.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Friday, September 30, 2005


"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." Churchill Make your choice, You know where I stand!

Just to end this once and for all

One last time: The US won't invade Venezeula. It wouldn't make sense for it to do so. They might assassinate the crazy bastard that is Chavez, but no Invasion will take place.

Too many masterminds

The valiant Egyptian Police has taken out 2 Sharm Bombings suspects, of whom they said were yet another 2 masterminds behind the bombing. Given that this is like the 5th time they anounced they arrested or shot a "mastermind" behind the Sharm Bombing, color me officially unimpressed.

Now there is a symbolic babystep

It's not much but it's a start: The Palestinian Authority has started a crackdown on public displays of weapons. Palestinian authorities began enforcing a ban on public displays of weapons Thursday, arresting three people and confiscating the guns of off-duty police officers in a key step toward imposing order in the chaotic Gaza Strip. [...] In a move to bring order to Gaza, Palestinian officials on Thursday announced a ban on public displays of weapons, and Hamas said it would honor it. The Palestinian police chief, Ala Husni, said that in the wake of Israel's recent pullout from Gaza there is no longer a reason for anyone other than security officers to carry weapons. "The role of resistance weapons has ended in the streets. They should go back into storage and they should not show up in the streets," he told a news conference. "Any weapon now in the street is a criminal weapon." He said there were no plans to seize stored weapons. Good baby step Abu Mazen, now take out Hamas and I will be impressed!

In defense of Intelligent design

I found this slate article "defending" intelligent design to be very amusing! Check it out!

Artsy Fartsy

Some of you may have noticed the new link at my sidebar, but I created another blog for my own , you know, personal stuff. You know, like personal writing, lyrics, quotes, and other general artsy fartsy stuff of the like. This blog is 50% politics, 30% entertainment and 20% personal, and I figure that the majority of you only come here for the politics and the entertainment, so I thought it would be best to seperate the personal and give it its own space. If you are into this kind of thing, then by all means, go visit it! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Oh my God

I am seriously surprised by this, but it seems that abstainance-only education is working: Teen pregnancies and birthrates among teens is at an all time low. Whoa. The decline, to the lowest teen birth rates since national tallies began in 1940, is a remarkable personal health reform, sharper than U.S. declines in smoking or increases in seat-belt use. Counselors who work with teens cite many factors but give much credit to more cautious and assertive girls. "A lot more of us are making our own sexual decisions. That way, you don't get pushed around by your partner who wants you to do more," said Anna Bialek, 17, of Princeton, N.J. "Of course, that can work both ways." Whatever the reasons, teen pregnancies and births are down about a third nationwide from their peaks in 1991, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. If the 1991 rates had persisted, about 1.2 million more children would have been born to teen mothers by 2004, Congress' Joint Economic Committee estimated last year. "It's a big success story," said Dr. John Santelli, a Columbia University public health professor and the lead author of a recent analysis of the decline. He attributes about half the drop to teens saying no to intercourse. The other half, he said, is due to their using contraceptives more often and more efficiently. I don't know about you, but I think that's good news!

For those who miss their childhood

Here is a virtual Lite Brite for you! (Hattip Nikki)

State department report findings

This AP piece talks about the report that the US state department compiled on America's image in the world and it made me laugh my ass off. Let me show you why: Bad Bad America: For what can be heard around the world, in the wake of the invasion of Iraq, the prisoner abuse scandal at Abu Ghraib, and the controversy over the handling of detainees at Bagram and Guantanamo Bay, is that America is less a beacon of hope than a dangerous force to be countered," the report said. The committee and other academic and official travelers found a "sense of crisis" abroad, the report said. "Put simply, we have lost the goodwill of the world." Not so Bad America: While U.S. policies in the Middle East were condemned, the American system of higher education, science and technology were praised, as were the values of freedom, democracy and individual dignity, the report said. "America is still seen as a place where things can happen, where change is not feared; a land of diversity, openness, candor and generosity," the report said. And the perfect ending: It also urged the streamlining of visa procedures for international students. LOL It's official, The world opinion on the US is schizophrenic.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

It had to happen sooner or later

Here is a great rant by someone who seemingly has had it with Boston drivers and the way they seem to "drive". If you have ever driven in Boston or had to deal with them massholes and their shitty driving while reading the Boston Globe and talking on a cellphone, then you know exactly what this dude is talking about.

Suffer the little hellspawns

I hate to tell you this, but your children are ruining the neighbourhood. Money shot: I know it is not politically correct to talk about it, but your children are terrible citizens. There is a 100 percent unemployment rate among them, and they endanger the neighborhood with their reckless behavior—running out into the streets without looking, going off with disreputable strangers and tying up the police force in fruitless searches, spreading disease with their dirty hands and mouths. They bring nothing of value to the neighborhood, and the programs that cater to their "development" plaster the subway stations and alleys with their ugly, unintelligible artwork and poetry. The other day, one of them actually rooted through my purse in broad daylight as I lunched at my favorite sushi café, and when I smacked the offending child, I was the one thrown out into the street! Oh, well, heaven forbid we be accused of violence to minors—it carries a greater charge! Your children really have a grip on the country's legal system, and they've obviously completely taken over the schools. One can't say anything against them—people clam up immediately, and you can see the horror in their eyes. Hehehehe

Well, the Mujahedeaniacs would still worry me!

The always awesome and funny Mcsweeny site has a list of Not-so-threatening Islamist groups. My personal favorite? It's a tie between the Abu Nidal Ladies Muffin Club and the Log Cabin Martyrs Brigade.

Karen Hughes vs. muslim women

Karen Hughes is not enjoying herself on her middle-east tour; she is metting discontent with muslim women in 2 countries, both of them are US allies. First Saudi, then Turkey. Bad news, no? Let's take a closer look, shall we? The Women of Saudi meetup: The Audience? The audience - 500 women covered in black at a Saudi university - seemed an ideal place for Karen P. Hughes, a senior Bush administration official charged with spreading the American message in the Muslim world, to make her pitch. An ideal place? Really? Ok! Who picked them and what segment of society do they represent? The group of women on Tuesday, picked by the university, represented the privileged elite of this Red Sea coastal city, known as one of the more liberal areas in the country. The Priviliged elite. Clearly the most oppressed of all saudi women, no? It even shows in their grievences: She seemed clearly taken aback as the women told her that just because they were not allowed to vote or drive that did not mean they were treated unfairly or imprisoned in their own homes. "We're not in any way barred from talking to the other sex," said Dr. Nada Jambi, a public health professor. "It's not an absolute wall." Not an absolute one, but a wall nonetheless! LOL And then there is the Michael Moore effect A woman in the audience then charged that under President Bush the United States had become "a right wing country" and that criticism by the press was "not allowed." LOL As for male chauvinism and that pesky question of women's rights? "There is more male chauvinism in my profession in Europe and America than in my country," said Dr. Siddiqa Kamal, an obstetrician and gynecologist who runs her own hospital. Yes, there is Chauvinism in the west, which makes the one we have at home Ok. "I don't want to drive a car," she said. "I worked hard for my medical degree. Why do I need a driver's license?" "Women have more than equal rights," added her daughter, Dr. Fouzia Pasha, also an obstetrician and gynecologist, asserting that men have obligations accompanying their rights, and that women can go to court to hold them accountable. Oh my God, this is too funny! I am laughing my ass off. Hehehehehehehee! Gotta say, Saudi men really know to how to "break-in" their women. For those of you who may disagree, I am sure those women could've spoken up against male domination and managed not to get beat up by their men at home. No? Well, enough of Saudi, on to Turkey, where things kept getting interesting for Karen, If interesting meant continuing to hear idiotic arguments: "You are very angry with Turkey, I know," said Hidayet Tuskal, a director of the Capital City Women's Platform, referring to what she characterized as United States reaction to opposition in Turkey to the Iraq war, which she said was a feminist issue because women and children were dying daily. "I'm feeling myself wounded," Ms. Tuskal added. "I'm feeling myself insulted here." Ok, does anyone get her point? She opposed the Iraq war because of women and children dying in it, and wasn't concerned with the women and children dying under Saddam? And it's a femenist issue? She feels wounded and insulted? What? Ohh, and please, american readers, let's take a survey: Every person who is "very angry" at Turkey for not supporting the US in the war raise your hands. Every person who couldn't give 2 shits about Turkey's support anyway-like the rest of the world- please refrain from laughing at her idiotic statement. And it just keeps getting better: Fatma Nevin Vargun, identifying herself as a Kurdish rights advocate, said she was "ashamed" of the war and added that the United States bore responsibility. Referring to the arrest of a war protester at the White House on Monday, she added, "This was a pity for us as well." She is a kurdish rights activist and opposed to the war that gave the Kurds their rights. Is anybody else getting this? Ahh, me loves the New York Times. It always gives me a good laugh!

It's all Barbra Streissand's fault

Matt Drudge proves that the cause for Katrina and Rita and other hurricanes is not Global warming, but Barbra Streissand, who is of course trying to deflect the guilt by declaring a "Global Warming emergency", but the evidence is all against her. But Sawyer did not remind Streisand that a Category 5 hurricane struck the Bahamas with 160 mph winds -- when the singer was five years old, in 1947! And when Streisand was 8 years old, a Cat 5 hurricane -- named "Dog" -- packing 185 mph churned-away in the Atlantic. When she was 9, a Cat 5 storm named "Easy" ripped the seas with 160 mph sustained winds. Streisand was 13 years old when "Janet" hit Mexico with 150 mph winds. Streisand was celebrating her sweet sixteen as "Cleo" formed with 140 mph. At 18, Streisand read news about "Donna" AND "Ethel" -- both storms carried 140 mph winds and formed 9 days apart in 1960! And the list goes on and on. Stop the madness and future Hurricanes : For the good of all Humanity, Kill Barbra Streissand! It's the right thing to do!

An Open letter to Cindy Sheehan

You must read this. (hattip MVRWC)

We shouldn't get involved

The Palestinian President Abbas, wants Egypt to get more involved in Gaza, because he can't seem to be able to control shit over there. Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, saying Hamas is partly to blame for the latest bout of violence in Gaza, has sought to enlist Egypt's help to halt the rapidly deteriorating situation in Gaza and the West Bank. "The situation is deteriorating very gravely and if it does not come under control, it will be complicated and a third party, such as the Quartet, should intervene to stop the escalation of the events," chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erikat said on Wednesday after two hours of talks between Abbas and Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. Ok, here is what I don't get: They wanted their independence and they said they can handle the security and control the situation if the Israelis withdrew. So, whatever happend to that plan? Or was it, as usual, too much talk and not enough action? Look, we shouldn't get involved. The Palestinian people need to figure their own stuff out and handle their business, instead of always asking for help. Abbas should take out Hammas and all the other fringe groups, isntead of just saying "they are doing bad things" and not doing shit about it. If he is to be a leader, he has to lead, instead of just running to everyone else for help and the only way this will happen is if nobody else gets involved, especially us.

UFO's welcome here

This is awesome: People in this sleepy hamlet are so sure they have been receiving other-worldly visitors, they want to build a UFO landing strip to welcome them. A bright green sign along a lonely country road in southwestern Puerto Rico proudly displays a silhouette of a flying saucer and two words: "Extraterrestrial Route." Most Puerto Ricans laughed when a horse farmer installed the sign on his property at the request of Reynaldo Rios, a local elementary school teacher who says he's been communicating with alien visitors to this U.S. territory since he was a child. Rios, a 39-year-old with a goatee and a shock of dark hair, won't be ignored. With the blessing of a local government desperate for tourist dollars, he's dedicated himself to building the UFO landing strip. Gotta love dreamers, even if they are the tinfoil wearing kind!

The Jihad news network

Al Qaeda has launched an Internet News Network called the Voice of the Caliphate, and you can guess what kind of stuff they are saying: In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate. The headlines of this news summary: Gaza has been liberated – a great victory, yet a weighty responsibility. In Iraq, Abu Mus'ab Al-Zarqawi declares a war of Sunni vengeance, and Hurricane Katrina is the beginning of the divine, just punishment. [...] Welcome to the program "The Nation's Weekly News Summary." First, the "Sout Al-Khilafa" team sends its best wishes to the Islamic nation for the defeat of the Zionist occupation in a portion of occupied Palestine. We also congratulate ourselves on the destruction caused in America, by one of Allah's soldiers. The Muslim multitudes in Palestine were seen thronging to the liberated lands, waving the banner of victory. Meanwhile, the mouthpieces of the so-called Palestinian Authority spoke about disarming the mujahideen under the pretext of what they called "the weapons anarchy." But the response of the mujahideen groups on the front lines was clear. They announced their refusal to disarm as long as the occupier remains in the land of the Muslims. We now move on to the occupied land, to the land of the Caliphate, the glorious land of Iraq. The American wolves, and behind them the Rafidite Shiite dogs, have desecrated our (women's) honor in Tel'afar and other Sunni cities, while the Muslims and the scholars of the Sultans keep silent. The valiant hero, the Emir of Al-Qaeda in Iraq, Abu Mus'ab Al-Zarqawi, rose to defend the honor of the pure Muslim women in the robbed land of Iraq. In two consecutive communiques, he declared the beginning of the Sunni vengeance raid. The entire Islamic world overflowed with joy when Hurricane Katrina struck in America, which seemed to reel from the strength of the hurricane and went asking for aid from all the countries of the world. Broken and completely humiliated, George Bush, a fool who is being obeyed, announced his obvious incapability to deal with the wrath of Allah that visited the city of homosexuals. LOL Ok, I gotta say: I love it. This is great. If anyone ever doubted the insanity and viciousness of those people, this is the eprfect way to erase all doubt. I just hope they broadcast this on the nightly news, so the anti-war protestors can see whom they defend. On another note, I find the fact that they launched this news Bulletin, right around the same time when it seemed that Tayseer Alouni's indictment was inevitable, sort of telling. They lost their boy at Al Jazeera, so they went ahead and created their own network. Say what you say, those boys have a sense of initiative. Ohh, yeah, and they also showed solidarity with him in a special boradcast: According to the breaking news report, which just appeared on the Qatari Al-Jazeera TV, the Spanish court deliberating the case of our Muslim brother, Tayseer 'Alouni, sentenced him to seven years in prison. The Sout Al-Khilafa media company released a communique over the internet, harshly condemning the conduct of the Spanish Crusader infidel court towards the Muslim journalist Tayseer 'Alouni, a reporter for the Qatari Al-Jazeera TV. The communique expressed complete solidarity with our brother Tayseer 'Alouni in this crisis and in light of the injustice from which he is suffering because of his reliable and completely objective reporting, which complied with the internationally accepted journalistic standards. Yeah! Al Qaeda morons, I would like to inform you that calling him a brother, isn't really helping his case. He is trying to prove he is not affiliated with you guys. Good job on screwing him over further you morons. Keep it up!

Senator Affleck?

The democrats are truly scraping the bottom of the barrel with this: Virginia hasn’t been kind to Hollywood celebrities who dabble in politics. That hasn’t stopped rumors that actor Ben Affleck is being courted to challenge Republican George F. Allen for his U.S. Senate seat in 2008. The tidbit appeared this week in The Washington Post’s gossip column, which also noted that Affleck has been spotted shopping for property near Charlottesville. On Monday, C. Richard Cranwell, chairman of the state Democratic Party, declined to discuss Affleck. Affleck’s publicist has denied the chatter. The dude hasn't had a hit on his hands for years, clearly the kind of winning material for a democratic candidate for the US Senate. No?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Awesome complaint letter

Giving this the "Complaint Letter of the Year" award is no overstatement. It's that good!

Christopher Hitchens opens a can of whoop-ass

Watch how he bends those at the Anti-War rallies over, breaks off a switch and proceeds to open a can of whoop-ass on their collective behinds in his new column. Sweet!

RPS rules

If you are a fan of Rock Paper Scissors but are pissed off by it's lack of possibilities or limited probabilities of outcomes, here is a better way to play it: RPS 15, with more then 15 gestures instead of the usual 3! And if you are really fanatical about it, here is the RPS 25. But good luck remembering all of those outcomes, all 300 of them. By the way, if you do memorize them, you officially have an awesome memory and way too much time on your hands.

Top 10 Cannabis Colleges

Those are the Universities you want to avoid in case you don't want your kid to have a "Higher education". I am very dissapointed though: My University is not up there and it was the kind of place where the RA will write you up for smoking weed if you didn't buy it off of him. But then again we scored 7th on the Nation for the Top 10 sluts colleges according to Playboy, so I guess that makes me happy!

Spam you will never see

If you hate spam and it's boring repetitive titles, you will love this.

Some sort of Minority

With Roberts seemingly on the easy road to confirmation, Bush is now looking for someone to fill that other vacancy in the supreme court, and he is reprotedly looking for a minority. "I will pick a person who can do the job. But I am mindful that diversity is one of the strengths of the country," Bush said Monday. He is under pressure from many quarters — including his wife — to pick a woman or a minority for O'Connor's seat. You know who I think he wants to nominate.

Taliban v. 2.0

The Taliban seems to be experiencing some sort of revival, with a lot of signs of funding and sophistcated training. Yet, US and Afghan intelligence sources suggest that the Taliban have shown recent signs of confidence - or desperation. Roadside bombings have increased 40 percent this year over last year, according to a report by the UN. These bombings have become increasingly effective, using "shaped" explosives used by Iraqi militants against US forces there, set off by sophisticated remote-control devices. Perhaps more important, the Taliban are sticking around to fight US forces after they detonate roadside bombs, using heavy machine guns, rocket-propelled grenades, and Kalashnikovs to pin down US troops and increase casualties. When they are captured, the Taliban often carry high-tech radio equipment, and are even wearing new sneakers, all signs that the insurgents have found new financial support. It's either Heroin or Saudi. It's not really that hard to figure out! Right? Hmmm....

George W. Bush: the first Gay Preisdent?

Well, there seems to be a theory suggesting that! :P

Sharon is staying

I am not one who likes to say "I told you so!" but, wait, who am I kidding? I love saying it! Sharon is staying and I TOLD YOU SO! Suck on that defeat Bibi, you goddamn wanker!

Lebanese security officials are helpless

After yesterday's assassination attempt on May Chidiac, which cost her 2 limbs, Lebanon went through a series of unified anti-syrian protests, while the Lebanese security officials admitted helplessness in stopping the attacks. Interior Minister Hassan Sabei warned of an ongoing "terrorist plot" to destabilise the country and acknowledged the government was finding it difficult to break the chain of attacks. The government's admitted helplessness in tracking down the perpetrators of the bombings lends credence to public fears of increased violence as the country anxiously awaits the findings of a UN investigation into the murder of former prime minister Rafiq al-Hariri, a probe which could possibly implicate Syria and some of its allies in Lebanon. Sabei said security agencies would intensify their intelligence gathering efforts. "We are facing some kind of phantom, a certain person or party, who are professionals and who have hatched a terrorist plot and are carrying it out," he said after a meeting with security agencies led by Prime Minister Fuad Siniora. Gee, I wonder who could it be?

Monday, September 26, 2005

Told ya so

You are a
Social Liberal (68% permissive)
and an...
Economic Conservative (86% permissive)
You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Mubarak's payback

No longer worried about his re-election or the need to appease the americans, Mubarak decided to stick it back to the US by announcing his support to Syria and opposing any efforts to alienate it. Egypt praised Syria's cooperation with the investigation into the assassination of Lebanese ex-prime minister Rafiq Hariri and warned that Damascus was a key player for regional stability. [...] "There should be no finger pointing to Syria or any other country before the independent report is submitted to the UN," Awad said. "It would be a serious mistake to make hasty speculation." "Egypt categorically refuses the isolation of Syria, calls for the stability of this country and warns that no new source of tension should be created in the region," he added. "The stability of Syria is the stability of the region". "Not to mention", he added " If you guys keep this up and remove him, the region will be running out of dictatorships that make ours look good and that is not good for this regime's stability. People may start demanding actual change and shit and we can't have that now, can we? This is what Pan-arabism is all about people!" Sigh..

Give this blog a BOB

This blog has been nominated to the BOB awards. The BOBs - BEST OF THE BLOGS - Deutsche Welle International Weblog Awards 2005 and while i relaize that my chnaces are not that great, I would like to try to get a BOB anyway. So please, if you like this blog, give it a nod for the BOB awards. The BOBs - BEST OF THE BLOGS - Deutsche Welle International Weblog Awards 2005 Thank you!

Coming soon to parish near you

originally uploaded by sandmonkey.

This is just funny! “Keanu Reeves fought against the powers of evil, a priest comes to help people fight against sin. There is a battle out there,” explained Father Jonathan Meyer, associate director of youth and young adult ministry for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.” “The concept was really brought to life, however, in a meeting with the archdiocese’s Youth Council. During the meeting, the concept of Father Meyer dressing up as Neo, Reeves’ character in The Matrix, was jokingly suggested by one of the students.

‘It was one of those things where everyone laughs and then you move on to the next topic. Only after the meeting, I came back to this one,’ Father Meyer explained. “ No comment!

Oh lord, there is another one

I can't fuckin believe this, there is another one: A Long Island woman has pleaded guilty to second-degree rape for providing the hotel room and the liquor so her 13-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old friend could have sex with two young men they had just met. The woman, whose name is being withheld to protect her daughter's identity, allegedly told investigators it was time for her daughter to "have sex and get it over with." The mother, who lives in Sayville, took the girls to White Plains for an overnight shopping trip in April. The girls ran into the men -- Gilberto Gonzalez, 19, of Pleasantville, and Michael Berger, 18, of White Plains -- at a mall, and the men came to the Crowne Plaza Hotel, where the mother and girls had taken a room. The mother bought beer and hard lemonade for the teenagers and admitted Wednesday in Westchester County Court that she was with them in the hotel room when the sex occurred. What the hell is wrong with New York mothers? First the woman who helps her boyfriend rape her 11 year old daughter and now this woman? That's it. I am not , ever, gonna marry a woman from New York or raise my children in New York. There must be something in the water there or something that is making mothers act crazy. New York is out people. Out!

Mother gets 11 year old daughter drunk for sex

This is disgusting: A woman admitted Thursday giving her 11-year-old daughter alcohol so her live-in boyfriend could have sex with her. The Hyde Park mother, whose name was being withheld to protect the victim's identity, pleaded guilty to attempted rape. Her boyfriend, 41-year-old Henry Kiernan, pleaded guilty last week to two counts of first-degree rape in exchange for a 19-year prison sentence. He's one of three men accused in a series of sexual assaults on the woman's two young daughters between August 2002 and January 2004. Humanity has reached a new low today!

The Syrian war on Lebanon continues..

...and it's latest victim is the anti-syrian journalist May Chidiac. A prominent anti-Syrian news anchor was seriously wounded when her car exploded in Lebanon on Sunday, fuelling fears of a slide into violence as the U.N. wraps up a probe into the murder of an ex-prime minister. A security source said the bomb weighed around 500 grams (one pound) and was planted beneath Chidiac's white four-wheel-drive. It exploded as she was getting in, wrecking the car. Doctors said her left leg beneath the knee was blown off in the blast, which also set hair and clothes ablaze. They also operated to try to save her left hand. She was in a stable condition in hospital on Sunday night. When will they cut this shit out, I have no idea, but I think it's safe to say that the world is losing pateince with Syria!

In defense of Porn

As a part of the FBI’s War on Porn, aka the “we ain’t got nuttin better to do” initiative, the FBI is paying agents money to surf porn sites and are ordering Amateur porn sites, like Suicide girls, to take down pictures they deem obscene. Nevermind personal freedom, nevermind they are doing nothing illegal and it’s all happening between consenting adults. Nope, obscene, take them down. So what exactly is the test for obscenity? Well… Under current American law, the Miller test is the means by which the courts determine if content is obscene and consequently not eligible for first amendment protection. The Miller test evaluates the literary, artistic, political, and scientific value of content as well as contemporary community standards. If content or expression is well within accepted community standards or it has intrinsic value, it does not constitute criminal obscenity. According to an electronic memo from FBI headquarters, established legal precedents indicate that conviction is most likely in cases where the content "includes bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior." I am gonna go out on a limb here and say that Miller is not kinky in bed. Look, I have to say it: The War on Porn is fuckin stupid and a waste of time. I don’t think the government should be allowed to tell consenting adults what they should or should not do as long as they are not doing something Illegal. And don’t even give me the “what about the kids” argument, because those websites all require credit card payment authorization to get on them. Look, bestiality, urination, defecation and all that shit doesn’t turn me on, but it apparently does for other people, and as long as they like it without hurting anyone, who am I to tell them they can’t have it? I think this is an effort to legislate taste and morality, and I am not even gonna go into how this will hurt the multi billion dollar Porn industry that provide needed billions in tax revenue. I honestly think that this war is political in nature and that it has an ulterior motive. I believe that its purpose is to make Gonzales more popular among the religious right groups, thus guaranteeing their support for him for supreme court nomination. The religious right hasn’t been very happy with the Roberts pick because in many ways he is a moderate, and they want someone who will advocate their point of view more. The way Gonzales is handling this situation will likely make him their new hero and rev up support for Bush. I honestly don’t care less if Gonzales becomes the next supreme court justice and if he can pull it off, then good for him, but don’t let Porn be the price of his admission.

Sharon vs. the likud part 2

The Likud continues its march towards self-destruction by trying to take on Sharon: They actually cut the electricity during his speech. If the rumors of his pending retrirement are untrue, it's gonna be sweet to watch him leave the Likud and then destroy it!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Send Cindy Sheehan to Egypt

Freedom for Egyptians has an awesome post on what would've happend to Cindy Sheehan had she been demonstrating in Egypt and not in the US. It almost makes you kinda wish there would be a way to ship her ass over here, you know? She also has a great piece on US-Egypt relations and how Egyptians really feel towards the US. Check it out as well!

Whatever happend with that?

Does anybody know whatever happend with the super stand-off between 4000 of our coruageous heroic police forces and 15 terrorists on a mountain? I haven't heard a peep in the media since the police got too afraid to go up and fight, so i am guessing that one of 2 scenarios happend: 1) The police generals- after seeing one of their own die- decided it wasn't worth the risk and packed and went home; or 2) They are all still camped out there, all 4000 of them, continuing the "stand-off" with the 15 armed men. Either way, those are the clowns handeling our security. I love this country!

On compassion and inclusiveness

This is just stupid: A 14-year-old student was expelled from a Christian school because her parents are lesbians, the school's superintendent said in a letter. Shay Clark was expelled from Ontario Christian School on Thursday. "Your family does not meet the policies of admission," Superintendent Leonard Stob wrote to Tina Clark, the girl's biological mother. Stob wrote that school policy requires that at least one parent may not engage in practices "immoral or inconsistent with a positive Christian life style, such as cohabitating without marriage or in a homosexual relationship," The Los Angeles Times reported in Friday's edition. What the girl had to do with her "parents" sinful lifestyle is beyond me. What was she supposed to do, force them to seperate? Preach every day to them? She is 14. Not to mention, Mr. Christian teacher, do you realize what opprutunity you lost yourself here? Here is someone who, according to you, lives in a sinful household. Do you reach out and try to "save her"? Nope, You kicked her out and sent her back in it. I am sure that's what Jesus would've done, no? All I see is stupidity around me!

Headache...rising blood pressure...grrrrrrr

I am not even gonna comment on that one: The American public, and even the decision-makers in Congress and in the American administration, are looking for a solution, and there have been many proposals in Congress to set a timetable for withdrawal. They are trying to tell us: "We want to run from this resistance." This is because they weren't acquainted with the Arab nation and public. They weren't acquainted with the Muslims' courage. We love death as much as they love life. We love martyrdom as much as they love life. This is why they are in total shock. Therefore, I say that America is nothing more than a paper tiger. When an American soldier comes face-to-face with an Arab or Muslim soldier, he cannot do it, he flees. He becomes mentally ill. One sixth of the American army in Iraq are mentally ill. They're running away en masse, it's a defeat! Those who go to Washington don't want to return. No comment. Just no comment!

Musharaf busted!

As if General Musharaf isn't enough of a douchebag that he made the life of 2 women who got raped in Pakistan hell and deported one of them, he went ahead and claimed that those women got raped willingly to fly aborad and make millions. Facing an increased scrutiny from women groups in countries he doesn't control but needs their help, he then claimed that he didn't make those remarks and it's all the media, only to have the WP people post a link to the audio version of his interview, where you can hear his remarks loud and clear. Musharaf, you piece of shit, You got busted!

I like that

Answering the War protesters!

Ohh yeah! Posted by Picasa

Hillary, McCain are meeting with Sheehan

Oh, what I would do to be a fly on the wall of that meeting!

Friday, September 23, 2005


I have been telling everybody that after Israel withdraws the Palestinians will start ripping each other apart, and it looks like it's starting to happen. Aljazeera's correspondent in Gaza reported four killed and 25 injured while Reuters quoting medics told of 10 fatalities. Hamas sources said five members of its armed wing died in Friday's blast. AP reported quoting hospital doctors that seven Palestinians died and 85 were wounded when a pickup truck carrying masked fighters blew up at the Hamas rally. The explosion occurred as thousands of Hamas members and supporters attended a rally in the impoverished Jabaliya refugee camp to celebrate Israel's historic pullout from the Gaza Strip, witnesses said. So, would Hamas admit that they messed up and maybe, just maybe, realize running around with wepaons and explosives could end up causing their people to get hurt? Nahhhh. They blamed Israel. Seriously.... Hamas blamed Israel, saying Israeli aircraft flew overhead during the rally. Israel denied it was involved. LOL Unbelievable!

The War on... Porn?

This is just so stupid that it makes me ill that it's true: It seems that the US's close relationship with Saudi is influencing this adminstration or something, cause the FBI is declaring War on legal Porn. Ohh, I wish I was kidding! Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. Attached to the job posting was a July 29 Electronic Communication from FBI headquarters to all 56 field offices, describing the initiative as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and, by extension, of "the Director." That would be FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III [...] The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults. "I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage." Must be. They should call them the "American Muttawaa" squad! No?

God Damn it

NOLA is getting flooded, again! Maybe selling it back to the french isn't such a bad idea!


Beth has an excellent post on Religion vs. Art that is sure to make you think, no matter what religion you subscribe to! Check it out and tell me what you think.


Here is a genius way, America, to not have to worry about the billions needed to rebuild NOLA after Katrina and how much they would increase the deficit or ruin the economy: Sell back Louisiana to the French. Hell, you will even make some money back on the deal. ;)


No one forwarded this to me, I just wanted to do it! I have that kind of sick desperation in my life. 10 years ago- I had just reconciled myself to the fact that I was entering a new school where none of my childhood friends will be attending. I had just left my old school by mutual agreement with the administration. Something about how it wasn’t cool to spit in a foreign teacher’s face who likend Egyptians to pigs. That teacher was promoted that same year to become next year’s Asst. Headmaster, so things were not in my favor in my “hearing”. It’s all good though: I ended up hooking up with his daughter and I used a special mixture of break fluid and sand to give his car a second coating. That special mixture is impossible to remove without completely destroying the car’s paint, so the guy ended up paying an arm and a leg to remove it and repaint the car. Good. Fucker had it coming! 5 years ago- I had just left the country for the USA where I was going to go to college. I was looking forward to the States for 3 reasons : 1) I had just gotten out of the mother of all break-ups, which had gotten exponentially worse due to the fact that my father started dating her mother after we broke up; 2) I heard really good things about that “Matrix” movie and I was hoping I would be able to catch it in the movie theaters; 3) I really really wanted to put 12 hour of flyingtime between me and my parents. Imagine my surprise when I discovered an awesome bonus to going to college in the states: The unbelievable amount of morally loose girls who think that the fact that you are from Egypt to be “so cool” and who are willing to sleep with you just so they can say that they “had an Egyptian lover”. God I miss freshman year! 1 year ago- Living in denial over the fact that I had to leave my life as I’ve known it for the past few years behind and go back “home” where it wasn’t really home anymore. My solace was 1) the ridiculous amount of fun that my friends were having with me because my days were numbered; 2) the insane amount of sex that I was having with my girl at a time because every minute is important; and 3) the belief that I would be back by November because renewing my visa wouldn’t take more then 2 weeks anyway. I was unaware of the new 9/11 regulation that forced me to stay stuck in Egypt till the following year’s February when the Visa Gods in the state department, after a lot of investigations, finally decided that I wasn’t a “potential terrorist threat”. But I didn’t know that back then; mny father did and chose not to tell me. Me and the girl were toying with the idea of a Vegas wedding so I can stay and not have to go. He gave me the fatherly advice of “It would be better to do the Vegas wedding after you come back with another 5 year Visa, which wouldn’t take more then 2 weeks to obtain anyway”, while he knew it would take at least 3 months. He later on excused it by saying that he did it because “He just wanted his son by his side”. Grrrrrrrrrrrr……. Yesterday- All my troubles seemed so far away. Ok , sorry. Nothing much really. After work went to Tabasco, where I bumped into Noora Younes by coincidence. A while later a friend passed by and hung out with me, and then I went home where I invited a couple of people over and watched Garden State, which is an awesome movie that you should see if you haven’t. (Thanks for recommending it S.) 5 snacks I enjoy- Choclate coverd Oreos, Chicken Quesadillas, Boneless Buffalo wings, Mozerrela sticks and Snickers. I love Snickers. Snickers are awesome. 5 songs I know all the words to- Yesterday by the Beatles (Duh), American Pie by Don Mclean (Madonna’s version sucks and she should be shot for doing it), Gangsta’s paradise by Coolie (Oh, come on, everyone my age knows that one), The Way I am by Eminem and Through with you by Maroon Five (Best Break-Up song..ever). 5 things I would do with $100 million dollars- Invest 50 million in the stock market and the rest leave in the bank; Buy an Island in the Bahamas and biuild my won resort there; get a place in each one of those places: New York City, London, Amesterdam, Austin, and Palma De Mayorka; Marry Alexis Bledell or Natalie Portman- sure, they would divorce me and get half my money, but the sex would be worth it; Buy a huge ranch in Missouri where I can realize my childhood fantasy of being a Cowboy and do nothing but ride horses all day. 5 places I would run away to- New York City, Amesterdam, Cannes, El Ghounah, Dubai. 5 things I would never wear- my heart on my sleeve, striped ties, suspenders, Leather pants, the color Orange. 5 favorite tv shows- (Fine, but don’t laugh) Southpark, Clone High ("I'm a Kennedy; I'm not accustomed to tragedy"), Buffy, Angel ( I am a whedonhead), and the Sopranos. 5 biggest joys- Spending the day on the beach with friends, horse back riding by the pyramids, Having a drinks with a bunch of friends that just want to have fun and don’t mind getting shitfaced, Traveling by planes, and taking sudden and hastily planned roadtrips. 5 favorite toys- My Ipod, My Xbox, My talking Scooby Doo doll (bite me), My W. Bush Booble head, my back massager. 5 people I tag- Pamela, Sally, Z. , Nadz, and Highlander.

Bush wants to help starving people, Senate says No!

This piece of news should piss Kanye West off: A Bush administration proposal that sought to get food to starving people more rapidly and efficiently was rejected by Senate leaders yesterday, but the Canadian government announced that it was increasing the use of the same technique. [...] Canada's minister of international cooperation, Aileen Carroll, said in an interview that the new policy would permit Canada to spend more than $100 million in aid "to get more food to more people more quickly." In contrast, under the food aid program run by the United States Agency for International Development, with a budget of more than $1 billion, all food must be bought in United States markets and most must be shipped on United States-flagged vessels. Shipping costs consume 40 percent to 50 percent of the food aid budget, and delivering the food typically takes four months. The Bush administration asked that the aid agency be allowed to spend up to a quarter of its food aid budget in or near the poor countries afflicted by hunger crises. The Senate leadership declined to include such a provision in the agricultural appropriations bill passed yesterday. The House did the same in June. What countries are we talking about here? The World Food Program estimates that more than 10 million people will need food in Malawi, Mozambique and Zambia, among other nations. Ohh, yeah. Bush hates Black people. Just eats them Black babies for breakfast. Sigh...

Don't believe the hype..

..that the Iraqis want the american troops to leave or that there is no progress being reached in Iraq. The Iraqi troops are showing huge signs of progress and the iraqis acknowledge that a withdrawel would just be a victory for the forces of Chaos. (Hattip: Stefania) "A couple of months ago, they might not have been able to pull it together after something like that," said Col. H.R. McMaster, commander of the U.S. Army's 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, who witnessed the abortive raid and helped bandage an Iraqi soldier whose wounded hand was pouring blood onto the sidewalk. "They showed a lot of resolve. Eventually, they will be able to control this city." The Tall Afar offensive, which began Sept. 2, is the largest urban military operation in Iraq since November's siege of Fallujah. Unlike many previous joint offensives, however, it is the Iraqi army that has the majority of the soldiers on the ground -- 5,000 of the roughly 8,500 troops involved -- that does the most intense fighting and that pays the heaviest price. At least nine Iraqi soldiers have been killed during the operation, compared with one American. "We were not afraid. We are here to protect our country," said Pvt. Tarek Hazem, 28, of Baghdad, his hands and uniform still red with the blood of men he helped treat when the building exploded. "All we feel is motivated to kill terrorists." [...] U.S. and Iraqi commanders acknowledge that it will be many months before the Iraqi units are able to function on their own, a belief echoed by dozens of Tall Afar residents interviewed during the operation. One year ago this month, U.S. and Iraqi forces swept through Tall Afar, but when the Americans largely withdrew from the region, the insurgency returned, stronger than ever. "If the Americans leave, the chaos will come back. The bad people will come back again, just like before," said Abdullah Wahab Muhammed Younis, one of the city's most prominent Shiite sheiks, who said insurgents have killed 14 members of his family and wounded 33 in the past year. "The Iraqi army is stronger than it was, but they are not ready. Not yet." They need your help, now more then ever. Please do not abandon them!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Plan

I have been kind of stoic lately concerning the political situation in Egypt, especially after the fiasco that was the result of the presidential election. The way things went down, made me sort of lose interest in what’s happening on the political scene, for it all seemed to be kind of contrived and stupid. However, when you are as interested in politics as I am, when you say that you sort of lost interest, well, that’s a nice way to say that “You still follow it, but just don’t obsess about it as much”. I have been politically stoic since the election, sort of observing while detached from the whole thing. And that, interestingly, led me to gain a completely new perspective on the whole situation and it gave me a few ideas. Looking at the election now and it’s really low turn out, I am not sure that a lot of vote rigging happened. It really wasn’t necessary, because no one went and voted. The 6 million people who voted Mubarak are the police and the government workers and Union members who were bused and forced to vote for him. We also can not discount the effect of the NDP media onslaught on the psyche of the average Egyptian voter. Had more people been allowed to vote, using their ID instead of the Voter registration card, I highly doubt that Mubarak would’ve lost at all. He wouldn’t have 88%, but he still would’ve won. He had too much money, too powerful of a media machine and a really organized campaign. None of the others had anything even close. Ayman Nour was able get International Media attention thanks to the work of his wife, old Newsweek correspondent, Gamilla Ismail. She knew how to present him to the international media, while the other candidates didn’t even think that was important at all. So the question becomes: Well, how do we remedy the situation? How do we balance the scales? And the answer you won’t like is: You can’t! They have way too much power and money for this to ever be a fair fight. Everybody knows that. But that doesn’t mean it’s a hopeless case. The opposition parties will have to fight, well, just a little bit dirty, and I have been helping them do just that! I will tell you all how on the sequel to this post, which I will publish tomorrow, because now I have to go. I am sorry, but this is all for today folks. Have a good one!


Here is something good that I can use my audience of readers for: Crystal, who has one of the funniest blogs ever, needs our help getting the wedding of her dreams. She is a single mother of 2 kids and always broke, so she could use a break by getting that wedding. The best part about it: You don't have to pay or donate anything. There is a radio station that started a contest and whomever gets the most votes gets a free wedding. The voting ends tonight, and she had a late start, so she needs all the help she can get. All the details are in her post here and the place where you can go and vote is here (They are the last couple on that page, so scroll down and ignore all the other wannabees). VOTE FOR CRYSTAL ROSS & CHRIS MCKEE!

On Saints

I think I maybe the only one who thinks that humanity's criterion for selecting saints is very flawed and stupid. Most Saints are people who brought suffering upon themselves and we are somehow expected to respect them for enduring it. I don't know about you, but that sounds sort of masochistic to me and just a little bit on the silly side. Mother Theresa, for example, used to swallow the drool of people who had leprosy when they kissed her, and that was considered admirable for some weird reason. I never understood that personally: Did she like cure leprosy by doing that? Why exactly is she swallowing that spit? What's the point exactly? And why is swallowing anyone's drool considered saintly? If the world was ruled by me, there would be a completely different way to chose Saints: They would be the individuals who would've contributed, in some way, in making people enjoy life and become happier in general. In case i am not clear or you find the criteria too confusing, here is a list of people that I think would qualify for the Sandmonkey Sainthood immediately: 1) The Mexican dude who was willing to try to get liquor out of a cactus and created Tequila. 2) The chemist who invented the birth control pill. 3) Also the dude who invented Prozac. 4) Oh, and Viagra! 5) Whomever started the first Conga line. 6) The designers of the Push-up bra, thongs and G-strings. 7) Whomever organized the first Booze-cruise. 8) The first people who thought that celebrating New Year's eve was a good idea. 9) The guy who invented the Ipod. (You are awesome) 10) Alexander Graham Bell. What would we do without phones? 11) Also the genius who invented the answering machine. Leave a message at the beep Biatch! 12) Breathmints. Whomever invented thee is awesome. 13) The people who started the first ever October Fest. 14) Whomever invented Fireworks. 15) The Person who made the first Keg and then tapped it! 16) The inventor of Ice-Cream. 17) Oooh, and choclate. 18) The creator of the card deck. 19) The dude who invented Ice cubes. 20)The first couple who used their tongues while kissing and invented french-kissing. Ladies and gentlemen, those are, in my opinion, the true saints of this world, and they should be celebrated way more than they are now. They are all agents of fun and happiness, and we at the Sandmonkey blog would like to praise them for it. So, to all of those people listed above: You are awesome! You made our shitty world a more tolerable place to be and we owe you big for that. You are the true saints of this world as far as I am concerned and I salute you.

Boobs for Borubon street

If you are short on cash, but got nice boobs, here is a way for you to raise money for NOLA: All you have to do is take a topless picture of yourself and submit it. Come on ladies; do it! It's for a good cause.

What the hell is Rumsfled doing?

Why did the DoD silence Shaffer from testifying in front of the Senate about the Able Danger Program that identified Mohamed Atta as a terrorist 2 years before the 9/11 attack and how he was forced to destroy that information? If anything, this happend during the Clinton adminstration, and would provide the perfect evidence that 9/11 was Clinton' s fuck-up and not Bush's. What the hell are they thinking? Maybe the better question is, what the hell are they hiding?

A Tale of 2 Evacuations

The comparison really makes NOLA look bad, but at least people are handeling it efficiently this time. Now here is a random thought: Florida: Governer is Republican, efficient evacuation. Texas: Governer is Republican, efficient evacuation. Louisiana: Governer is Democrat, huge clusterfuck of an evacuation. Association is not causation, or is it? Me wonders!

On Jelly bracelets and sex games

Reading about stuff like that makes me really happy i am not a parent to teenage kids. It also makes me sad that I am not a teenage kid. Those bastards are having way too much fun! And we thought we were so cool with spin the bottle. How lame does that seem now?

Rebecca Romjin & Jerry O'Connell = yuck!

You know, I always suspected Rebecca Romjin had a big heart within her really hot body, because she took pity on John "unemployed" Stamos and married him for 6 years. But then they divorced and all seemed well with the world, until she proved that she is just attracted to losers by getting engaged to Jerry O'Connell. Jerry hasn't done anything even remotely good since the first season of Sliders ended (Ok, Tomcats is the exception that proves that rule), so what the hell is one of the world's hottest women doing with him and not with me? Life is just not fair!

To whom it may concern

As my mailbox indicates, some of you seem to be concerned that for the past week or so this blog hasn't really been about writing, but more about commenting on links and stuff like that. And while they all appreciate the linky lovin I provide, apparently they like my writing and miss the times when I used to write long drawn out essays and rants. They are wondering what the hell happend. Well, I can explain... Yes, you are right about the fact that I really haven't been writing a lot lately, but that's because of how depressing it got a while ago. My life is a rollercoaster in many ways and it has crazy ups and downs and there has been a lot of down lately. I don't want that to affect the people that come and read me, but at the same time you come to my blog expecting, in many ways, entertainment. So this was the compromise I had with myself: Until personal mood shifts to the better, this blog would have less personal content and more general-oh-my-god-the-world-is-crazy links, which were also a staple of this blog. I figured if i can't give you something to think about, I might as well give you something to laugh about. The snag in that plan was that most of this blog's visitors are thinking people. If they wanted entertainment without mental stimulation they would watch the E! Channel. So for all of you getting bored with the excessive linking (as the drop in comments shows), me apologizes. My bad. So yeah, I guess this blog will return to its original shape soon. Maybe even today. I just gotta post a few funny links first!

Old Gwen Stefani is not hot

How those celebs will look like old!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Z. takes on dubious hadiths...

Z. has an excellent post on dubious islamic hadiths that really piss her feminist muslim-self off. The post covers the 7 levels of Islamic hell, what is it that exactly awaits muslim women when they get to Heaven, why most women won't even go to heaven anyway and the 99 dragons that will be chilling with you in your grave. Yes, Dragons. The whole post is filled with fun informative stuff of the nature. Please go read it and laugh, or cry, or something!

...while Nadz hosts the Mad Mullah awards

Just watch Nadz handing out the awards while doing what she does best: ripping Mullah idiots a new one. That girl is good! Why do I have a feeling that those 2 girls would like each other?

Clinton will soon stop chinese pregnancies

Read this and make your own joke about it. It's just too easy!

Brazilian ants love Jesus

They apparently do, or they wouldn't create images of him on tree leaves. Ohh yeah, did i mention they knew how to write on those leaves in Portugeuse as well? Hmm.........

That's my kind of judicial activism

An Oklahoma ex- judge is facing charges for exposing himself and having a Penis Pump under the bench. I always suspected they were "going commando" under those black robes, but a Penis Pump? How does that work exactly? Did he like pump it up while the lawyers dilligate? Is that what turns him on? Humans are freaks...

Anal Sex is the new..ehh..frontier

William Sleatan has a slightly scary article on how anal sex- the most icky type of sex you can engage in and i am not talking because of the santorum involved- is becoming, ehh, kinda rampant, and yet the newspapers refused to mention it, concentrating on the less kinky oral sex part of the survey. Guess it's easier having the "going south" talk then the "cruising the hershey highway" talk. Hmm.......

On being fiscally responsible

Slate has an excellent article on how being fiscally conservative in today's America is probably the most frustrating thing ever: Everybody sympathizes, nobody really does anything about it. Here is a key quote: Bush officials and advisers say they're going to balance out the costs, but they've said that before. Privately they seem to have a less rigorous view of the perils of blowing the bank. Former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neil says that when he tried to resist tax cuts, Vice President Cheney replied: "Reagan proved that deficits don't matter." During last year's presidential campaign, a senior administration official put their worldview more bluntly: "Name me one person who has lost an election because of the deficit." This , I believe, is an important topic, especially with the debate on how to fund or pay for the $60 Billion needed for initial Katrina relief. Now, I may not the be smartest tool in the shed, but this seems like a good place to start! Just saying!

Psychos needed to make a Killing in the markets

This should explain why i am in Investment banking: Psychos - according to this survey- are the ones most equipped to make a killing in the Financial markets.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Sandmonkey blog is educational too

Just in case you were not totally clear on the topic, here is a funny video that explains how exactly pregnancy happens. Amazing are the things that you did not know about what you thought was a very simple process. It just re-inforces my belief that Condoms, truely, are our friends. Some of you may wonder why I would have such a thing on, since the people who do read this blog are mostly adults and for the most part know this stuff. Well, the answer is simple: It's for the kids people. I am doing this for the kids.

Catch 22

The North Koreans are willing to give up their nuclear program, but only if they get a nculear reactor in return?

Burger King hates muslims!

It does, or else they wouldn't have ice cream cones that have an inscription on them that may be preceived as the word "Allah". It's their way, you see, to disrespect islam and make it weak, by having the people eat "Allah" and associate the sensation with the deliciousness of Ice Cream. Truly a devious plot aimed at weakening Islam and muslims. I bet the Jews are behind that one.

What the hell is going on there?

Ok, this story is confusing and disturbing: It is reported that the Iraqi police exchanged fire with 2 Undercover UK soldiers who were planting explosives. The UK army sends tanks and breaks the 2 soldiers out freeing 150 criminals in the process. However, the UK army says that the reason they moved in was because the 2 soldiers were handed to the Muqtada Al Sadr's militia by the local police. They stormed the jail to discover that the soldiers were not there and they were later rescued from a nearby house. Okay, what the hell is going on there? If you can figure it out, let me know. Ok?

Romance in Katrina

Some of you may find this story romantic, so i figured i would share it with you. The Sandmonkey blog is for lovers y'all!

Cindy Sheehan...arrested?

I can not confirm this but there are reports on the net of the arrest of Cindy Sheehan at a Rally in New York, here and here. This pisses me off personally, not because i support the crazy hoe, but because if it's true it will make a martyr out of her. I can just see how this could be spun to show the evil Bush regime squashing the freedom of speech of the american people. If this is true, then whomever orderd her arrest is either really stupid, or someone who just wants to embaress the adminstration.

Monday, September 19, 2005

A woman running in a local Board election in Saudi

A Saudi woman is making history by being the first woman in her country to ever run for an election, even though it is the for the chamber of commerce board election. They weren't going to allow it, however, something happend that changed their minds: The Saudi women spoke up! She entered four days after Trade Minister Hashem bin Abdullah Yamani overruled a decision by the Jiddah Trade and Industry Chamber to reject the nominations of 10 businesswomen to run for positions on the chamber's board. The intervention was an unprecedented move in a country where women are under heavy restrictions, including being barred from driving a car or traveling without a male guardian's permission. [...] A flood of petitions from businesswomen asking to be allowed to run prompted Yamani to order the chamber to open the door to women candidates and allow women to vote. He also ordered the election for the 18-member board to be postponed until Nov. 15 to give time for new candidates, including women, to come forward. More than 30 businesswomen are expected to seek seats on the board. Awesome! Maybe they should do the same thing to get the right to drive! I know, I know, but I can dream, damn it!

Syria next?

The very relaible and not at all biased Huffington post has an exclusive claiming that the US ambassador to Iraq made remarks on how Syria is next on the US' countries to attack list. Oh yeah, that's sounds right!

In the face of the Haters

Afghanistan has yet another sucessfull election, despite the violence and the threats made by the Taliban. All of you Afghan war critics can kiss my @$$. And mark my words: Iraq will be the next success story!

North Korea vows to drop nuclear program

This, for the most part, seems to be good news. Let's just hope the Koreans keep their word this time.


A former 10 Downing street aide is releasing a book on Tony Blair and his inner circle that could be construed as downright slander: He claims that Tony relished his "first blooding" of sending british troops to combat, of insulting the Welsh and having people have sex on his office's sofa. That's just wrong, man! I am sorry, but most of the accusations or statments in this book will be impossible to refute or prove, not that people who will buy it will require any proof from the writer. Most of them already have their minds made up already. You know?

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Question of the day

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?

The grapple in the apple responses

In case any of you wonderd, I thought Hitchens won the debate with Galloway hands down, while Galloway won the "I can shout louder than you and insult you personally" award for the night. My granny always said that people with the loudest voices usually have the weakest argument, and I believe that to be true. She is a wise lady. However, you don't have to take my word for it: the web consesnus shown in this round-up showed Hitchens winning. At the same time, some people on the left are starting to get seriously uncomfortable with gorgous George being their new star and representitive. I am glad some of them are actually thinking. I was worried there for a bit after the support that Mother Sheehan received from them. You know? UPDATE: Here is the full transcript of the debate. Enjoy and make your own judgments!

The Onion can predict the future..

...when it comes to the Gilette and Schick Razor wars at least. Check out the Satire and the reality and note that the Satire was written more than a year ago. What a world we live in.

Super Pope

For those of you who think the Pope does nothing but wear pointy hats and tell people what they should do with their sex lives, you would be shocked to know that he is one hell of a demon fighter as well, at least according to Nintendo.

The Truth about PETA

Penn and Teller take on PETA on their show "Bullshit" and they expose that this "Ethical" organization killed more then 2/3 of the animals they took in, finances people who bomb sicence labs and teach people how to make bombs and wandt to propose measures to end medical research as we know it. Ohh yeah, did I mention that they liken animal treatment to the Holocaust and think that violence is not wrong and is nothing more then a tactic? Yep, that's how ethical they are. Watch the whole thing here, as Penn and Teller break it down while they eat tons of meat and chicken.

The Human Zoo

A Zoo in croatia has added a human exhibit to to their visitors, where poeple visiting the Zoo can get to experience what it feels like to be in a cage. That would be cool except for 2 things: 1) The visitors are allowed to go in and leave at will, which is soo not fun! They should be locked in there for days and get the same food animals get. You know, for the sake of the experience. 2) The exhibit has an enviromental message. "We wanted people to get a perception of how the animal perceives the cage," Anic told The Associated Press. "But we also wanted to inform people about all the ecological problems for which humans are directly responsible." One cage is for "good man," and is furnished with things made of natural materials — bamboo chairs, and water and fruit displayed on a wooden table. The other, for "evil man," has materials that harm nature — plastic chairs, and garbage in the corner, with a note above the mirror reading: "The most dangerous beast on the planet." Okay people, Bamboo = good, Plastic = bad. Got that you planetary dangerous beasts you?

Zombie-creating worms

William Sleatan reports of a parasite that turns insects into zombies. A worm grows inside a grasshopper, eats nearly all of its organs, then injects proteins into the brain to make the grasshopper jump into water, where the grasshopper dies and the worm can propagate. A wasp larva similarly commandeers spiders to make them build larva homes before the larva kills the spider. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

Sharon fears going to Britain

Because he may get arrested there for charges filed against him and other major israeli generals by a human rights group. Now, me wonders, why the hell isn't Ahmed Dinjad afraid of the same thing when he came to do his UN speech in New York? He could be arrested for being under suspicion of partaking in the US embassy hostage crisis, right? That would've been interesting, no?

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Mother Sheehan is nuts

For anyone who ever doubted that Cindy Sheehan is batshit crazy, well, her latest article- on Michael Moore's website nonetheless- is for you: The vast majority of people who were looting in New Orleans were doing so to feed their families or to get resources to get their families out of there. If I had a store with an inventory of insured belongings, and a tragedy happened, I would fling my doors open and tell everyone to take what they need: it is only stuff. When our fellow citizens are told to "shoot to kill" other fellow citizens because they want to stay alive, that is military and governmental fascism gone out of control. What I saw today in Algiers lifted up my spirits, but what I also saw today in Algiers frightened me terribly. So, we shouldn't shoot people who try to rob us because they may be doing it to stay alive? That's being facist? Facist? Enforcing the law is facist? In what world does...nevermind... that's not even the best part. This is: I don't care if a human being is black, brown, white, yellow or pink. I don't care if a human being is Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, or pagan. I don't care what flag a person salutes: if a human being is hungry, then it is up to another human being to feed him/her. George Bush needs to stop talking, admit the mistakes of his all around failed administration, pull our troops out of occupied New Orleans and Iraq, and excuse his self from power. The occupied New Orleans. Jesus!

PETA is human abuse

For all of you out there that are pissed off by the crazy tactics employed by PETA to get their point across, this rant is for you. The Writer saw a PETA billboard saying "Feeding your kids meat is child abuse" and like any sensible human being, got enraged over the mindnumbingly stupid message and naturally, the messengers. Moneyshot: I've got no problem with vegetarians – if you want to eat nothing but leaves and tree bark, go right ahead. It's not bothering me at all. But don't try to tell me what I can and can't eat. Hell, even if you want to put up a billboard promoting vegetarianism and recommending that people consider it, because after all, animals are cute, even the big dumb smelly stupid ones that you can hunt with a hammer like cows, that's totally cool with me. But the second you call me a Nazi or the Antichrist because I eat meat, or say I’m an abuser of children because I buy a kid a burger, that's when you've taken the first bullet train straight into Batshitzania. As should come as no surprise, PETA happens to be headquartered in Batshitzania, and most of its members have taken up permanent residence there as well. Word.

Heads should roll

A Pentagon employee was orderd to destroy data that identified Mohamed Atta and others as terrorists 2 years before the 9/11 attacks. Ehh, in case anyone needs a reminder, that's back when Clinton was President. A Pentagon employee was ordered to destroy documents that identified Mohamed Atta as a terrorist two years before the 2001 attacks, a congressman said Thursday. The employee is prepared to testify next week before the Senate Judiciary Committee and was expected to identify the person who ordered him to destroy the large volume of documents, said Rep. Curt Weldon, R-Pa. Weldon declined to identify the employee, citing confidentiality matters. Weldon described the documents as "2.5 terabytes" — as much as one-fourth of all the printed materials in the Library of Congress , he added. [...] He added that certain data had to be destroyed in accordance with existing regulations regarding "intelligence data on U.S. persons." Weldon has said that Atta, the mastermind of the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and three other hijackers were identified in 1999 by a classified military intelligence unit known as "Able Danger," which determined they could be members of an al-Qaida cell. The 9/11 commision's response? On Wednesday, former members of the Sept. 11 commission dismissed the "Able Danger" assertions. One commissioner, ex-Sen. Slade Gorton, R-Wash., said, "Bluntly, it just didn't happen and that's the conclusion of all 10 of us." Weldon responded angrily to Gorton's assertions. "It's absolutely unbelievable that a commission would say this program just didn't exist," Weldon said Thursday. Indeed!

Conversation: Me, the Don, male streetwalkers and vibrating panties!

*This is a conversation between me and my friend "The Don" Wallace.* Wally: Sam Sam: yes Wally: I got something to tell you Sam Wally: are you sitting Sam: yes Sam: shock me big boy Wally: Ronelle Sam: engaged Wally: yes Sam: Dave Wally: yes Sam: that's it? Wally: you cock sucker you Sam: lol Wally: that's insane and you go that's it Sam: hehehehehe Sam: sorry Sam: what’s so insane about it Sam: he is her bitch Sam: she is a loser Wally: David the dude from freshman year Sam: she needed someone to carry her ass Sam: the boy probably makes more then she does Wally: wow Sam: I know who he is Sam: Losers of his magnitude are hard to forget!

Sam: I got the most genius idea Wally: what Sam: vibrating panties Wally: yeah Sam: with an alarm clock Wally: they already have those Sam: so u can like Sam: if u r a woman Sam: set it Sam: so u can wake up orgasming Sam: perfect Sam: don't u think? Sam: just starts vibrating 15 minutes before the time u r supposed to wake up Wally: already have those Sam: with alarm clocks? Wally: ohh boy Wally: yes Sam Sam: wow Sam: Awesome Wally: they pamper women in this country Sam: fuckin women have it all, huh? Wally: so much so they almost don't need us Sam: they will always need us Sam: they hate each other way too much Wally: so very true Sam: they will always need us to play referee Wally: lol Sam: not to mention Sam: we give them an excuse Sam: "ohh . it's the men's fault there is so much violence and war" Sam: shit Sam: Can u imagine what kind of reasons women would go to war for, if they were in charge? Wally: yeah we'll see this fall on FOX Wally: woman president Wally: SAM Sam: oh Sam: it's a show? Wally: yup Sam: fuckin A. Sam: They keep stealing all of my ideas. Sam: My talents are wasted here Wally: yup Wally: Genna Davis will “star” in it! Sam: Ewwww. Geena Davis..barf... Wally: yup
Sam: hmm Sam: i figured it out Wally: what? Sam: why women have such better sex toys Sam: and why ours are so disgusting Wally: why Sam: because Sam: if we really really need to Sam: we can always go and buy ass Sam: women can’t do that Wally: exactly Sam: there are no men streetwalkers Wally: but I would if I could Sam: become a male street walker? Wally: hell yeah Sam: lol Wally: pay me bitch Sam: is it disturbing that I don’t find the thought entirely unappealing? Wally: DON BIGgestHOE Sam: hehehe Wally: fuck a duece bigalo Sam: go for Wallace Wally: exactly Sam: Yet, somehow, the idea of being a male prostitute doesn’t bother u at all? Wally: lol Sam: guess it's like getting paid for doing what u love Wally: Exactly
The places my mind goes!

Loving Zayed

The boys at Or Does it.. are reporting of an austrian pop hit written as an ode to the late UAE leader Sheikh Zayed. The lyrics are just, well, just a little too much: For all the visions you believed in For the goals you have achieved And for the peaceful ways you chose The country flourished like a rose For all the good things you did start We want to thank you from our hearts Your name will echo in our heads A name we never will forget Zayed LOL! They think I should write their next single, "an ode to Mubarak", and I would agree, but i am not sure i am talented enough to write such a song, so i may need some help. Anyone has any idea of a way to start the song? Lyrical submission will be accepted in the comments section.

The troublesome Jeb offspring

Poor Jeb Bush, as if Noelle's drug problem wasn't enough of a scandal, now his youngest son got arrested in Texas for public intoxication and resisting arrest. Hats off to the Texas police though, they don't care who you are , who your father or your Uncle is. They will lay down the law on your ass no matter who you are. Ain't nobody messing with Texas.

The vicious cycle

This excellent METimes article talked about something that I have always wanted to discuss with people: the egyptian political detainees and how once arrested, even if they are 100% beyond reasonable doubt innocent, can never be released. Why? Well... A police officer summed up the situation very clearly to political detainee Abdel Moneim Mohammed, who has spent 13 years in the custody of the Egyptian interior ministry: "We can't release you [regardless of whether you are innocent or guilty]. After spending years in prison, you hate us - and setting you free will be a great risk." How bad is it? Egypt has more than 15,000 political detainees, according to the Human Rights Center for the Assistance of Prisoners (HRCAP). Release verdicts are issued by courts but are rejected by the interior minister. Authorized by the Emergency Law - in place since 1981 - the minister issues new detention warrants, prolonging the prisoners' time behind bars and their families' time in agony. [...] The Egyptian interior ministry adopts certain criteria for releasing political detainees, as stated in the 2004/5 annual report of the National Council for Human Rights (NCHR): "[The Ministry releases] prisoners whose critical health conditions make it difficult for the prison's administration, or the hospitals affiliated with it, to handle the prisoners' health, in which case the prisoner is released only on the condition that the ministry ensures he rejects extremist beliefs and ideas, which are harmful to the country's security." Seif Al Islam of the HLMC comments on this criterion, "It's clear that the ministry's goal is to keep people in political detention until they start dying ... This policy has been adopted since 1981." Consequences? One detainee's wife speaks of her four-year-old son who wants to grow up and become a policeman, then create a "big prison to keep all those who arrested [his] dad". Another boy, the son of detainee Yahya Abdullah, vows to his mother, "I will buy a gun and kill the policeman who is keeping my dad in custody." A new generation of political detainees' children: Watch them grow. God, how much I fear the future!

My 2 cents

A lot of people got really worked up in the comments section of the Choices Post. After keeping my mouth shut for 4 days, and seeing all kinds of things being said about me, I finally put my 2 cents in and said my peace here.