is about my praising of Deeyah and my ridicule of Samy Yusef. First of all, I don’t think the comparison is valid, mainly because I don’t think Deeyah is exploiting Islam as some people claimed she was to gain fame and success. That argument is so stupid that I can't believe some of the people who I know to be smart spouted it. Yes, I am sure she did that, because the teen pop-music listening anti-islamic crowd is so huge and her albums would reach platinum easy, right? Not to mention, she would have the most sold-out concerts, cause I am sure her fans wouldn’t be afraid of some nutbag trying to blow himself up and kill her. And I am sure she just doesn’t care about the death threats she gets, or the fact that she has to surround herself with bodyguards all the time, because she must be making a ton of money from the anti-Islamic feminist pop-music crowd. Yeah. Sure. Are you kidding me? No one, unless a true believer in the cause she is championing, would do what she is doing, because, let’s face it, they don’t want to die, not even for the supposed money she would get out of this (How will she get this money again? Can you tell me?). Exploiting Islam to sell pop-music albums. Yeah, that’s the ticket. That's the untaped market. The Islamic Defamation Foundation (IDF, hehe) must be supporting her as well, and it’s all bankrolled by the Jews who want to destroy Islam. And women in muslim countries aren’t oppressed at all. Yeah, ok!

As for Samy Yusef, hey, I reserve the right to make fun of whomever I want, and let’s face it, anything Islamic these days in our countries is commercially successful and people are noticing it (Check the new Islamic songs of WAMA and Mostafa Kamar if you want an example). So am I saying he is doing it for the money? Who knows? Maybe. I am sure the money doesn’t hurt. And good for him for finding his niche. I ain’t hating on him for that. I just didn’t like that song he made, especially with its hidden messages, and I chose to make fun of that one. I mean, come on, him singing a song for veiled girls explaining to them what they should say about how the veil most of them are pressured and forced to wear makes them feel like? How can I not make fun of that?

And let me be honest with you, I might respect him the day he starts singing against Islamic terrorism or even the subjugation of women, or any of the other real issues and problems we have in our culture. He isn’t. He doesn’t even talk about it and brushes them off, like all of them do, and pretends that the real problem lies in the west not understanding Islamic culture. No man, they do understand it, and they are starting to see the festering problems that we are ignoring. The cracks in our wall. That’s our real problem. Deeyah is addressing that problem, and therefore is not commercially successful and has death threats up the ass, while Samy isn’t at all, and that’s why he is making money. To me the dude is like the singer version of Amr Khaled : He talks about the positives and ignores the problems that need addressing. Fine, it’s his right to do that. It’s my right not to like it.

This brings us to the part where we talk about my extremism. And if you are still reading then you are a champ, so I am not going to disappoint you. I will admit it. I am as extremist in my beliefs as “the radical, extremist, fanatical jihadiys”. In that you are right, but you also got to understand, it’s not by my choice, I am forced to be this way, and I am doing it for YOUR own good. Let me elaborate.

There is an ideological war going on in regards to Islam and in our societies I believe, and the Jihadis are winning. There are 3 reasons why they are winning: 1) The reluctance of the moderates amongst us to admit there are problems that need addressing, thanks to our stupid belief that “we shouldn’t air our dirty laundry”; 2) Because in any debate between the moderates and the extremists, if there is to be a compromise, it will always be in the extremists favor; and 3) Because the extremists, if they face defeat, they will just threaten their ideological enemies, if not issue a takfir Fatwa on them, which will lead to a moron attempting to- if not succeeding in- killing them. And because of those 3 reasons I am the extremist that I am today.

You see, we can’t fix our problems without addressing them, so I therefore make sure to point out the negatives all the time, because I believe that it is our duty to fix them, and that if we do fix them, then no one will be able to criticize or attack us. And that, in the eyes of many, makes me an extremist and a self-hater. Fine, whatever. But someone has to do it, and since very few are stepping up to the plate, I guess it has to be me. And that’s the first reason why I am an extremist.

The second reason I am an extremist is the reaction to reason 2 of why they are winning: The scales aren’t balanced. You see, any consensus achieved between the moderates and the extremists will only mean one thing: they reached a compromise. This would naturally mean that the extremists agreed to move closer to the moderates, but it also means that the moderates have to also move closer to the side of the extremists, and that’s what’s happening now in our societies. And this is not what we want, or what we should strive for. We want the society to remain moderate, but without extremists on the other side to balance the Islamic extremists, the society will always tilt in their favor. What we need are secular extremists who will not give an inch to counter the Islamic extremists in order to balance the society and move everyone more towards the middle. To make it a place where we all can live and co-exist. But we don’t have any Tomanbay, and that’s why the moderates are losing ground. Knowing the stakes, I stepped up, because as always, no one else is willing to do it. I am not enough by a long shot, but I am a start, and hopefully more will join me and will help balancing the scales of our society. That’s why I am an extremist, and why I will not budge on certain issues.

The third and final reason lies in the nature of this ideological war, and how it unfairly favors the islamists, simply because they will not allow themselves to be defeated. You see, they view themselves to be absolutely in the right; the agents of God on earth so to speak. So any dialogue with them will not be fair, because in their minds they are the right muslims and their oppositions are the ones who are misguided and who have to prove themselves. Not to mention, if you manage to beat them in a debate- which is easy- they will not just concede defeat and accept your points. They will view you as a threat to “God’s will” and subsequently they will view it as their duty to get rid of your infidel Kafir Islam-hating ass. This is why people are afraid of debating them or attacking them; they fear for their lives and they don’t want to get killed. I say screw that. I say fuck them. I say if they have no problems killing those who oppose them or their ideology (i.e. Us), then we have every right in the world to kill them back. Hell, it would be self-defense. And that’s why I am an extremist; because I would rather kill those who have no problem killing or threatening people (i.e. YOU) who don’t conform to their views. I value my and your life over those who preach death, and since I want to live and want you to live, I have no problem with the death preachers dying. I say let’s see how this debate will go when their Death Fatwa heads start getting killed back. I say until they stop and abandon the method of killing those who oppose them, we shouldn’t have any moral qualms at all about killing them as well. It’s self-evident, yet hard to swallow, and probably too Manichean to the average person, but someone has to do it for all of our sake. I get that, and that’s why I am an extremist.

Now, do you think I like it? Do you think I like being this extremist? Do you think any of the people, who suddenly found themselves part of this war and reacted the same way I did, like this stupid "Clash of Civilizations" either? Man, I am 25. I come from a well-off family, I have a sweet job with a big pay and lots of friends. I could be enjoying life like the rest of the useless idiots in my social class, talking about who got engaged to who, whose driving what car and who got photographed in what socialite magazine. But the world is going to shit Tomanbay, and very few people are doing something about it, and I can’t just stand still and watch it slide to oblivion. I can’t do that. I do what I do because it needs to be done. I am what I am because someone has to be. This is not fun, man. But I can’t just not do something. I have to do what I do, because I am compelled to do it, and no one else will take the job.

This is why I will talk about the rights of Christians in Egypt when no one talked about it. This is why I called the boycott thing retarded and started to remedy the situation even before anyone else said it. This is why I was one of the people who tried to start anti-terrorism protest in Egypt after the Sharm-bombing, while the rest of the country debated how much of a discount they can probably get if they went to Sharm now. I am waging an almost solitary battle to make the world understand that we are not all the crazy extremists violent assholes the extremists make us to be. And I always have to be in the forefront of it all, because none of you so-called moderates will ever take the first step. I always have to take it for you. Do you understand how much that sucks? And do I even get a thank you from you guys? No. I get criticized and attacked, and called an extremist. Fine. Thanks a lot. Whatever.

I am not going to be bitter about it Tomanbay, or even get angry over it, because, honestly, I am so used to this reaction that I have come to expect it by now. Not to mention, I made that choice to fight this battle, and as weary as I am, I won’t quit before I am 100% sure that it’s a lost battle, regardless of criticisms and attacks. For the simple reason that someone has to do it, and nobody else will. Because I value my life and yours, and the freedoms that we are all entitled to. That’s why I am called an extremist. And if that’s what an extremist is, then I am proud to be one.

Sandmonkey out! PS: If you managed to read the whole thing, then you rock, and you should leave a comment so I can know who you are!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Tomanbay has me all figured out!

Oh yeah, he dedicated a whole post just for me, basically breaking down how exactly I am not a libertarian, how i take contradictory positions and am really as closed minded as wahabist extreemist. He has me all figured out as the hypocrite that I am...and of course I agree completely. He got me pegged! And he does it so well too. I mean the post has almost the same quality of his other posts. It's that good! Thanks Tomanbay. As if my ego needed to get bigger! :)

Keep on confessing

The confessions so far have been awesome. I am playing the game now of matching the confession to whom I thought confessed it. Keep them coming people by continuing to confess your secrets anonymously here. Honesty maybe scary, but it's really entertaining. Oh yeah, and it's the best policy or something like that as well. So yeah, Honesty. Good. Keep it up!

Paradise what?

Before you continue reading this, I want you to know that I have not seen the movie Paradise Now yet, so I am not making a judgment on the movie, the script, the ideas behind them, or anything like that. If someone wants to make a movie that makes suicide-bombing look appealing, that's their business, and the Academy Awards people can chose to praise it all they want. That is not my beef today, since those are not my people. I think you now figured, that by implication, whatever beef I have over this film, I have with my people. And it all comes down to a single question: Do you really have to be THIS excited about THAT movie? I am sure it's a "tour de force" and "a staggering artistic achievment" and all that crap they put in trailers, but will you please stop for a minute and realize that you are all very proud and very excited over a movie about suicide-bombers? A movie that attempts to make us understand, and thus excuse, the motives behind suicide-bombing? And that's what you are so proud about? Is that the one thing we really want the west to understand about us? How does this logic work again? "Ahh...See, now here is a movie that will show them that suicidebombers are normal people,just like you and me, who, due to their living circumstances, just chose to blow themselves up and kill other people. I am sure once they see it from our point of view, they will be as ok with us doing it as we are!" Guys, a movie that attempts to show that suicide-bombers are your average run-of-the-mill palestinians does as much good to the palestinain cause as the rule that australian cops shouldn't arrest the men in domestic abuse cases in muslim households because "it's part of their culture to hit women" does to the reputation of Islam. And yet arabs praise the suicide-bombing movie, as much as australian clerics hailed that "wife-beating is a muslim thing" rule as "positive step" in "mutlicultural tolerance" and shows "acceptance" towards Islam. And then people wonder why the west views arabs and muslims as terrorists and opressers of women. Gee, I wonder why! For this reason, even before seeing this movie, I declare that I stand against it and what it stands for, and I won't be hailing it in any way, even if it's good. And I vow to redicule every single person that I know that gets excited about this movie and it's reocgnition as something "postive". Hell, if there was really a jewish conspiracy they wouldn't be protesting against this movie, they would be putting it in every movie theatre out there and then going "told you all those people are terrorists" while pointing to the influx of praise such a movie would get amongst arab and muslim people as ultimate proof. Unfortunately for us, the "evil Jooooz" don't really need to plot against us, cause we have become experts in shooting ourselves in the foot that way. So please, even if it's the best movie ever made, don't support it or praise it. We don't need those stereotypes enforced people, trust me on that one! Update: IMAO informs us how the fact that this movie didn't win an Oscar helped the academy dodge a bullet. Or bullets. Crossfire really! It will also explain the reason behind Ben Stiller's green suit!

A lesbian voted homecoming King

Interesting.. So.....ehh.....is it safe now to call her a royally butch lesbian? And if a gay guy ran for homecoming queen and won, wouldn't calling him a queen be kind of redundent? Does anybody know the rules on those things? I really wanna know!

Sure beats the Oscars

The lebanese national reconciliation dialogue in pictures, where war criminals, militia leaders, opprutunist presidential wannabees and Businessmen who hate each other and plot behind eachother's backs pretend to play nice while in reality they are lining up to kiss Hezballah's Nasrallah's ass.


This is Samy Yusef AP publicity article, which shows him as the "postive role model" that he is for "hip Islamic youth". Easy job when the only other available role-model is Bin Laden I guess. Hey, don't look at me for making that comparison; he did it first: Such role models are exactly what Muslims need, Yusuf believes. "The only famous people we know of are Osama bin Laden and his crew, and this is very dangerous because unfortunately some youth ... are frustrated and are attracted to extremism," he said. Yes Samy, a role model youa re indeed. I look up to the way you use..I mean exploit..I mean.....ehh..involve religion in your....eh... art. And I am sure the money has nothing to do with it at all. Here are the lyrics of the song he wrote for veiled girls, explaining to them what they should say about how the veil most of them are pressured and forced to wear makes them feel like. Notice the line on "you speak of democracy"? Very underhanded, don't you think? Very bad western world. Very very bad! Now let our girl be free by having us cover them up. Ehhh... I wonder when someone will declare a fatwa on his ass for making veiled girls love him. We can't have them thinking about Boys now, can we? In other totally unrelated news, Yanni proved to be the douchebag I always thought he was. Awesome!

The calm voice of a Psycho

Rememebr the iranian idiot who ran over people in UNC because it was "the will of Allah"? Well, the police provided his 911 phone call, which you can hear here, and it's scary. It's not scary because it's menacing or threatening or anything like that. It's scary because he is calm. He is very very calm on his phone call with the police. He was patient, polite, unemotional, relaxed and exhibited a clairty of someone who knew exactly what he was doing, knew the consequences, and had no qualms in any way about doing it. It's as if he made the phone call because it's the thing to do after doing what he did; the logical next step. Listen to it and tell me I am imagining all of this. Those are the people who scare me: Not the hysterical violent types, but the calm methodical ones. The people who attempt to kill people with the same emotional effort it takes to swat a fly, and show the same level of concern for both. The hysterical violent types I understand, I can handle. This other type, for some reason, I can't!